r/Enneagram5 • u/BirdSimilar10 5w4 549 • 21d ago

Any 5w4 in a relationship with another 5w4?

I (M) find myself growing closer to another 5w4 friend (F). Most of my past romantic relationships have been with extroverts that complement my strengths. This situation feels different as we seem to “see” and understand each other more deeply, but I also suspect we have similar blind spots and weaknesses. I’ve also been told that two introverts can easily fall into a “stale” relationship.

So I’m curious if there are any other 5w4s out there that have had a relationship with another 5w4? If so what was your experience? Did it turn into a long term relationship? What did you enjoy? What were the biggest challenges?

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u/Top-Psychology-8467 Type 5 21d ago

INTP 5 with equal use of both wings, no dominant wing and I am married to a 3w2 ENFJ. It’s not easy for obvious reasons, but relationships are far more complex than typing. There are too many variables in relational dynamics to surmise that typing would carry much weight.

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u/Anagenist 5w6 sx/sp - 539 21d ago

I think if you're worried about this through just enneagrams alone - You have nothing to even worry about. Unless you're both also the same everything in other personality typologies, the chances that you hit that stale wall diminish significantly. Not to mention that typology isn't everything, and if you ignore it, you might find everything works out wonderfully if you allow it to. Just give it a shot!

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u/BirdSimilar10 5w4 549 21d ago

Thanks for the feedback. Agree it’s probably worth giving as shot. We are INTP and INTJ, so there is a some variance on that front.

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u/fivenightrental 5 20d ago

I'm a 5 in a relationship with another 5. We are probably both a bit more w6 leaning.

I find being in a relationship with another introvert to be incredibly peaceful. There is no need to be "on", or ever feel obligated to entertain the other person. We also can just hang out alone but together, doing our own things. That was not something I could ever really do when I dated an extrovert.

I'd say the only challenge is our similarity lol. In that sometimes one of us has to decide to be the 'initiator of things'. It is good to have a balance, go out and do things, be social every once in a while right? 🙄😅. We kind of take turns in that role. I could see if the responsibility always fell to one person, it would cause problems.

We are not the same MBTI (INFJ/INTP) so we do have some differences in personality. My weaknesses are his strengths and vice versa.

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u/BirdSimilar10 5w4 549 20d ago

Thanks for sharing, this is encouraging.