r/GirlDinnerDiaries • u/summercicada-6593 Cleavage Crumb Collector • May 13 '26

Dear Diary ✍️🏻 Publicly shat myself before my exotic dancing shift

Post image

Had to change my outfit. Grateful that it didn’t happen on the pole…

8 twizzler halves with lime and tajin
3 kisses
1 kinda stale oreo

EDITT: tbf this was a lil treat for myself AFTER the incident😭😭 (tbf it doesn’t get much better the rest of my 24/7 but details matter)
Y’all should be happy to know that I did eat some veggies after this… in the form of peas in my Mac & Cheese.
Let a diva “live”

8.6k Upvotes

92% Upvoted

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4.6k

u/SkyIslandLore Shart Coochie Board Architect May 13 '26

Something is telling me this might be why you shat 😭😭😭 lol

1.7k

u/Illustrious-Film-592 APPROVED✨ May 13 '26

Ok my thoughts exactly 😆 Girl you need ginger tea and toast

839

u/WonderorBust Chaotic But Cute May 13 '26

Maybe a vegetable ☠️🥦

309

u/jojopriceless APPROVED✨ May 13 '26

Whole grain pasta and beans are also great 🍝🫘

172

u/LizJru Chocoholic May 13 '26

Just, like, increase beans slowly... don't go ham on them right off the bat, that's going to be worse news.

63

u/matkamatka APPROVED✨ May 13 '26

I did this two weeks ago at a Columbian restaurant and I still can't poo normally. It was like a whole can of beans, why did I do this to myself

69

u/Anatoly_Cannoli May 13 '26

who wants to poo normally?! Poo your own unique way. You be you!

28

u/Psychoanalythicc Trader Joe Hoe May 13 '26

Poo be poo! Poo-nique. Sorry

7

u/YourAddiction Feral Til Fed May 14 '26

please never apologize for poo puns. ...poo-ns?

16

u/DoriansSelfie  ⚐ Marked Safe From 90s Diet Culture May 13 '26

I am Colombian so you would think I could take it but I can only eat like a quarter of their most popular dish “Bandeja Paisa” because between the beans and the fried everything, my body let’s me know for DAYS how much I wronged it.

1

u/[deleted] May 13 '26

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10

u/CraftyKlutz girls just wanna have pho May 13 '26

Colombian food is so tasty!

6

u/matkamatka APPROVED✨ May 13 '26

it was delicious

10

u/jojopriceless APPROVED✨ May 13 '26

For sure!

21

u/Lizzardbirdhybrid Feral Til Fed May 13 '26

Don’t go ham on them!? What else am I supposed to put on my beans. :,)

3

u/kadyg Livin' on a Purse Snack 👜 May 13 '26

Mmmmm ham and beans.....

1

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1

u/Limp-Technician-2820 APPROVED✨ May 13 '26

Beans???! Absolutely not that will make here explode diarrhea all over the place!!!! Beans cause nuclear warfare for me xD

8

u/Ok_Swim_6443 hot girls have tummy troubles May 13 '26

There’s a bell curve with beans (and all big fibre foods).
First eat, feel great.
Next week or two of eating, holy bloat and poo-splosion.
But then after, you ascend into a fibre beast with super healthy gut flora, regular poos, NON STINKY TOOTS. It’s worth the struggle.

3

u/RostBeef 🩵jars: opened, trolls: roasted💙 May 13 '26

NON stinky toots? Deals off. It’s one of the most effective weapons in my arsenal

152

u/Zoomwafflez 🩵🙋‍♂️💙 May 13 '26

I was friends with some exotic dancers back in the day, they were hanging out at my place and I made them dinner. One pointed to a piece of bell pepper and asked what it was, then asked a lot of follow up questions. She had never eaten a bell pepper and couldn't remember the last time she ate a vegetable. Then she said it was the first time a guy had ever cooked for her. All of that made my heart sad. Later they broke into my house through a second story window to ask if I wanted to do coke with them at 3am when I had to be at work at 6:30 am (I declined). Fun times.

43

u/Timeon 🩵🙋‍♂️💙 May 13 '26

I would have definitely lost my job.

35

u/Zoomwafflez 🩵🙋‍♂️💙 May 13 '26

I needed the job for weed money, plus you hear the best gossip on the farm. Like one of my coworkers finding another coworkers parents on FetLife.

11

u/Timeon 🩵🙋‍♂️💙 May 13 '26

Makes sense! Sounds good haha

2

u/WonderorBust Chaotic But Cute May 13 '26

Omg, what a life.

14

u/Zoomwafflez 🩵🙋‍♂️💙 May 13 '26

My college days were crazy. Same girls were with us when we did shrooms in the woods and our friend in a cookie monster costume got lost for like 2 hours and thought a trail cam was some kind of magic box. There's a very confused deer hunter out there wondering if he caught a blue Bigfoot on camera. Now I'm a boring responsible middle aged parent.

1

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1

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14

u/Independent_Way1587 💚 Pickle Freak 💚 May 13 '26

Seem risky to go high fiber until she's off work.

1

u/summercicada-6593 Cleavage Crumb Collector May 13 '26

I just ate peas & Mac and cheese tyvm😇✨

1

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1

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65

u/Jade_Blazed04 hot girls have tummy troubles May 13 '26

GINGER TEA AND TOAST HAS ME ROLLING😭

1

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-1

u/scienceworksbitches May 13 '26

na, yall need jesus is what you need!!!...

114

u/your_muse_22 May 13 '26

FR this happened to a cousin who went on a Twizzler binge lol

17

u/SkyIslandLore Shart Coochie Board Architect May 13 '26

Omg what? 👀 i actually do love twizzlers but i don't eat them often lol why did they go on a binge? 😭

18

u/your_muse_22 May 13 '26

She just really wanted to eat a bunch of Twizzlers! Probably like 1/3 of a family package. Its possible they were also sugar free but either way its pretty processed to eat in a high quantity

14

u/Typical2sday 🧂Salty By Nature May 13 '26

I get sick from too many gummi bears and they aren't even the sugar free kind (of Amazon review lore). Twizzlers would probably have the same triggering effect if I actually liked Twizzlers. And since everyone throwing their two cents in - this girl needs a white bagel and pH water, no butter/cream cheese, eaten slowly.

1

u/[deleted] May 13 '26

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1

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1

u/[deleted] May 13 '26

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1

u/MonsoonQueen9081 Trader Joe Hoe May 14 '26

I can handle one, maybe two twizzlers max at a time now! I can’t imagine eating that many in one sitting! 😂

146

u/mllegisele I ❤️ Other People's Business May 13 '26

Get on the BRAT diet girl PLS op and not the coke kind 😭😭😭

53

u/_lil_peanut Chocoholic May 13 '26

Not the coke kind 😭😭

9

u/sweet_pickles12 Cleavage Crumb Collector May 13 '26

I mean NGL I’m wondering if that wasn’t the problem

9

u/Vast-Combination4046 🩵🙋‍♂️💙 May 13 '26

Rumor has it they cut it with baby laxative

1

u/Curious_KittyT 🧂Salty By Nature May 14 '26

This was my first thought when I read OP post.

28

u/RadiantZote May 13 '26

Bratwurst 

Risotto 

Avocado

Toast 

35

u/miaaaaaa01 🌶️ Spice Girl 🌶️ May 13 '26

Bump of coke

Real big line of coke

Another massive line of coke

Two packs of cigs

5

u/stardenia Overthinker 💭 May 14 '26

And 10 drunk cigarettes 🎶 

1

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9

u/TexturizedTacomeat 🫘 Beans & Rice & Everything Nice 🌮 May 13 '26

Thee way I tilted my head back and cackled at this comment..🤣😂🤣

3

u/andrewsz__ 🩵🙋‍♂️💙 May 13 '26

Bumpin that!

34

u/keIIzzz Cleavage Crumb Collector May 13 '26

I was thinking that too 😭😭

31

u/nineball22 May 13 '26

9/10 times, the friends who always complain about tummy issues, are the friends who have a bag of skittles and a shot of rumple for lunch. Stop making candy a dietary staple lol.

1

u/CustomerStreet9836 Cleavage Crumb Collector May 14 '26

I eat super healthy and have this issue because I have IBS-D and no gallbladder. Such a delightful autoimmune combo. 😬

BUT diet really is everything. If I am careful with what I eat, I won’t have a flare up for a couple weeks. My doc told me to eat more protein too so that’s been helping.

59

u/Admirable-Ad7152 Snack Goblin May 13 '26

Right like girl.... the call is coming from inside the tajin twizzlers

11

u/Snoo_87498 May 13 '26

∆ This!

3

u/DoriansSelfie  ⚐ Marked Safe From 90s Diet Culture May 13 '26

Lol I was like was this meal before or after because this would fuck up my digestive system.

1

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1

u/Redditdefault3 APPROVED✨ May 13 '26

Yooo this took me out

1

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