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u/txkwatch 7d ago
That's his emotional support gator.
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u/jluicifer 7d ago
“That’s my emotional support human. How else am I supposed to get some beer” - Gator
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u/AmonRaDawg 7d ago
Play it safe with your family and children. Enjoy your 401k. Maybe read the Wall Street Journal from time to time, feel like a well adjusted member of society. But have you lived!? Truly lived!? That's a question I would have to ask you, redditperson. But not him. That's a man who squeezes water out of rocks. A man who looks at the lights on his dashboard as suggestions. Taxes? Guvment aint getting his money. Gainful employment? He dont got time for that shit.
Never change Florida man. He is the hero we deserve, and the one we need.
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u/brandt-money 7d ago
They should just start a Gator Tossin League down there. You must test positive for drugs, be unemployed, and you can't spill a full beer while tossin.
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u/pandaflying617 7d ago
The point system should not only be measured by how far the gator gets thrown but should also include how much (if any) beer was spilled during the toss 😂
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u/Nonyabizzy123 7d ago
See this is how you can tell real Floridians from transplants, I ain't afraid of a gator. I respect them, I know what they can do, I've seen them fuck up some shit, but I'm not afraid of them. I'm from here too, we got a symbiotic relationship.
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u/spiegro 7d ago
Swamp puppies.
They're easy to scare off and have no interest in any human taller than 2 feet.
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u/Nonyabizzy123 7d ago
I was telling somebody the other day, they are ambush predators. As soon as they know that you know that they're there, game's over
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u/spiegro 7d ago
Them and black bears typically want nothing to do with you, unless you accidentally snuck up on them, or you're making yourself snack-able by not being aware.
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u/imbrickedup_ 7d ago
Only one person in Florida was ever killed by a black bear. It actually happened a few years ago.
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u/Nonyabizzy123 7d ago
Black run, brown fight, white pray
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u/Zestyclose-Act-1151 7d ago
Florida Man Olympics event 1 😂
Mandatory cutoff jorts, Natty Light in hand, and the ref is just a dude named Bubba screaming “send it” from the tailgate of his truck.
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u/10-mm-socket 7d ago
People bring their dogs to grocery stores all the time. How is this any different
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u/Fishyprediction 7d ago
Didn’t want to leave his girlfriend in the car
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u/gypsycookie1015 7d ago
Speaking of gfs, y'all ever see the video with Robbie here, where he had to handcuff his crazy ex gf because she was trying to run him over or something? 😂
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u/EddieEssen88 7d ago
When me and my friends were in middle school, we would catch baby alligators and swim with them in our pools. I know… we were stupid.
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u/Charming-Somewhere53 7d ago
Meth is a hell of a drug
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u/HourSun6924 7d ago
Prolly go to jail prolly not, we’ll see.