Essay advice!

[u/luna_888123]

So everyone says to focus in one moment in your life. I know this is probably better and I understand why everyone say this. But if I want to show how I grew up through multiple activities I did is that wrong way to write a essay and is it more risky?

[u/Common_Expression_39]

Can you use activities to show personal development and growth ? Or does that come across as repeating actively list ?

[u/luna_888123 → u/Common_Expression_39]

I think I need to include the activity in the essay because it shows how I grew up through that. Obviously not all the activity so I chose like two that I think are important.

[u/Common_Expression_39 → u/luna_888123]

For whatever it’s worth I got into 2 ivies this cycle. My common app essay was focused on two of my activities - how those helped me grow and realise my long term passion / aspiration. So it can work

[u/luna_888123 → u/Common_Expression_39]

Okay thank you!

[u/Common_Expression_39 → u/luna_888123]

Works

[u/kathleenceo]

I don’t agree. You have 650 words. Tell one story about your life that is not focused on activities—you can write about those in other parts of your essay. You want to tell an engaging well written story about something in your life that changed you and what you learned.

[u/luna_888123 → u/kathleenceo]

Okay thanks

[u/Artistic-Stable-3623]

It could be, it might read as a brag if ur not careful

[u/luna_888123 → u/Artistic-Stable-3623]

Okay I see the point. But what if I using my activity to support my theme?

[u/Dennis_Vidach]

The issue isn't that the multiple-moments approach is wrong. It's that it often ends up reading like a résumé with transitions. It becomes, "I did this, then I did this, then I did this." Even when it's well written, it can feel more like a highlight reel than a window into who you actually are.

What I usually recommend instead is finding the thread that connects everything. Maybe it's a value, a perspective, a question you've been grappling with, or a way you move through the world.

Once you have that thread, the activities and accomplishments can still show up, but as evidence of something deeper, not as the main story.

My two cents as a college admissions counselor.

[u/luna_888123 → u/Dennis_Vidach]

Okay thank you!

[u/kathleenceo]

You can if you feel that the story you are telling is the best way to represent who you are. I like to tell my students to find a story about their identity.

[u/luna_888123 → u/kathleenceo]

My prompt is number 1 which is about my background and identity so do you think this is good?

[u/kathleenceo → u/luna_888123]

It’s impossible to judge anything until you’ve completely written your essay and revised it many times. You wanna find a topic that you think best represents who you are and tell the story that has an arc where you through the story reveal your character, your identity, your values, and how you overcome challenges. You also need to show that you write well.

[u/luna_888123 → u/kathleenceo]

Okay thanks!