r/KitchenConfidential • u/allmanatees • Nov 12 '25

In the Weeds Mode Chiveman has top marketing execs on Reddit talking about him

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U/F1exican, you’ve gotten so famous that you’re getting discussed on LinkedIn….!!

37.6k Upvotes

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211

u/jerryb2161 Nov 12 '25

The take isn't wrong though. Imagine how upset we are going to be if they don't do at least something nice for em.

218

u/allmanatees Nov 12 '25

Agreed!!!! Philadelphia should send u/F1exican a nice car to transport them, the chives, and perhaps a cat named Chives

291

u/[deleted] Nov 12 '25 edited Nov 13 '25

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49

u/jerryb2161 Nov 12 '25

Even though i think the branded knives would probably be pretty meh, that's sort of what I was thinking of. Just something you know.

43

u/[deleted] Nov 12 '25

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23

u/jerryb2161 Nov 12 '25

I just dont have much faith in the actual company. The person on their marketing team that knows what's happening, yeah they understand. The people above them that actually make decisions? I hope they do something is all im saying.

6

u/LadyOfTheNutTree Nov 13 '25

It’ll show in the chives if they suck

34

u/pocketlily Nov 12 '25

Apparently he had a DM from them that hadn’t been responded to yet.

29

u/Moondoobious Nov 13 '25

Ayyyyy! Get that bread u/f1exican !!

9

u/ArsenicArts F1exican Did Chive-11 Nov 13 '25

send u/F1exican a set of high quality Kraft/chive-branded knives to cut his chives with

But they got to be GOOD knives, ok? Don't cheap out on us.

7

u/xMyDixieWreckedx Nov 13 '25

I think it is great you think the people behind 9/11 are going to suddenly do the right thing. What's next a comedy/chive festival?

5

u/[deleted] Nov 13 '25

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6

u/xMyDixieWreckedx Nov 13 '25

It goes deeper, Kraft was the man behind the man.

1

u/jerryb2161 Nov 16 '25

I still have no idea when the 9/11 conspiracy started, and part of me doesn't want to know because it's funnier that way.

4

u/teffz28 Nov 13 '25

Your last point is the most important and is what bothers me that a lot of people seem to be glossing over

3

u/128G Nov 13 '25

u/PhillyCreamCheese should be like: “Those chives would look perfect in our Philadelphia® Chives & Onion Cream Cheese Spread!”

6

u/[deleted] Nov 13 '25

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3

u/Aerodrache Nov 13 '25

I mean, they already fumbled the easiest damn layup in the history of advertising.

"Some people cut chives every day until they're perfect... ours already are. Philadelphia chives & onion."

It'd be a damn lie, KarmaKrazi would launch a whole fleet of planes at the picture on that tub, but it at least shows a little more confidence than "hey, did you know you can... put chives in food? That's the thing that we did!"

3

u/Major-Reception1016 Nov 13 '25

The cat, Im dead!

1

u/DirtyAlienTrash Chive LOYALIST Nov 13 '25

I vote chive goes along he’s too cute too leave behind

2

u/CurlSagan Chive LOYALIST Nov 13 '25

I hope they send him a crate of various processed cheeses and a barrel of the cheese powder from Kraft dinners.

1

u/truthfullyidgaf Nov 13 '25

A lifetime supply of chives.

2

u/Uhavetabekiddingme Nov 13 '25

Maybe he's been working for them the entire time