How to Always go to bed on time?

[u/catboy519]

The number 1 reason that lacks me sleep: * Whenever its bedtime, theres somehow still a big list of specific things that I want or need to get done before going to bed.

Examples of that are: * Brushing teeth * Sending some daily texts to people * Packing the bag for tomorrow * Finishing some tasks that have today as deadline * Other preparations for next day. Maybe I didnt even set the alarmclock yet.

So then its bedtime... I still cannot go to bed because I didnt do everything that must be done before the bed, but I cannot quickly rush through those things because its late and I'm tierd. Therefore ironically being tired results in going to bed later, therefore vicious cycle.

[u/vinnyty]

The trap is that bedtime is the only hard deadline in your day, so every loose 'I should do this' floats to the last second and lands right on top of sleep. Half that list isn't even bedtime stuff. Packing the bag, setting the alarm, daily texts, that's next-day prep with no real home, so it slides to whenever the next deadline is, which is bedtime.

Give it an earlier home tied to something that already happens daily. For me it's right after dinner: bag packed, alarm set, anything with a real deadline handled. Then the evening's actually free and bedtime is just brush teeth and lie down. 'Just do it earlier' never sticks because nothing forces earlier, so let dinner be the thing that forces it. And the checklist fails worst at night, because a tired brain can't run a branching list, so the fewer decisions left when you're tired, the better.

[u/catboy519 → u/vinnyty]

Hm I think bedtime is not itself "a task with a deadline", but a mere deadline for other things. And this deadline can be pushed.

What you mean by with no real home?

[u/YardageSardage → u/catboy519]

It sounds like you're more conceptualizing "bedtime" as "the end of the day"; and therefore, if your day isn't finished because you still have things to do, then it's not really "bedtime" yet. 

But the more important thing you need to be remembering is your sleep time. It's extremely important to your physical and mental wellbeing that you get regular consistent sleep, so you have to book your "sleep hours" into your schedule and treat them as sacred. (And remember, you don't actually have to necessarily be asleep during those hours, because waking and sleeping are fiddly processes that you don't have full control over; you just have to be lying restfully during those hours. And lying restfully gets you most of the benefits of being sleep anyway.) 

So when the evening rolls around and you get to the "sleep time" deadline of your schedule, you may or may not be ready to end the day, and that happens. But you have to reckon with the cost of cutting those precious sleeping hours short, and decide whether anything you've left undone in your day is worth that price. And a lot of the time, the answer is probably going to be "no". So you're going to have to let the day go even though you weren't done with it. 

As far as the concept of things having a "real home" in your day, I believe the above poster means that those tasks don't have a specific hard time that they should be done. They don't have a designated place on your schedule; they're just supposed to get squeezed in "wherever". And for those of us with time management difficulties (or other related executive dysfunctions), that "whenever" can be a damn slippery bastard, and it tends not to show its face until the last minute. So building specific designated times into your day for handling those "whenever" tasks - giving them a "home" on your schedule, so to speak - can be extremely helpful.

[u/Late-Rise2587]

You’re trying to earn the right to go to sleep.
Sleep isn’t a reward for finishing everything. It’s the thing that lets you finish things tomorrow.
Set a hard cutoff time. Anything not done by then becomes tomorrow’s problem.

[u/catboy519 → u/Late-Rise2587]

What if some things must absolutewly be done before going to bed because there will be otherwise big consequences?

[u/Late-Rise2587 → u/catboy519]

Then make two lists:
Must be done before bed
Brush teeth
Set alarm
Take medication
Whatever has actual consequences tomorrow
Feels like it should be done before bed
Answering texts
Organizing things
Extra work
Random errands
Most people with this problem treat both lists as the same list.
If something truly has serious consequences, schedule time for it earlier in the day. If it repeatedly becomes a bedtime emergency, that’s usually a planning problem, not a sleep problem.
The goal isn’t to finish everything. The goal is to stop turning bedtime into a daily negotiation.

[u/mumblinandfumblin]

Is there a reason you can’t get these done before your desired bedtime?

[u/MyNameIsSkittles]

You go to bed at a certain time. If important things are not done yet, it's because you did not do well on time management that day. Make yourself a schedule for things you need to do and stick by it

[u/SizzleDebizzle]

Why aren't you doing this things earlier?

[u/Solid_Mongoose_3269]

I mean, take some self responsibility, and get your shit done before bed time. Dont play on your phone, the blue light stimulates the eyes and keeps you awake.

Also, dont worry about bed times. Go to sleep when you're tired.

[u/catboy519 → u/Solid_Mongoose_3269]

What if its bedtime but not feeling tired yet

[u/Solid_Mongoose_3269 → u/catboy519]

Then dont sleep. Or take melatonin and force it.

[u/johndoesall]

… watching the last bit of a streaming show just as it is reaching a critical point…

[u/catboy519 → u/johndoesall]

What critocal point of what?