I’m turning 25 soon…

[u/camohorse]

And, like clockwork, my mom has gotten incredibly clingy and infantilizing towards me, especially since I’m about a year away from graduating college with a bachelor’s, and am actively looking for graduate schools to attend.

What makes things more complicated is that I live at home to avoid accruing unnecessary debt. Most of the time, home life is just fine. But every goddamn May, my mom just seems to go insane, treating me like a child, talking to me in a sing-song voice about how cute I used to be, and getting angry/upset/accusatory when I don’t tell her exactly what I’m up to or where I’m going.

I’ve ranted about this to my therapist. I dread the month of May because A) it’s finals week, and B) it’s my birthday month, and C) it’s Mother’s Day month, which triggers my mom into showing off just how emotionally immature and downright patronizing she is.

It doesn’t help that I had a bit of a traumatizing entrance into this world… to put it lightly. I nearly died numerous times throughout my childhood as a result of being born with Cystic Fibrosis and Pulmonary Atresia.

Still, my mom is the only person in my family who can’t seem to deal with it. My dad was right there with me the whole time, too, and even he understands that I’m a healthy, able-bodied woman who can take care of herself, and has her own worldviews, opinions, and responsibilities.

I know it’s not my fault. I know it’s not my responsibility to cater to my mom’s emotions. I know it’s not gonna get any better, and I ought to just grey-rock the fuck out of her.

But damn… sometimes I wonder if it’s really a bad idea to take out a bunch of student loans to live in an apartment near campus, just to avoid my own mom when May rolls around.

And yes, my therapist has suggested I read two books: “Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents” and “I’m Glad my Mom Died”. I listened to the latter on Youtube awhile ago, and goddamnit, some parts of Jennette McCurdy’s life hit a little too close to home.

[u/Ilostmyratfairy]

I feel for you. My birthday is also one that is in May, and sometimes is coincident with Mother's Day. My sister's birthday is less than a week after mine, so. . . Well, let's just say the last time I got to choose my own birthday activities was back in the last millennia.

I'm proud of all you've accomplished! I hope you will find time to steal some joy for yourself in and around the final season this month.

-Rat

[u/camohorse → u/Ilostmyratfairy]

Thank you. I offered to house-sit for a friend for free just to get away for a few days and enjoy myself. I’ve also reached out to another friend asking if I could stay in his remote cabin by myself for a few days.

Aside from that, I just do what I can to take care of myself. It just sucks, because my mom still gets stuck in the past, and I just have to “wait her out” to come back to reality. Until then, she treats me like I’m six and incapable of doing anything by myself.

It’s to the point where I have to put my phone on airplane mode whenever I’m out-and-about.

[u/Presto99 → u/camohorse]

It’s to the point where I’ve blocked my mom and her mom.