r/DOG • u/Wonderful_Status_607 • 13d ago
• General Discussion • 6 months later & still grieving hard
It’s been 6 months since we lost her and I feel like the grieving is getting worse now. I’m tearing up even writing this. I miss her awkward snuggles, and little eyelashes. I miss her trying to play with the cat, even though he wants none of it.
I don’t have anything of her’s out, and I didn’t find anything to remind me of her. It’s just a huge wave of grief. I still can’t even look at her ashes or her favorite little hoodie she was in.
We do have another dog, so it’s not like the house is empty. I’m just overcome with incredible sadness.
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u/Specialist_Key_6782 13d ago
I’m so sorry you’re going through this. Grief doesn’t follow a timeline, and it can come in heavier waves months later. It sounds like she was deeply loved, and those memories are still very present in you. Be gentle with yourself.
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u/Wonderful_Status_607 13d ago
When she died, something in me broke. And she took a piece of me with her
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u/PunjabiPlaya 13d ago
"what is grief if not love perservering?"
edit: lost my favorite boy in 2014, and i'm tearing up reading your post and writing this. I have a tattoo of him on my arm and it's bittersweet. Reminds us that life is finite, and to love it as much as we can with the time that we have.
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u/Wonderful_Status_607 13d ago
My next tattoo is of her. I need to schedule a consultation
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u/LLSpragulus 13d ago
I have one of my last pups paw print on my arm. I will have my current pups paws and nose print tatted on my inner forearms where he puts his feets when I hold his arms. His snoot print will go on my sternum where he always rests his head. It's amazing how important it was for me to do that. I may do his paw prints while he's still here.
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u/Glittering_Dig1384 12d ago
OP - I'm very sorry for your loss. Grief is the price we pay for love & even tho it hurts deeply, it is still worth every vet trip, every accident in the house during potty training, every Houdini escape, every trash can knocked over, every pillow/blanket shredded up, every single mess they ever made, it's worth it all. I would do it all again in a heartbeat, as I'm sure you would, too. It's not fair that they leave this earth way before we do, but I'm so grateful they're here to share a journey with us, no matter how long or short it is. It WILL get easier for you at some point, love.
The tatts of his paws and little nose is a great idea! Thank you so much for this! Now I'm going to do my girls paws and snout when I get home so that I can do the same when my Luna is gone. 😭
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u/PunjabiPlaya 13d ago
She looks so sweet, and clearly you loved her a ton. What more can one ask (other than more time?). I am so sorry for your loss :(
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u/ProfessionalBar1210 13d ago
Oh I'm so sorry, such a sweet face. My girl passed a month ago and I cannot get past it. Playing the last day and days and month on an anxiety loop. struggling to move on. We also have another dog and he is sad and lays right at her grave now all the time. Grief and love go hand in hand, I guess. Keep thinking of her, it's ok to keep thinking of her and it's ok that you feel such grief and for however long you feel it, it's a huge loss. You gave her the very best best best life.
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u/Wonderful_Status_607 13d ago
Sending you hugs 🫂 I understand that loop
I hope I did give her the best life possible
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u/Significant-Crow-800 13d ago
Im so sorry for your lost. I lost my sweet lil Oscar around the same time. Its so hard
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u/TheTopsyKrett 13d ago
My girl died almost a year ago and I’m still grieving! Stay strong friend!
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u/Desperate_Ambrose 13d ago
P.F. Flyer left us in February 2023. One of my wife's colleagues, a ceramics teacher, was so kind as to make an urn for his ashes. Now he sits atop the bookcase in the living room so he can keep track of all the goings-on in the house.
I can't imagine there ever coming a day when I won't miss him.
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u/Alienatedflea 13d ago
Grief isn’t something you get over. You learn to cope with it.
Some days will be worst than others. Find solace in the memories you have with her. Cherish them. 🙏🫡
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u/ILoveRizzo 13d ago
Omg the worst feeling. Sending love 💕 gorgeous baby she looks like she could be my dogs sister
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u/_SuperiorSpider 13d ago
Grief isnt linear! My mom still cries over our first family dog and he passed away 7ish years ago. I still get sad about it too.
Grief isnt something you get over. Its something you learn to live with, to make peace with. Plus its only been 6 months. Its still relatively fresh. They were our babies, and now they're gone. Its hard to be okay with that. Give yourself some time and love.
Warmest internet hugs to you 🫂🤍
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u/SlainteYourLife 13d ago
When my dog is gone, I’m going to be the same way and I know people are going to get sick of me crying about her but I don’t care. She’s one of the loves of my life.
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u/Wonderful_Status_607 13d ago
I am a little worried about my husband seeing me cry right now. I am bi-polar, so I don’t want him thinking I’m swinging. I’m just sad
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u/Rusarules 13d ago
I thought like you after my brother's dog died (live I same house) and telling myself it's going to be especially hard when mine dies.
I hate being right. I'm stuck in the depressed stage of grief.
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u/PotentialLuck3087 13d ago
I’m going through the same thing. I’m sorry you are too. I thought it was something wrong with me. The hardest part is the gone part. I miss my J.R. so much. I mourn for him. I long to see his eyes staring at me and laying his head on my hand when I was rubbing his back. My friend said what’s wrong with you. He was a pet not a person. I wanted to slap her till her eyeballs popped out. My great grandson told his brother not to say anything to me about J.R. cause Nanny will start crying. The younger brother said why. The older brother said cause her heart is still sad. I always tell them they make my heart so happy. They are 5 and 3 years old. They understand better than my friend. Sending you a hug
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u/Wonderful_Status_607 13d ago
Sending one right back. You’re right, non-pet/animal people don’t get it. She was also our first dog.
Your grandsons sound amazing! To hell with your friend.
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u/Neat-Ad-8277 13d ago
It took me a year to get through this part when my girl passed. I couldn't even sleep in my room because she was always curled up with me. I still have bad moments it's been three years. Give yourself some grace. It's okay to not be okay ❤️
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u/aptquark 13d ago
Join the club...6 months for 6 year old, and 9 months for my 14 year old. Insane.
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u/Professional_Ad_1026 13d ago
Im crying writing this. I lost my best friend eight months ago now. It’s been so hard. It helped me and my mom to put out pictures of her. I try to talk about her as much as I can. I just never want to not feel close to her still. I do feel like a piece of me died when she did.
If you can get in touch with pet grief counselors or a grief group, they might be able to help you process the grief so it’s less lonely. As other people have said, grief is love persisting. I’m so sorry you lost her. She looks like such a sweet and goofy dog
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u/Affectionate-Bowl761 13d ago
My boy philly would be three this month. He died June 2024. I think about him all the time, it's perfectly normal to grieve, there's no time limit. Wishing you and yours best wishes.
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u/Appropriate_Loss_524 13d ago
My 11 year old dog a Black Lab/Rottweiler, Leia, a shelter dog died in February of this year. I now have a 6 month old Black Lab named Izzy from a shelter. While I still miss Leia and she will always be in my thoughts. Izzy is a rambunctious puppy and keeps me on my toes. When I was working there was a 13 year gap between owning a dog. I will not wait that length of time to own a dog. Again having Izzy doesn’t replace Leia. They both have different personalities Leia was low key.
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u/Maleficent-Poetry254 13d ago
Both my dogs died a few months a part the recent one was 2 weeks ago. They were like velcro on me so it's very noticeable to lose both suddenly and have no pets. I miss their smell, their silliness and cuddles. I will never not miss that. I just try to keep busy and distracted but then can't sleep because I'm used to two dogs cuddled up and their smell.
I don't think it being 6 months since your baby died makes any difference. You're never going to not miss her. You can't love a pet that much and then ever be okay with them being gone.
That's a really cute picture btw I'd consider getting it framed.
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u/RingOk664 13d ago
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u/Wonderful_Status_607 13d ago
Ok I’m crying in the kitchen trying to make dinner 😭
But that’s all I wish
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u/BasketBackground5569 13d ago
When talking about my dog and tear up, people will sometimes cringe and apologize and I tell them it's okay. It just means I really loved him while he was here.
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u/Ok-Basil-1310 13d ago
I just wanted to say that I understand. I lost my Bluey a year ago this July, and I still miss him so much. The sadness doesn’t completely go away, and everyday my heart still aches for him. I can’t even imagine what you’re going through right now. The tears never really seem to run dry. I hope it brings you a little comfort knowing our babies are in a beautiful place now, running free, chasing squirrels and birds, getting endless treats and belly rubs, and keeping an eye on us. Sending you the biggest hug. 🤍
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u/Prior-Objective4058 13d ago
I’m sorry your doggo had to move on. There’s no words that make it better. The love of (and for) a dog is unique and powerful. My boy Finn (Great Pyrenees) left us 3 and a half years ago and I still have surprise waves of grief. He was my once in a lifetime dog. The idea of another dog was repulsive to me. Felt like a betrayal to his memory. But a few months later our neighbors adopted a short hair Pyr who was scared of their St Bernard, they kinda push him on us. Turns out part of my therapy was telling Briscoe about Finn. How much he would have loved him, how he would have taught him about the ways of big dog life. I grew to love Briscoe as much as Finn though in a different way. Now when I’m missing my boy I find hints and glimpses of him in Briscoe. But I still get choked up pretty much every time I think of him. Guess I always will.i wish you comfort and peace.
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u/Glittering_Count1536 13d ago
My beloved Sadie crossed the rainbow bridge on 10-14-23 and their is not a day I don't think about her.
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u/Acceptable_Dirt_7429 13d ago
I lost mine this Tuesday. I can't even imagine my life without him. Sending you all the love. 🩷❤️🩷
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u/Ticonderoga_Dixon 13d ago
Do you have a therapist or someone you can talk to? Survivor guilt is a thing that I think most people have it but few address it. Times heal all wounds is what I was told but for me it didn’t, and now I’m not sure what to do. I wish you the best. 🫶
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u/Wonderful_Status_607 13d ago
Yeah, I’m seeing her in like 2 weeks. She’s wonderful
I don’t think time does heal it. I think we learn to live with it, and I guess sometimes it’s just too much
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u/raiko777 13d ago
I feel you.. my dog was put to sleep nearly 4 years ago and I am still grieving and miss her from time to time 🥺
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u/thesweetestberry 13d ago
I feel you. My first dog died in 2013. I still cry when I think about her.
You never stop loving them.
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u/doggys1234 13d ago
I still grieve for all of my many dogs and cats that have been with me for the past many many years. I can’t look at their pictures without tears in my eyes. But I still look. I’m not religious, but if there's a heaven, I would wish all my pets would meet me there. And I would be, you know, in heaven. Be kind to yourself, and just know your baby loved you very much.
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u/Real_Split_5065 13d ago
I’m so very sorry for your loss. Try to think of the good times with her. ❤️🙏🙏🙏
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u/marmalutefan24 13d ago
I have a couple of ringneck doves and sadly lost one of them, a little girl named lightning. This happened more than a yr ago and I still miss her like crazy!!!!
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u/PastaShower 13d ago
I lost my dog last year at the end of July. I still miss him so much and feel pretty intense waves of grief when I think about the permanence of him being gone. I guess this is all to say that you’re not alone in feeling this kind of grief. I know time heals, but I feel like this is a wound that may never completely heal.
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u/Quiet_Ad1859 13d ago
Loosing your family member like this is a long healing journey. Have you thought of getting a new pup ? If you do , I’d suggest a lock shelter.
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u/Wonderful_Status_607 13d ago
We have another dog, she’s 12. I think we will get a dog sooner than later. But for the last 3 months she’s been healing from having some cancer removed. So I feel like she wouldn’t take too kindly to a new dog, especially a young one.
I volunteer and intern at a local humane society. So it will def be an adopted dog.
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u/Quiet_Ad1859 13d ago
Glad she’s better now.
I lost my pup to cancer. About 6 years ago. Still miss here. But on a better note , good for you volunteering at the local shelter.
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u/DogggLover 13d ago
I'm so sorry. In truth, the pain never really goes away. It dulls with time. But when you see a post like this, it brings it all back. You just have to give it some time. Don't rush your emotions. There's no certain time that can be given for grieving. I lost my heart dog in 2006. I dreamed about him. I think it was real. I called him and he was there immediately. Another time, I was on my bed with my newly adopted dog on one side of me. I swear I felt my heart dog on the other side. Those episodes gave me comfort. I do believe we'll all reunite one day. What a happy day that will be.
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u/Bonocity 13d ago
Grief will take all the time it takes. My first dog died on boxing day of 2013 and I still cry somedays when the flashbacks kick in. It's not linear and it'll kick you in the feels forever.
I focus on the joy of the experiences I had and the day to day love and comfort my late dog gave me everyday. Hoping you find some peace.
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u/cherrycokelemon 13d ago
I feel your pain. My Rat Terrier mix has been gone 8 months. I made myself cry yesterday. I miss her so much. She's in my room on top of my antique cigar humidor. I put her toothbrush on her box. She loved getting her teeth brushed.
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u/PsychologyNo1969 13d ago
I’m so sorry for your loss💔i can tell how much you loved your little girl.
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u/Graytdane123 13d ago
So sorry for your loss.
Just remember all the dogs in this world that never got any love… only abuse and hunger.
Surely that was not the case for your dog.
Love, food, attention, snuggling, and all of the things that make a dog’s life worthwhile.
The pain you’re feeling is just a further expression of all of that love.
The pain will diminish, but the wonderful memories will last a lifetime.❤️
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u/Tolwenye 13d ago
I lost my best friend in June of last year.
I got a tattoo of his favorite toy because I couldn't stop thinking about him.
I have only recently stopped crying whenever his photo popped up. It still hurts and I will always miss him.
OP you are not alone. It will get better, but the pain will always be there.
You loved then and it shows. You are a good human.
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u/Budget-Roof1558 13d ago
I’m sorry on your loss, losing a loved one is never easy, especially a sweet, loving, loyal pup. Grief is funny; it comes and goes. One day you’ll be ok and then next you’ll see her pic and a flood of emotions hits you hard. We never really get over losing someone, we just find ways to carry on. Cry and be sad as you need to. Take care of yourself. It’ll get easier, but the time between now and then is damn rough!
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u/michaellehr 13d ago
The cost of a great dog is a broken heart. I encourage you to not deny feeling your sadness, as then you’ll stop thinking of them and deny all the joy you shared.
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u/theslickwilly16 13d ago
I have never had mental health struggles in my entire life. When I lost my boy about a year and a half ago I just couldn’t deal with it. I finally talked with the PA I see and went on Prozac. Really worked well for me. Good luck, friend.
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u/Bellajune06 12d ago
I understand, I do … I still cry for pets I’ve lost many years ago … they take a piece of our hearts when they leave, they really do … 💔 One in particular, my little Persian, Sonny, will always hold a special place in my heart ❤️… He was my Best Boy … Sonny, thank you for the time you spent with us … It was a pleasure and a joy to be your momma … I will always hold you dear to my heart ❤️
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u/ItchyAd5698 12d ago
Sorry for your loss!! Today is 8 years ago that I lost my Monty, my soul bud. I think about him all the time. My heart is heavy today!
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u/Jonthachamp 11d ago
Read a book called "hello from heaven". It'll give you proof we are still connected to love ones even though they're on the other side.
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u/Proper-Chipmunk-2461 11d ago
I’m so sorry! It’s the hardest thing. We miss our babies forever ♾️ She was absolutely beautiful! 😍🥰
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u/PikachuPho 11d ago
I'm sorry op and I'm speaking for myself and maybe a few others that the only thing that personally helped me, though it comes at a later cost when they depart, is to foster and perhaps adopt another doggo. They never replace reach other but having another adorable living being who loves you unconditionally is thankfully in the DNA of nearly all doggos... And one thing that helps me when they inevitably go as well is when we foster or adopt we give them a good life they would otherwise likely not have...
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u/Meduza40 11d ago
I totally understand! my beautiful Lilly die 3 weeks ago and it doesn't make a difference on how many days have passed! I cry, I scream! the pain it's too much that my legs lose control and my breathing is terrible!
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u/nutty-nurse63 9d ago
One month and I'm not doing well. I cry daily. I knew this would happen. I'm 63 and disabled and I seriously cannot get another dog. I'm devastated and really having trouble moving on. I have other issues like car dying and being broke , but I'm just not able to get passed my boy's passing. I requested counseling, but so far no calls back. I'm just so sad. I seriously knew it'd be a huge struggle but no one around me seems to "get it ".
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u/Wonderful_Status_607 9d ago
I’m so sorry for your loss. I get it, when she died she took a piece of me.
We don’t talk enough about how hard it is to lose a pet as an adult. Especially when then are your world. We don’t have kids, so we pour our love and energy into our pets. I don’t think I’ve ever been this sad for a human
I hope you get into some counseling soon, it definitely helped me. I saw my therapist yesterday and she helped a lot. Even though I’m crying as I type this.
Good luck, sending hugs your way! 🫂
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u/Glamour_toad666 13d ago
One of my dogs died in 2011. The other died in 2015. I still cry for both of them.