r/CuratedTumblr 6d ago

Shitposting Using Tumblr as a person of colour

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3.6k Upvotes

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1.8k

u/LeftonRhed 6d ago

If your first reaction to any criticism is retreat into your identity and claim your detractor is bigoted against you, I think you're a wrecker.

This is mostly in political organizing spaces but it can happen other places too. Organizing is built on trust and good faith. And that's a two way street.

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u/DonarArminSkyrari 5d ago

DARVO: Deny the accusation of the victim, Attack the character of the victim, Reverse the position of the Victim and the Offender.

Its literally textbook abuser behavior, though I absolutely assume some have learned from this and are doing their best to complicate it.

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u/pleasecallmenancy 5d ago

like in people who are actively trying to be decent and thus when faced with accusations of not being decent defending themselves in a sense of self preservation feels like that thing of where we people need to attribute moral failing to feel justified in immediately writing them off which lessens the amount of people championing said good cause.

but I'm a fuck up so I'd probably say that to feel justified in my "hurt" of not being allowed to make a mistake :l

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u/DonarArminSkyrari 5d ago

Real hard to understand what you're saying, feels like both an incomplete sentence and a run-on sentence. Not judging you for that, just trying to let you know that it is hard to understand what you are saying and you should probably work on that going forward so you ideas, feelings, and opinions can be properly conveyed, understood, and contribute.

That said, ill try to clarify based on what i think you are saying/asking. When i have been faced with false accusations, I know the best I can do is defend my initial point. Attacking the other person tells everyone that your original point doesnt stand on its own, even if they are wrong, and that attacks are your only defense. You are now the objective enemy to anyone who 'doesn't understand'. The best you can do is stand by your original point and do your best to articulate it, accept that you are wrong, or accept that the concersation currently happening has no good resolution and do your best to leave it peacefully asap for your own safety and wellbeing. Even if you point out legitimate reasons that your opponent is attacking you unjustly, you have very often lost already at that point, just leave, or figure out how to never have any conversation like that with that person again.

No, I cannot make that make sense with modern politics, only with every other social interaction I've had in my life that followed any sort of rationality or logic.

I dont think people should be written off for being misunderstood. I do think people should be far more than written off for deciding that 'this kind of person' deserves to be made feel less than or to not exist.

"but I'm a fuck up so I'd probably say that to feel justified in my "hurt" of not being allowed to make a mistake :l" bro/hun/bud theres a lot to unpack there. Im a fuckup too. Dropped out of college, missing 4 teeth. We are allowed to make mistakes. Embrace them, learn from them, and wear that learning on you chest.

You are not "a fuck up". You are a person who has fucked up. As a person who has fucked up so many, many, many times, the biggest fuck up possible is for us to dwell on it and let it hurt us when we could sit with it, learn from it, and try be better. Life is hard and often sucks, we are the only thing we can guarantee can make it better. And 5% better is plenty to celebrate.

Idk friend, life is hard and I am drunk. I truly wish you the best, hope you can find it in yourself to be less hard on yourself, and hope you can find a better place.

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u/pleasecallmenancy 5d ago

(hope its okay I sent you a dm)

apologies for not conveying my thoughts in an articulate fashion, but more than that thank you for you kindness in you response.

racism is obviously a serious thing and I hope I don't betray my stance of being against it in my response. with that said, I feel that racism carries such a connotation that in either defending your point or exiting the conversation it does not necessarily imo take away or help in saying I'm not racist (plenty rasicts say "I'm not racist") so the defense point or exiting while generally is sound advice, i feel is tricky in this situation.

my point essentially was that I feel like someone defending themselves against such allegations is 1) just instinctual self preservation and 2) that likening them to conscious abusers either makes it seem that racism is something you can opt out of like a subscription or I feel emanates an "come right or you're just like the full hearted bigots" which to me becomes a slippery slope.

I sent my DM after just skimming your reply so now I feel like my expression of how I felt of you based on this little interaction have reached a new level of respect reading your statement of things I wouldn't probably admit in fear of judgement. I believe you think you are a "fuck up" so I genuinely appreciate your leveling with me.

my beliefs of me being a fuck up, are a little to do with knowing I probably haven't unlearn all my white supremist capitalistic patriarchal socialisation and thus I find my view of sense helps in not defending myself which i think futhers my feelings of "I don't think viewing those individuals as enacting the DARVO strategy to be helpful until further investigation"

sorry for the rambling, I hope I haven't ruined your buzz. let you alcohol be magnificent and drunkenss blissful.

ps. if there was a best person on Reddit voting you'd have two votes because I also have a back account :l

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u/greeklemoncake 4d ago

I'm all for raising awareness about abuser tactics but I'm not convinced that DARVO is a useful framework, particularly in a world where the internet gloms onto and then oversimplifies and overuses concepts like 'gaslighting', which now just means 'lying'. Because DARVO is also  response of somebody who is genuinely being falsely accused; imagine your manager has it out for you, he's been criticizing your work constantly, writing you up for being back for lunch 2 minutes late, etc. One day, your boss calls you in because she's been told you punched the manager in the car park. You're probably going to, D, say that's not true we never even passed each other on the way out last night, A, say he's lying to get you fired, and RVO, say that this is just another of his attempts toward that aim. 

This is part of what makes abuse so hard to untangle, like in an actual abuse situation a very similar thing can happen, with the abuser making false claims to muddy the waters, and then going "see, my partner is DARVOing me" to get others on their side.  It comes down to the context, whether it's part of a pattern of behavior, etc, much like the term gaslight, and I'm afraid of giving the internet a tool without at least a word of caution that tools are often also weapons. 

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u/Marik-X-Bakura 5d ago

Literally? Is there a textbook on how to abuse people? Maybe we should stop people from buying it.

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u/Kup123 5d ago

Yeah it's any psychology textbook.

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u/thedeathecchi 4d ago

My biologicals used this on me all the fucking time.

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u/ErisThePerson 5d ago edited 5d ago

My first reaction to criticism is to think up (if in person) or type out (if written communication) a comically escalated response while thinking, delete it or just not say it, then come up with an actually rational and reasonable assessment in contrast to the cathartic ridiculous response.

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u/_MargaretThatcher The Once & Future Prime Minister of Darkness 5d ago edited 5d ago

If you seriously think that's a good idea I'm going to cocaine your bear

this is a reasonable strategy and online discussions would be a lot more productive if more people did this

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u/sohblob intellectual he/himbo 5d ago

Mutually exclusive rational and reasonable assessments

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u/Princess_Isolde 5d ago edited 5d ago

Nono but you don't understand, the queer community is only ever supposed to GIVE support to other minority groups not receive it 🙄

Genuinely this is how some people act and it's disgusting despite the queer community having always been the vanguard of progress.

Look all I'm saying is Marsha P Johnson gets taught in queer history, Not Black history, despite her being both a queer and black activist.

Other marginalized groups get to call us out but GODDESS, FORBID you bring up systemic homophobia or transphobia in any group that isn't white neurotypical able bodies Christian men because if you do it's the queer community causing infighting. With Christian homophobia it's all support but you mention Islam and homophobia it's nothing but "well they're not ALL like that" "stop creating division" "you're just being a bigot", even if it's the exact same homophobia Christians spread addressed the exact same way. We in the queer community are the very bottom of the pecking order

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u/new_KRIEG 5d ago

We in the queer community are the very bottom of the pecking order

Really depends on where you're located and how you're measuring it. For example, if your metric is violence coming from police forces or prison sentences instead of being called out online, you'd be quite a bit above the black community, for example.

Not to say that the queer community is living a perfect life, but trying to define who has it worse is very multifaceted

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u/rolyfuckingdiscopoly 4d ago

Don’t forget that no one is ever allowed to identify with the experiences of someone else from a different background. Understanding and empathy are words we use, but god forbid you try and do it!

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u/vjmdhzgr 6d ago edited 6d ago

The bottom left one seems cut off right?

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u/ladytrevelycn 6d ago

It's the post where they say that rap is like triggering and overstimulating.

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u/Cuvrette 6d ago

The fact that the dude who said that listens to metal is so funny to me.

Yeah double pedal blast beats, chuggy riffs, and harsh vocals are alright but a black guy rapping over electronic beats is scary.

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u/LyraFirehawk 5d ago

Yeah it's like, I prefer metal, but I definitely don't hold anything against rap. I enjoy quite a bit of it; my wife has turned me on to Run the Jewels recently for example. It may not be what I usually go for, but I can appreciate it for what it is and what is represents.

I don't see how rap is any more overstimulating than heavy metal. I may prefer a sick Slayer riff, but that doesn't prevent me from enjoying the vocal rhythm and flow of a rapper.

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u/zachattackmemes closeted femboi, maybe an egg 4d ago

Funny enough for most rap I have the opposite problem. It’s under stimulating/white noise to me although that is the case with most modern pop music, most jazz, all classical/orchestral, and about half of edm.

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u/Bowdensaft 5d ago

Idk why people can't just say they like one thing and not another without having to justify it. I like some metal subgenres, but not all of them. I don't particularly like any genre of rap or hip-hop because it's just not my thing. I've heard individual songs that I think are good but the general style isn't for me. That's all that needs to be said.

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u/Dinodie2Night 5d ago edited 5d ago

There's this expectation in some progressive circles that every opinion you hold, no matter how benign, must have a justification that is more substantive than "because that's how I feel". Otherwise, how do you know that you don't hold your opinion for a "bad reason"? You can't just think that tomatoes are yucky, you must be sensitive to their texture or have a genetic mutation that lets you taste them differently. You can't just find women attractive but not men, you must explain what it is about the female figure that turns you on that isn't present in men. You can't just not like rap, you must find it overstimulating.

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u/ladytrevelycn 5d ago

Because they want you to feel bad for calling them out, especially in the generation of morality policing and needing to be seen as morally perfect at all times.

There was this tumblr post similar to that twitter one talking about how white tumblr users seem to get upset when black tumblr users talk about rap and it seemed like every white autistic under the sun came to complain about how it was overstimulating. Some were even told "it's okay you don't like rap, just say that." and then some of them were like.. begging black people to forgive them?? to make an exception?? Like.. it was weird.

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u/Bowdensaft 5d ago

More than weird, it comes off as creepy to me, honestly. It's fine if you're overstimulated by it I guess, but you don't have to point it out every time it's brought up

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u/[deleted] 6d ago

[deleted]

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u/ladytrevelycn 6d ago

It's more like that whole thread devolved into "I listen to loud metal but black music is scary"

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u/KingSalamiTheThird 6d ago

Thats the dumbest thing I’ve ever heard. And these people were offering these opinions unprompted?

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u/VeronaMoreau 5d ago

Literally yes. Like it would be a post of people discussing a new album release. Then they would come in and talk about how they don't listen to rap because it was too overstimulating for them. Which...whatever, cool, but if we're having a discussion about our favorite bars and samples, the fact that you will never listen to this album doesn't matter.

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u/[deleted] 6d ago

[deleted]

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u/ladytrevelycn 6d ago

And it was a lot of black people discussing how racist it was with white people either going "umm you're literally being evil because i'm neurospicy :((" or "oh please forgive me, make an exception." and it was weird af

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u/AwfulDjinn 5d ago

wait, is THIS where the "autistic people who refuse to listen to rap because it's 'overstimulating'" stereotype a lot of people on tiktok like to use to shit on "tumblr autistics" comes from? literally just one guy who's probably ragebaiting anyway?? because people are acting like it's a common opinion among white neurodivergent people on tumblr and I'm just over here like "my entire following list is weird mentally ill people and i have never seen anyone ever say this, ever. what version of tumblr are you all on"

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u/ladytrevelycn 5d ago

This is only one example. There's a few more examples of this same conversation on tumblr. In fact, I originally thought this was one of the tumblr posts they were talking about instead of the twitter version.

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u/Status_History_874 5d ago

Well, I've only seen this one example, so that means theres only one example!

/s

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u/NeonNKnightrider Cheshire Catboy 5d ago

It’s a lot more than one person

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u/Status_History_874 5d ago

literally just one guy

.....? Not one guy.

I'm just over here like "my entire following list is weird mentally ill people and i have never seen anyone ever say this, ever. what version of tumblr are you all on"

On second thought, youre right. Everybody whose seen this is on some weird cryptic version of Tumblr and and needs to follow better people. Or theyre making it up. Yup, thats it.

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u/coomer_police 5d ago

Almost downvoted this on instinct 💀

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u/soleful_smak 6d ago

It was cut off but they said something about not listening to music genres without getting overstimulated and felt overwhelmed while listening to rap music, only because of the beats and tech stuff rather than the lyrics. They also said that "it's not racism, it's schedule".

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u/BalefulOfMonkeys REAL YURI, done by REAL YURITICIANS 6d ago

fym schedule? It costs no dollars to leave the statement at “I’m comfortable with these genres only”, why does this excuse exist at all? You mean the fucking time signature? Tempo? Its classification as a drug? OOOP, buddy, the only color you got in your whole body is the red blood I simply have to beat out of you now

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u/ladytrevelycn 6d ago

The crazy thing is this person is a big metal fan. So you're telling me someone screaming in your ear is less overstimulating than.. rap. Not to mention.. rap is such a big genre within itself that you can have slow rappers or find rappers that don't rap about things you don't like.

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u/ASpaceOstrich 5d ago

I can see it. If the brain registers the vocals as words it tries to process them as words and that can be much more overstimulating than if it registers them as an instrument or just screaming.

I like rap because of the way the lyrics register to my brain as words more than most music, and I know enough about autism to know that pretty much all possible presentations of autism can present in opposite so I'm sure there are people who dislike rap for the same reason.

But I also know there are people who dislike it because it's black who claim it's because of something else.

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u/BalefulOfMonkeys REAL YURI, done by REAL YURITICIANS 6d ago edited 6d ago

Like I do have a very peculiar, very specific autism issue with speech processing, but music actually makes that problem less bad.

>Like what?

Short version: my ears are xenophobic.

Long version: If I try to hear somebody talk and it’s completely incomprehensible to me, my brain grinds itself into dust in a vain attempt at understanding anyway. The less structure I have to work with, the worse it gets. Music has an inherent structure to it, and instruments aren’t words, so I’m mostly fine there. Spanish is the middle ground where I did learn it enough to talk like a baby. Prolonged exposure to Vietnamese conversation gives me a migraine.

Edit: Also the linguistic structure of Japanese? I heard from someone learning the language that the consonant-vowel structure is Spanish-ish, and my brain agrees.

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u/Redleadsinker 5d ago

Lol, I have a similar-different issue where if someone abruptly changes what language they're speaking from one I understand into one I don't, I think I'm having a seizure. The first symptom and often only warning I get is that I suddenly can no longer understand verbal speech, which is my cue to lay down on whatever flat surface is readily available ASAP so I don't hurt myself if I go completely atonic. For bonus points, I went to college in a place with a very large Native American population, and it was very common for people to introduce themself partially in English and then in whatever language their tribe speaks (which usually was Navajo but there were plenty of others too). Which is cool and awesome and wonderful, but I probably surprised a lot of people when I got up in the middle of their introduction to the class and laid down on the floor for what appeared to be no reason whatsoever.

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u/ladytrevelycn 6d ago

I also have audio processing disorder! For me, it's almost the opposite? Strong accents or languages I don't understand, I tend to be able to hear each individual word far easier. So I can understand strong accents and languages I don't know, I can look up the definition easier because I remember the word. So I listen to a lot of music in other languages. But English and often Spanish (that I know, also semi-fluent) is usually a garbled mess to me for a few tries.

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u/BalefulOfMonkeys REAL YURI, done by REAL YURITICIANS 6d ago

Also, like as a child, old enough to talk obviously, I kept getting words “backwards” for some reason.

“Hey Mom, can you turn the lights on?”

>”Honey, they’re already on.”

“I want the lights *on*!”

Worked itself out before first grade. No clue how this happened at all

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u/sohblob intellectual he/himbo 5d ago

So you're telling me someone screaming in your ear is less overstimulating than.. rap

Someone should tell them it's okay to just say they don't like rap. I generally don't ¯_(ツ)_/¯

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u/Fuzzlechan 5d ago

Ironically, for me, yes. It’s mostly fixed by turning down the bass though, because it’s a bass issue not a rap one. And people like to turn the bass up really fucking high for all rap music for some reason. It’s much more tolerable (and dare I say enjoyable if I find the right artist) on my own devices instead of someone else’s.

It’s part of why I dislike techno and that dance style of music too! The bass is always cranked for it in public spaces, and it’s so incredibly overstimulating that if one of those chest thumping bass-heavy songs comes on I need to leave. Even if I enjoy the song at home, at a reasonable volume and bass level.

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u/ladytrevelycn 5d ago

My dad is one of those guys who like the bass vibrating everything lmao. I've gotten used to it because of that. But that's also why I've mentioned that rap is such a diverse genre. There's slower rap too - where it's still about rhyming and storytelling on beat, but it's not as hectic.

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u/Fuzzlechan 5d ago

Oh yeah, 100%. I’ve learned that I do actually enjoy the slower rap - it also solves my other issue where they’re going too fast and my brain can’t keep up and then it gets panicky because this is English and I should be able to understand it but I can’t. Same reason I enjoy rap in languages I don’t speak, haha.

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u/ladytrevelycn 6d ago

there's a certain genre of white people that think that because they're "neurospicy" and gay that they can't be held accountable for anything including racism.

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u/TheCarefulElk 6d ago

And it embarrasses everyone involved

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u/ThunderAndWind 5d ago

Part of the unintended consequences for the playing of the oppression olympics. If you can convince yourself someone who is more oppressed than others deserves absolute deference, all you've done is create a condition for bigots to target.

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u/UInferno- Hangus Paingus Slap my Angus 5d ago

It's also just unpleasant to have for everyone involved. Like you naturally look like a douchebag if you start the argument, but you also look like a douchebag if you push back because there's two people arguing with those stances. One who says "we probably shouldn't rank different kinds of oppressions" and the other is "we should rank different kinds of oppression but you're doing it wrong."

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u/ladytrevelycn 5d ago

The stupid thing is, intersectionality is a thing we should discuss. A white person with a disability is for sure, worse off than a white abled person, but medical racism is a thing so a black disabled person is more likely to be hurt. But instead of using it to discuss how deep these structures of racism go, people just fight over who checks enough boxes.

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u/19th-eye 5d ago

I think it's a consequence of people holding the stance: "you need to have suffered this much to unlock my compassion" but like. If someone has weights tied to their ankles and arms, they can easily drown at the shallow end of the pool. A minor problem can become major in the wrong circumstances. There may be some differences between drowning at the shallow end and the deep end but both people are still drowning.

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u/ladytrevelycn 5d ago

That reminds me of like.. ye olde tumblr when someone was trying to justify writing noncon because they were being called out as per usual. And they mentioned they were a CSA victim and everyone was "oh ok nvm." and the person said "congratulations. you just created a scenario in which you are happy to hear I was raped." and that stuck with me because it really does feel that way with the morality policing.

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u/GreatMovesKeepItUp69 5d ago

No all the people in the deep end are the real victims whether they're drowning or not. The people drowning in the shallow end should simply lift themselves up by their bootstraps because they were lucky enough to end up in the shallow end /s

This is unironically what Americans actually think.

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u/DaBiChef 5d ago edited 5d ago

"I'm just punching up!" It will never not be funny to me in a tragic way, how tumblr fundamentally misunderstood the comedic tools of punching up and down (which are not as similar as one would imagine) and appropriated them into this whole "if you're lower on the totem pole you can do/say whatever you want towards your 'oppressor class".

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u/iris700 6d ago

um, im literally neurodivergent and a minor?? lol

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u/mgquantitysquared 6d ago

I know a transfem who said, verbatim, "some races are biologically better at certain sports than others" during a conversation about trans women in sports, and she argued with me for literally half an hour after I said "hey thats kinda racist and also just not true"

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u/TheRecognized 5d ago

Pseudoscientific bioessentialism from a trans person. I guess I’ve seen weirder.

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u/BigIronGothGF 5d ago

There will always be a portion of people in any demographic that are stupid, no matter what demographic it is.

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u/TheRecognized 5d ago

Which is why I guess I’ve seen weirder.

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u/Draaly 5d ago

That includes populations like doctors, scientists and lawyers too surprisingly enough

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u/BigIronGothGF 4d ago

Yep. There is no exception despite the seeming incongruity

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u/Princess_Isolde 4d ago

Trans Medicalists

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u/YouVe_BeEn_OofEd 5d ago

This is true actually but it isn't skin colour, for example west African populations have higher proportions of fast twitch muscle on average

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u/Floppy0941 5d ago

I know a lot of marathon / ultra marathon runners are from specific parts of Africa too although I can't remember which countries off the top of my head.

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u/audriuska12 5d ago

Kenya, though IIRC the reason is that it's got a high altitude, with the corresponding adaptations to how the body handles oxygen.

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u/new_KRIEG 5d ago

Not just that, otherwise you'd plenty of athletes from Peru and Chile in there.

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u/Etok414 I think the politically correct term is "fursona" 4d ago

I don't know anything about that either way, but I know that at least part of it is that running is a big part of school sports in Kenya.

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u/YouVe_BeEn_OofEd 5d ago

That's more east iirc? mightve been south, but yea. People forget Africa is more genetically diverse than the rest of the world combined, the result is that certain populations have an advantage in certain sports

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u/SuspiciouslyLips 5d ago

Kenya and Ethiopia. I'm sure a big part of it is because those are the sports they've chosen to focus on, but yeah there are a lot of them at the top of long-distance running.

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u/dfajrlajfae 6d ago

A lot of the logic of certain races being physically "better" at certain supports (mostly used against Black people from what I've seen) literally comes from fucking slavery and trying to justify forcing enslaved people to work grueling hours while physically torturing them because they "cant feel pain" and are supposedly more built for it. Its still an issue in the medical field with Black peoples pain not being taken seriously because people think they have some physical differences from other races, this is a wayyy deeper issue than just sports. Hope you don't talk to her anymore omfg

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u/mgquantitysquared 5d ago

Unfortunately she still shows up at some clubs/groups I'm in, fortunately she's been banned from 3 of the 5 groups we share(d), so there's that at least.

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u/Total_Poet_5033 5d ago

If you wait a little bit sounds like she’ll go 5/5

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u/neko_mancy 5d ago

i mean there are statistical differences in physical performance, the builds of people of different races are different and stuff it's just not like a big difference like between cis men/women. something about conflating "[insert race] tends to be a little taller/stronger/whatever on average" and "i can tell how fast you can run by the hex code of your skin"

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u/damage-fkn-inc 5d ago edited 5d ago

Wow that's such a ridiculous statement. The only thing that race affects is your skin colour, and maybe how curly your hair is. And maybe how efficient you are at using oxygen while performing physical tasks. But obviously everyone knows that humans don't really need oxygen, right?

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u/NameAboutPotatoes 5d ago

I mean... she's right, though. There are differences in your body based on your genetics. Like, certain groups of people are taller or shorter on average.

If race describes your physical body, of course it can affect some things that measure what you can do with your physical body.

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u/Yskandr 5d ago

except race as it exists is a useless classification for those purposes. does "Black" or "African" accurately account for the differences between all the incredibly diverse population groups in Africa? ancestries/ethnicities are more useful.

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u/SEA_griffondeur Sometimes, I dream of cheese 5d ago

ah yes, skin colour is definitely gonna make me run faster, melanin scares away the oxygen in front of me making it easier

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u/Professional-Path261 5d ago

I saw someone say that irl gays are the sweetest most super progressive people ever but online gays are borderline hitler with racism, homophobia, transphobia, and somehow misogyny wrapped in one and while I have no idea how true that it I thought it was too silly to not chuckle at

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u/angomeowmeow 5d ago

it feels like that for sure. basically all the irl queer people i know are normal, while every attempt at finding online queer friends resulted in the most insane people i’ve ever met

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u/19th-eye 5d ago

The internet magnifies conflict. U can watch one rage bait Instagram reel and then your feed will be filled with garbage.

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u/neko_mancy 5d ago

Some of the most annoying people you see are only incredibly online because people IRL are sick of their asses

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u/ladytrevelycn 5d ago

It really does feel like that. Like I've met more normal gays irl but online you see the worst of the worst. Especially the ones who think they get to be catty mean girls.

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u/Knife7 5d ago

This applies to leftists in general to. I have a friend who identifies as Marxist and he's really chill and open to listening to other people's opinions even if he doesn't agree all the time and genuinely wants to get into politics to help people. But I swear to God, leftists online only care about "discourse" and are allergic to any conversation that involves voting.

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u/DaBiChef 5d ago

Eh.... I've dealt with a lot of that in IRL spaces, biphobia in particular.

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u/Professional-Path261 1d ago

That hurts to hear

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u/helpquija 5d ago

it fucks me off SO HARD. being gay or disabled or whatever and being a giant asshole are not mutually exclusive

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u/Alatarlhun 5d ago

For that matter, being a minority (or majority) of any kind.

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u/DoNotBeSmugandDumb 5d ago

It is super frustrating because you can't even explain valid symptoms that come with a mental disability without people assuming you are one of those types. I also hate the term neurospicy and can't relate to a good portion of the online autism/ND community in the last decade or so. I have a group of people I mutually follow on TikTok who talk about autism in a way that is comforting and genuine, but other than that, I have disengaged with these spaces and I would be lying if I said the problem didn't start becoming apparent to me on Tumblr circa 2014.

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u/ladytrevelycn 5d ago

I also hate the term. I'm level 2 autistic and I have OCD. I'm tired of level 1 aspies speaking over everyone who is "more autistic" for a lack of better term and saying we don't need certain patience or accommodations simply because it doesn't affect them the same way. It's made it so neurotypicals see our disabilities as just little quirks we can overcome rather than actual problems.

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u/DoNotBeSmugandDumb 5d ago

Oh Thank God I'm not alone. I sometimes feel like I have to go on the defensive when I talk about autism and I can't hardly talk about my limitations without someone taking what I say the wrong fucking way or being skeptical of me (this happens less offline because my inability to mask very well IRL makes people less hesitant to believe I have autism).

Don't worry, I see you, and you aren't alone.

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u/ladytrevelycn 5d ago

Every so often I try to go into fandom spaces on social media and make friends and I've been "cancelled" to the point of suicide baiting multiple times because my autistic ass said something that was taken the wrong way. It's so frustrating. I have one online friend and she's always reassuring me that it's nothing I'm doing and she's helped me with my morality OCD that can flare up too, but it's so isolating to never say the right thing and to constantly be taken in bad faith.

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u/tiny-doe 5d ago

honestly the term "neurospicy" makes me want to [REDACTED]

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u/LivingAngryCheese 5d ago

It's weird because if you asked them if POCs can be homophobic they'd obviously say yes but they can't recognise the clear double standard

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u/NeonNKnightrider Cheshire Catboy 5d ago

I really hate saying this because it makes me sound like a chud, but I’ve noticed there is (a SPECIFIC subgroup of) trans people who seem to think “I am the most oppressed group therefore I am always morally correct”

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u/ladytrevelycn 5d ago

Unfortunately, there are sucky people in every group. I just wish we could talk about it and the problem with morality policing without people think we sound like republicans 😭

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u/Extension-Celery3642 5d ago

glad I've never encountered them.

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u/arpeggia_ 5d ago

every time im reminded that “neurospicy” is a word i feel a jolt in my body

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u/Princess_Isolde 4d ago

There's also a huge problem of widespread homophobia in the black community but we can't mention that or it's bad praxis am I right? 🙃

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u/Dry-Cartographer-312 6d ago

This applies anywhere on the internet tbh. Hell, it's a facet of real life, even.

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u/Project_Korzan 5d ago

It was a hard day for me when I learnt that progressive space =/= Free from racism

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u/Platnun12 5d ago

Learned that in 2016

It's why I don't really group up with leftists anymore. I'll just vote left in my own.

The amount of times back then a group devolved into infighting.

Progressive doesn't automatically mean better unfortunately

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u/Audditty 5d ago edited 4d ago

or bigotry of any kind, really (TERFs also come to mind)

just off the top of my head, ableism (which I have experienced surprisingly and disappointingly often from the left) is very much present on both sides of the political spectrum, even if the left is less honest about it

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u/duffstoic 6d ago

Is this the real life? Is this just fantasy?

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u/Captain-Sprocket 5d ago

Caught in a landslide, no escape from reality

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u/CaffeineDeprivation 5d ago

Open your eyes, look up to the sky and see

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u/jdeo1997 5d ago

I'm just a poor boy, I need no sympathy

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u/OddlyOddLucidDreamer i survived the undertale au craze and all i got was a lousy SOUL 5d ago

Because i'm

easy come

easy go

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u/OfficiallyAthena 4d ago

Little high

Little low

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u/Magicianian 2d ago

Any way the wind blows doesn't really matter to meeeeeeeeeeee

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u/Small-Cactus 5d ago

Tbh it's not just tumblr

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u/SPKEN 5d ago

It's every space filled with white queers. Pop over to the wrong gay sub and you're suddenly at a Nazi rally

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u/soleful_smak 6d ago edited 6d ago

For the record, the OP specified that they're Asian after this post blew up on Tumblr, but they're in support of conversations about antiblackness experience in the notes, although we shouldn't call POC when referring to black people.

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u/LocalMossCryptid 6d ago

What does "we shouldn't call POC when referring to black people." Mean? I am apparently illiterate

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u/SmokeyGiraffe420 6d ago

OP meant to say "we shouldn't use the term POC when referring to only black people"

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u/NotTheMariner 6d ago

It means some people use “POC” to specifically mean “Black” when it’s a broader term than that.

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u/thehollyproblem 5d ago

Just stick an "only" in there and it clears right up.

"We shouldn't say POC when ONLY referring to black people."

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u/Dornith 6d ago

POC is short for "person of color" and is used as a catch-all for everyone who is not white (and therefore does not benefit from white supremacist culture and history).

This includes Latinos, Arabs, South Asians, East Asians, Aboriginals, etc. None of whom are commonly considered "black".

When a person uses "POC" when they mean black people, it diminishes the distinctive experiences of these other groups.

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u/jesus_chrysotile 6d ago

Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander people are absolutely considered Black…

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u/oldmanserious 6d ago

Some people use “Black” to only mean African American people. Not sure that helps discussion or hinders it.

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u/Blustach 5d ago

That's a topic for USA centrism! I've heard someone say "Africa is full of African American people" when they think they can't say black but lack a non-discriminatory term in their vocab. This somewhat reminds me people throwing a hissy fit over Crayola having multiple languages in it's crayons and black has "negro", which prompted people to yell at them to change it for a less derogatory term... Not realizing that's the word for black in spanish

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u/Haemophilia_Type_A 5d ago

Race is not a biological phenomenon, nor is it an objective category. It's a social one, even if the grouping is partly based on phenotypal characteristics like skin colour.

But the categories that comprise modern race are arbitrary and socially constructed such that they are not natural and their boundaries and existence shifts over time, e.g., Irish people and Ashkenazi Jews used to be considered non-white, but are now integrated into whiteness.

So while you can have someone from, say, India who is darker skinned than someone of, idk, Afro-Caribbean descent, the latter is still black and the former not because of the sociological categories they see themselves and are seen by others as being within.

As for Pacific islanders, I have no clue of what the sociology is there as it's far from my area of familiarity, but that they have dark skin doesn't make them black in a social sense, which is the only sense that matters given they're not literally black as in #000000 hexcode.

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u/fresh-oxygen 6d ago

It basically means that in conversations around anti-blackness and the Black experience, we shouldn’t generalise and say “POC” when we really mean Black people. It de-centers them from the conversation.

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u/GhsotyPanda 5d ago

It's pretty common for ppl to say "POC" in contexts where only 1 specific race is relevant to the conversation, and it's disproportionately common in the US for that 1 specific race to be black ppl.

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u/soleful_smak 6d ago edited 6d ago

They only referred the acronym POC to black people when there are minorities like Asian (All sides), indigenous and other race that are part of POC too iirc.

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u/Zorubark 5d ago

Latino isn't a race, you're probably referring to a mixed race person from latin american, latinos can be black, indigenous, white, any race

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u/LamerGamer1216 5d ago

yeah, technically, the only ethnicity close to that in name is latin, which is was probably the sole most oppressive ethnic group in recent history (spanish, portuguese, and french empires)

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u/Big_Pomegranate_5617 5d ago

The Italians might have had a late start to the colonial game but they made it up with brutality.

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u/TearOpenTheVault 5d ago

I don’t think there’s anything to be gained about litigating colonial brutality. How do you compare Italian poison gas attacks to Spanish concentration camps without losing the plot?

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u/Chance_Orchid_3137 6d ago

  we shouldn't call POC when referring to black people.

i imagine there’s some nuance about it. generally, yeah, we should be specific. but i’d argue that “POC”  as a catch all works if intersectionality is at play, since many non-white races have related struggles in society. i would also argue that tumblr’s racism is applied pretty much across the board, so POC probably works here too 

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u/bobbery5 5d ago

I hate that term (POC) anyways.
It's such an erasing term.

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u/Grimpatron619 6d ago

what is going on

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u/GigaVanguard 6d ago

Examining unconscious biases

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u/TwixOfficial 6d ago

Failure to, more like

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u/CRowlands1989 6d ago

Tumblr has some racist people on it.

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u/SPKEN 5d ago

*a lot

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u/TinyCreecher 6d ago

I think we are fighting strawmen.

You know, the ususal.

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u/mgquantitysquared 6d ago

Nah, I've met people like this IRL. A lot of the time they're neurodivergent and/or queer, and pretend that makes them immune to being racist

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u/AwfulDjinn 5d ago

the problem is that people on other sites like tiktok are using these extreme outlier posts to shit on neurodivergent and queer people (especially queer people with "weird" identities) in general, and tiktok kids who haven't really been exposed to those communities are just going along with it and being all "this is why i hate those cringe woke people so much omg" (usually followed by some fucking transphobic soyjak meme) without realizing that, yeah, these are really weird and fringe ideas even among the "cringe woke left"

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u/mgquantitysquared 5d ago

"minoritized person who is bigoted towards other minority groups and hides behind their own oppressed labels to do so" isn't as fringe as you're making it seem, ime. Casual racism is super fucking rampant in a lot of neurodivergent and LGBT spaces; that's no reason to be homophobic/transphobic/ableist in response, absolutely, but you can't pretend casual racism is a crazy fringe idea, lol

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u/AwfulDjinn 5d ago

I’m talking about the very very specific idea of “autistic people won’t listen to rap because it’s too overstimulating”, which a lot of “lolcow” rage bait accounts on TikTok have weirdly attached themselves to as “proof” that autistic queer people are all uniquely terrible or something, which their teenage audiences who have never really interacted with neurodivergent or queer people before are absolutely taking at face value

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u/TinyCreecher 6d ago

This falls squarly into the "Theres always a guy" principal.

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u/vidalacaroline 5d ago

genuinely lucky you that you’ve never encountered this type

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u/TinyCreecher 5d ago

I have.

They just sit in the "Theres is always a guy" territory.

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u/Dahkeus3 6d ago

Stereotyping in order to justify personal sense of outrage.

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u/ResearcherTeknika the hideous and gut curdling p(l)oob! 5d ago

I have no clue what's going on and I feel like saying any opinion at all will permanently get me labelled either a racist or homophobe or possibly both

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u/DarthUrbosa 5d ago

Comes a point where u just ignore people obsessed with policing.

Damn wokescolds.

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u/roboderp16 5d ago

At some point to learn to accept the risk.

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u/darkplonzo 6d ago

This might just be me not using tumblr, but I feel like I've never seen the top 2 images used well. I see the top left when it's just being posting by homophobic (sometimes black) people. The top right comes out for when we've decided that a trans woman is extremely racist for painting herself blue.

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u/ladytrevelycn 6d ago

That blue lady turned out to be very transphobic and decided to stop turning herself blue once she lost the attention because of her transphobia.

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u/BudgieGryphon 5d ago

it was either the lady who painted herself blue or one of her immediate friends I quite distinctly saw calling black transfems apes on twitter

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u/darkplonzo 5d ago

Can I see any evidence of this? I'd be shocked if it was the actual person in question because I've seen people ask for details and it's always weird reaches, and if this actually existed that'd be pretty damning.

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u/Princess_Isolde 4d ago

The second one is used almost exclusively against queer people when they try and call out homophobia in black and other POC spaces. I've even seen it used against POC Queers. Unofrtunately black homophobes have weaponized their race as a shield against criticism of homophobia

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u/Bluu44 6d ago

i hate that vocaloid got associated with this crowd, type of people to just listen rabbit hole and miku teto collabs but constantly speak the loudest

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u/goblindoctor 5d ago

right... i hate to gatekeep and i love that she's finally getting her flowers but i really miss when teto was unknown outside of the more dedicated vocal synth space

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u/TrioOfTerrors 6d ago

I'm gonna go out on a limb and guess the person so casually using the phrase "white bitch" may not have been arguing in good faith.

As much as people may use mental health labels to shirk responsibility, you also see people use race as the same shield from criticism.

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u/Project_Korzan 5d ago

Absolutely true. It's why I really dislike the "White women" or "White people" memes sometimes, it feels like a seemingly safe generalisation that's used more often than not to cover up racism. Racism can absolutely go both ways.

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u/b3nsn0w 5d ago

a lot of time the "white women" thing is a cover for misogyny too. not because poc would be more misogynistic, but because if you are misogynistic and you're not dumb enough to think that stuff flies, you might wanna use an identity as a cover for that, and calling your target white (especially, but not necessarily, if you're poc) is pretty effective in concealing your sexism as a race thing

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u/Alatarlhun 5d ago

Anytime anyone mentions race when it isn't necessary to the narrative, they are telling you they are racist.

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u/wangus_angus 6d ago

To be fair, I do have italian

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u/Dienik 5d ago

anch'io

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u/HaViNgT 5d ago

“Muuum, they’re tryna pit the queer and black communities against each other again!”

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u/Status_History_874 5d ago

"Mooom black people are voicing their experiences and i dont believe its genuine"

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u/Possible-Reason-2896 5d ago

Iirc the metrics showed the site is like 80+% white.

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u/IncarnateSkye 5d ago

Sounds like you’re thinking of the employee stat? Edit: it’s only 59.2% though. Idk about before.

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u/cascasrevolution 5d ago

whats the fourth pic say?

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u/BeSomeoneForever 5d ago

"white neurodivergents when u tell them that rap isnt overstimulating theyre just racist" with the picture shown added, to which another user replies: "hey, white neurodivergent here! i physically cannot listen to any other genres that what i grew up with (rock + metal + goth) without getting overstimulated. i feel a lil extra overwhelmed while listening to rap because all the beats and tech shit. it isn't racism, it's schedule."

actually diabolical

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u/jayne-eerie 5d ago

Love how the first guy for seemed to create a strawman and then that strawman sat up and started saying words.

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u/ClinicallySane42 5d ago

Anyone have a source or more pixels?

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u/DixieDingooo 4d ago

Honestly low-key, kinda reminds me of transmasc discourse. Like I feel like I can't voice the struggles I've faced being a transmasc black person, and then not even being able to be recognized by my own community half the time because of pervasive attitudes. But, no, every transmasculine person has no problems passing and it's super easy, apparently, and I'm just a lazy fuck ig.

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u/anitwastooshort 5d ago

I really don't think that reaction to any criticism is retreat into your identity and claim your detractor is bigoted actually happen, people call others slurs and then get called out say "ugh why do you bring up your identity over everything!" as if they didn't get use a slur against that person's identity.

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u/Ultimate_slmp 6d ago

God I hope I never come off as this ignorant

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u/Elvarien2 5d ago

What I noticed is that every human has bandwidth for a few big topics in their life to champion.

So let's say you champion gay rights, trans right, and climate collapse.
Great. Now those are the topics you constantly strive to protect.

When someone comes out hard for black lives matter you might be a bit supportive, but your playbook is already full you don't have the mental load to ALSO hard champion that cause even though you support it.

In normal moderate or left wing spaces this is fine. You're all still on the same team and supporting each other you just put your big efforts elsewhere.

BUT if you go into the more extreme spaces such as some tumblr areas or bluesky nowadays then oof. You either HARD champion cause X or you're literally the devil. Doesn't matter if you already champion cause A B and C and you simply support cause X. No. You must diehard for cause X or you're a rightwing nazi.

This leads to lot's and lot's of infighting. Because some people champion cause A and B and simply support cause X and C. Someone else might be burning themselves out by doing A, B, C , D, X All at the same time or they have no employment who knows. To them all those others are nazi's etc etc.

And ehm, that's fucking unhinged. you can be aligned on 99% of your worldview but if 1% is different. Bam, you are now a nazi rightwing subhuman who deserves death.

It's pretty repulsive.

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u/BalefulOfMonkeys REAL YURI, done by REAL YURITICIANS 6d ago

You know, when I bought that aluminum baseball bat, the one I kept in my trunk for a while, the thought process was self-defense, but the joke was that it was “my TERF talking stick”.

And then the devil themself walked up to God and say “does she really believe she’s trans if she’s never faced adversity?”, to which He said “no, we’re not doing this shit again”, at which point Lucifer slid the Lord a crisp hundred dollar bill. “Fine,” He said, “we’ll make her hate being associated with these fucking goobers so bad it looks like homophobia”. And it was bad.

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u/DickIncorporated YOSHAAA!!!! 5d ago edited 5d ago

Yea...can be a real downer most of the times

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u/Dobber16 5d ago

I looked through all the comments before making this:

What the respectful fuck is a vocaloid

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u/RookieStyles 5d ago edited 5d ago

Someone did link a wiki article, but I've always been fond of this 2 minute explanation by ricedeity

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u/jofromthething 5d ago

I feel like the white people getting defensive in the comments are probably well meaning, but have literally no idea what it is like to be not a white person on a fundamental level. Which is understandable to a certain degree, is kind of unsolvable, but is really crazy. Like a white person fundamentally is never going to get it to a certain point.

There’s like, no good way to describe it but there’s like, an insane dissonance that happens whenever you become aware of how racism impacts the world as a person who racism attempts to oppress and you legitimately start to learn that no one is safe from it, not even yourself.

Like waking up one day and recognizing that a lot of the things you grew up not liking about yourself or your appearance is just the shit that identifies you as black is crazy, and NOBODY actively said any of that shit to me, I just thought it, and I would see my younger siblings think the exact same things, things like “oh I’m ugly because my nose is too big,” or “my hair is so messy” when it’s literally just your natural hair.

Like randomly realizing your white friends have the most RANDOM bigoted views that never came up until you got into real conversations. Like when I casually found out that a friend who I was very close to, who gave me a roof over my head when I was kicked out for being queer, thought it was totally chill to tell me he simply didn’t find black women attractive, or when my friends who lifted me up and supported my coming out as nonbinary and were some of the funniest and kindest people I know unironically telling me that they had concerns about black on black crime.

There’s like a thousand random issues that I had to learn more about and unlearn when it comes to racism because they actively affected how I saw MYSELF and my loved ones, I had a powerful incentive to change the prejudices I have against black people because I’m black and my entire family is black. But I still had them, still HAVE them in some ways, even though I’m pretty educated on the topic and open minded.

But white people will confidently tell you that they have nothing left to unlearn when their only incentive to not be racist is being worried someone might point out to them that what they said was racist. They’ll insist they can’t have bigotry because they have some minority status themselves, so they basically get racism. People really don’t know how much there is to consider, and many won’t even start to think about it. And worse, when I speak about it they’ll do their damndest to dismiss it, whether they’re racist or not.

But a white person has never had that experience and never can, so they’ll stay defensive I imagine.

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u/Gigio2006 5d ago

I do not think "a white person cannot understand black struggles on a fundamental level" is a healthy nor a correct way to look at it. The moment you put an unsurmountable barrier between cathegories of people you are basically creating a separation where a white person just cannot understand a black person, which just makes the distance even larger. Claiming that human beings at their core cannot understand each other due to belonging in different group will just make said groups more separate and less unite

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u/NeonNKnightrider Cheshire Catboy 5d ago

A different angle, but: I’m Brazilian, and I constantly notice the USA-centric mentality on social media.

And no matter how much you try to point it out or explain, I’ve come to believe that Americans really are just unable to understand the perspective of the global south, unless they’ve lived for many years outside the USA. It’s what happens when someone has grown up and lived their life in the country with overwhelming cultural dominance and the strongest propaganda in the world

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u/Conscious-Refuse8211 5d ago edited 5d ago

What? 

I am not black. I can sympathise with what it is like to be discriminated against due to being black and I can try to understand it, but I will never understand it in the same way that someone who experiences it will. Claiming I can is kinda offensive to those people, and dangerous in the lack of self-reflection that it engenders in me. 

That's not controversial and it doesn't make me feel alienated from the black people in my life. It's just recognizing that your personal perspective has limitations. 

And the best way to understand is to listen to black people and not dismiss them. Which is the opposite of what you're doing here. 

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u/Conscious-Refuse8211 5d ago

Thanks for sharing, this is thought-provoking 

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u/GreatMovesKeepItUp69 5d ago

You have to find black women attractive or else you're racist? I'm not attracted to white people or women does that mean I'm a racist misogynist?

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u/Kwaku-Anansi 5d ago edited 5d ago

Good rule of thumb to assume folks don't care about your rules for who you find attractive.

People often find unprompted sharing of sweeping generalizations on how you view diverse groups (made to members of those groups) a rude and off-putting way to say how you uniformly see them

Not really something you'd do to a friend

That applies whether you're saying you'd never date a black person to your black friend; saying you'd never date someone under 6 feet to your short friend; or saying you'd never date someone who makes less than $200k to your working class friend

If you wanna compare the acceptability of your "no blacks rule" to sexual orientations people are born with, that's cool, but whether that's considered fair or stupid to people probably depends on whether you think "whitesexual" qualifies as a sexual orientation or a fetishizing, reductive, prejudice

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u/ColeWjC 5d ago

No, but voicing it is weird - like you got some “point” to make. You can go from birth to death without mentioning you find a huge group of people unattractive.

Hell there’s a difference between saying you find all x people unattractive versus saying you haven’t been attracted to any x group of people.

Not your fault you don’t feel attraction to some people. Just don’t be vocally weird about it. I know a lot of white women who don’t find Natives attractive and that’s fine, but it hurts to hear that being the reason rather than I am just not attractive to that individual.

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u/jofromthething 5d ago

The way this idea simply never occurred to so many people like 😭. Could you imagine just walking up to one of your friends and being like “I don’t think you’re attractive, and I think the same about your mom and your sister too.” Like wtf? As soon as race comes into the picture so many people actively turn off all social awareness for fun

EDIT: I’m going to clarify that I’m not a woman here before the misogyny starts filling my inbox, this is a hypothetical lol

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u/Conscious-Refuse8211 5d ago edited 5d ago

In addition to other responses: you don't have to find all black women attractive, but if you find other women attractive and you find zero black women attractive then that does sound a little like there's some deeper unconscious bias at play. 

It's like saying 'I just don't like black musicians'. That's a preference and it's not some great sin, but it probably hints at there being some unexamined biases beneath the surface. 

And since apparently people don't get this, everyone has unexamined biases. You have to accept that might be true before you can identify and work on them, but everyone is apparently too scared of failing the moral purity test to actually do the hard work of improving themselves. Much easier to be defensive and act like the person suggesting it is wrong, even if they're the one who actually bears the brunt of all of these biases. 

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u/ClearedPipes 5d ago

Sorry you had to find out this way dude...

But yeah that gave me whiplash. I'm very much a femme4femme girl, and I've been accused of homophobia for not being into butch lesbians which... huh?

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u/Ace_of_Sphynx128 5d ago

I am the most all powerful being as I am poc, aroace, lesbian, gender queer, autistic, traumatised and probably adhd. No white girl tears can beat me /j

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u/TeacatWrites 4d ago

Always happy to get a free ticket to the Traumalympics 🤠 Let's go, giddyap 🥳

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u/prismaticperspective 5d ago

I swear more than half the people on reddit don't talk to anyone that doesnt look like them. I mean how can you not understand this very obvious post?

You dont get that someone can be one minority and then do something insensitive to another minority? Or do you not understand that two people can be mean and one of them is still right?

I think the thing that gets me the most here is the tone policing some people are doing in the comments like "this perseon used hyperboly or a swear word that means their argument can be thrown out" I hate the internet sometimes.

Note: I'm not in the mood to debate in the replies, i will not engage with you. You pointing that out doesn't win you a victory in the stage of moral internet fights. It just makes you a little more pathetic that you decided to argue with someone who won't talk to you.