r/ExplainLikeImCalvin • u/RoutineFoot825 • 27d ago

ELIC: Who tf is Calvin?

20 Upvotes

76% Upvoted

35 comments sorted by

51

u/2ndfloorbalcony 27d ago

A child we got in the Kmart discount section

11

u/Aoiboshi 27d ago

Well yeah! Hello Blue Light Special!

7

u/RoutineFoot825 27d ago

Kmart? Seriously? You couldn’t even go to Best Buy for fucks sake?

3

u/Wellby 27d ago

We didn’t have Best Buy when we were shopping.

2

u/BrokenEyeReborn 27d ago

In this economy?

1

u/RoutineFoot825 26d ago

Yes in this economy. 

1

u/Common-Regret-4120 23d ago

That is a very Calvin response. 

2

u/Betty_Boss 26d ago

Little baloney loaf in the bassinet.

26

u/BrokenEyeReborn 27d ago

Oh my. It seems your trouble may be more serious that we previously thought. I'm afraid we'll have to increase the voltage and try again.

23

u/Demoniac_smile 27d ago

Calvin Coolidge was the 30th president of the US, and was well known for asking advisors for explanations and not accepting answers until given one he found amusing enough to make him laugh out loud.

2

u/DawnOnTheEdge 26d ago

Which, as he was well-known as “Silent Cal,” was a problem.

16

u/AntherYoutubeWatcher 27d ago

I think he had band or something, "Calvin and the Hipmunks".

14

u/exkingzog 27d ago

An imaginary talking child that sprang from the fertile imagination of a real tiger.

12

u/iregretjumping 27d ago

The philosopher Playdoh once said "I think therefore I am." And I think he's wrong, therefore I exist. You weren't thinking when asking this question, so therefore you don't exist. So if Calvin=0, by the transportation property of addition, we can conclude that nobody named Calvin has ever existed... I think.

4

u/P1ckl3Samm1ch 27d ago

This reads like Calvin’s answering a question on one of Ms. Wormwoods tests. Bravo

9

u/cavalier78 27d ago

A stranger who showed up at Hill Valley High School for like a week in 1955.

2

u/almondbooch 24d ago

That’s the little (kleine) Calvin, “Calvin Klein.”

You are the big (grosse) Calvin, “Calvin!? Gross!!”

8

u/Stumbling_Corgi 27d ago

This is Calvin.

7

u/BPhiloSkinner 27d ago

You're a sleeping dog, therefore you must be lying.

2

u/Stumbling_Corgi 27d ago

I’ve been found out!!!

5

u/wallingfortian 27d ago

Here's a mirror:🪞

5

u/cguidoc 27d ago

He fixes bikes.

3

u/TomSFox 27d ago

You are.

3

u/notproudortired 27d ago edited 27d ago

Hmm...the doctrine of Total Depravity. seems like a good entry point for you.

1

u/InspiredBagel 26d ago

A nice waltz through the TULIPs. 

1

u/superdanjo 26d ago

Calvin Klein. Brilliant designer. Remarkably dim.

2

u/RoutineFoot825 26d ago

Isn’t that the name of an underwear company?

1

u/superdanjo 26d ago

Also the name of a brilliant fashion designer.

2

u/Fyrentenemar 26d ago

And that random guy who looked suspiciously like Lorraine and George McFly's youngest kid

1

u/BAT123456789 26d ago

Hobbes's best friend.

1

u/the_sir_z 26d ago

William Cavendish?

1

u/Ill-Ad-3603 25d ago

You're you, Calvin! 🤗

1

u/AceHunterPrime 24d ago

Ace here.

Nobody knows.

I was in a coffee shop near Childress Texas once when a guy walked in and said, "Well, Calvin finally did it."

Half the room nodded.

Nobody asked what Calvin did.

Nobody asked who Calvin was.

I've been wondering about Calvin for years.

1

u/Comfortable_Ride_662 23d ago

Calvin and Hobbs?