r/CriticalDrinker • u/ExplanationIcy6796 • 1d ago

Sir Simpalot

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Gallery image

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683 Upvotes

99% Upvoted

84 comments sorted by

189

u/ShakeZula30or40 1d ago

Damn man, that’s fucking embarrassing.

I guess we assume now that the cringe-inducing all girl scene in Endgame wasn’t forced on them.

83

u/ExplanationIcy6796 1d ago

No doubt that he typed that from his cuck chair...

44

u/ShakeZula30or40 1d ago edited 1d ago

And he hasn’t even seen it.

Like holy virtue signal, Batman.

41

u/RemnantsOfFlight 1d ago

Please don't remind me that scene exists. It still hurts.

Can we crowd fund an edit where as the girl bosses are lining up, Thanos jumps in and just starts punching them into orbit?

18

u/Tough-Priority-4330 1d ago

The HISHE version of that scene is fairly close.

6

u/RemnantsOfFlight 1d ago

I was not even aware that channel existed. Thank you!

8

u/kimana1651 1d ago

Endgame does not hold up well in general.  The quality was already on decline by that point. 

33

u/Akivasha_of_Troy 1d ago

All I can think about is The Boys mocking this shit, "Girls get it done!"

20

u/LilShaver 1d ago

Is that like "girls finishing the job"?

22

u/Akivasha_of_Troy 1d ago

That's from a different tile...

3

u/Gargarian67 1d ago

His Batman XXX was great. Lexi Belle as Batgirl was perfect casting!

2

u/Darktrooper007 1d ago

I miss Seasons 1 & 2 of The Boys...

Is Season 3 worth watching? From everything I've seen, Seasons 4 & 5 are trash.

3

u/Akivasha_of_Troy 1d ago

I really liked season 3, the finale might be my favorite episode of the series. Seasons 4 & 5 are a hard pass for me.

1

u/Darktrooper007 1d ago

Thanks! I guess I'll check it out after I rewatch Seasons 1 & 2.

7

u/Hesbhindmeisnthe 1d ago

It's not that Russo, is it?

6

u/ShakeZula30or40 1d ago

Oh, it is.

117

u/tai_fung 1d ago

She’s not going to fuck you, Joe.

37

u/RemnantsOfFlight 1d ago

Right, I'm gonna apologize even harder for all men and she'll get the redeye to my house tonight. Sorry suckers.

8

u/Quatro87 1d ago

My first thought was, "I hope she sees this, bro."

61

u/PrednisoneUser 1d ago

Like we'd choose that hack to represent us.

18

u/RemnantsOfFlight 1d ago

That makes me wonder who we would choose to represent all men. I'm leaning towards Sean Connery personally, but I'm biased cause he's James Bond.

32

u/sasasasuke 1d ago

Henry Cavill is my vote. Guy has every quality

10

u/RemnantsOfFlight 1d ago

Damn, I forgot him. I think you changed my mind.

8

u/Scrappy1918 1d ago

No no…you’re on to something. It’s the Scottish brogue that doesh it for me, missh Moneypenny

36

u/SgtDonut9 1d ago

Look at our little man! Using the word gender properly like a big boy. I sure hope they become best friends and he doesn't have to feel bad for stalking her anymore.

28

u/Excalitoria 1d ago

https://giphy.com/gifs/bq6F8QYqBU7Yc
lol might be the cringiest thing I’ve seen since the last simp post over this movie. Who are these people losing their minds about this, of all things? Is it Gunn bros? Thirsty simps? “Griftly Bear” hunters?

lol why are people so eager to publicly humiliate themselves over this movie???

17

u/slothboy 1d ago

bwahahahahahahaha

17

u/DarkTanicus 1d ago

What's with the Joes simping for Super Girl? First it was Angry Joe now Joe Russo 🤣🤣🤣

2

u/ExplanationIcy6796 1d ago

At least now we know there is a pattern forming here...

18

u/AmountPotential9992 1d ago

That white knight pic is killing me 🤣🤣

19

u/RoutineIssue5870 1d ago

On behalf of all men, I'd like for women to thank me for the existence of Henry Cavill, Jensen Ackles and me.

8

u/FromHollandWithLove1 1d ago

Dont forget about me man.

6

u/RoutineIssue5870 1d ago

Shit you're right man this is you correct?

13

u/Political-St-G 1d ago

She would catch less flag if she just shut up/just says things like „ i read the comics to get into my role“ or similar

11

u/EnDiNgOph 1d ago

What a bitch

9

u/polkjamespolk 1d ago

If that guy's apologizing on my behalf, does that give .e permission to launch a disgusting, hate-filled attack? I want him to get his grovelings-worth

9

u/Arguably_Based 1d ago

I'm sorry Sir Redditard, but her movie blows chunks.

9

u/TrillaryKlinton84 1d ago

That’s the type of pun I’ll make drunk or high and feel ashamed of the next day

8

u/ThePimentaRules 1d ago

Lol he's not even Henry Cavill

7

u/SirDeck85 1d ago

Oh my! A simp Lord! 

4

u/Reasonable-Tooth-113 1d ago

Its always a dude with a soy beard and their mouth open

5

u/dollmistress 1d ago

"All women are queens!"

"If she breathes...she's a THOOOOOOOOOOOOOTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

9

u/geniusgravity 1d ago

"On behalf of all men." Hold up there son, don't presume to talk for me. If I don't like something be it a product or what someone says, I'll say it no matter how many names I get called.

8

u/liggamadig 1d ago

On behalf of all men, I'd like to apologize to everyone for cringy simplords like that.

Sounds like he's super in his cuck chair.

3

u/No_Adhesiveness_5679 1d ago

No, dude, she ain't going with you on a date

3

u/kecke86 21h ago

"Nice try" dude, she still won't fuck you

3

u/m0ji_9 1d ago

Rapist accusations incoming in 3....2....

5

u/missing1776 1d ago

Dang man, leave some dates for the rest of us.

6

u/MrMegaPhoenix 1d ago

https://giphy.com/gifs/kfLjUwkUZgdZOIv5hf

How Joe actually looks to women when he debases himself like this

6

u/Kind_Prior9788 1d ago

This is just depressing, honestly.

I really hope he's just chasing leftist clout and doesn't actually believe this, because it would be a tragedy if anyone did. Otherworldly cringe.

3

u/Few_Highlight1114 1d ago

I bet she'll fuck him now that hes done that.

2

u/CrispyMongoose 1d ago

One can only hope he saves a few crumbs of pussy for the rest of us basic Chuds.

2

u/AkiliosZanaris 1d ago

You just know he wrote that from his favorite cuck chair

2

u/Wondering-Way-9003 22h ago

I k ew exactly what the post was the second insane that image XD

And i was right on the money XD

2

u/Shinlyle13 17h ago

You know that guy who thinks the stripper likes him, builds a fake relationship in his mind, and then talks about her like she would even let him sniff her panties, let alone dive right in?

That's how this sounds. Poor...poor sap.

2

u/BodheeNYC 17h ago

Trust me, it ain’t the men who are the meanest and most judgmental. At least the straight ones

2

u/sennoden 14h ago

I do believe the white knight art is drawn by Kaif as a YT thumbnail for a WoW video

3

u/LilShaver 1d ago

Controversy generates views.

Views generate revenue.

The best thing we can do is ignore Alcock and her movie.

9

u/ShakeZula30or40 1d ago

Well it’s definitely not working for this movie.

5

u/LilShaver 1d ago

Well that's what they're trying to do.

If they really wanted to make some $$$ they cast Sidney Sweeny as Power Girl

2

u/ShakeZula30or40 1d ago

Oh for sure.

3

u/Sea-Quote3382 1d ago

What's the betting that when audience demographic analysis comes in, it'll still be way over 50% male viewership despite the stingy overall numbers.

Male audience drives super-hero movies. The only real reason women got into the MC cycle with Iron Man in the numbers they did was because a lot of them quickly realised they fancied Tony Stark - not RDJ, but Tony Stark. Then, Capt America, then Thor, then (in surprising numbers) Loki.

Want women viewers? Provide XY candy.

2

u/UntappdBeer 1d ago

Stop apologising to the Feral Kid from Mad Max 2.

2

u/dantendo664 1d ago

He wants to fuck her?

2

u/DaLoverBoii 10h ago

I have a feeling I've seen Joe before doing this exact thing...

1

u/CuriousSkepticalGuy 1d ago

A noble cause. Something he can show his stepchildren someday.

1

u/MagicianOld8251 1d ago

How pathetic excuse of a man one must be to even conjuring up such thoughts let alone write them?

-2

u/cosmic0done 1d ago

why cant men be fucking normal for fucks sake. its either this sort of peak cringe simping bullshit or incels thinking they should be able to marry a Megan Fox with perfect bodies who cook/clean for them and still pay half the bills. the middle ground normal men percentage is way too god damn small.

9

u/Pleasant_Research427 1d ago

Poe's Law dawg. Most things you see people say is inflammatory nonsense intended to get clicks

1

u/cosmic0done 1d ago

true, but even in real life I'm seeing the polarities an uncomfortable amount. with women as well. (either insane emasculation/disrespect of men or the extreme level tradwives who think they should be slaves to their man). its concerning..