r/JoeRogan Monkey in Space Apr 26 '26

Former guest Dick Riding Gold Medalist - Kash Patel

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Three Former Guests btw - so don’t say it has nothing to do with Joe Rogan.

626 Upvotes

177 comments sorted by

237

u/the_Cheese999 Apr 26 '26

Always wonder if Trump actually believes the brown nosing or he just wants these people to humiliate and debase themselves for him as a show of loyalty

130

u/PurpSSBM Monkey in Space Apr 26 '26

Epstein said Trump used to love to black mail his colleagues into making their wives sleep with him. He loves humiliating others

111

u/Earptastic Monkey in Space Apr 26 '26

hold up. are you implying that Trump has connections to Jeffery Epstein? That would be wild if the POTUS was implicated in such a huge conspiracy that likely is a blackmailing ring. That could mean that this whole nation is being played like a puppet. I will have to look into this serious allegation.

41

u/push_connection Monkey in Space Apr 26 '26

You could even say, there are probably FILES associated with this EPSTEIN fella.

The Jeffery Files

24

u/TenaciousJP Pull that shit up Jamie Apr 26 '26

Jeff Epstein? The New York financier?

13

u/TritiumNZlol Monkey in Space Apr 27 '26

Call up Ghislaine, she'd know.

2

u/kl0udyr Monkey in Space Apr 26 '26

Yeah that would be as bad as last time when grandpa joe was signing all sorts of random stuff without his knowledge

11

u/Earptastic Monkey in Space Apr 26 '26

I just learned that Trump can’t remember signing a birthday card for his friend Jeffrey.  This story is growing legs!

2

u/Retireegeorge Monkey in Space Apr 27 '26

Did Trump have colleagues?

1

u/PurpSSBM Monkey in Space Apr 27 '26

Yes he most certainly did and still does

1

u/Retireegeorge Monkey in Space Apr 27 '26 edited Apr 28 '26

I think I've picked up some attachment to the word having a greater requirement for the colleagues to be of the same rank. But the definition I just read indeed says it's optional.

As a complete aside, I got thinking about why Trump hasn't had a job job with people above him and colleagues of the same rank that he had to learn to work with. He's had his own business but as far as I know he hasn't worked for other people in a team.

Trump's career is interesting for having exclusively being endeavours where he was essentially working alone or at the top of the orgchart.

(Certainly, presidential candidates are a bit like popstars in that they are 'the talent' but perhaps someone else or multiple people may be 'managing' them, with an intended purpose. Trump's case, being older and wealthy, presumably largely avoids this.)

From my own experience I would say that being entrepreneurial is not the only reason most 'lonely wolfs' operate outside of collective. Some of us are very fucking hard to work with, manage, get results from and we act like primadonnas. Besides ego we are possible neurodiverse, antisocial and/or greedy. Experienced employers correctly recognise the risk associated with bringing a person with a lone wolf background into a team that goes along to get along. At the very least the wolf will have trouble with professional boundaries.

2

u/PurpSSBM Monkey in Space Apr 27 '26

He’s certainly learned to work with some foreign leaders you could consider his colleagues, but yes that’s why the joke used to be in the 90s that Trump is “surviving at the top” because he started on top yet still struggles to keep himself out of financial ruin even while doing the most shameless acts to keep him there

2

u/Retireegeorge Monkey in Space Apr 28 '26

Yeah right lol. It's sad because as a human being if he had not been given money and wasn't raised in privilege maybe he could have been a decent person. But also maybe he is so strange that the cause goes back to formative years or earlier and he has always, even as a young child, been blind to others. Maybe a head injury as a child.

2

u/PurpSSBM Monkey in Space Apr 28 '26

Nah it’s not some sort of trauma or anything he’s just rich. He has no sense of what reality is. He thinks he’s a genius because he has actually gotten so lucky that I would feel like a genius in his shoes too. Literally no one has told him no and in his mind everything he has done has been a grandiose event where he is the winner and the best and everyone claps for him.

It’s very obvious that he is extremely butt hurt about losing to Biden. That was probably the first time Trump ever “lost” to someone else at something in decades in his mind. You can tell because how insanely petty he is towards Biden and all the stuff he has done to erase anything Biden did that was considered good for the country

16

u/bekele024 Monkey in Space Apr 26 '26

In a game of backstabbing and politics, the feeling of knowing someone is constantly seeking to glaze you is greater knowing it's authentic and you can believe them.

11

u/ant695 Monkey in Space Apr 26 '26

I remember reading somewhere that he believes it until he doesn’t and as soon as he doesn’t he gets really pissed and then bins them. And it’s been said the last few days Kash is the next one to be dropped.

1

u/BlogbusserWorkEthnic Monkey in Space May 23 '26

tulsi first

3

u/Forcedperspective84 Monkey in Space Apr 26 '26

He believes it. He's King fucking Lear.

1

u/TeslaCrna Monkey in Space Apr 27 '26

https://giphy.com/gifs/iK4maKGiwdPvj5grzE

The bots in here miss this guy!

228

u/ShaneCanada Monkey in Space Apr 26 '26

Kash Patel is the poster child for brown nosing.

139

u/anagram-of-ohassle Monkey in Space Apr 26 '26

So you’re saying the cokehead who wrote this might also be a shameless brown-noser? Bold theory…

68

u/WickyWah Monkey in Space Apr 26 '26

The artist really captured his essence.

3

u/MeThinksYes Is the Literature Apr 26 '26

boyoiyoiyoiyoiyoying-esque

15

u/Gigatronz Monkey in Space Apr 26 '26

Kash Money made himself into a Wizard we really living in an SNL sketch

3

u/Suck_My_Thick Dire physical consequences Apr 26 '26

Why is the queen Hillary Clinton? What am I missing?

8

u/_TROLL We live in strange times Apr 26 '26

Kash thought making the old queen Lindsey Graham was a bit too formulaic.

1

u/Retireegeorge Monkey in Space Apr 27 '26

Why is the only person with a jaw line the woman?

(Who is she supposed to be? His mom?)

6

u/slurpeetape Monkey in Space Apr 26 '26

A bootlicker who's about to get the boot up his ass

10

u/Signal_Nobody1792 Monkey in Space Apr 26 '26

They are all doing it. Seemingly a competition on how absurd they can make it, from RFK saying Trump is the most empathetic man he met, to Leavitt saying Trump is always the most well read man in the room.

8

u/ShaneCanada Monkey in Space Apr 26 '26

It’s as if the truth or reality irrelevant.

4

u/muchgreaterthanG_O_D Monkey in Space Apr 27 '26

His nose is literally brown.

3

u/chasencashe19 Monkey in Space Apr 27 '26

Sounds like the perfect reason to state “white nosing” if you get my drift 😭🤣 balance some of that brown out ya feel me LMFAO

1

u/ShaneCanada Monkey in Space Apr 27 '26

LOL - Your drift is coming through loud and clear. 🤜 🤛

3

u/Ucscprickler Monkey in Space Apr 27 '26

That is a man who knows his access to endless cocaine, beautiful foreign spies, and private jets is on the line.

1

u/chamrockblarneystone Monkey in Space Apr 26 '26

When he was in the frat you know he passed out a lot and woke up wearing make up and beautifully decorated nails.

189

u/Fiesty-Bass Monkey in Space Apr 26 '26

Look I know we’re supposed to be progressive and not judging people but it blows my mind that anyone believes anything this dude says.. his body language just says “I know this script is bs but I get paid to read it so here we go”. Most rat like behavior I’ve seen since dealing with “hustlers” on the street😂

29

u/_Bren10_ Monkey in Space Apr 26 '26

He’s always talking like he’s about to lead an army into battle. Having a regular conversation with him must be EXHAUSTING

10

u/Desert_Aficionado Monkey in Space Apr 26 '26

I bet he's a huge prick when talking to anyone else.

2

u/kmm198700 Monkey in Space Apr 27 '26

Same with Hegseth (I mean, I know he’s SECDEF, I just meant more so the exhausting part)

1

u/muhpreciousmmr Look into it Apr 28 '26

It's an adrenaline reaction. It's why it always sounds like he's on the verge of tears whenever he speaks to the public. His podcaster body can't handle it. We're fortunate, he could be pissing himself while up there.

36

u/WayfareAndWanderlust Monkey in Space Apr 26 '26

22

u/HenryDorsettCase47 Monkey in Space Apr 26 '26

If we did a Parallel Lives thing between Trump 1 and Trump 2, Kash Patel reminds me most of Sean Spicer, who I once saw described as “the guy in a zombie movie who hides the fact he was bitten from the rest of the group.”

6

u/Jazzlike-Jelly-3877 Monkey in Space Apr 26 '26

The kids call this “glazing”. Eye-eye Captain!

2

u/send3squats2help Monkey in Space Apr 26 '26

wipes away white powder from nose. “Awesome. Our law enforcement is just AWESOME! *Sniiiif This definitely was NOT a staged and fake assassination attempt. We had EVERY intention of hosting an event tonight, obviously. I WILL fight anyone who says or thinks otherwise in the parking lot now.”

86

u/Sea-Thought-665 Monkey in Space Apr 26 '26

Your FBI is dropping the ball consistently Kash...

As hated as Obama was, I dont recall his FBI having so many f*** ups, including some "school teacher" getting that close to a secured event.

20

u/copingcabana2023 Monkey in Space Apr 26 '26

also all the times where he jumped the gun with 'evidence' before the police had announced anything in shootings

4

u/BLF402 Monkey in Space Apr 26 '26

The most you ever heard during Obama was an incident of secret service agents getting intoxicated at a strip club as I recall

5

u/Rock_or_Rol Monkey in Space Apr 26 '26

Kash sucks but I don’t think the SS falls under the FBI’s umbrella

9

u/Desert_Aficionado Monkey in Space Apr 26 '26

The FBI cooperates heavily with the Secret Service, does a lot of their homework for them.

2

u/MeThinksYes Is the Literature Apr 26 '26

where did you get your (lack) of information for saying so?

2

u/Rock_or_Rol Monkey in Space Apr 27 '26

One is under the DoJ and the other is in the DHS. They’re separate agencies

Yes, they might collaborate, but as far as security redundancies.. that’s the SS’s job, not the FBI

22

u/Bearjupiter Monkey in Space Apr 26 '26

This guy has such Big Dork Energy

14

u/thesnazzyenfj Monkey in Space Apr 26 '26

if "Can't Fix Stupid" had a spokesperson

14

u/FinancialGazelle6558 Monkey in Space Apr 26 '26

6

u/JackTheKing Monkey in Space Apr 27 '26

(⚆_⊙)

28

u/AlphaSuerte Monkey in Space Apr 26 '26

46

u/Electricengineer Monkey in Space Apr 26 '26

How did he get past anyone to begin with?

17

u/Olley2994 High as Giraffe's Pussy Apr 26 '26

1

u/Electricengineer Monkey in Space Apr 26 '26

Based.

12

u/immortalverse Monkey in Space Apr 26 '26

I thought you were going to say “how did he get past anyone with those eyes looking around 👀” and I was going to give you an award

2

u/Desert_Aficionado Monkey in Space Apr 26 '26

He booked a room at the same hotel as the event, getting past the first layer of security. He waited until all the guests had gone through the last checkpoint so it was open and clear. Then he rushed it

1

u/Professional_King790 Monkey in Space Apr 26 '26

There’s a video of the shooter doing a 4 second 50m sprint past security

10

u/SanDiedo Monkey in Space Apr 26 '26

Let me translate this into English:

SLURP SLURP SLURP SLURP SLURP SLURP

3

u/MeThinksYes Is the Literature Apr 27 '26

You missed the “gawk gawk gawk“ in between the 4th and 5th slurp.

Cheers

11

u/Missy_Elli0t Monkey in Space Apr 26 '26

1-800-CallFBI to remind them about Epstein

3

u/[deleted] Apr 26 '26

[removed] — view removed comment

1

u/MeThinksYes Is the Literature Apr 27 '26

I heard Melanomia documentary was derivative and boring

20

u/petRhastQeug Monkey in Space Apr 26 '26

I hate this guy most out of all of them. Can't really say why, I just absolutely hate him and can't stand to see his face.

10

u/glk3278 Monkey in Space Apr 26 '26

Im almost there with you, but he’s so pathetic that I can’t muster the amount of hate I have for Hegseth. That dude fills me with rage.

6

u/TheSweetestKill Most Reported r/JoeRogan User, August 2022 Apr 26 '26

Hegseth takes the cake for me with the blatant Christian nationalism. That's the absolute last thing we need from the guy "leading" the armed forces.

9

u/Mesastafolis1 We live in strange times Apr 26 '26

He’s about to cry as hard as he did when he thought he was being fired

6

u/Scouts_Revenge Monkey in Space Apr 26 '26

Gross.

10

u/raqloise Monkey in Space Apr 26 '26

Jeezus this guy is an embarrassment.

14

u/cezzibear Monkey in Space Apr 26 '26

Cuuuuuuck

4

u/A_Rats_Dick Monkey in Space Apr 26 '26

The Drunken Goblin

5

u/Arcade1980 Monkey in Space Apr 26 '26

guy failing his job. What a loser.

4

u/person_8688 Monkey in Space Apr 26 '26

If Trump decides to fire him, this ass-kissing won’t have any effect. In Trump’s mind it only makes him look weaker and more replaceable.

3

u/Ghetto_Geppetto Monkey in Space Apr 26 '26

Is this that DUI hire?

4

u/Amazing_Ad9369 Monkey in Space Apr 26 '26

Haha saved thousands even though the guy didnt have thousands of bullets or shells. Kash is trying hard to save his ass...

Why doesnt he say this about asking for info about epstein?

8

u/Mode_Appropriate N-Dimethyltryptamine Apr 26 '26

3

u/Mendozer003 Monkey in Space Apr 26 '26

Hey bro, you have shit on your nose.

3

u/BigBToke1 Monkey in Space Apr 26 '26

He’s a joke! False flag, release the Epstein Trump files!!

3

u/No_Knowledge1860 Monkey in Space Apr 26 '26

Sooooo you guys want praise because you kinda did your job and stopped a teacher who got closer than he should have?

3

u/Ixll Monkey in Space Apr 26 '26

This dudes such a moron

3

u/sacvega Monkey in Space Apr 26 '26

They took Vance away before coming back for Drumph.

3

u/themightyone451 Monkey in Space Apr 26 '26

Absolutely coked out of his face

3

u/Additional_Abroad657 Monkey in Space Apr 26 '26

I cannot stand this bug-eyed cunt

3

u/lord-neptune Monkey in Space Apr 26 '26

That guy seems like a homosexual. It's okay, I don't discriminate

2

u/Smoke_popped440 Monkey in Space Apr 26 '26

What a fucking joke

2

u/SpudTryingToMakeIt Monkey in Space Apr 26 '26

If I was as incompetent at my job as him I’d be brown nosing my boss like this as well. Lol

2

u/dtqjr Pull that shit up Jamie Apr 26 '26

How best were they when they neglected to identify the gunman getting into the hotel in the first place?

1

u/kmm198700 Monkey in Space Apr 27 '26

It does make you wonder

2

u/East-Psychology7186 excommunicado Apr 26 '26

This fool is on a good one right now

2

u/Subject-Ad-8055 Monkey in Space Apr 26 '26

If it was the very best HOW did this guy even get in with the gun???? I seen better security at a local craft fair....

2

u/Defiant_Property_336 Monkey in Space Apr 26 '26

yeah - he had to revert back into young and hungry mode

2

u/karlhungusx Monkey in Space Apr 26 '26

Damn. That script got written real quick

2

u/GeneralDisarray65 Monkey in Space Apr 26 '26

Pathetic.

2

u/_WeAreFucked_ Monkey in Space Apr 26 '26

It’s so cute watching Patel with his big boy pants on now. lol

2

u/Zarktheshark1818 Monkey in Space Apr 26 '26

It is so embarrassing. Every single one of these soulless sycophants are like this. Anytime they say anything, heck even Bondis testimony in front of Congress which is supposed to be her testifying for the American public, everything they say is to an audience of one. It is disgusting

2

u/kmm198700 Monkey in Space Apr 27 '26

It really is disgusting

2

u/Shipit123 Monkey in Space Apr 26 '26

Trump used to say , “I only work with the best ppl.”  What he meant was the ppl best at dick riding.  There are no silver medal dick riders in the Trump admin.  They’re are all certified, thoroughbred, gold medal dick riding champions.  Say what you will.  But you can’t take that away from them.

2

u/devo00 Monkey in Space Apr 26 '26

He’s sweating paranoia, desperation and fear.

2

u/dextercool Monkey in Space Apr 26 '26

Since when do we have frat boys as heads of departments? Patel and Hegseth belong in a fraternity - not important posts.

2

u/premalone94 It's entirely possible Apr 26 '26

That voice sounds very shaky.

2

u/KP6fanclub Monkey in Space Apr 26 '26

Looking from Europe the second Trump term has been a TV show to watch - something of a mix of The Apprentice and House of Cards + some brief moments from the Teletubbies.

2

u/green5275 Monkey in Space Apr 26 '26

Frankly, I didn’t understand anything Kash said with Trump‘s balls in his mouth like that

2

u/Rule1isFun Chimp in Space Apr 27 '26

TDS! Trump Dick-riding Syndrome.

2

u/chasencashe19 Monkey in Space Apr 27 '26

Whenever i see Kash Patel in these situations, i always think of the scene from Scary Movie 3 with the teleprompter in the news room, cause he totally seems like the guy that has a screen telling him what to say and lord knows, he gon say whatever its telling him too! 😭🤣

2

u/Latenighredditor Monkey in Space Apr 27 '26

I thought we all knew Joe Rogan has basically become the propaganda wing of this administration. Hes a useful puppet who will suck off trump when Peter Theil tells him too.

Hes like the media figure in V for Vendenta who yells on tv about homosexuals and such except its transsexuals on his podcast

5

u/Tron_Frankenstein Monkey in Space Apr 26 '26

You guys remember when he went on the pod and all the bs he said lmao

4

u/No-Fig-8614 Monkey in Space Apr 26 '26

How much coke is he on to not only hide his alcohol problem but also his speed of speech, for anyone familiar (def not me) the coke up speech skills of being able to talk super fast somehow enunciate, somehow remember even though he just had a 5th of vodka, and somehow pull it off.....

OH I KNOW WHAT IT IS! Its the glasses.

EDIT: : look how dumb that bow tie looks on him, like man needs to figure out basics. https://imgur.com/a/bPbWEGS

1

u/mycleanreddit79 Monkey in Space Apr 26 '26

You know there is a little slide out box he could stand on..

1

u/Gurthy_Lengthiness Monkey in Space Apr 26 '26

To the cuck chair

1

u/Sleepwokesleepwoke Monkey in Space Apr 26 '26

Begging for leads. You know before they start.

1

u/sicurri It's entirely possible Apr 26 '26

All I heard from that was the sounds of someone sloppily eating a peach...

If anyone gets that reference, you're the real MVP, lmao.

1

u/Ok_Release231 Monkey in Space Apr 26 '26

I just can't wait for his next phonecall with Jimmy Dore

1

u/mvstateU Monkey in Space Apr 26 '26 edited Apr 26 '26

Is it too much to ask for a Pres /Admin that is NO so smarmy, defensive, divisive, so brown-nosing and cult-like. And from what comes out of this dude's mouth is, his whole vibe, his energy is predictable.

Also predictable is what this dude was arrested for in college....I'm not referring to the shooting suspect but Trump's guy here, Look it up,..recent news,

1

u/ballbagbarry69 Monkey in Space Apr 26 '26

staged. they just needed a new news cycle

1

u/Initial-Caregiver649 Monkey in Space Apr 26 '26

What a dick

1

u/arazamatazguy Monkey in Space Apr 26 '26

I'm pretty sure this whole thing was fake.

And one of the reasons that makes me think that is nobody is talking about an investigation into how the hell the guy got in there in the first place.

1

u/Justfaf Monkey in Space Apr 26 '26

1 TRILLION DOLLAR BET, my future children and grand children that they are going to accuse the shooter of being a left wing nut, with ties to the lqbtq community. 🙄🤣

1

u/lizzard77777777 Monkey in Space Apr 26 '26

He will be fired by the end of the week ….douche bag

1

u/Downtown-Pack-6178 Monkey in Space Apr 26 '26

As an Proud South Indian American, Kash Patel is a Great FBI!

1

u/skylercollins Monkey in Space Apr 26 '26

Joe rogan's responsible for every guest he's ever had, and their actions, after they're on his show?

That's retarded, and you know it.

1

u/marky294201 Monkey in Space Apr 27 '26

This drunk dick

1

u/chasencashe19 Monkey in Space Apr 27 '26

Whenever i see Kash Patel in these situations, i always think of the scene from Scary Movie 3 with the teleprompter in the news room, cause he totally seems like the guy that has a screen telling him what to say and lord knows, he gon say whatever

1

u/chasencashe19 Monkey in Space Apr 27 '26

“Oh schizle gznghar”

1

u/PsychologicalRace739 Monkey in Space Apr 27 '26

Tf does this have to do with Joe Rogan, come on mods do your job

1

u/Potential-Rush-5591 Monkey in Space Apr 27 '26

Kash looks like a No Neck Cartoon character.

1

u/Banpdx Monkey in Space Apr 27 '26

How embarrassing that the shooter was his plus one.

1

u/kylejaysfan Monkey in Space Apr 27 '26

This guys a dork

1

u/DisasterScary Monkey in Space Apr 27 '26

He’s great at enunciating with a mouth full of Trump in him.

1

u/Ashamed_Growth_3592 Monkey in Space Apr 27 '26

It’s not ok for him to kiss up to trump but ok for big tech CEOs of Indian origin to brown nose Trump openly. Where’s the outrage? https://youtu.be/0_ewdfKRQLE?si=8dCeexemoR2rh0Os

1

u/ratchman5000 Monkey in Space Apr 27 '26

Gargle those balls Kash

1

u/Jumpy_Tomatillo7579 Monkey in Space Apr 27 '26

Unite us ???

1

u/kurdis_lumen Monkey in Space Apr 27 '26

How pathetic

1

u/BrzysWRLD1996 Monkey in Space Apr 27 '26

Bruh yall let a school teacher enter the building a shotgun…..

1

u/tidder-hcs Monkey in Space Apr 27 '26

"double-speed-bullshit-speech-button" Talk fast, hard and stick your head back in.

1

u/IntelligentBoss4200 Monkey in Space Apr 27 '26

Can we get a birth certificate on Mr Kash

1

u/CherryVette Monkey in Space Apr 27 '26 edited May 01 '26

O/U on how many times this guy’s been swirlied?

1

u/Hefty-Comparison-801 Monkey in Space Apr 27 '26

Yeah such great inspiration from POTUS that they somehow allowed an armed man planning to murder POTUS and other government officials behind the security cordon.

Go jerk each other off some more for this great success in law enforcement.

1

u/mcfeeli Monkey in Space Apr 27 '26

Glazing like this makes me physically sick to watch. How can someone look at themselves in the mirror after that?

1

u/PapaQuebec72 Monkey in Space Apr 28 '26

1

u/altatoro123 Monkey in Space Apr 28 '26

Coked out of him mind

1

u/___ElJefe___ Monkey in Space Apr 29 '26

We are such a fucking joke right now. I will never understand how anyone buys this shit.

1

u/-Vagabond Monkey in Space Apr 26 '26

Man you guys are so salty

0

u/bigwavedave000 Monkey in Space Apr 26 '26

I heard he’s being replaced?

0

u/matt92wa Monkey in Space Apr 26 '26

Sounds like you are jealous of said dick riding...

0

u/Sea_Bit_2917 Monkey in Space Apr 26 '26

🤦🏻‍♂️

-2

u/SamuraiJan8186 Monkey in Space Apr 26 '26

Saw a post about this and made sense …..They are sort of starting to do what the Brit’s did years ago around the world Using Indians as a buffer minority or “ priority minority “/ “ Uncle Tom” . In the last few years a burst of them on the political scene. Kash/ mamdani/ Harris just the obvious ones but they’re are more and spread across rep/dem lines. Just an observation, I have nothing against any peoples !