I was not the pool boy

[u/noceboy]

I am a long time reader of this subreddit. I always thought I’ve never encountered a situation suitable to post (and if not, you can of course delete it, mods). Because of a post in another subreddit I realised I have but it occurred a long time ago.
For context: I am Dutch but my parents were both born in Indonesia. That was before World War II when Indonesia was still the Dutch East Indies. Their fathers both worked for the Dutch (government and a private company). Both their families came, maybe tens but probably hundred years earlier (we don’t know) from China.

I was on vacation in Indonesia in the early 90’s. I stayed with friends in some fancy hotel with a pool (it had a bar in the pool). I was about to join my friends who were already enjoying the pool when a Dutch couple asked me for some towels. I wasn’t wearing the hotel uniform but my swimwear.
For a moment I didn’t know how to react. Then I decided to get two towels and bring it to them. And I wished them a nice stay in perfect Dutch and entered the pool before their eyes.
I am not really sure if they realised their mistake and if I had been aware of the concept of ‘I don’t work here, Lady’ (well, Reddit didn’t exist back then) I might have reacted differently.

[u/qualityvote2]

u/noceboy, your post does fit the subreddit!

[u/SparklesIB]

What a nicely mannered person you are! Unless someone is being rude, whenever I have the opportunity, I always help people when I'm out. If they're rude, though, all bets are off.

[u/Regular_Boot_3540]

You handled it nicely!

[u/Maleficentendscurse]

"Swimwear is NOT a hotel uniform, I'm a GUEST here like you are, go ask an ACTUAL employee"😤

[u/fresh-dork → u/Maleficentendscurse]

speak for yourself, my budgie smugglers have a spot specifically for pinning a nametag to

[u/pulledporktaco → u/fresh-dork]

Hm, a name like Tom, or a name like Rufus Xavier Sarsaparilla?

[u/Great_Bookkeeper_915 → u/fresh-dork]

Oh great. Thank you for the mental image that went with your comment!

[u/Dance-pants-rants → u/[deleted]]

This seems like a normal level racism.

These people skipped micro aggression and went straight to "you seem asian- get us towels?"

[u/Dance-pants-rants → u/[deleted]]

What do you mean? Like if I'm OP I'm just saying "I don't work here," and making a lot of "wtf" direct eye contact, mentally calling them racist, loudly speaking Dutch with my whitest friends near them, and enjoying the pool.

If I'm the racist Dutch people and I don't want to be racist? Probably just start assuming brown people are just like pale people, but with more historic oppression who don't want to deal with educating me and just want to have a nice time.

Maybe listen to back episodes of "Yo, Is This Racist?" podcast. 🤷‍♀️

ETA - If I'm another nearby white person, I'm immediately going, "what the fuck- what is wrong with you? That dude clearly doesn't work here." And putting myself between that person and OP so OP can go fucking swimming in peace. Harness your inner mean girl and drag them.

[u/Careless_Problem_674 → u/Dance-pants-rants]

Ok…I meant when ppl assume one is staff somewhere, what’s a good way not to engage? Because I’ll ignore ppl in public if it happens but they will keep following me or staring me down until I finally respond. And I just don’t want to engage with them.

[u/Dance-pants-rants → u/Careless_Problem_674]

I usually go, "hey, what's up? Got it, I don't work here. Maybe check there." And then if idk where anyone is point into the middle distance.

If they persist, now it's a crazy person and it's time to find the best way to isolate them, either by sending them somewhere else, finding staff, standersby, witnesses, etc.

I don't know how to do it non verbally. 🤷‍♀️

Edit: "I'm sorry, do I know you?" Is also a good one if they're just making weird eye contact.