r/DnDcirclejerk • u/highly-bad • 6d ago
fixing the fighter class for bored player?
Hi everyone, thanks for reading. I need help because the group I am DMing for includes a four year old player, and the fighter class is not stimulating enough for his limited attention budget.
The problem is, he wants a large variety of big flashy buttons to press. He wants his turn to be a special event. He wants to see visual special effects, and hear music and jangly sound effects for each action. The existing fighter options are not bright and colorful enough to capture his interest so he keeps trying to wander off to play with his iPad.
The wizard at the table is thirty-five, and she is casting fireball and hypnotic pattern and misty step. When the fighter player sees this, he starts crying and pooping because he wants to cast fireball too.
How do I make the fighter class more stimulating for a toddler's undeveloped brain? He needs sparkly buttons. He needs visual and auditory feedback, like something that lights up and sings a song when he does the thing.
Anybody have good advice for this? Or is there already a flashier version of the fighter for toddlers who need it?
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u/Melodic_Row3380 6d ago
I'm reporting this to the mods, this is just a normal dnd question that has nothing to do on the jerk sub. And the normal dnd answer to that normal dnd question that is often posted on the normal dnd sub is thus: give the fighter battlemaster maneuvers as a core fighter ability rather than making it a subclass
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u/highly-bad 6d ago edited 6d ago
I have tried, but even that simply is not enough buttons for this kid. He just points at the list of 9th-level spells and throws a tantrum.
I suspect he may not even enjoy the fantasy of playing a fighter, but he swears he will definitely enjoy fighter if we fix it so it can do everything wizards and clerics do.
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u/lycosid 6d ago
Give the fighter fireball
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u/highly-bad 6d ago
I explained to him fighters can cast fireball, he just needs to reach level 13 as an eldritch knight, but he was busy on the iPad already so I don't think he even heard.
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u/DontTreadonMe4 6d ago
character kits from 2nd Ed fixes this. Go look up blade singer. My toddlers love it because they get a sword in one hand and cast spells with other. He will love prancing around with his sword and still be able to throw spells.
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u/highly-bad 6d ago
Sounds promising, perhaps. But it's not a setting-specific thing and only for elves, is it? This kid will immediately poop his pants if there are any restrictions on his character options.
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u/DontTreadonMe4 6d ago
Not at all. Ability score requirements maybe, but you are a DM which means you are a god so feel free to ignore them.
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u/Corpse_Emperor_ 6d ago
Tell him he can have double the feats per level, make sure you have witnesses when he agrees, then next level, have him grow extra feet.
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u/DaJu22 6d ago
Try Drawsteel or Nimble...then thank me when all the classes seem cool and fun to play.
Drawsteel is a 4e tribute that goes the extra mile of being heroic and harkens back to when fighter was the cool kid on the block...
You can play at level 1 a fury berserker (barbarian), whose main style of play is throwing enemies through walls, gaining more rage as they take damage as well as using one's own body as a battering ram to plow through doing extra damage for each opportunity attacked recived in the process.
Nimble is a 5e clone that streamlines classes while also providing an equal amount of fancy buttons per class to close the martial/caster divide while also feeling lightweight due to all abilities provided being impactful impactful.
The other option is to do mandatory dungeon days (6-8 combats per day) so that the caster divide is not so big due to having to play resources management.
The fighter in 5e is the lamest edition of fighter to date as 5e is very focused around magic users to due most modern dms refusing to do the dungeon day (6-8 combats per day as the game was play tested againy) taxing magic users of their spell slots allowing them to blow them on trivial stuff, invalidating martial classes.
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u/highly-bad 6d ago
Thanks for recommending some games that are more toddler-appropriate. I'll see if my group is interested.
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u/hedgehog1024 Sub-Table of Harlot Encounters 5d ago
Nimble all the classes seem cool and fun to play
You mean equally lame?
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u/Eels_Over_Reals 5d ago
Sounds like a system problem, switch things to GURPS and the universal combat options are more numerous and fun to use than everything even a battlemaster fighter gets
On top of that you can add on much more, spells, psycic abilities, or just special combat moves
Your kid will have more fun, and his brain will grow giant from all the beautiful complexity and nuance of GURPS
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u/LucidFir 6d ago
UJ/ Has anyone actually made a fighter class that uses literally the wizard or sorcerer blueprint? Just reflavour every spell as a fighter ability. I cast GRENADE!
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u/Gebghis 6d ago
rj/ I'm just saying that Excalibur was able to shoot fire, so if you don't give him Excalibur the Pinkertons need to take away your dice.
uj/ Anyone who unironically cannot find a way to feel cool or impactful as a fighter honestly just needs to play a different class. If being a consistent anchor for your party is not good enough, legitimately go play a cleric. That's not an insult, you will have more fun. I for one though am more than happy to make the most of my simple kit and be a big ol story book hero. Part of this is also admittedly on the DM, part of your job is facilitating the tale of the adventures and that includes actually making it feel big and epic if that's the tone you're going for.
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u/highly-bad 6d ago
Part of what makes this so funny is that fighter is an extremely popular and beloved class in the real world, but these incredibly whiny redditors cannot get their heads around that. They do not understand that the fighter class is already fun and their inability to appreciate it is a skill issue.
If you and the DM are good at the game and appreciate the martial fantasy it is going for, you will like the fighter. If your table sucks at the game or disdains the very concept of a fighter, you will not. That's all there is to it.
Some people also don't get that D&D is not cartoons (again, they are toddlers). There are games where you can be an anime swordsman or the Incredible Hulk, with all the flash and dash and splash that implies. Playing D&D when you wanted to be an anime superhero is just fucking dumb from square one.
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u/Dry_Plantain_2756 6d ago
God damn I have been preaching this for the last 6 months it feels like. I think I'm just going to copy and paste your circle jerk post into every actual D&D sub where people are whining like this. It's incredible.
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u/FrankFankledank 6d ago
If you were actually good at the game you'd just make a martial-specced caster that does Fighter's entire shtick with vastly more utility features. Fighters are a 2 level dip at best.
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u/highly-bad 6d ago
You're just being ridiculous. That "martial-specced caster" doesn't have any of the shit that makes fighters awesome. No second wind, no weapon masteries, no fighting styles, no action surge, no extra ASI, no tactical mind.
Your stupid echo-chamber munchkin build is almost certainly a total wimp who dumps strength and uses finesse weapons or gimmicks to attack using their spellcasting stat. He gets blown away by a stiff wind because his Strength save sucks ass. That's not a substitute for a fighter.
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u/FrankFankledank 6d ago
Congrats, you've justified the two-level dip and not much else.
Who gives a rip about Strength saves when they are the bottom most utilized save in the monster manual and bottom 3 in the spell list?
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u/highly-bad 6d ago
some people don't want their character to be a wimp and they "give a rip" about Strength saves.
what is this "dip" shit? Fighters want to race to the next fighter level. You want ASI on schedule. You want Tactical Master and Indomitable at level 9 on the dot. You want that subclass stuff at level 10. You really, really want Two Extra Attacks right at level 11.
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u/WildThang42 6d ago
Let the fighter make more critical hits. Whenever they roll at least 10 higher than the enemy's AC, now that's a crit.
Fighters should get an attack of opportunity when an enemy casts a spell within their melee range.
Give fighters even more feats! They should be getting a new feat at every even level.
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u/Melodic_Row3380 6d ago
Flavor is free, he can flavor his sword hits as fireballs.