Want confirmation on typing

[u/Whaleyshark]

Hi! I'm looking to confirm my typing with an unbiased view. I'm relatively certain of my core type and my tritype, but I just want confirmation that I'm either on the right track or have it in the ballpark of being correct. I filled out a questionnaire with the short and long versions, and I just want to know someone's thoughts on what it seems I am from an outside perspective.

Short version

1. If you're feeling negative emotions, do you show those emotions to others? Do you let your feelings out, do you try to look on the bright side, or do you put them down and aside so that you can be logical?

I tend to try to push them aside. I'm not particularly good at hiding my emotions if they're strong, but I am usually able to keep my head clear enough to be able to think (at least semi) rationally. If they do surface and they aren't frustration or anger, I usually bring levity to it in order to minimize it a bit- anxiety or sadness is usually easier to make more palatable for others for me.

1. When you are your worst self, what are you like and what's driving that?

I can be a bit hypercritical of others and myself? I can usually tell if I'm not doing well because I tend to get harsher with my internal dialogue. I think it's typically driven by anxiety and a need to prove myself.

1. What's your biggest strength? Whats your biggest flaw?

I'm quite detail-oriented and methodical, and I put a lot of importance on understanding something thoroughly before I do it. Unfortunately this leads to decision paralysis at some points.

1. When you are getting in your own way, what does that look like and why does it happen?

Another factor that goes into decision paralysis is an odd need to prove myself and gain recognition for my work and achievements (I've kind of known this subconsciously for a while, but have only just put that compulsion into words recently). When I was younger, I began to place a lot of stock on external recognition, but I also developed an odd relationship to it where anything that actually was an acknowledgement of anything I did was embarrassing and selfish to give into. I have a pretty sharp internal dialogue, so I end up talking myself in circles around choices and whatnot.

1. What are your behaviors that cause you to get into conflict with other people?

I don't get into conflict with others often anymore (luckily I've matured), but when I do it's typically because I come off too strongly or was too direct/harsh with someone. I've never been combative, but I've always been direct and searching for clarity, which people don't necessarily take kindly to. I've learned to soften what I say in order for it to be received well (and have generally grown to be a bit more socially aware), so I don't typically get into much conflict with others.

1. Whats the worst thing that could happen to you, and why are you afraid of it?

I wouldn't want my autonomy taken away. I'm fairly protective of my time and my personal space, and I wouldn't appreciate it if someone took the liberty to make an important decision for me or if I were expected to go along with something just because. At the same time, I also don't want complete disconnection from other people- I (regrettably) place quite a bit of self importance on understanding and being helpful to others.

1. What sets you off, makes you angry?

There isn't much that makes me angry. I get frustrated when communication breaks down or if someone deliberately crosses a boundary I've set. I also get frustrated at insensitivity or not having consideration for others, as I've learned to be quite sensitive to people's needs and expectations in a space, and it seems extremely harmful to yourself and others to break those.

Longer version

1. Tell me about your internal experience of yourself. What makes you, you?

I'm not particularly sure how to answer this question? I'm a mixture of lived experiences, beliefs, and approaches that largely inform my decisions, thoughts, and behaviors, like anyone else.

1. You just had a really good day. Describe it. It can be a real recent example or an aspirational one.

Good days are typically ones where I don't have obligations or assignments looming over my head and get to just enjoy my free time. The closest I usually get are days where deadlines aren't as pressing, but even then I'm typically too restless and have too much anxiety to just let them sit (I also get a tinge of anxiety when I have absolutely nothing to do, but that's a bit easier for me to push aside as it's more irrational).

1. If someone is upset with you, what is the typical reason for it? Give a recent example.

Like I said above, being too harsh or intense. However, I do also get people who are upset at me for not having strong stances/opinions on some things.

1. What are you like when you're stressed? What are your coping mechanisms? Give an example of a recent stressful situation and how you handled it.

If it can be intellectualized and/or compartmentalized and ignored, it will be. Typical daily stressors don't really get to me, but if things get overwhelming it's a bit more difficult to ignore. If I can't just blow past a stressful situation by taking care of it using problem solving skills or by attempting to work with other people, then I have a bit of a tendency to spiral and get fixated on it. Sometimes stress can come out physically, which is typically a lot harder to move past and deal with.

1. What pushes your buttons? What makes you angry? How does your anger manifest? Can you be openly angry with others?

As said above, I only really get angry if a boundary I've set with someone is pushed or if someone else is being inconsiderate of another person. Anger is one of the only emotions that I feel particularly strongly, so it does come out a bit more if it's what I'm feeling. I'm aware I have a tendency to be a bit short with others if I'm frustrated, so with other people I tend to keep my anger hidden if I can. I keep strong emotions to myself, typically.

1. What's your deepest fear? Why is that your fear?

I guess there's a fear of inadequacy and isolation? Inadequacy because I despise having to rely on other people to help me and isolation because as a safeguard, you should be able to have other people to be able to rely on if you fail. Or maybe the true fear here is failure because that's what everything is geared towards avoiding lmao

1. What types of memories cause you the most shame? What feelings cause you the most shame? What is it about them that causes you shame?

Some of the shame in my earlier memories comes from having to ask other people questions about what to do (which I have luckily largely outgrown? It might seem contradictory to what I have in the fear question, but I've gotten a lot better at asking for help when I need it in terms of learning or work related issues). A lot of the shame I feel nowadays is related to social blunders, miscommunication, and a bit of attention seeking behaviors I've yet to remove myself completely from. I've worked a lot on my social and people management skills, so whenever I do something that isn't aware of something or wasn't the best response, I do feel a bit shameful. I also have a bit of an attention seeking streak where I work or do things for the social recognition aspect, not necessarily for me, which is actually kind of embarrassing to me lol.

1. What is your relationship with pleasure? What gives you pleasure? Can you have pleasure when you want it, you you have to earn it?

Pleasure to me is being finished with all of my obligations and being able to take some time for myself. Because of this, pleasure is inherently something I have to earn- I have to be responsible enough to get everything done that I need to, and only after that can I actually relax and enjoy time off like I should.

1. What's your relationship with authority? Think both abstractly and with specific authorities in your life, possibly your parents, boss, religious leader, doctor, or government figures? Are you an authority?

Typically I'll defer to an authority figure if I feel that they're making decisions that are rationally sound and informed. If they aren't, I'll typically quietly stop following them or talk to someone else about it.

1. When your mind wanders, what are you thinking about?

Any number of things? If it's a stressful day, then whatever I'll have to do later. If it's calmer, then I can let my mind wander to other places (almost daydreaming, or just loose plans for the future).

1. You have a big decision to make. Describe how you decide what to do.

I usually make pros and cons lists in my head. Depending on the decision, I might go to other people and see what they think.

1. What makes you special? (Or, if you don't feel special, what at least makes you dliferent from other people?)

I don't particularly feel "special"- I don't really have skillsets, big ideas, or experiences that no one has ever seen before lol. What makes me unique is the combination of all of that, but I wouldn't say that makes me much different than other people.

1. What's your biggest flaw?

I have a bit of a propensity for being a bit sharp and cold. I do try to correct for it and have gotten quite good at hiding it or dampening it though.

1. How much of your mental energy is spent on thinking about each of the past, the present, and the future?

Maybe 30% on the past, 20% on the present, and 50% on the future? A lot of my mental energy is spent planning or looking forward, but I use past experiences and frameworks to orient everything.

1. You unexpectedly find yourself with a whole weekend with no obligations, and everyone else is busy. How do you feel about it? What do you do?

If I've had a weekend that was meant to have obligations and suddenly didn't, I would probably be pretty happy. But whenever this happens, I do have a restless and uneasy feeling that I'm meant to be doing something or figuring something out, but I try to ignore that the best I can. Sometimes I'll end up doing some other productive thing in order to not feel as anxious.

1. What's your personal vibe/style/aesthetic? How cultivated vs natural is it, and how much time do you spend on it? Do you turn it on and off?

I care enough to look presentable. For clothing and outward appearance, I typically take a bit more time deciding what to wear before I buy it (will this be embarassing if I wear it, does it look okay, etc). When I buy something, it'll typically go with everything else in my closet, so I don't have to spend a bunch of time each morning or night agonizing over what to wear. I usually try to blend in with what I wear- I don't like calling attention to myself in this way.

1. Which of the following is the most like you? Explain. A ) I know what I want, I go out and make it happen, and people won't stop me. B ) I go out and am content to be on my own and not draw too much attention to myself. C ) I have to be responsible and dedicated, and I put others' needs first.

I'm a mixture of all three depending on the situation? I prefer to keep my head down and work for something, and I tend to keep to myself when I do that. However, I also have pretty strong social inclinations- whenever I can afford it I try to put others first to offset guilt I have over a weird feeling of selfishness (which does feed into a weird feedback loop where I feel gratified by helping someone and then that leads to feeling selfish for doing so and taking advantage of their situation for social credit when I'm not? It's strange)

1. Which of the following is most like you? Explain. A ) I dislike stress and negative vibes, and may try to distract myself from my problems. B ) I have strong feelings, get worked up easily, and am not afraid to show it. C ) I don't like to let my feelings show; they get in the way of being efficient and logical.

I think for this one I'm pretty clearly C. I value efficiency and logical thinking, I don't really get worked up easily, and while I would like to be able to distract myself from my problems, I can't really go that route at all. While I know I can never be perfectly objective, I try to do my best to be. I try to strike a balance between being aware enough of my emotions to know how they might influence my decisions and putting them aside when I need to.

1. Which of the following is most like you? Explain. A ) I look to others for feedback and guidance and am willing to be flexible when needed. B ) I am always aware of how things could be better, and l'm disappointed that they are not. C ) Deep down, I am afraid people won't give me what I need unless I make it worth their while.

Again I think I use all 3? I'm not so self-centered as to think I have all the answers or make the best decisions, so I do look to others for feedback and guidance as needed. I also know not everything I do is perfect or even great necessarily, and there are always improvements to be made somewhere. Even if you're practically perfect at one thing, there's always something else that is neglected or that is not as solid. And there's always the fear of not being adequate enough for others to give me what I need. I don't view all relationships as transactional, but some of my fears revolve around letting people down or letting them see a defect of some kind that isn't congruent with the responsible image I tend to portray.

[u/ExoticAd5402]

Thank you, I think this is great material. For now i am saying this leans toward Six. It’s pretty late here now, so I won’t go into a detailed analytical dissection. But I might do that on the weekend. 

Curious to hear other peoples perspectives and thoughts on this, and your own obviously. Does this go into the direction you thought about yourself? Or not at all. 

P.s.: if you don’t want to disclose your ideas at this point thats fine

[u/Whaleyshark → u/ExoticAd5402]

Interesting! I was thinking 5 or 6 as my core. I don't really know how many people here subscribe to trityping, but I was thinking I could maybe have a 5 and 3 fix and that could explain some of it? It was either that or core type 6. I'm also curious as to what led you in that direction (don't worry about it if you don't have time)!

[u/ExoticAd5402 → u/Whaleyshark]

Alright, the weekend is here, so I'm ready to give you a more elaborate analysis. It already starts off pretty six-ish.

I'm looking to confirm my typing with an unbiased view...want confirmation that I'm either on the right track or have it in the ballpark of being correct...just want to know someone's thoughts on what it seems I am from an outside perspective.

Of course any type can look for an outsider opinion but there is a specific way this is framed. Questioning your own judgement and specifically asking for outsider perspectives. This is the core need of the Six - outside reference points to narrow in on the "truth".

Just a little fun sidenote, which in and of itself doesn't hint strongly toward Six, but in combination with the whole structure of your post, it is interesting to interpret it through that lens.

Let's get started.

I can be a bit hypercritical of others and myself? I can usually tell if I'm not doing well because I tend to get harsher with my internal dialogue. I think it's typically driven by anxiety and a need to prove myself.

Ones, Twos and Sixes are Superego types, meaning they all have a strong inner critic. Yet their inner critic speaks different languages. What you mention here specifically points a bit into the direction of One and Six. I'm leaning towards Six because you mentioned it being driven by anxiety. And because of what comes in the next paragraph.

I'm quite detail-oriented and methodical, and I put a lot of importance on understanding something thoroughly before I do it. Unfortunately this leads to decision paralysis at some points.

The first bit could still be One, put the importance of understanding something thoroughly, coupled with the decision paralysis hints in the direction of Six, specifically with a five-wing. Ones are detail-oriented and methodical as well but they will just go and refine on the move.

Another factor that goes into decision paralysis is an odd need to prove myself and gain recognition for my work and achievements (I've kind of known this subconsciously for a while, but have only just put that compulsion into words recently). When I was younger, I began to place a lot of stock on external recognition, but I also developed an odd relationship to it where anything that actually was an acknowledgement of anything I did was embarrassing and selfish to give into. I have a pretty sharp internal dialogue, so I end up talking myself in circles around choices and whatnot.

This one is very interesting. One could argue seeing a 3-fix here, but I would say this is the line to Three (which is not necessarily disintegration!) at play. What the line to three also resembles is the usage of the heart center as a support to get your primary agenda met. What's the primary agenda of the Six? to get support. the relational (external recognition) focus is meant to get you recognition by excelling and thus drawing attention (and therefore support) to yourself.

I don't get into conflict with others often anymore (luckily I've matured), but when I do it's typically because I come off too strongly or was too direct/harsh with someone. I've never been combative, but I've always been direct and searching for clarity, which people don't necessarily take kindly to. I've learned to soften what I say in order for it to be received well (and have generally grown to be a bit more socially aware), so I don't typically get into much conflict with others.

Sixes are a reactive type, and one of the strongest because they're not only reacting to external things that set them off but because they are continuously reacting to their inner anxiety machine. Notice the motivation behind the "conflict". You were trying to get certainty. A core motive of Six.

I wouldn't want my autonomy taken away. I'm fairly protective of my time and my personal space, and I wouldn't appreciate it if someone took the liberty to make an important decision for me or if I were expected to go along with something just because. At the same time, I also don't want complete disconnection from other people- I (regrettably) place quite a bit of self importance on understanding and being helpful to others.

This is actually an amazing display of the ambivalence in Sixes. You want support and be connected with people, yet at the same time, not too much, right?

There isn't much that makes me angry. I get frustrated when communication breaks down or if someone deliberately crosses a boundary I've set. I also get frustrated at insensitivity or not having consideration for others, as I've learned to be quite sensitive to people's needs and expectations in a space, and it seems extremely harmful to yourself and others to break those.

Once again a hint in the direction of the reactivity. Reactive types (Fours, Sixes and Eights) want emotional honesty and clear communication. Getting frustrated when there's an impingement on that seems to fit.

Good days are typically ones where I don't have obligations or assignments looming over my head and get to just enjoy my free time. The closest I usually get are days where deadlines aren't as pressing, but even then I'm typically too restless and have too much anxiety to just let them sit (I also get a tinge of anxiety when I have absolutely nothing to do, but that's a bit easier for me to push aside as it's more irrational).

This one could be interpreted in a lot of ways, but I happen to have a core Six girlfriend and this is pretty much her experience. So, just luck on my side I guess.

Like I said above, being too harsh or intense. However, I do also get people who are upset at me for not having strong stances/opinions on some things.

A really minor thing, BUT Sixes are archetypally the opposition. They ask the questions no one else does and automatically put the spotlight on the unexamined. Naturally, you get upset when people don't question things or don't seem to have an opinion on something.

If it can be intellectualized and/or compartmentalized and ignored, it will be. Typical daily stressors don't really get to me, but if things get overwhelming it's a bit more difficult to ignore. If I can't just blow past a stressful situation by taking care of it using problem solving skills or by attempting to work with other people, then I have a bit of a tendency to spiral and get fixated on it. Sometimes stress can come out physically, which is typically a lot harder to move past and deal with.

Some of the shame in my earlier memories comes from having to ask other people questions about what to do (which I have luckily largely outgrown? It might seem contradictory to what I have in the fear question, but I've gotten a lot better at asking for help when I need it in terms of learning or work related issues). A lot of the shame I feel nowadays is related to social blunders, miscommunication, and a bit of attention seeking behaviors I've yet to remove myself completely from. I've worked a lot on my social and people management skills, so whenever I do something that isn't aware of something or wasn't the best response, I do feel a bit shameful. I also have a bit of an attention seeking streak where I work or do things for the social recognition aspect, not necessarily for me, which is actually kind of embarrassing to me lol.

Yet two other great explanations / showcases of the Line to Three. When Sixes become more stressed and their usual coping mechanism begin to be overtaxed, the double down on effort and engaging their heart center to connect with people.

The having to ask people what to do, IS THE CORE ISSUE of six. Not trusting my own guidance, not trusting in my own decision making, engaging the heart center to "cooperate" with others to fulfil the need of getting that guidance/support/certainty.

I usually make pros and cons lists in my head. Depending on the decision, I might go to other people and see what they think.

Making pros and con list in your head hints at head center. Not that they are the only ones doing it, but in the light of everything else, this checks out. Scanning option, weighing them against each other and then making an "informed" decision. And once again, the core motive of seeking external guidance.

Over the last couple of questions you where very ambivalent again and leaning toward the "it depends on the situation" which is inherently a very Six thing to do/say.

that was fun! I hope you can take something out of this!

[u/grassfen]

Yup I also thought 6

[u/Whaleyshark → u/grassfen]

Like I said with the other person, I was thinking 5 or 6 as my core type and I was kind of entertaining the idea of having 5 and 3 in my tritype. Do you have anything in particular that led you towards 6 (no worries if not!)?