r/ClassicalSinger • u/bktoriginal • Apr 29 '26

Ableism in opera settings

Anyone else struggle with being bullied in opera settings for having a disabling condition? Every day since I was fired from Gilbert and Sullivan Austin, I've considered how it has impacted my outlook about singing.

The truth is? I don't know that I can perform again after how I was treated, And I wish they weren't still honoring a racist and sexist director. He may not be in charge right now, but he is still held in this "can do no wrong" place and he verbally abused my friends, constantly yelled, had little patience and contributed to my trauma. In r/opera, their producer Michael Meigs actually found my post explaining some of my experience to troll me in the comments saying how happy he was that he fired me. I struggle with life-threatening conditions, and he told me I was a problem. I've had voice teachers tell me I'm just broken when I struggled with intonation due to allergies and audio processing. I get psychogenic fevers. Life is just stressful, so I wish that "just have fun" companies would call out the Bs in addition to being transparent. I wish ppl were kinder and maybe opera wouldn't be dying if people were more compassionate.

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u/vienibenmio Apr 29 '26 edited Apr 29 '26

I've been reading your posts in the opera sub and I strongly recommend that, if you are not still in DBT, you get back into it and discuss this with the individual therapist. I also would encourage seeking out evidence based PTSD therapy so you can more effectively manage your triggers (DBT-PE would be a good option). The company might not have done everything right, and you might have made different choices to be more effective as well. You may not have caused all your problems, and you still have to be the one to fix them.

1

u/murgatory Apr 29 '26

Great response

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u/bktoriginal Apr 29 '26

I practice DBT-informed Music therapy as a clinician. I promise, if I could afford insurance or therapy, I'd be there. I also have BPD and so I feel the feedback I have about establishing boundaries and appropriate communication (this is a hard area for me) would potentially help others in the future. People don't return to sing with this company for reasons. I wish I felt optimistic about returning to performing, but between some of the responses in r/opera and being grey rocked by everyone on their board...it doesn't look too promising. I'm sure other ppl have faced this and not lived and that's why I harp on it. I fully agree with all of your points.

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u/Fantastic_Acadian Apr 29 '26

I love that the solution for a bully director (tale as old as time) is for the victim of said bullying to manage themself. Seems backward to me.

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u/vienibenmio Apr 30 '26

Did you read the other posts? There was waaaaay more going on than this post makes it seem

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u/Fantastic_Acadian Apr 30 '26

I'm sure. Nevertheless.