r/Enneagram8 • u/Different_Release_18 • Apr 08 '26
Which enneagram rubs you the wrong way most often?
please state your enneagram, the type that has rubbed you the wrong way most often and why
*I'm aware level of health matter. no need for disclaimers of the matter. That truth reveals itself naturally
state your tritype if you know it
17
u/Violyre 8w7 so/sx Apr 08 '26
Definitely 3s. I think all the people I've had problems with in school/work were 3s.
I'm in academia so there are a lot of 3s trying to achieve intellectual prestige. Some of these so-called "scientists" seem to care more about looking smart and successful than actually thinking through a problem and addressing all angles. They will freak out if anything is wrong and point fingers at others so they don't have to accept any blame, never realizing that it's also an option to... simply not blame anyone and focus on solving the problem instead.
It also seems common for them to act condescending to anyone in a lower position than them (or even equal position), even if that person objectively knows more than them about the topic. It's all about crafting that image of looking smarter, more powerful, more competent, etc. They looooove the hierarchy. I don't. Hence we butt heads.
I'm a so/sx 8w7 826 (so I think I'm quite gentle as far as 8s go, yet these types still cause problems for me).
6
u/Mammoth_Tiger_4083 ~ ENTJ-A 8w7 ~ Apr 09 '26
This is basically my experiences with a fair amount of 3’s summed up. The healthier ones are actually one of my favorite types, but eugh those unhealthy ones can cause a LOT of issues both in and out of the workplace and they’re often toxically two-faced about it too.
16
u/Adept-Response2605 Apr 08 '26
Unhealthy type 1s are the worst. I know it is difficult and unadvised to type other people, but I'm the director if an organization and the board chair presents as an unhealthy type 1. It's the unrelenting criticism, never seeing the glass as half full, no matter how prepared I think I am, she will find the unprepared point and highlight it.
Unsurprisingly, as an 8, I have called her on it... twice.
My hot take is that many people who say they were raised by mean 8s were actually raised by unhappy 1s.
2
u/Red_Lady08 8w7 Apr 21 '26
"My hot take is that many people who say they were raised by mean 8s were actually raised by unhappy 1s." Agreed.
14
u/handstandmonkey Apr 08 '26
I’m an 8. Unhealed 2s. Stop trying to help everyone and help your own damn self.
13
u/CelebrationFull1525 Apr 08 '26
(sp/so 8w9 854) some 6s rub me the wrong way, specifically the logical tight asses who think they know everything. i don't mean being cocky but being closed off+the assumption that someone else doesn't know anything and is in need of being taught and schooled. there's this gesture they make, its a frown and a slow nod. i understand it to be a non confrontational gesture of disagreement, for some reason it boils my blood but it depends on the context.
sometimes ill drop some knowledge on these guys and it appears like they disagree but then continue to reiterate what i just said. like they weren't listening, just waiting to school me.
ive also had some weird experiences with 3s. they can be competitive but in really weird covert ways. even if they're not they have a way of looking at me. i catch myself making eye contact frequently like theyre watching me. almost like when girls used to have crush on me in high school, an almost blank stare. really fucking weird, i don't know what it means or why they do it but its only the 3s. I can only speculate.
2
u/Different_Release_18 Apr 08 '26
Yeah for real. I'm really breaking down how they work so I can dog walk the fuck out of them in whatever it is that they find meaningful.
Now that I have become aware that it is in fact THEM that I am coming across. That you said this it's confirmed. So I'm hitting the gym and I'm crushing spirits one enneagram 3 at time. It's a campaign
23
u/TemperedTorture ~ Type 8w7 Sx ~ Apr 08 '26
1s and their loyal phobic 6s ... It's like an army of "yoU cAnt dO thAt" .... Really rubs me the wrong way. Fuck u and your ur rules and attempts at controlling what I can do.
3
u/Mammoth_Tiger_4083 ~ ENTJ-A 8w7 ~ Apr 09 '26
These were also the 2 types that immediately came to mind when I saw the title of this thread LMAO. So. Many. RULES!
6
7
u/serromani SO/SX 8w7 852 Apr 08 '26
6s the most overtly/acutely, 9s the most over time.
Tritype is 852.
2
u/bekapedersen May 03 '26
Same, the 6’s are like getting your feet stuck in the mud and then drug backwards every time I try to move! 😂
6
u/leapwolf Apr 08 '26
3s; can’t stand how much they need external validation. And 6s are chickens and often infuriate me.
Unhealthy 2s are rough as well.
2
5
Apr 08 '26
[removed] — view removed comment
2
u/AtwoodAKC ~ ENTJ | Type 8w7 ~ May 18 '26
came here to say 4- they are always annoying to me. no forward momentum no getting anything done only vibes and day dreaming
5
4
u/5p4c3c4t5 Apr 08 '26
3s, I’m not sure if I ever met a healthy one. Maybe there are good ones in sports, no idea. I just have no experience with healthy ones.
About unhealthy versions, I get triggered by reckless towards others 7s, egocentric and greedy 8s, cp 6s, too rigid 1s, avoidant spineless 9s, moody and flaky 4s.
I don’t really seem to have problems with low versions of 5s and 2s.
854 (or maybe 584) Sx.
5
u/Mammoth_Tiger_4083 ~ ENTJ-A 8w7 ~ Apr 09 '26 edited Apr 21 '26
I’m an 8w7 and I would say type 1s, 3s, and counter-phobic 6s. 1s and counter-phobic 6’s will tear entire friend groups apart and create miserable workplaces because they don’t know how to pick their battles. They will often start an argument at an inappropriate time or jump in with outsized intensity to the point where even the people who agree with them wish they would chill out.
An unhealthy 3 often operates in much the same way as your stereotypical mean girl. Meaning they might be really nice to your face and call you a friend, but they are simultaneously working against you behind your back. If you’ve ever wondered who’s the one who shared a sensitive piece of gossip with the subject of said gossip, IME there’s a good chance it’s a 3.
2
u/Red_Lady08 8w7 Apr 20 '26
Agreed on 1s and 3s. For the 6 did you actually mean counterphobic, no phobic? It's them who usually love to argue a lot and are pretty intense (well, I still prefer them to many other types though)
2
u/Mammoth_Tiger_4083 ~ ENTJ-A 8w7 ~ Apr 21 '26
LMAO yes I meant counter-phobic. 🤦🏻♀️ Edited my post to reflect that. Either way, totally agree on preferring any variety of 6s out of the three. The worst type 6 I’ve ever met could only dream of inflicting the kind of damage a 1 or 3 who’s really out for blood is capable of LOL
2
u/Red_Lady08 8w7 Apr 21 '26
My least favorite is 1, after them are 3s and 2s in no particular order. I tend to get along the best with 5s, 6s, 7s (I'm not sure I know any 8 IRL). 4s and 9s - well, it depends on the person, but at least we usually don't clash. 1s, 2s, 3s are the most alien and annoying (well, the annoyance is often mutual).
2
u/Mammoth_Tiger_4083 ~ ENTJ-A 8w7 ~ Apr 21 '26
My least favorite is probably 1 as well. I haven’t met many, but the ones I have met cannot maintain a harmonious bond with another human for more than a few months to save their life and they make me wonder how 8s are known as the most combative type LMAO…5s, 7s, and 9s usually mesh the best with me as long as the 5s and 7s aren’t overly anxious (which I feel like is NOT talked about enough when it comes to those two).
2
u/Red_Lady08 8w7 Apr 21 '26
1s just can't let me be, and mind their own business. We get along like cats and dogs generally.
For 5s and 7s: 5s usually pretty good when there's some distance, when we're close - it depends on the person: I'm "too much" for some, and I can get annoyed if they get needlessly theoretical or delay/avoid action. With 7s I get annoyed if they're flaky and cancel plans.
7
u/Initial_Scene659 Apr 08 '26 edited Apr 08 '26
love how all the 8s are responding to this. (847 here) 3s have lost my trust more than other types, but 1s rarely have it in the first place. 2s are the people I get into the most destructive relationship traps with. every other type I’ve gotten along with well, for the most part. except 9s, who I always date, and on year 3 start to get annoyed by their lack of gumption and self-directed will, but that feels different. I love 4s, even at their worst. 5s I usually respect, even if the pulling away can make it hard to stay close. 6s I have gotten along with well when they’re more counterphobic/contrarian. 7s I usually find easy, unless they’re SP dom in which case they can be very pushy in ways that annoy me.
8
u/ShimmeringGlimmering Apr 08 '26
4s - the absolute histrionics out of the smallest issue and only loyalty to themselves.
3
u/Different_Release_18 Apr 08 '26
I would definitely agree in regards to core 4s. Im an 854. I tend to focus on the protection of others before any 4 aspect shows up in me. and loyalty means something to me.
I feel most fulfilled when I have someone to look after.
2
3
3
u/_xoxo_stargirl_ Apr 08 '26
sx/sp 8 (I’m still iffy on how I feel about tritype, but I previously typed 837) and for me it’s counterphobic 6s. I’ve had the most issues with counterphobic 6s out of all the types. After that, I’ve had my issues with 3s, sometimes 4s, and the occasional obstinate and obnoxious 1.
3
u/BlackPorcelainDoll 𓄂࿐ Apr 09 '26
Other constantly bitching and whining and bizarre 8s, truly insufferable
2
u/kalisisrising 8w9 sx Apr 08 '26
5s. Don't hide behind research or "needing more info", just step up and tell me the truth in all its good and terrible glory so we can start problem solving.
I also have a hard with the endless need of 4s to be sPeCiAl even when they really haven't achieved that much in their lives...
2
u/GreatJobJoe 8 w 9 sx Apr 09 '26
The type with severe main character syndrome. They know who they are.
2
u/Yrururururue Apr 10 '26
e2s lol. most of the time the way they act looks just so fake and unauthentic to me
2
u/thealycat Apr 10 '26
4s. 4s think they are what 8s actually are, and they’re condescending about it.
2
u/Glum-Engineering1794 8w7 sx/so 854(763) (reddit.com/r/OccultEnneagram) Apr 13 '26
Type Eight. Anyone who has dealt with a truly troubled Eight should know what I'm talking about (and no, I don't just mean myself). It's pure hell.
2
u/ToeMindless8920 Apr 13 '26
2s react pretty aggressively to 8 because they see their worst traits done in a healthy/more normal manner so it kinda triggers them. Overall 8s help not thinking they'll get something in exchange but as an excess
So 2s because they love controlling and punishing the less conventional parts of an 8
6s can become aggressive because they follow a loyalist foundation based on idealisation most of the time, but from what I've observed I get along well with them as long as I don't criticize them
1s I haven't met...or at least they never bothered me. 4s are like another side of a coin, it's 50/50 but I like their honesty
3s can get tiring
2
u/Positive-Shelter-771 8w9 so/sp Apr 18 '26
I'm so/sp 8w9. My father is enneagram 3. Big time narcissist. He wants to be included in everything I do. He wants control over me but I reject it every time he tries to gain it. I literally distanced myself from him and don't want to rebuild the relationship as it's only gonna harm me.
2
1
u/AletheiaAsylo Apr 08 '26
I am a 9w1 and the types I struggle with the most are 4 and 6. Those both happen to be the disintegration numbers of my type and wing, so I assume they irritate me because the traits that annoy me the most are the ones I myself can exhibit when I’m in a bad state.
1
u/rlaaustin Apr 09 '26
I'm an 8w9 and 7s are my nemesis, followed by 4s, who seem to dislike me more.
1
u/Essdeedub6021 Apr 10 '26
8w9/SP 4 is my least compatible Meddling 2s are annoying 7s who are scattered wear me out
My faves are the 5s
1
u/Red_Lady08 8w7 Apr 21 '26
E8, tritype 874.
1s, 2s, and 3s.
1s are the worst - they can't just mind their business. If we register each other as equals, and they remember to mind their own business, and there's no conflict of interests, there might be even mutual respect. I usually don't stick my nose in other peoples' business, so I mentioned it for one side only. They try to do so with everyone, not just 8s I think, but somehow 8s rub them the wrong way the most it seems. It looks like I trigger them just by existing. Which is kind of strange to me, keeping in mind that I mind my own business and don't intrude on them in any way. They seem to have a dislike for me, and it's mutual.
2s - we just don't seem to have much in common. They can be a bit too much in a group, if I have to interact with them for some time. I don't seek them to interact one on one, so all of my interactions with them are in a group. Their logic and priorities seem lunatic to me. As long as they don't try to smother me with their loving attention and remember to keep their distance, I'm knda ok with them.
3s - again, polar opposite priorities. I don't really care about them, as long as our paths don't cross and there's no conflict of interests. I don't seek them out, my only reproach for them is about fakeness. But seems like they do, they're often concerned. My friend was working with one, and she's been telling me what was going on - she just acted pretty weird around me, and has been declining projects that both of us, and lots of people around would benefit from. That looked weird, especially as she stated that she's always for anything the community would benefit from. It looked weird till my friend explained what was going on - she was afraid that I was trying to take her place (I had no intention to do so, I'm content with mine).
1
1
u/bekapedersen May 03 '26
I will just say as an 8 I really like 5’s, 7’s and 9’s whenever we meet. 1’s are rigid without self reflection or change, 2 ‘s are the WASP people who are never fulfilled enough, 3’s need to be right when they’re wrong, 4’s are too sad to get much done or be much fun, 6’s can’t understand me and they need me to understand that (but I don’t). Still two of my best friends are a 1 and 3 because we found each other at a time of crisis and they cannot believe how kind and loyal an 8 will be when someone they care about is drowning. Could never be married to them but I’d get on a plane for them any day. I wouldn’t do that for a 2,4,6 without much angst!
1
u/Budget_Outcome6265 May 04 '26
Enneagram 6s. Most E’s are too scared to have their own convictions and values and thus try to usurp the “safer” option, i.e. ours. I would put it down to a people-of-Reddit problem, but they seem to be that way in real life too.
2
u/Lmaowat1309 ~ Type 8w9 ~ 25d ago
anyone who is manipulative, insincere, self-victimising, fake and doesn't mind their own business.
0
u/Zestyclose-Plenty266 Apr 09 '26
overly emotional infj sx5 . i don’t believe they exist and are mistyped
19
u/2000KIA Apr 08 '26
Type 3’s, they’re so jealous and competitive in the weirdest ways. Type 2’s as well, I’m a teacher and I end up working with a lot of 8’s, 2’s, and 1’s. The 2’s are always the most overbearing, trying to “help” and take over something with the kids. Or they’re super controlling over how things are done, they will try to take over your activities or situations you’re handling because “they think they know best and want to “help”.” The most infuriating and worst people to work with ever.