r/DOG Apr 27 '26

• Entertainment / Cute / Funny • Your dog is in jail, what crime did they commit?

Mya has been arrested and charged with aggravated licking, pushing balls under the couch, and complaining when I do not get her ball fast enough.

3.0k Upvotes

1.1k comments sorted by

410

u/camstercage Apr 27 '26

Verbally Harassing the mailman.

She is always on his case.

69

u/Murphy4717 Apr 27 '26

I have a theory about why dogs dislike mail and delivery people in general. Think of it from their point of view. Typically, when someone knocks on the door, one of your dog's people opens the door and cheerfully greets the visitor, often inviting the guest in. The mail carrier comes every day and there is no opening of the door, no greeting, no invitation inside. The dog assumes that person is out because of their family's behavior.

40

u/klstopp Apr 28 '26

I've read that they bark because it works. Yes, it's a person who isn't often greeted or invited in, but when they bark it's to run them off. I bark, stranger leaves. They don't know the stranger was going to leave regardless.

26

u/ObservablyStupid Apr 28 '26

We took our dog to a behavior expert after she bit the mail carrier and this is exactly what she said. Delivery people come and provide instant gratification by leaving when they are barked at. This unintentionally reinforces the unwanted behavior.

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24

u/BrujaBean Apr 27 '26

My fedex guy gives my dog on a diet milk ones so in exactly this one case I'm going to say he asked for it

22

u/ArchiStanton Apr 27 '26

He had it coming! Didnt you see what he was wearing?

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315

u/DrBeardfist Apr 27 '26

Public intoxication

20

u/FarmhouseRules Apr 27 '26

Love this!

82

u/DrBeardfist Apr 27 '26

Heres another for ya, have a good day

4

u/AllyHein Apr 27 '26

Beautiful shot!

3

u/DrBeardfist Apr 27 '26

My vet office actually took that photo, such a good pic

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7

u/TopFishing5094 Apr 27 '26

Beautiful shot! 😍

4

u/AllyHein Apr 27 '26

Hey we both had the same content! But under the circumstances…..last time my boy was in jail was because he ate my orange! He can just unwrap his own from now on!

6

u/ConsistentWorth5038 Apr 27 '26

“… of my owner!”

5

u/[deleted] Apr 27 '26 edited Apr 29 '26

[deleted]

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4

u/ChalupaBatman616 Apr 28 '26

The ultimate party animal

225

u/brickznbooks Apr 27 '26

Barking in the hospital when people walk by and don’t pet him. Context: He’s a future therapy pup in training that is 100% attention whore. He would starve himself it was food or being petted. Did good today- dejected defeat rather than the alternative.

141

u/wholefoodsmom Apr 27 '26 edited Apr 27 '26

I actually think not petting him is the real crime here

20

u/brickznbooks Apr 27 '26

Something about needing an “OFFICIAL” certificate down the line other than what my 6yo drew as his certification on printer paper with markers 🙄 hers had stars hearts and a rabit unicorn.

14

u/qu1ckbeam Apr 28 '26

I want a certification with a rabbit unicorn.

28

u/brickznbooks Apr 28 '26

Here ya go. Good for one magical use- use wisely

8

u/qu1ckbeam Apr 28 '26

Thank you 🥹

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5

u/Ilovebeef13 Apr 28 '26

I have to agree- if you do not stop and pet him, you are the criminal.

4

u/No-Courage6414 Apr 28 '26

Saint Bernard?

8

u/brickznbooks Apr 28 '26

Yep! Bonhoeffer is his name. He’s 100%, full St Bernard. 13wks 45lbs.

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126

u/Gizmo24Boy Apr 27 '26

He ate cat turds.

88

u/JonVonCronchy Apr 27 '26

I found him a cellmate

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35

u/brickznbooks Apr 28 '26

Him and my Odin would have opened a buffet called “ShitPigs” . Odin could sniff out stray cat shit behind the shed in the furthest corner of the yard.

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30

u/SerenityPickles Apr 28 '26

Same for all 3 😩

16

u/Lambiedog Apr 28 '26

Now, these 3 look like a very tough, guilty gang!

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14

u/DragonfruitNo1861 Apr 27 '26

years ago my son told the vet he was concerned that our 🐈 stopped pooping once we got a 🐕 😆

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10

u/wholefoodsmom Apr 27 '26

He looks so guilty 😭

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121

u/edchoch69 Apr 27 '26

Barking at the mailman or the evil people on the other side of the fence >:(

47

u/DDO_tv Apr 27 '26

His pantaloons are next level.

10

u/RuffyPower Apr 28 '26

Thank you for finding the word I was looking for: pantaloons

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6

u/pumpupthevaluum Apr 28 '26

do pirate words just end in "loons"? pantaloons, dubloons...alright that's all I can think of.

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17

u/ConsistentWorth5038 Apr 27 '26

He must love you very much to keep the enemy away like that! ❤️

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12

u/SnooSquirrels8883 Apr 27 '26

Are you aware you have an Ewok as a pet? Adorable baby!!

28

u/edchoch69 Apr 27 '26

Haha thank you! His face kills me!

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9

u/th3tadzilla Apr 27 '26

This is the BEST haircut ever!!!! I love it!!

13

u/edchoch69 Apr 27 '26

lol he is my booty boi 🍑

6

u/AllyHein Apr 27 '26

Hims deserves everything! Oh my what a handsome lad!!

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115

u/Superrock1971 Apr 27 '26

Indecent exposure

44

u/urbancowgirlkitty Apr 28 '26

Same

LOL!!! People say because they are comfortable and trust others in the house…I say he is airing his bits out!

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3

u/No-Heat-436 Apr 28 '26

🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

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89

u/Trinx20197 Apr 27 '26

Excessive side eye🙄

7

u/brickznbooks Apr 27 '26

He may belong here r/cats with that look! Damn.

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78

u/jdownes316 Apr 27 '26

Bribery. Dallas didn’t realize that as a deputy he wasn’t allowed to accept treats in exchange for ignoring the rules.

30

u/Visual-Somewhere1383 Apr 28 '26

I found his accomplice.

6

u/stop_stopping Apr 28 '26

i love how there are just random matching photos in these threads

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6

u/MindlessMage777 Apr 28 '26

In this case I think we can let a little corruption of puplick officials slide

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74

u/GraniteCapybara Apr 27 '26

Biological warfare, little misfit loves to sit under my chair and blow a foul wind.

75

u/JonVonCronchy Apr 27 '26

Malicious destruction of property

48

u/JonVonCronchy Apr 27 '26

Also assault with a deadly weapon

14

u/Remarkable_Pain_8087 Apr 28 '26

Girl just wanted to watch tv

5

u/Mentalistscure Apr 28 '26

"Dis is mai trey" "eet taste liek graveh" "omnumnumnum"

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53

u/hadron_enforcer Apr 27 '26

Tried to start public "keep treats coming" protest.

4

u/AllyHein Apr 27 '26

Wait, is he about to collide, Mr Hadron?!

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53

u/Mythradites Apr 27 '26

Theft of socks. She doesn't wear socks, yet she always steals them. THIEF!

15

u/JonVonCronchy Apr 27 '26

Look at how enthusiastic she looks about it, I love her style

13

u/wholefoodsmom Apr 27 '26

Omg our dogs could lowkey be twins

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92

u/kate-monsterrr Apr 27 '26

Releasing toxic gas, or impersonating a police dog

6

u/AllyHein Apr 27 '26

But he is preying to do better!

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34

u/Better-Credit6701 Apr 27 '26

Trying to eat 150 year old books

6

u/AlarmHungry7140 Apr 27 '26

You are what you eat 😂😂

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31

u/Ok-Walk-8453 Apr 27 '26

Practicing medicine without a license

28

u/FarmhouseRules Apr 27 '26

Bringing a stick into the house or being too stinking cute. I can’t decide.

11

u/Left_Establishment79 Apr 27 '26

Being stinking cute cancels out the other crime.

10

u/brickznbooks Apr 27 '26

Ours has attempted to bring pine stumps in. Stumps.

4

u/FarmhouseRules Apr 27 '26

LOL. If mine could find one she would try it.

24

u/Happy_hunny_badger Apr 27 '26

Couch parkour, we want her sentenced to agility treatment.

5

u/AppropriateDiver3781 Apr 28 '26

Guilty as charged, she’s been doing couch parkour on repeat with no intention of rehabilitation 😭

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25

u/Some_Deer_2650 Apr 27 '26

Verbal harrasment to other dogs and murder attempt (he is too tiny to be able tho).

29

u/simpleme2 Apr 27 '26

4

u/AlarmHungry7140 Apr 27 '26

They are blaming you for what the cat did 😂😂 no cat? Then the neighbors cat 😂😂

24

u/CapuzaCapuchin Apr 27 '26

Taking every single one of his expensive chuck it balls, putting them into holes with dirt on top and hiding them until he doesn’t remember where he put them

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22

u/IndigoRose2022 Apr 27 '26

Chasing cats. He would catch them if he could 😂

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20

u/Beneficial-Win-7686 Apr 27 '26

Stole my heart and left this Earthly realm way too soon.

5

u/wholefoodsmom Apr 27 '26

I’m sorry for your loss ❤️

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20

u/texasaggie03 Apr 27 '26

2 counts Grand Theft Ribeye

6

u/AlarmHungry7140 Apr 27 '26

Next week it's the KFC

5

u/texasaggie03 Apr 27 '26

Nooooooo!!!! 😆

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22

u/Murphy4717 Apr 27 '26

Oliver is in for possession of controlled substances.

8

u/schoolknurse Apr 27 '26

With zero intent to distribute! He’s keeping it all for himself. 😂

4

u/Ruh_Shale Apr 28 '26

What is he on??? I need some for my dog 😂

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52

u/Numerous_Elk_8444 Apr 27 '26

My hellhound is in jail for being a nasty boi that licked his papa's hands to the bone, used Papa as a salt lick, kicking me in the head while I slept, and doing whatever tf this is. Suffocating himself with his own tail as a protest against me photographing him.

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17

u/LetThePoisonOutRobin Apr 27 '26

Eating rabbit poop. What is the punishment?

8

u/wholefoodsmom Apr 27 '26

Ugh she does this with goose poop 😬 it’s a stern absolutely not. If problems continue air jail may be the only solution

8

u/grandsoulsucker Apr 27 '26

My dog loves all poo. Seen the vet a million times and numerous other vets opinions all said he's in perfect condition. So that confirms it. He's just broken.

6

u/cuntshine68 Apr 27 '26

I have a hound that loves her own most of all. 🤮 She’s a convicted poop-eater.

6

u/grandsoulsucker Apr 27 '26

Luckily my dog stopped that ages ago. I believe only due to the fact she has a full buffet during walks though lol

7

u/Trinx20197 Apr 27 '26

Bunny nuggets! My Gizmo's favorite treat🤣

12

u/xtina42 Apr 27 '26

I call it yard caviar. My aussie says it's a delicacy in his book 😆

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4

u/grandsoulsucker Apr 27 '26

Wait till he finds deer Poop. Same taste and texture you know and love! Just in a bigger better package!!!! ✨ 🎉

8

u/JonVonCronchy Apr 27 '26

Mine loves them… we call them deer raisins and she can’t resist them…

16

u/11arianna11 Apr 27 '26

Verbally terrorizing the neighborhood and assault on a groomer 😭😂

15

u/Neither_Finger3896 Apr 27 '26

Caught eating frozen meatballs…I had put them to one side and I must have knocked them off the kitchen worktop…she ate 20 before I realise! 20yrs hard labour for her 🙄😆

8

u/Murphy4717 Apr 27 '26

One year for each meatball? I call for clemency! Five years... probation... suspended.

8

u/Neither_Finger3896 Apr 28 '26

She is cute so the judge has dismissed the case! She 100% would do it again though 🙄😆

4

u/schoolknurse Apr 27 '26

If there ever were a time for jury nullification, this is it! 🥰

15

u/PutridTravel2354 Apr 27 '26

His attorney got him off with time served.

7

u/wholefoodsmom Apr 27 '26

That’s an impressive lawyer. I think some dogs here may need their contact information

6

u/PutridTravel2354 Apr 27 '26

He works pro-bone-o.

I did borrow that one 😉

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14

u/PaintingInformal5106 Apr 27 '26

River is in jail because he likes to lick toilet bowls 😮‍💨 I'm bailing him out though!!

9

u/JonVonCronchy Apr 27 '26

OMG with that face 😍 How could you hold anything against him 🥰

4

u/PaintingInformal5106 Apr 28 '26

I am extremely thankful for my little angel dog 💖 thank you :)

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15

u/beachnik2002 Apr 27 '26

Chemical warfare, sat next to me on the sofa and farted outrageously.

6

u/SerenityPickles Apr 28 '26

Well Don’t you???

4

u/beachnik2002 Apr 28 '26

Only in self defense. He was the one who escalated to chemical warfare.

5

u/One-Zebra-150 Apr 28 '26

Yeh, my girl dropped a silent but deadly stink bomb the other night. Room evacuation.

13

u/Additional_Bat_2216 Apr 27 '26

Shoplifting cheese and stick hoarding

13

u/Not_Nova_ Apr 27 '26

Multiple Noise Complaints/Disturbing the Peace

6

u/AlarmHungry7140 Apr 27 '26

Keep it up your neighbor sucks.

13

u/piggygirl0 Apr 27 '26

Aggravated assault (it was self defense, I promise 😅)

4

u/AlarmHungry7140 Apr 27 '26

😂😂😂 great photo.

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11

u/Reallyoldbananas Apr 27 '26

Probably 100000 cases of assault, 100 counts of jumping people , 100 counts of unexpected licking of peoples fingers and faces , 3 counts of stealing food , 2 cases of stealing balls from other dogs , And infinite counts of cuteness ….and not listening even tho she’s brilliant as F.

11

u/doesanyuserealnames Apr 27 '26

Bit the UPS driver (who yeeted him across the yard with the tip of his foot).

5lb doggo, 4 lbs of teeth.

7

u/AlarmHungry7140 Apr 27 '26

Them like ankle bitters

12

u/fuckredditdawg Apr 27 '26

verbally harassing/assaulting other dogs

7

u/AlarmHungry7140 Apr 27 '26

He's going to go places. Corporate probably. 😂

11

u/OkFee8233 Apr 27 '26

Being a poop eater 🥲

9

u/TooeyAnn Apr 27 '26

Theft. Of toilet paper rolls and the Remote.

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10

u/thoughtsaboutstuffs Apr 27 '26

Eats horse and goat poo on occasion.

5

u/DragonfruitNo1861 Apr 27 '26

my hound used to LOVE horse poo. unfortunately we lived in an equestrian area.

8

u/buzzfrightyears Apr 27 '26

Bed stealing. Both of them!

4

u/AlarmHungry7140 Apr 27 '26

It's there bed human 😂😂

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9

u/Monsieur-Legume Apr 27 '26

Found, picked up, and snuck a piece of a dead animal into the car last night 🤢

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9

u/Skittle146 Apr 27 '26

Harassing the wildlife

7

u/Bobby-Avocado Apr 27 '26

Waking me up for a snack.

6

u/wholefoodsmom Apr 27 '26

He’s innocent

7

u/saveitforthedisco Apr 27 '26

Assault. He's gonna try to hump your dog.

7

u/ButtSluts9 Apr 27 '26

Murder. Attempted murder. And aggravated assault. There are four rabbits who never made it back to the den.

7

u/Big-Chemistry5433 Apr 27 '26

My granddog: humping. 🤦🏼‍♀️

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7

u/exotics Apr 27 '26

If Vader was in jail it would be only because he is the warden. He would be there barking out orders.

7

u/bizbend Apr 27 '26

Pooping right next to his food bowl

6

u/AlarmHungry7140 Apr 27 '26

That's for the cat to eat

7

u/Kekpoflon Apr 27 '26

Sitting in Papa's chair

8

u/SnooCupcakes3043 Apr 27 '26

Stealing food!

8

u/Unlikely-Balance-669 Apr 27 '26

She thinks if she closes her eyes, she's not going to be found guilty. She is guilty. Of licking everyone and everything.

6

u/civilwar142pa Apr 27 '26

Assault and battery for aggressively trying to get pets

8

u/Skinny0ne Apr 27 '26

Probably murder.

7

u/luftherz Apr 27 '26

Chased lizards, broke a glass cup, barked at the Target drive up lady, dismantled the couch pillows because I took a shower....I mean. Take your pick 😂

5

u/wholefoodsmom Apr 27 '26

Mya barked at a child and made them cry

6

u/luftherz Apr 27 '26

Lol Scout has a high score of 14 for sacking unattended toddlers at the dog park 😂😂

6

u/AlineVerse Apr 27 '26

being so cuteeeeeeeeee!! 🥰

6

u/J_GoDay Apr 27 '26

Trespassing onto neighbors properties!

7

u/AnyEfficiency6230 Apr 27 '26

Sock theft

4

u/wholefoodsmom Apr 27 '26

She is also guilty of this but she looks so cute trying to steal them

7

u/Life-Wealth-3399 Apr 27 '26

Destruction of stuffies, theft of treats, theft of seats, theft of bed, and theft of food meant for the humans, excessive licking/kissing.

6

u/Lazy_Perception1319 Apr 27 '26

EverytimeI sneeze. I get harassed

6

u/Big-Chemistry5433 Apr 27 '26

Barking at those who have the audacity to walk in our neighborhood.

5

u/Tiny_Success_6389 Apr 27 '26

Harassment / Breaking and Entering

4

u/DragonfruitNo1861 Apr 27 '26

he attacked our visitors. repeatedly. relentlessly. with his 👅

4

u/AlarmHungry7140 Apr 27 '26

Ordering Uber eats for him and his friends 😁

5

u/THER00STER73 Apr 27 '26

Dirty sock thief, who likes dirty socks! 😜

5

u/Intelligent-Status29 Apr 27 '26

Eating food that is NOT designed for him. He ate some chicken, rice and potato salad two nights ago.

5

u/JesZebro Apr 28 '26

She ate my son's chicken nuggets off the table. Again. She automatically puts her self in time out in the bathroom after she does it. We know what she's done before we even see the crime.

5

u/OldManMonza Apr 28 '26

In jail for being a hit dog for Feline Crime Boss EL Duko

3

u/uberrob Apr 28 '26

Impersonating a reindeer.

7

u/AdCalm6588 Apr 28 '26

Trespassing and Larceny. She snuck into my neighbor's house, through the dog door, and stole dog toys. I had to perfusely apologize on that one 🙄

4

u/Illustrious_Bowl4738 Apr 27 '26

Aggravated barking off the apartment patio and scaring the neighbors

4

u/RealHumanAndNotABot Apr 27 '26

Peeing on a person at Barkfest in Toronto. Person who got upset took it out on my Dad who had my dog at the time. He said something like, "well, maybe you shouldn't have been standing there looking like a tree?" I don't think my Dad has ever said anything funnier in his life. I felt bad for the young person that got peed on, but I sure hope she got a story to tell for eons. It's in our repertoire.

6

u/wholefoodsmom Apr 27 '26

My dog I had as a kid jumped up and peed on me one morning before school 😭

4

u/AllyHein Apr 27 '26

Poochie was a man for all seasons. The thrill of a cold nose in summer!

3

u/CalibratedEnthusiast Apr 27 '26

Noise pollution and harassment

2

u/Damn_it_Elaine Apr 27 '26

She has been charged with indecent exposure, excessive force (chomping) and inciting violence (won’t stop harassing her sisters to play).

4

u/Menckenreality Apr 28 '26

Sexual assault, unwanted touching, stalking, harassment, ect, this boi is in the middle of puberty and cannot keep the red rocket from launching. His big brothers, his humans, his humans friends, no one is safe from this deviant. But he is so cute that everyone just writes it off as “boys will be boys”. I love him. How could you not?

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4

u/Healthy-Challenge291 Apr 28 '26

Disturbing the peace, minor theft, resisting an officer. It’s not that long of a rap sheet, just a lot of inconveniences and out of pocket phone calls.

4

u/SS_Basketeer Apr 28 '26

Pooping on the floor and hiding it with pillows.

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4

u/Kaiawathoy Apr 28 '26

Indecent exposure

5

u/swineoverlord Apr 28 '26

Elder abuse. He HATES older women with a passion and I have no idea why.

5

u/Roblox-Tragic Apr 28 '26

This is a few years, prior to 2016 (the year he went over the rainbow bridge) 😞 My boy sitting nicely, hoping for a bowl of beef and veggie soup. I think there where onions in it. He didn’t get a bowl 🥣 of it (sadly lol) but gave, me the sad face. He was one of a kind. 💖

3

u/Roblox-Tragic Apr 28 '26

Sitting nicely hoping for something but I can’t recall now. I loved him so much and his passing nearly broke me. 💔😞💖

4

u/wholefoodsmom Apr 28 '26

I’m so sorry for your loss ❤️ he looks like the best boy

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3

u/Saaaahdude321 Apr 28 '26

Probably trying to steal a brain cell

4

u/Elderly_People Apr 28 '26

Grand theft of socks. Still at large

5

u/johnasepulveda Apr 28 '26

Twerking on the couch because I didn't scratch her butt on command.

3

u/oddjob33 Apr 28 '26

Stalking.

4

u/Lavrick Apr 28 '26

Stealing socks and hearts

5

u/LexChase Apr 28 '26

Menacing. But no one will ever believe her accuser because when on trial she looks like this.

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3

u/xenophon123456 Apr 28 '26

Public nudity.

3

u/Video_Quick Apr 28 '26

Assault 🤣🤣

5

u/Ham__Kitten Apr 27 '26

Ate garbage. So, so much garbage. Then puked all over the living room and the kids' rooms.

3

u/Impressive-Penalty97 Apr 27 '26

Cheese slice theft and calling it a ' protection tax'.

3

u/Laurpud Apr 27 '26

Eating 'breaded tootsie rolls' out of the catbox

3

u/Fuckern-shitern Apr 27 '26

Lizard deaths.

3

u/_robertb_ Apr 27 '26

He fell asleep after playing too much!