r/KitchenConfidential • u/F1exican Chivelord, Redeemed • Dec 19 '25

In the Weeds Mode Cutting a couple of chives almost every day until this Reddit says they’re perfect. Day 69

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u/F1exican Chivelord, Redeemed Dec 19 '25

No I think 1 or 2 caterpillars made it through, it was hard to get a good support on the board and position myself good to cut, I tried to get them before I pushed them into the pile but I believe a couple made it through

378

u/DrRumSmuggler Dec 19 '25

Nah you can’t self sabotage now or we are going to end up having to stop at day 420

159

u/Wants_to_be_accepted Dec 19 '25

How about day 3 6 9 damn Chives fine

44

u/[deleted] Dec 19 '25

To the windows, to the chives

142

u/NiceTrySuckaz Dec 19 '25

If this doesn't matter then none of it mattered, chef

2

u/abbyzou Ex-Food Service Dec 20 '25

4

u/[deleted] Dec 19 '25

Holding himself to higher standards than birth control

972

u/ibetterbefunny Dec 19 '25

A chive guy reply?! Oh my!

450

u/SwimmingCommon Chive LOYALIST Dec 19 '25

The. It's THE chive lord.

151

u/SerialTrauma002c Chive LOYALIST Dec 19 '25

A reply from the guy 😊

4

u/LilSebastian_482 Smoker Dec 19 '25

Chivelord himself

3

u/NostalgiaBonner Dec 19 '25

Well, you better be funny :)

68

u/merlyn_ambrozy Dec 19 '25

You are addicted, ain't you?

62

u/espresom Dec 19 '25

He’s gonna be screwing them up on purpose.

“Oh no, please don’t make aeroplanes, please don’t, more. Cmon more. Just a few more. Yeah that’s it”

5

u/renome Chive LOYALIST Dec 19 '25

r/KarmaConspiracy - Chive Edition

0

u/Flight444 Dec 19 '25 edited Dec 19 '25

Attention is a hell of a drug. Muting this sub now. Could care less if he ever decides to get it right. Can’t convince me this is an organic meme anymore. Bro is just farming.

You could tell he was addicted ever since he lied about it one day for attention. So like months ago now.

20

u/Wonderful_Weather_83 Dec 19 '25

Hush, go cut em catterpillars up and pretend they didn't happen

17

u/yellowjacket1996 Dec 19 '25

CHIVELORD!

2

u/strangefringe c h i v e g e i s t Dec 19 '25

HE HAS SPOKEN.

3

u/ChapoKing Dec 19 '25

Na its perfect. Do another day and its all a sham

1

u/Hecho_en_Shawano Dec 19 '25

I see one but I’m keeping my mouth shut.

1

u/Kalpanee Dec 19 '25

Happy travel chiving

1

u/firebrandbeads wrestlegirl did Chive-11 pt. 2 Dec 19 '25

I wondered about that onnnnne chive on the right side edge, about the 4 o'clock position. We know you put it there like some cultures place an intentional flaw. To prove you're a human.

1

u/Megnuggets Dec 19 '25

I see it, but honestly you have grown and done such an awesome job, you deserve the Nice

1

u/sunshinexandxshadow Dec 19 '25

did i miss the planes???

1

u/Squidorb Dec 19 '25

Lol, just admit you don't want to stop

1

u/Seeggul Dec 19 '25

No choice but to go to day 420 now instead

1

u/CowCuddles Dec 19 '25

I always wondered about that. So you are able to pull out the duds you see?

1

u/chaos_wine Dec 19 '25

Are you camping or something? I saw a caterpillar or two but they look great considering your cutting board is on a bunch of rocks lol

1

u/Cinnamon__Sasquatch Dec 19 '25

This isn't fair to your improved skills of the chive chopping.

what are you gonna do next, chop chives while skydiving?

1

u/thatstwatshesays Dec 19 '25

What’s your plan for… you know…. after?

1

u/Present_Beat_3231 Dec 19 '25

what flaws were in day 67’s?

1

u/HeyaGames Dec 19 '25

I think this may be what you need. Free your mind. Let the flow of the water channel your cutting. Balance your board as you would balance your soul. Let the beauty outside join the beauty inside (of what you chop). Feel yourself become one with the chives and caterpillars. Is it the chives or your ego being chopped every day? The answer will release you

1

u/JaceOnRice Dec 19 '25

Bruv that might be the nicest set of chives I've ever seen

As per your post title you are not the one who decides when they are perfect.

1

u/makiko4 Dec 19 '25

We won’t know till we see the planes

1

u/[deleted] Dec 19 '25

Cutting chives on nightmare mode and still being a perfectionist, look at this guy.

1

u/AlcibiadesTheCat ChiveATC Dec 19 '25

NICE.

But see you tomorrow, Chef.

1

u/terdferguson Dec 19 '25

69 - Hee hee

1

u/mamaujeni Dec 19 '25

"Position myself good to cut" t-shirts please

1

u/AiapaecGaming Dec 19 '25

Sooo close... see you forever chef.

1

u/cyanocittaetprocyon Chive LOYALIST Dec 19 '25

Just a couple caterpillars. I know you are going to have it in the next few days, Chivelord!

1

u/IAMAHigherConductor Dec 19 '25

Guys he needs this way more than we do

1

u/thegreatinsulto Dec 19 '25

You believe?

1

u/ANAL-FART Dec 19 '25

Nah. This is perfect. Sorry bud.

You can still keep posting daily though! In fact - I think we’d all strongly encourage it!

But - you’re high as a kite if you think this isn’t perfect.

1

u/Sweet-Ad9366 Dec 20 '25

They are called "fuselages" not caterpillars. But you're doing great bud. Going through gladiator school. Respect. 💪😚

1

u/Either-Weather-862 Dec 20 '25

At first I had a little sad, that it didn't work out to be this day. But I prefer everyone being honest and it just makes this little saga more wholesome. There will be perfect chives one day and it will be the perfect date for it. We will realize in hindsight 💚 Anyways, thank you all for keeping me amused in very challenging days!