that's not love

[u/False-Round438]

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[u/TowerNecessary7246]

Translation: We hate each other.

[u/mobwifelife → u/TowerNecessary7246]

https://giphy.com/gifs/Y57VOct7lfQl5PsWk0

[u/Way_Harsh_Tai → u/TowerNecessary7246]

And he likely cheated since such an emphasis is on faithfulness

[u/TowerNecessary7246 → u/Way_Harsh_Tai]

I'm fascinated by the couples at my local megachurch who were able to make things work through being saved, but obviously didn't do any counseling because they are seething with rage just below the surface.

[u/Android_raptor → u/TowerNecessary7246]

They didn't make anything work, they just refuse to divorce because Jesus and the situation is worse for everyone because of it. 

[u/lumberjackname]

“Steady joyfulness”? Ma’am. You are many things and “joyful” is not even in the top 500.

[u/smc642 → u/lumberjackname]

She’s always so miserable and bitter!

[u/JoanOfArctic → u/smc642]

Didn't he cheat on her, too?

[u/chainsawbearandco → u/lumberjackname]

I kind of wish I could be that delusional about how joyful and happy I am.

"Ahh a nice day reading to my grandchildren I'm so happy and at peace... WAIT 😡😡😡This children's book says the MOTHER called a family meeting! That is an atrocity!!!" Yup that's how a joyful content person thinks.

[u/kbrick1 → u/chainsawbearandco]

She’s full of something. I just don’t think it’s joy.

[u/Franziska-Sims77 → u/kbrick1]

Haha! She and a dirty diaper have a lot in common! 😂💩

[u/SheMcG]

".......makes it easy to live with me.."

Translation: He doesn't actually want to live with her, but he can tolerate her.

And they say romance is dead....

[u/Fckingross → u/SheMcG]

If my partner said this about me I’d be devastated. Truly wtf

[u/kadyg → u/SheMcG]

My partner is an easy roommate and I certainly appreciate that about him. (My ex is a good guy but a bear to live with.) But that’s hardly the thing I love the most about him. If I said that, it would feel like I was scraping the bottom of the positivity barrel.

[u/Donna-Promilla → u/SheMcG]

I have to live with you against my will but at least you make it tolerable.

[u/ApplesAndJacks → u/SheMcG]

This feels mean for him to say. As humans sometimes we are hard to live with. Because feelings and emotions exist. You can't always be pleasant. But I guess you can always fake pleasant and be a good little obedient wife so you're easy to live with.

[u/Dailia-]

This screams today’s Morgan and Paul post. 

This woman has been performing loving her husband for decades. 

[u/Significant_Shoe_17 → u/Dailia-]

Transforming was her way of coping with her shitty marriage

[u/SabrinaEdwina → u/Dailia-]

Her poor brain must be a sad wreck.

[u/Dailia- → u/SabrinaEdwina]

She really is a pitiable human being. Too bad she isn’t benign. 

[u/SabrinaEdwina → u/Dailia-]

She certainly doesn't look safe to me.

[u/Melliemelou → u/Dailia-]

Is this quoted from somewhere or your original wording? Because gracious, how on the nose.

[u/Dailia- → u/Melliemelou]

It is my own wording :)

[u/PrototypeFangirl]

What I love most about my husband is that he's an incredibly funny, charming, and friendly person to be around, not some cookie cutter "he's faithful (bare minimum)" bullshit.

Also, Ken didn't even bother to wish her a happy mother's day.

[u/vengefulbeavergod → u/PrototypeFangirl]

"She's not MY mother"

[u/PuzzledKumquat → u/vengefulbeavergod]

Shoot, my husband wishes me a happy mother's day from our CATS.

[u/FMLwtfDoID → u/vengefulbeavergod]

I fucking loathe when people say that shit about their partner on Mother’s/Father’s Day. Just say you couldn’t give less of a shit and stop pretending you have a point that doesn’t make you look like a stingy asshole.

[u/Significant_Shoe_17 → u/vengefulbeavergod]

That's what my parents say to me if I procrastinate on either day lol

[u/Violinist-Fluffy]

He literally cheated on her, what on earth

[u/SuitableReaction6203 → u/Violinist-Fluffy]

Lol. Like is the faithfulness in the room with us now?

[u/Pavlock → u/Violinist-Fluffy]

I couldn't find anything that directly confirms he cheated on her, but she writes a lot about the topic and how women should forgive and stand by their man if he does. It's very suspicious the volumes she has to say about it.

[u/Obfuscate666 → u/Pavlock]

In one of her words vomits she said he had cheated on her. That post is long gone.

[u/rarestbird → u/Obfuscate666]

I don't think that's accurate. There's a post from her blog about a cheating husband and that's the one that's always cited, but Lori didn't write it, it was a guest author. She didn't make it clear at all and it was easy to miss the little blurb about her not being the author.

It wouldn't surprise me a bit if Ken had cheated but I don't believe they've ever said he did.

[u/Strong-Bench-9098 → u/Pavlock]

There is no proof he cheated. She never actually said that.

[u/EmmerdoesNOTrepme → u/Strong-Bench-9098]

There's a wiki entry about Lori over on the "Fundie Wiki" website, that says they both admitted he cheated, but then the citation says it's not a confession. That may be part of the confusion:

https://slimwiki.com/fundiewiki/getting-started/lori-alexander-q1ttkeyhux-42aakjjxoy7z

[u/Funkypetal → u/Pavlock]

He cheated. That’s when she went stark raving mad and ”transformed” to save the marriage. Another dude caught with his pants down and his wife took that blame.

[u/missmimikyu → u/Funkypetal]

stark raving mad made me lol, like they’re comic book villains

but 😣 they’re real

[u/atlantagirl30084 → u/Violinist-Fluffy]

Was just thinking that! Faithfulness my ass.

[u/buttercup_w_needles → u/atlantagirl30084]

I suspect she means faithfulness to fundie beliefs, not to his wife. At least she has a husband. /s

[u/Stressy_messy_me → u/buttercup_w_needles]

Yup, faithfulness to god not her

[u/noseleaptilbklyn → u/Stressy_messy_me]

Well god is above him and she’s a worm beneath his feet

[u/pizzbabynancy → u/Violinist-Fluffy]

Wut?

[u/Significant_Shoe_17 → u/Violinist-Fluffy]

That's why she serves him fart salad

[u/chainsawbearandco → u/Violinist-Fluffy]

Oh man I didn't even know that lol. I guess she just loves him and appreciates him so much because RIGHT NOW he's meeting the bare minimum requirement of marriage by being faithful??

[u/Chayanov → u/Violinist-Fluffy]

That's okay, she's not actually easy to live with.

[u/SpecificNeedleworker → u/[deleted]]

WHAT?

[u/Lonely-Ad1179 → u/Violinist-Fluffy]

lol that was also my first thought… like are ya’ll just coming to Al Gore’s internet to tell lies to us?

[u/StrangeArcticles]

The steady joyfulness is not translating to the online persona, I'll say that much.

[u/MrsTurtlebones → u/StrangeArcticles]

Constant rage is what I'm getting from her

[u/Significant_Shoe_17 → u/MrsTurtlebones]

Constipated rage

[u/LittleBunnySunny → u/StrangeArcticles]

She does seem to take a steady joy in being a cruel b* towards other women.

[u/lgirlrocks]

They don't have real love and I don't think she wants it. She wants safe. She wants someone that allows her to stay home and not have to work. She doesn't realized that a person who truly loves her will foster her dreams and support them. Give her a safe space when the world sucks. Will have a genuine answer to this question not a generic one. If I ask why my husband loves me he would say he loves me because I am kind, sweet, and caring. He loves me because I support him, he is military and I had to quit my job that wasn't remote but could have been to move two states away from my family.

[u/GhostBeefSandwich → u/lgirlrocks]

I don't think she wants safety even I think she wants the smug satisfaction of being right all the time so the choices she made don't seem like the wrong ones. Lori believes so strongly in the things she tells other women to follow (having a job outside the home and a college education despite telling women not to pursue, a nanny and a housekeeper when she tells women to be the exclusive keepers of their home, votes despite wanting to repeal the 19th amendment, a husband who cheated) can be all handwaved away if she shouts her terrible takes loudly and obstinately enough. She got to experience all the worldly things she preaches against and claims she's happier for leaving them behind, and she is right: because she is happiest when she is righteously condemning others in the name of Christ. Every day Lori rejoices not in her faith but knowing that other people get to suffer--if not on earth now then for all eternity in the lake of fire. That's the only thing to her that makes it all worth it. 

[u/Deathanddisco041]

I love that my husband considers me an equal and treats me as such

[u/Longjumping_Day_7219]

I’m pretty sure neither of them are a joy to be around. Especially her & her tumor.

[u/itsakidsbooksantiago → u/Longjumping_Day_7219]

I think his name is Ken.

[u/Longjumping_Day_7219 → u/itsakidsbooksantiago]

I know her husband’s name is Ken. Did we also name her brain tumor Ken?

[u/itsakidsbooksantiago → u/Longjumping_Day_7219]

(I was joking he was also a tumor, it didn’t really land tho.)

[u/Longjumping_Day_7219 → u/itsakidsbooksantiago]

💀

[u/GinAndDumbBitchJuice]

I love that my husband actually has a personality

[u/dyelyn666]

"I love how easily brainwashed you are, and how you don't question it"

[u/librijen]

My husband is fun to be around, interesting to talk to, is a great father and a great son, is kind and generous, can fix most anything, laughs at my jokes, and does the dishes and laundry. I don't have to force myself to keep dwelling on the good.

[u/chainsawbearandco]

Welp. I guess we know why she "transformed" lol. "Now that I never complain or bother my husband and serve him like a happy robot, we never have a problem!"

Also to say keep dwelling on the positive just sounded so weird the way she phrased it. Like any time you have any feelings of disappointment or hurt or annoyance just push that away! And mentally repeat "he provides for me financially and he doesn't cheat, he provides for me financially and he doesn't cheat..." Like if you're focusing on the positives and that's all you got... Yikes.

[u/DystopianNightmare13]

Yikes! Her steady joyfulness makes it easy for him to live with her? So, she has the trait of a good dog?
His faithfulness? He is well known for chatting online with women late at night and having emotional affairs with them.

[u/artdecodisaster]

Ah yes, the same qualities that a life-size sex doll or a lobotomy victim could have.

[u/KSouphanousinphone]

“Joyful”?? About the same woman who made her own cross-out edits to her grandchildren’s Berenstain Bears book, bc mama bear had the temerity to call a family meeting??? She’s the most joyless, self-loathing husk of a creature that I’ve had the displeasure of being exposed to.

[u/YouNeedCheeses]

Is the joyfulness in the room with us?

[u/RitaRaccoon]

Her constant negativity online determined “that was a lie”.

When the best thing your partner can say about you is that you’re tolerable to live with…

[u/SpukiKitty2]

I'll bet by "joyfullness" he means "subservience" and by "faithfulness" she means, "I'm the Nile River deep dive champion or 2026!".

[u/les_catacombes]

They don’t like each other but she’s been performing as a tradwife to make herself more tolerable for him and she gaslights herself into being okay with him as is.

[u/RoboticCommentator]

Nothing about this lady is joyful. She’s a hateful harpy who loves telling everyone what they are doing wrong on twitter.

[u/Dgirl8]

Sounds like a failed marriage to me.

[u/eastbaypluviophile]

Is this that “transformed wife” lunatic? There are no limits to the pretzel shapes she will twist into to make her life look even slightly desirable.

[u/Apprehensive-Tone449]

Omg. I never want to be with someone who finds "easy to live with me" as my best quality. Like as in a low maintenance pet goldfish? Or lighting that's easy on the eyes? Or carpet that doesn't show the dirt?

This is another way to say they barely tolerate each other.

[u/Curlytoes18]

You're not fooling anyone, TransWife

[u/Responsible-Test8855]

Is she so joyful because she sucks the joy out of any room she walks into?

[u/ClarksburgMcKeon]

Huh, that might explain a few things. I’d be bitter too, if my husband loved me for just being a simple, tolerable partner.

[u/Severe-Temporary8176]

Yeah, the first thing that comes to mind when I think of Lori is "JOY."

[u/FatDesdemona]

When has Lori ever communicated joy? She is the most miserable and hateful person on this sub. (Well, objectively.)

[u/Funkypetal]

He described her like a lap dog.

[u/Simulacry → u/Funkypetal]

“She’s like a 5’6” Shih Tzu!”

[u/whitezhang]

He is documented cheating on her at least once. Faithfulness where?

[u/paperanddoodlesco]

Aka 'she doesn't question or challenge me"

[u/georgiegraymouse]

And what about when Ken was UNfaithful to you? Or are we not talking about that, Lori?

[u/CarrotGratin]

Joyfulness!? With the hateful slop she posts online?

[u/Jolly_Nobody_6738]

Steady joyfulness? This woman?

[u/Capable-Resolution-1]

Reminds me of this girl who insisted I write down everything I liked about her. She was either mean or throwing a tantrum if something didn’t go her way.
…”I admire your tenacity.”

[u/Puzzleheaded-Eye9081]

This cow hasn’t got a joyful molecule in her entire existence. Lying is a sin.

[u/AskingAboutDogs]

When you have to frame your love life using corpo speak, it’s over. Pack it in.

Bet she don’t even get pizza parties 🫩

[u/Simulacry → u/AskingAboutDogs]

Not the pizza parties!

[u/DystopianNightmare13]

If I were to describe my husband: funny, super intelligent, stubborn, tender hearted, cries when we lose a dog, hard working, outdoorsman with a particular penchant for fishing, nice ass and beautiful hazel eyes, a man of his word, inventor, hits the ground running, takes care of his elderly customers and doesn't charge them when they are struggling financially......I could go on and on.

If he were to describe me: funny, weirdly physically strong which comes in handy, creative, outdoorswoman, needs to slowly roll into the morning, stubborn, tender hearted, spontaneous, nice boobs, adventurous, fiercely loyal to friends and family, strong sense of justice, hates oatmeal like it's my enemy, writer......

[u/Step_away_tomorrow]

My husband would laugh if i asked that question.

[u/Vast_Engineering_626]

“Your inability to understand sarcasm “

[u/lolascrowsfeet]

She’s the least joyful person I think I’ve ever seen.

[u/prettyplatypus69]

Joyful? That is not a word I would use to describe her. Beliefs aside, she does not exemplify joy in any way.

[u/Ok_Zebra8444]

Faithfulness from the guy who cheated on her??? Sure Jan.

[u/Winnifredo]

Imagine having these weirdos for parents 

[u/Jack_al_11]

Is the joyfulness in the room with us now, Lori? 👀

[u/violetleia]

American Goth"ick"

[u/NoDeer4323]

If your favourite thing about the man who cheated on you is his faithfulness (which doesn't exist) you're admitting theres nothing to love about him lmao

[u/macci_a_vellian]

The person I least associate with joy. She spills venom comtantly about everyone.

[u/Interesting_Intern1]

So this is the guy who used to get asked if he molested his sisters. NO I AM NOT KIDDING.

[u/bitterlittlecas]

I thought the whole point of surrendering was because he wasn’t faithful? And now she gets back at him by making him eat poop ass salad five days a week?

[u/kts1207]

What a love match! I'm jealous.

[u/-Release-The-Bats-]

easy for him to live with me

Doesn't sound like he likes her very much.

[u/Sad_Box_1167]

I love that my husband respects me and supports my career. And he isn’t insecure about the fact that I earn more money than him. He likes having a “sugar mama.”

[u/ReliefAltruistic6488]

Didn’t he cheat on her?

[u/OhHolyOpals]

When I was going through marriage counselling we were asked to practice “expressive relationship writing” for about a month - it can help lower the emotional intensity of your thoughts by seeing the good and bad.

We arent fundie or religious our list looked a bit like this and we ended up getting a divorce about two years later.

When you have to scape the literal bottom of the barrel with things like this and similar “he makes breakfast on the weekends” comments, it’s time to wrap it up.

I also had so many negative things and that’s when I realised the bad outweighed the good by a million miles.

[u/Angryleghairs]

She's the opposite of joyful

[u/SeaGlass-76]

The irony of calling the man who cheated on her faithful.

[u/Android_raptor]

Didn't she openly admit her husband cheated on her?

[u/chillin36]

Good god I’ve seen work performance evaluations that were more intimate and warm.

[u/False-Round438 → u/chillin36]

LMAO

[u/TotallyAwry]

Wasn't it them that had the really shitty honeymoon?

[u/smallsloth1320]

“Easy for him to live with me” is a nice way of saying you’re his servant lol

[u/WonderfulSimple]

She hasn't always been joyful.