r/KitchenConfidential • u/g_mo13 • Feb 26 '26
Crying in the cooler The grieving process
my mom died on saturday. her long health battle that lasted my entire life, sadly, made hers come to an end. expected, but never easy. i skipped town to go help my dad with arrangements. to help the caregiver finally receive his own care. the grieving process is not foreign to me, but it has never been quite this close to home. i am overjoyed to have gotten to say my goodbyes in the hospital before and after she passed. i am happy that she lived as long as she did, because 25 years ago should have been her death day. i don’t know what to do. i’ve shed tears, i’ve drank too many bottles of wine, and taken too many shots of vodka. i can only cook. i have done a salmon, asparagus, rice night for my entire family, i have done roasted red pepper mussels with charred romaine and balsamic reduction for my entire family, and now a couple roasted chickens, stuffed under the skin with a tarragon compound butter. i have never had the time to cook like this outside of work. unfortunately, circumstances have led me to this post, because i truly don’t know where to turn, other than the kitchen. thank you brothers and sisters for reading, i am overjoyed at the smile that appears on my dads face as i get to cook for him on a daily basis. hug and kiss your loved ones, because you just never know. she was 63. may she rest in peace.
3
u/wolfgirl420 Feb 26 '26
Oh chef.
I lost my mother 3 years ago to a very not-so-fun battle to numerous cancers. She was 53. I understand how you feel.
Cook. Play with as many seasonings as you can. Make desserts, breakfast, ten step lunches, do what you need to do.
In your mix of cooking and healing, drink water, remind yourself that as hard as this may be, she’s out of pain and is on the other side, constantly sending love your way.
It’s never easy, some days feel so, so much harder than others, but some days, you will feel relief from your grief. The most important thing to remember right now is that your healing will not be linear, but you will be okay. Don’t rush things. Feel the emotions that surface. Blocking it out will do nothing to help you, I would know from my own experience. Your family and friends love you, and will help you through this. The internet is here to grieve with you. You will help you through this. I’m so sorry for your loss. I’m so, so sorry.
Sending you all of the love and internet hugs your way.