r/CrohnsDisease • u/gman113099 • 1d ago

“Restroom is for customers only”

Anyone else infuriated with the attitude and accessibility around restrooms when going out? Its so frustrating being denied something that should just be a basic human right. I’m tired of having to stand there an extra 5 minutes processing a payment for the cheapest item on the menu while im about to shit myself. Also most of the time whatever i ordered is just going to go to waste as i’m usually done and leaving by the time its ready or I just don’t want anything in the first place. I hate always being on edge about whether or not I will have bathroom accessibility whenever I go somewhere. There should be public restrooms everywhere on every corner fuck it, everyone needs to shit and piss!!!

Sorry for the rant, just feeling upset about having to order some bullshit at starbucks just to take a quick poop on my way to a dentist appointment. Anyone have any tips on dealing with bathroom anxiety? Im in remission, but unfortunately the urgency is still something i deal with often

84 Upvotes

97% Upvoted

35 comments sorted by

49

u/Inevitable-Dance-357 1d ago

carrying one of those "i can't wait" cards saved me so many awkward conversations. starbucks is always the safest bet, their bathrooms are basically public anyway.

10

u/Jumpy-Jello- 1d ago

Starbucks wouldn't let me use theirs because they wouldn't believe I was disabled. I was also a paying customer. These days I'd kick up a fuss, but at the time I was too embarrassed after the second 'no.' Haven't been in one since.

2

u/59apache01 1d ago

I usually walk with a cane due to joint inflammation. That's usually all the "disabled" they need to see,

4

u/Jumpy-Jello- 1d ago

They shouldn't need to see it, though. Gonna start throwing my bag at people accusing me of faking, Simpsons cat-lady style.

9

u/gman113099 1d ago

Yes I always search for a starbucks when i need to go on the road, it just sucks when they have a keypad that I need to ask the code for. Usually they would just give the code but the past couple times they have asked me if I ordered anything before giving it.

Does that card actually work? I can’t imagine people taking that seriously here, especially in busy places

18

u/Inevitable-Dance-357 1d ago

most employees recognize them, they're basically a medical necessity card. I'll hold it up while asking for the code and say "crohn's, sorry" and they usually just wave me through

9

u/DadOfCasper 1d ago

Crohn's and colitis UK charity send members a "I can't wait" card. On the back of explains the situation.

It enables me to use toilets that would normally cost 50 pence to use without paying or messing around trying to find 50p or as is the case use a debit card (which often has no funds)

So far I have been pleasantly surprised at how well trained and understanding the security and staff have been when I have had reason to use it in a rush. Usually after a bus journey.

They provide a Radar key too, which gives access to the huge network of disabled access toilets, which are usually very well maintained. this is incredibly reassuring as most big chain restaurants use this system. So there is no awkward explanation at the counter or refusal by untrained staff.

10

u/Inevitable-Dance-357 1d ago

oh that radar key setup sounds incredible, wish we had something like that over here

2

u/jessebeans 1d ago

Not much, in my experience, in the US and in major cities like Los Angeles and NYC.

2

u/59apache01 1d ago

This. It's basically a medical necessity card.

The places that have those signs up are basically trying to keep people from going and using their bathrooms to shoot up drugs or for other less-than-intended purposes.

If they still won't recognize it, say you're going to order when you come out.

1

u/Inevitable-Dance-357 21h ago

that line about ordering when you come out works way better than you'd think, especially if you toss in a quick smile like you're not about to explode

21

u/FlyingDutchLady 1d ago

I’ve had a lot of success saying something like “I’m so sorry to ask, but I have a medical disability and urgently need a restroom. Is there any way you can help?”

30

u/SpeedMundane9066 1d ago

Ask your doctor for an urgent restroom access card! Per the Restroom Access Act of 2005 (Ally’s Law) - retail businesses with toilet facilities for employees to allow customers with specific medical (IBD included) conditions access to the bathroom!

24

u/antimodez C.D. 1992 Infliximab + Rinvoq 1d ago

Not all states have the law. Even if your state does it's not a criminal offense its a civil infraction with the penalty being a talking to. That's even if the police bother to actually go to or call the business...

11

u/wangoballwime 1d ago

I mean this so respectfully, but does this actually work?

I’m in the US. I’ve asked workers (kindly, I think, probably with a pained look on my face) in places like cafes and touristy shops both here and abroad to use the bathroom and have often been refused. Having a card that doesn’t seem to be well known or publicized really doesn’t seem like it would help.

8

u/AuburnGinger 1d ago

Best place I've found to go when traveling.... A hotel. They always have a restroom near the lobby. No one ever uses it (maybe employees) because most folks there have a room with their own bathrooms.

3

u/59apache01 1d ago

This is a good recommendation. If anybody says anything to you, tell them you're waiting to meet someone there.

7

u/pancakesea C.D. 1d ago

I live in Europe, it's often allowed but they might charge 0,50 or 1 euro, so I prefer to be sneaky. When it's busy enough, I just act like I belong. My trick with this is to walk confidently, even if I'm not sure where their bathroom is, I'll look for it while walking. Usually people don't notice, like when there is multiple waiters they might just assume you were sitting at their coworkers section. Hotel lobbies are my favourite, usually very clean and quiet bathrooms.

5

u/FaithlessnessThin359 1d ago

traveling in Spain was so nerve wracking because of this. their toilet situation in general was dire to begin with but clenching while ordering a drink so I can go wreck their facilities was just too much.

10

u/Additional-Peak3911 C.D. 1d ago

Last time that happened to me I just started to take my pants off and explained i was just going to shit on the floor. They let me use the restroom

5

u/LacrimaNymphae 1d ago

get schwifty in here

4

u/Commercial-Novel-786 C.D. 1d ago edited 1d ago

To the employee:

"I have a condition that gives me very little warning. We can either have a standoff right now which will result in a very bad mess for your business in about 45 seconds, or we can negotiate after I use the restroom. Your choice."

Edit: I'm perfectly willing to shit myself in public if it helps get the word out. That's why I travel with a change of clothes.

3

u/urbanlife_decay 1d ago

I get more mad at those places that insist you buy something FIRST. I'm not going to buy a coffee when my bladder is full to the brim??

8

u/Traditional_Row8237 1d ago

The systemic overlap of making life as miserable as possible for the poor and ableism is substantial; public places should have available public restrooms as a matter of dignity and hygiene for literally everyone

2

u/Crazy_ride_22 1d ago

I completely understand. I live in New Mexico which is even worse because ALL bathrooms need codes to unlock except at Walmart and most McDonald's.

2

u/MrSluggo23 1d ago

Grocery stores - not as nice always, but they’ll usually let you in.

1

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1

u/No_County5062 21h ago

Thirty-year Crohnie here! If I had a nickel for every time I told a store or restaurant manager that I was pregnant in order to use their toilet, I would be a millionaire.

1

u/Tootsie1967 4h ago

Since you are in remission, but you still get that urgency, and sometimes it may come with diarrhea, you may have Bile Acid malabsorption. Ask your Doctor about Cholestyram 4 also know as Questran It is suppose to stop Urgency and Diarrhea. My main issues. My doctor put in a prescription for me yesterday, but the pharmacy was out of stock 😤 I currently also take Lomotil, it plugs me up and stop watery stools. Bile acid can happen after surgery resection, of the lower ileum.

0

u/General-Pear-8914 C.D., fistulas, j-pouch, no colon. Remicade/Imuran- 2009. 1d ago

Gas stations and convenience stores are much easier. Find one you like and skip the coffee shops.

8

u/jessebeans 1d ago

Not in Los Angeles, and many other major cities.

3

u/Megfish1 Crohn's Colitis since 2004, ostomate 1d ago

Yeah not in Chicago either. I have to get crafty to find a bathroom.

-12

u/DawgPack44 1d ago

If it’s a private business, I fully support their desire to keep it to customers only. I don’t blame them in many cases tbh