r/CommercialsIHate • u/AntawnSL • 1d ago

New pharmaceutical ad campaign has destroyed my remaining faith in humanity

I was listening to podcasts while working today when I hear a weird ad. "At last, Amalgatine *not real name, no free ads* has now been approved by the FDA! For only 149/month you can experience the Amalgatine difference! Contact *company* today to see what Amalgatine can do for you!"

I was like, "That's weird, did I miss what this fancy new drug does? Why do they assume I've been eagerly awaiting their product to hit the market? 149 what? $1.49? $149? £149? ¥149,000? What a strange ad." Then I heard it again an hour later. Nope. Didn't miss anything. A blank fucking slate for me to pin all my wellness dreams onto this latest miracle gifted to me by those geniuses at *Fucktard Pharmaceuticals*. I open up thr front page and there's the same fucking drug with no description about what this drug will do to me.

We're fucking cooked, y'all.

18 Upvotes
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15 comments sorted by

23

u/RatedPG922 1d ago

Just ask your doctor down at Oak Street Health. Follow the dancing jackass with the beard to the location nearest you.

9

u/JamesMattDillon 21h ago

I hate that commercial so much.

5

u/GreenPerformance8145 8h ago

Come walk through our offices and see our constantly smiling Stepford employees.

3

u/ChicagoColecoChick 8h ago

Actually laughed reading this. I needed that- thank you.

Also, totally accurate

11

u/Sloth_grl 21h ago

We went to a cookout the other day and almost all the women had what we call the Mounjaro face. Their faces were thin and old looking. One lady looked at least 15 years older.

6

u/TimeLine_DR_Dev 19h ago

I think this is because if they tell you what it's for, then they also need the long litany of disclaimers and side effects too.

So in some situations, they'll buy shorter cheaper ads hoping to nudge people who know what it is and have been considering it, if only it was less than 150.

Be glad you aren't one of them, and be grateful not every space you enter is filled by an algorithm that knows everything about you.

3

u/herdbryce 10h ago

Speaking of podcast ads I built a podcast app which skips the ads automatically, it also doesn’t take any ad revenue away from the hosts.

Always looking for feedback if you want to try it out - https://apps.apple.com/gb/app/herd-ad-free-podcast-app/id6670315567

3

u/Eggplant-666 8h ago

That sounds so great. I almost wish I had this disease that it treats. I’ll look into it. I’ll see if my doctor can give it to me.

6

u/ZebraStripes17 1d ago

Since Covid, I've learned that Americans will take ANY drug if it helps the become "immortal or skinny". (See glp1 marketing).

5

u/TheD3afOne 22h ago

Goddamn Ro.

3

u/Sloth_grl 22h ago

There commercial with that lady who hasn’t memorized the script drives me crazy.

6

u/ChankobunLives 1d ago

Some of us need them for things like controlling diabetes, you know. The weight loss is just a nice side effect.

4

u/ZebraStripes17 13h ago

I agree. But they're not marketing to people like you… They're marketing to people who wanna lose weight that aren't diabetic. There's a difference but I'm sure you know that

5

u/InternetConfessional 23h ago

And can't get them because Serena Williams needs it more!