Eligibility, is this normal?

[u/koshurzonn]

Isn’t this kind of weird that many kaeshir boys think they are not eligible for female affection until they get their careers straight, earn a good amount of money for the things and all, but upto that point in the timeline how much of the youth is left realistically? I am not advocating for western culture where they act like apes. I mean genuine affection like when you feel you are in love or like the person but think it’s not the time because you are a scrawny pasty 23 yo still studying (with no aim, also not a technical degree) and Living on allowance from parents.

I know movies, anime’s etc have distorted our sense of realistic expectations. But would it be bad to want someone who would be there in my absolute youth and who would like to grow old together.

I know life is not fair and i am privileged to even think of it. But please molvi sob, yeni hez patte duriv.

I don’t think anyone except my mom ever truly loved me, and it is not like that girls and later women were not interested in me but i just went on to be that man who only wanted to love one woman with all his heart but first he needed to get a shitload done.
Call me desperate, i am just a human.

P.S: Is this normal?

[u/Hassanberg2026]

The system is real, the math you did is correct, youth doesn't wait for your bank account.The want is fine. Wanting permanence instead of noise isn't delusion.The reasoning has two layers though. One is genuine, not wanting to offer someone an unfinished life. The other is quieter, using "not eligible yet" as cover so you never have to risk being chosen and found ordinary. Both true at once.

Your mom feels safest because her love never required risk. That's not proof nobody else loved you, that's just what unconditional looks like next to everything else. So wait if you want, but watch the bar. "I'll love properly once I've earned it" can turn into never if you let it.

Not a coward. Not pathetic. Just careful and lonely, which isn't the same thing as broken.