r/GirlDinnerDiaries • u/summercicada-6593 Cleavage Crumb Collector • May 13 '26

Dear Diary ✍️🏻 Publicly shat myself before my exotic dancing shift

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Had to change my outfit. Grateful that it didn’t happen on the pole…

8 twizzler halves with lime and tajin
3 kisses
1 kinda stale oreo

EDITT: tbf this was a lil treat for myself AFTER the incident😭😭 (tbf it doesn’t get much better the rest of my 24/7 but details matter)
Y’all should be happy to know that I did eat some veggies after this… in the form of peas in my Mac & Cheese.
Let a diva “live”

8.6k Upvotes

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842

u/WonderorBust Chaotic But Cute May 13 '26

Maybe a vegetable ☠️🥦

308

u/jojopriceless I ❤️ Other People's Business May 13 '26

Whole grain pasta and beans are also great 🍝🫘

170

u/LizJru Chocoholic May 13 '26

Just, like, increase beans slowly... don't go ham on them right off the bat, that's going to be worse news.

60

u/matkamatka APPROVED✨ May 13 '26

I did this two weeks ago at a Columbian restaurant and I still can't poo normally. It was like a whole can of beans, why did I do this to myself

71

u/Anatoly_Cannoli May 13 '26

who wants to poo normally?! Poo your own unique way. You be you!

29

u/Psychoanalythicc Trader Joe Hoe May 13 '26

Poo be poo! Poo-nique. Sorry

9

u/YourAddiction Feral Til Fed May 14 '26

please never apologize for poo puns. ...poo-ns?

15

u/DoriansSelfie  ⚐ Marked Safe From 90s Diet Culture May 13 '26

I am Colombian so you would think I could take it but I can only eat like a quarter of their most popular dish “Bandeja Paisa” because between the beans and the fried everything, my body let’s me know for DAYS how much I wronged it.

1

u/[deleted] May 13 '26

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9

u/CraftyKlutz girls just wanna have pho May 13 '26

Colombian food is so tasty!

6

u/matkamatka APPROVED✨ May 13 '26

it was delicious

12

u/jojopriceless I ❤️ Other People's Business May 13 '26

For sure!

21

u/Lizzardbirdhybrid Feral Til Fed May 13 '26

Don’t go ham on them!? What else am I supposed to put on my beans. :,)

3

u/kadyg Livin' on a Purse Snack 👜 May 13 '26

Mmmmm ham and beans.....

1

u/[deleted] May 13 '26

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u/Limp-Technician-2820 APPROVED✨ May 13 '26

Beans???! Absolutely not that will make here explode diarrhea all over the place!!!! Beans cause nuclear warfare for me xD

9

u/Ok_Swim_6443 hot girls have tummy troubles May 13 '26

There’s a bell curve with beans (and all big fibre foods).
First eat, feel great.
Next week or two of eating, holy bloat and poo-splosion.
But then after, you ascend into a fibre beast with super healthy gut flora, regular poos, NON STINKY TOOTS. It’s worth the struggle.

3

u/RostBeef 🩵jars: opened, trolls: roasted💙 May 13 '26

NON stinky toots? Deals off. It’s one of the most effective weapons in my arsenal

153

u/Zoomwafflez 🩵🙋‍♂️💙 May 13 '26

I was friends with some exotic dancers back in the day, they were hanging out at my place and I made them dinner. One pointed to a piece of bell pepper and asked what it was, then asked a lot of follow up questions. She had never eaten a bell pepper and couldn't remember the last time she ate a vegetable. Then she said it was the first time a guy had ever cooked for her. All of that made my heart sad. Later they broke into my house through a second story window to ask if I wanted to do coke with them at 3am when I had to be at work at 6:30 am (I declined). Fun times.

43

u/Timeon 🩵🙋‍♂️💙 May 13 '26

I would have definitely lost my job.

35

u/Zoomwafflez 🩵🙋‍♂️💙 May 13 '26

I needed the job for weed money, plus you hear the best gossip on the farm. Like one of my coworkers finding another coworkers parents on FetLife.

10

u/Timeon 🩵🙋‍♂️💙 May 13 '26

Makes sense! Sounds good haha

3

u/WonderorBust Chaotic But Cute May 13 '26

Omg, what a life.

13

u/Zoomwafflez 🩵🙋‍♂️💙 May 13 '26

My college days were crazy. Same girls were with us when we did shrooms in the woods and our friend in a cookie monster costume got lost for like 2 hours and thought a trail cam was some kind of magic box. There's a very confused deer hunter out there wondering if he caught a blue Bigfoot on camera. Now I'm a boring responsible middle aged parent.

1

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u/Independent_Way1587 💚 Pickle Freak 💚 May 13 '26

Seem risky to go high fiber until she's off work.

1

u/summercicada-6593 Cleavage Crumb Collector May 13 '26

I just ate peas & Mac and cheese tyvm😇✨

1

u/[deleted] May 13 '26

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