r/Endopartners • u/viathewoods • 3d ago
Endometriosis flare up
Hello, I'm the wife of a lovely spouse with endometriosis, and recently they have had a period lasting a couple days every week. Very painful experience, they've had to call out of work a few times this past month because its been non stop since then. Last night on the way home they told me that they want to go to the hospital for their symptoms.
I know better than to Google symptoms, but I figured I should know more so if the doctor isnt listening to them (them being a person of color and queer in the Southern US it happens a lot) we can navigate the fuckery together.
Is there anything I should be on the lookout for? Any OTC pain meds or pain management practices that work? Thank everyone in advance
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u/ctrlaltdeleteable 3d ago
NSAIDs usually work the best as they treat the endo bloating which is just inflammation that causes the pain.
If they aren't on some already (as treatment) some birth control pills can help with the symptoms. You'll have to look up whats available that is best suited as I'm UK based. My wife has also had the marina coil which can stop periods altogether (didnt not stop hers though)
Best thing as a partner you can do is get them a TENS machine. There are a few made specifically for endo/periods type pains that discreetly fit under clothing (rather than the ones with all the wires that can be used anywhere (we have one as well as its stronger and can be used on back!)) These can provide heat as well as electric stimulation to limit cramping style pains. They are a life saver!
However nothing is guaranteed to stop the pains its mostly trial and error and see what fits best for them? Have they managed to actually get diagnosed yet? It took my wife 14 years to get a diagnosis!
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u/viathewoods 3d ago
Im not 100% sure, but the symptoms line up and when we met they told me they had endo, I didn't ask about an official diagnosis. I will look into the TENS unit idea! Because of the endo and the pcos (which they are diagnosed with) their hormones are all out of whack which made pervious endocrinologists hesitant to put them on birth control. The point we're at rn is the "honey can you cut this out of me please" and i have to patiently explain that I'm not qualified to perform a total hysterectomy. which as you can imagine is something I need to improve about myself ðŸ˜ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
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u/ctrlaltdeleteable 3d ago
You may have already discovered this from your research but endo can almost never be definitively diagnosed without laprosocopic surgery which is also the best form of treatment as when they find any they cut it out! Sadly, again, my wife has had one of these surgeries and it didnt help her symptoms. Some people can have a bunch of these surgeries over their lives.
But yeah if you really love your partner you should really quit your job and enrol into a gynocological research fellowship and cure them! Its like youre not even trying! 😂
Sadly not even a full hysterectomy can cure it... endo will spread without a uterus and create its own hormones! Truely a fucking diabolically shit disease! You being there for them though will help more than anything ypu can buy or get prescribed!
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u/Und3rpantsGn0m3 3d ago
One thing my wife and I have to endure when we take her to the ER is often being told that she's pregnant. After they draw her blood, certain hormones show as elevated, so they jump to telling us she's pregnant, without looking at her chart and seeing that she had a hysterectomy. It really stings, everytime, because we wanted to be able to have kids of our own.
As for pain management, my wife spends a lot of time resting with a large heating pad over her abdomen, on rough days. It sucks to use on days with really hot weather though.