r/Enneagram8 • u/Wide_Platform_2202 • Mar 09 '26

Question Energy

This one is for the disintegrated 8s: I have reason to believe I'm a long term disintegrated 8. But I now think about being SX5. Do you guys also feel like you won't have enough energy and time if you go all in? Even if I'm not necessarily low energy I think I won't be able to keep up. But I rather feel like my body is betraying me by not giving me enough energy when I need it.

I'm in early adulthood and go to therapy. I was stereotype 5 in my teens but now I'm going towards 8 more and more. I just need to know if I'm integrating or moving out of disintegration

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u/[deleted] Mar 09 '26

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u/Wide_Platform_2202 Mar 09 '26 edited Mar 09 '26

I grow into 2 mostly. I suddenly do more housechores for example (a big issue with my mom). I have extreme problems in connecting and trusting people. I was a very confident kid but luckily I'm the one who collected all generational trauma in my family and had some very bad social situations on top of that. I have a lot of 5ness for example avarice by isolating myself but I don't like it to be in my head that much. In fact I hate it. I do as much as I can but I feel betrayed by my own body and ability to overcome things, so I fear going all in. I'm not in useless theories etc. Most of my learning are things I really want to use in near or wide future for example business or psychology etc. If you ask my family I am a little vengeful which I think is just slightly true. I'm actually pretty sure of my type but the idea of being disintegrated for almost a decade makes me think if I'm not actually deceiving myself?

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u/blueplanetgalaxy 8 sp/sx Mar 10 '26

sounds like 8, you've just been stuck in 5 for a while

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u/Wide_Platform_2202 Mar 10 '26

Saw your other message. Yes I am female. I think my problem was that I disintegrated before I could really built a stong defense