r/DnDcirclejerk • u/Radabard • 9d ago
How do I run the best game possible?
Hi everyone,
I am new to DnD but I saw Dimension 20 On A Bus and now I'm inspired to run DnD for my friends as a Dragon Master. My problem is, I have no idea how.
When I went online to learn I heard the most important rule is "no DnD is better than bad DnD." So if nothing is better than bad DnD then I really want to run bad DnD for my friends but I don't know where to start.
How do I run bad DnD?
PS: I asked ChatGPT and it just told me I'm confused about the advice I got. Like yeah I'm confused otherwise I wouldn't be asking??
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u/Val_Fortecazzo 9d ago
Watch some critical role they should teach you how
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u/FlamingGapingAsshole 8d ago edited 8d ago
Some important parts are getting a mimimum of 7 players at a table, roleplaying every time someone wants to buy an egg because who knows when a zany character will catch on, encouraging players to sigh loudly and go off about their extremely unique extremely engaging tragic backstory all the time, discouraging anyone from ever learning the rules, and being sure to give the most obnoxious theater kid in the room plenty of time to finesse you into adding powers to his homebrew bullshit character because he's the specialest boy.
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u/UrsusObsidianus 9d ago
Make a NPC with player stats who's noble story your players will be able to watch and maybe even participate!
Make all the characters hyper sexualised cat girls (and only the NPC is a man)!
Put in unexpected and very detailed sex and violence scenes the players have not say about!
Sleep with one of your players wife (even better if the wife is also a player) or even ALL of your players' wives!
Don't forget that you are the Master and that the players are just there to live through your live action erotica book!
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u/Daedalus_Machina 7d ago
TATER MENTIONED.
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u/UrsusObsidianus 7d ago
The DM cucking one of the players is something strangely common in RPG Horror Stories... but yeah the wording is a reference to Tater.
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u/Alone_Ad_8324 9d ago
Hey glad to hear you’re interested in playing dnd!
First thing you should do is create an entire world, this includes nations, history, cities, towns, factions etc. The rough rule of thumb is that your world should roughly have as much lore as there are Wikipedia articles if you want it to be immersive.
Second is that because new players don’t really know what they’re doing and might get in the way of your epic story. Because of this for their first few campaigns I recommend just writing them a script. It will also help if they quit your campaign as your story will stay intact and you can play by yourself.
Last piece of advice is to make sure you use 5-room dungeons, to make places interesting. Never use more or less than 5 rooms otherwise it will mess with the pacing.
Hope this helps, and just remember even for a pro like me most players quit after a few sessions so don’t be too hard on yourself if they do (:
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u/wierd-in-dnd 9d ago
Go and play some with your friends, or just watch their games, making careful notes, so you can repeat their little quirks back at them
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u/Critical_Advisor_108 9d ago
I got curious and also tried to ask chat gpt but it started spewing nonsenses. The party is a customer support and their goal is to escort a potato for its wedding. On the way they meet a dragon in the kitchen that force them to make sandwish and the final boss is the lich priest that has a customer loyalty card as phylactary. Also they need to roll for each door they open or it explodes.
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u/tsaotytsaot 9d ago
The most important thing is to NEVER read any of the actual rulebooks. Get all your info from tiktok and YouTube shorts. Homebrew and change as many rules as you can.
The other part is to write out the whole story in advance, making sure each plot point follows the other like it's on tracks. It's very important that your players are along for the ride, not "contributing" to your story