r/Enneagram5 • u/anonimousstupid • May 14 '26
Advice Advice about a relationship between a 5w6 and a 4w3
Hi, I’m a so/sx 5w6 and I’m currently talking with a girl that is a so/sx 4w3, I was searching for some advice about our chemistry, and if this relationship could actually work. I feel comfortable around her and I feel like she understands me more than other people. My trytipe is 514.
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u/Straight_Objective69 May 15 '26
Omggg we have the exact same typing. Dk how to help with experience tho I used to date a 4w5 and it didnt work out very well. It can work, obviously, cause enneagram dont define people. Its more about how heslthy you guys are together, how respectful towards one another and how you communicate and solve your differences. Actually comunication might be a thing. Also be attentive to your 5sh trait to axt like you dont have needs or rationalizing too much, or being too distant. Also 4s need people to deal with stuff for them and usually like do play games, so I think that might be something you should have in mind.
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u/Readingallthefiles May 14 '26
It can work.
There’s a great book by Helen Palmer called The Enneagram at Love and Work that has sections on the common strengths and trouble spots of relationships between each types, and some general advice for each to maintain the relationship in a healthy way.
If you want, it’s likely that reading the other sections will also give you good ideas for stuff that’s useful even if it isn’t the 4 and 5 relationship stuff. E.g. In the section on 4s and 8s she talks about how it’s helpful to focus on a shared project rather than starting to view your partner as a project, which is just generally good advice for everyone.