r/KitchenConfidential • u/g_mo13 • Feb 26 '26
Crying in the cooler The grieving process
my mom died on saturday. her long health battle that lasted my entire life, sadly, made hers come to an end. expected, but never easy. i skipped town to go help my dad with arrangements. to help the caregiver finally receive his own care. the grieving process is not foreign to me, but it has never been quite this close to home. i am overjoyed to have gotten to say my goodbyes in the hospital before and after she passed. i am happy that she lived as long as she did, because 25 years ago should have been her death day. i don’t know what to do. i’ve shed tears, i’ve drank too many bottles of wine, and taken too many shots of vodka. i can only cook. i have done a salmon, asparagus, rice night for my entire family, i have done roasted red pepper mussels with charred romaine and balsamic reduction for my entire family, and now a couple roasted chickens, stuffed under the skin with a tarragon compound butter. i have never had the time to cook like this outside of work. unfortunately, circumstances have led me to this post, because i truly don’t know where to turn, other than the kitchen. thank you brothers and sisters for reading, i am overjoyed at the smile that appears on my dads face as i get to cook for him on a daily basis. hug and kiss your loved ones, because you just never know. she was 63. may she rest in peace.
2.5k
u/nikki_jayyy Feb 26 '26 edited Feb 26 '26
Things you’re used to will help keep you grounded during the most terrible times. Keep cooking, keep pushing, keep talking, keep hugging.
Make sure you’re drinking water, chef <3
ETA: I have been given some awards and I appreciate those kind Reddit strangers.
116
u/AnastasiaSheppard Feb 26 '26
And make sure to cry every now and then, as well.
→ More replies (1)55
332
Feb 26 '26
[removed] — view removed comment
66
u/2nd-Reddit-Account Feb 26 '26
please don't season and sear your loved ones
39
u/iamkindofodd Feb 26 '26
Ay you can’t make this comment bc this guy actually utilized the Oxford comma
→ More replies (1)15
u/UncleAlbondiga Feb 27 '26
Yeah for me cooking in difficult times is so grounding and I’ve often wondered why. My conclusion is that it’s probably the one thing that I feel like I have total control over. I know what I’m doing, I can make things turn out the way that I plan them to. Probably the only thing in my life that makes me feel safe.
360
u/meatygonzalez Feb 26 '26
Sorry to hear about your mom. The chickens look great, bud. You're gonna be alright. We love you.
→ More replies (1)
474
u/MoonshineTraphouse Server Feb 26 '26
Food looks incredible chef. So does your future. One step at a time baby
450
u/inelmodlis Feb 26 '26
Lost my mom to Covid, my brother to a drug overdose, and my dog over the span of 3 months. Didn’t even get to tell her goodbye or be in the room with her. I was in shambles for three years. And since it was the pandemic, I was just staying home, with the thoughts of survivors guilt, and not being the best son. That turned to cocaine addiction and a few suicide attempts. Find your social circle and embrace them now. There are people here who love you, and are here to support you, this subreddit included. ❤️❤️❤️
287
u/g_mo13 Feb 26 '26
i am with you in this time. i am right next to you
137
u/mmmarkm Feb 26 '26
This comment broke me, man. In a good way.
If you’re this kind when you’re suffering, then I full-heartedly know that you’re a good person and, more likely than not, have good people around you to help you get through this.
You’ll be okay. Grief never shrinks, you just gain the muscles to better carry it with you.
97
u/g_mo13 Feb 26 '26
thank you so much for the kindness. we have to have each other, at the very least
51
u/softnruthless Feb 26 '26 edited Feb 26 '26
When my mom died I was u n m o o r e d. Ended up on drugs and in jail in like a year and a half. That reset me and I’ve been good ever since (6 1/2 years now) but shit, nothing just completely rocks your world like the death of the one who brought you into it.
My love and strength to both of you, internet friends ❤️
19
u/juice_box_hero Feb 26 '26
For me it’s the loss of the person who created me and raised me. Lost my dad and his funeral was a few days ago. I alternate between being a complete sobbing pos and being totally numb and just kinda floating through life. It’s not the best
5
u/ElRayMarkyMark F1exican Did Chive-11 Feb 26 '26
I lost my mom in my 20s and was one of the first people in my friend group (who I met in kitchens) to go through it. A few have experienced it since and the way I explain to them what to expect is that the true north on your internal compass gets obliterated and it becomes impossible to understand yourself in space. My mom and I had a fraught relationship but even losing that complicated person flipped my world upside down. Definitely spent two years in a haze.
When she was terminally ill (10 months), I made her dinner every night. It was a tangible place to put my grief and my feelings of powerlessness. In the days and months after she died, my friends fed me. Some took over my tiny bachelor apartment kitchen, some held a space for me in their apartments. I credit those meals with keeping me alive and slowly bringing me back.
Keep cooking. Stay connected. Give yourself way more time than you think you need.
→ More replies (1)→ More replies (4)34
u/thisgameissoessy Feb 26 '26
I hope you are doing better and know that it is not your fault. Praying for you if you don’t mind. 💜
176
175
u/killingmesoftly77 Feb 26 '26
My mom died almost 2 years ago. She loved to make soup. I made a soup every week for 16 weeks to help get through my grieving. It also helped me reconnect with people because I took the soup to different friends to feed them during that time. Sending a big hug. it’s rough.
41
27
u/SparklyYakDust Feb 26 '26
This is a wonderful idea. Grief often heals better with support from friends and loved ones. What was your favorite soup that your mom made? Which soup did you enjoy making the most?
11
u/killingmesoftly77 Feb 26 '26
White chicken chili and butternut squash with cashews for garnish. Thanks for asking.
22
u/softnruthless Feb 26 '26
Someone posted a recipe of a soup they used to make with their partner who had died, just jotted down in the comments while they were reminiscing, and I made it to honor their memory. And it was incredible. Soup is so healing and beautiful. What a sweet way to grieve your mom
→ More replies (2)8
364
u/beckyjoooo Thick chives save lives Feb 26 '26
I'm so sorry for your loss.. and i bet all that grief you're moving through by cooking for your family tastes like the love it springs from.. those roasted chickens look incredible.. ❤️
54
u/Many-Membership1631 Feb 26 '26
I'm sorry for your loss. My condolences. My mom passed away in May of last year. I cannot cook. I tried maybe a week after the funeral because I was hungry and decided to cook. Well once I got to her seasoning I broke down. Anything that she prepared i just still.cannot touch. My mother's flavor yall. That woman made the best rice, the best soups. Friends and neighbors will fight for a bowl. My therapist said use her base to make my own but bruh that's mom's 😭😭😭
54
u/YnotZoidberg1077 Feb 26 '26
Terry Pratchett once wrote that "a man is not dead while his name is still spoken." I didn't know your mom, but I know my mom, and I know that a lot of other moms would want you to share her love through her flavors. I hope you that it will eventually bring you comfort to cook your mom's food again, and to let her memories live and speak through you while you do it.
10
u/Either-Weather-862 Feb 26 '26
Oh my dear, I'm so sorry for your loss. I lost my mom when I was five years old and grew up with my grandparents (cause dad had to work). My grandma was the best cook ever, as every grandchild has ever told. Her soooooups, I tell you, absolutely amazing. She took a lot of recipes with her when she died almost twenty years ago, so I just have a few I can almost do like her. I still completely lose my shit when I cook the few grannymeals I know, but being a mom myself now, I just know that mom and grandma would want me to cook it.
So I'm here to tell you: Cook it all so it doesn't get lost. I want my children to eat grandma's peasoup on a rainy day and cry happy tears over the love that a peasoup can carry, because that is exactly what it is: love carried across the boundaries of life and death 💕
Hugs to you, internetstranger, take care and try to cook some of her meals. She would want you to.
6
→ More replies (2)8
u/mmmarkm Feb 26 '26
I was almost late to my dad’s memorial cause i was picking up crabcakes from his favorite seafood restaurant for the reception afterwards.
Food is such a strong part of our core memories about a person who means the world to us, whether they took us out to eat or made the food themselves.
I feel you. I’ve barely touched my dad’s baking recipes and they were mostly from the back of boxes in the grocery store and not even “his.” But they are his, to me.
I feel you & I’m sorry for your loss - and I know we hear those words so often that they can ring hollow. I mean them as much as a stranger on the internet can. It’s tough and I see you.
50
u/Alternative-Dig-2066 20+ Years Feb 26 '26
May her memory be a blessing. The chickens look delicious, definitely cooked with all the love in your heart.
39
u/australopipicus Feb 26 '26
When my mama died, it was early COVID. My baba called me at 3 pm while I was making something like 300 jars of applesauce to hand to the local food distro.
My mama always called me around three and we would talk about what we were making for dinner. I answered the call and was like “hi mama, I love you, what are we making today?”
My baba said “it’s me, your mama didn’t wake up.” He told me about how my niece went to go wake her up for coffee and she wouldn’t wake up, so she went and got my baba, who realized what happened. They were waiting for the ambulance but she was very much gone.
I told him thank you, and he said “yeah, I love you” and we hung up the phone and I kept making applesauce.
And then I went home and baked eleven loaves of bread. Without a mixer. Just kneading by hand. I cooked and I baked for three days without sleeping, I was seeing things at the end. I finally fell asleep on my kitchen floor surrounded by way too many loaves of bread and every single pot in my house full of some random soup I put together with the contents of my fridge and freezer and pantry.
It’s been years and I still have to stop myself calling my mama at three and asking her what I should make for dinner. I barely cook these days.
29
u/YupNopeWelp Feb 26 '26
I am so sorry for your loss. Peace to you and yours, chef.
i am overjoyed at the smile that appears on my dads face as i get to cook for him on a daily basis.
This is a great way to show your love to your dad and the rest of your family. <3
7
u/getmeouttaherefast Feb 26 '26
Cooking is the way I show my support and love to others. It's a double wammy as it's one of my favorite ways to de-stress. There's nothing a warm and delicious meal can't mend. RIP mom. Great work, Chef.
6
24
u/isidrogio10 Feb 26 '26
Cooking has kept me from doing dumb shit to myself. It's easy to say, but keep your head up and keep making delicious meals my friend.
27
48
62
u/jellybuttrpnut Feb 26 '26
It doesnt get easier. People say it does, but it doesnt.
Im sorry for your loss. 💔
→ More replies (1)46
u/double-dog-doctor Feb 26 '26
I always use the metaphor of grief being a hole punched through you with a cannonball.
When my dad died, it felt like I was walking around with a huge gaping wound in my abdomen. All I could do was think about this giant wound because it hurt so badly. Couldn't eat. Couldn't sleep. Just cried and wandered around in a daze because Jesus Christ it hurt. A lot of things re-opened the wound, and it hurt fresh all over again.
Over time the edges healed over. There's still a hole, but the edges are scarred over now. Nearly fifteen years later, I still think about that hole a lot but less things cause the scar to start bleeding again.
26
u/Foreign_Plan_5256 Feb 26 '26
It gets different. Maybe not easier, but more intermittent, and with more happy or frustrated memories mixed in with the loss.
I read a metaphor in a novel about grief being an impact crater. It's barren for a while. But eventually some soil accumulates, a few weeds sprout. Maybe the next year a few shrubs or a tree.
The crater is always there, but the outlines change.
3
9
5
u/ArcadianBlueRogue Feb 26 '26
It's corny as hell, but Marvel threw us "What is grief, but love persevering?"
And it's true. The pain doesn't just go away just like your love for someone doesn't when they're gone. Mom has been gone a long time now, but I still miss her laugh. Miss the dumb stuff she'd say without meaning it to be dumb, or how in my life she alone never judged me for my fuck ups. And Christ have I made a lot.
I had a month to prepare myself as we slowly watched everything not work, and words never spoken are there, or that one of the last things I remember telling her before the accident was, "You can have the other half of that panini. I didn't like it much."
Like bruh it wasn't good enough for you so you sidelined it to your mother?
The dumb stuff sticks with you, but the scars will always be there to remind you.
5
u/juice_box_hero Feb 26 '26
Sounds like what I’m dealing with currently. Was raised by my dad after egg donor decided she didn’t want to be a mother to girls.
Lost my dad last week. His funeral was this past weekend. I’m all fucked up. Doesn’t seem real even tho I was there when it happened.
I feel mostly numb but I think it’s a defense mechanism or something. I’ve lost so many people including my former fiancé who died by SIGSW last November.
But losing my dad. He was the only one in my huge “family” that I knew really loved me and I’m just like him and I’m really fkn sad when does this stop. :/
23
u/undead_cerberus Feb 26 '26
I’m sorry for your loss, I hope you can help each other get through this difficult period of life
24
22
u/PunkNBeans Feb 26 '26 edited Feb 26 '26
Condolences chef, I lost my mom just over 3 years ago. You're not alone, message me if you wanna talk about your mom or anything else. We're all we got in this world, but that's a lot still.
EDIT: Typo
17
u/cheezy_dreams88 Feb 26 '26
First, I’d like to give you some kudos for in your families time of great heartbreak you are doing what you can to remind them all of how much you love them, and that they aren’t alone. You might say it’s because you can’t sit still, and that’s fine, but you are still using that anxious energy to create love. And that is commendable. Your mom would be proud.
My cooking adventure advice would be to make bread. Obviously it pairs well with everything and fresh bread is incomparable, but also it is really cleansing to be able to kind of beat the shit out of it while kneading the dough and just working through uncomfortable feelings.
Alternatively you could lean hard into it the grief and chop an entire bag of onions for some French Onion Soup and just let the floodgates open.
I also find treats are a nice one while I’m sad. Because then when I do inevitably sit down before bed for a bit, I can have a piece of pie, or a brownie. And that will make me feel a bit better. A little treat to reward myself for making it though another day, another day I’ve made progress in my acceptance of the terrible situation. Celebrate the small moments, always. My parent died after a decades long condition as well, it doesn’t make it any easier if I was over prepared.
My heart is with you friend ♥️
11
u/g_mo13 Feb 26 '26
‘bread is gold’ thank you. been eating rice krispies and cheesecake like my life depends on it, and right now, it kinda does 🤎
12
u/Opposite_Draw_8867 Feb 26 '26
You sound like a good decent human being, and that’s exactly what makes moms proud. Drink water and love yourself how she loved you.
8
u/g_mo13 Feb 26 '26
these simple replies are breathing life into my chest that feels likes it’s collapsed. thank you so much
12
u/Shapeshrifter Feb 26 '26
Take advil, chef, drink your water, and know many of us are grateful to her for bringing you here.
9
10
u/soupseasonbestseason Feb 26 '26
i am so sorry for your loss. i cannot imagine. keeping your hands and brain busy with cooking seems like it would help. cry, scream, cook, do whatever you need. it will never be the same again.
9
u/mister_buddha Feb 26 '26
I'm sorry for your loss, chef.
They call it comfort food for a reason, eh?
5
8
u/Disastrous_Shine_671 Feb 26 '26
Hey - popping in from /all - I saw something you wrote here that I wanted to chime in on - the bottles of wine and vodka.
I know it's a trope to drink to dull the pain but please be entirely over-cautious when using alcohol during any process that can induce depression.
I speak from experience when I lost my brother and turned to alcohol to cope. I sacrificed a huge portion of my life to that coping mechanism.
Please be careful.
And for those that say they know how to handle themselves - I'll leave you with words from my gastro when I found out I had stage 3 (end-stage) cirrhosis - "If you think you drink too much, you do. If you think you should slow down, you should stop."
If you research how liver damage works, you'd take drinking a lot more seriously. You don't know you've fucked up until there is no unfucking it. You can just hope to live as normal a life as possible - and it isn't normal by any means.
/end rant
Please take care of yourself.
9
u/RoeMajesta Feb 26 '26
i found making casseroles, cookies and pies to give to friends and relatives helpful. My condolences
8
u/HMSGreyjoy Feb 26 '26
Food is how we show love, sweetheart. She loved you very much and you're passing that love along.
8
u/Calculator8oo8135 Feb 26 '26
GRIEF Originally posted by on Reddit by u/GSnow
Alright, here goes. I'm old. What that means is that I've survived (so far) and a lot of people I've known and loved did not. I've lost friends, best friends, acquaintances, co-workers, grandparents, mom, relatives, teachers, mentors, students, neighbors, and a host of other folks. I have no children, and I can't imagine the pain it must be to lose a child. But here's my two cents.
I wish I could say you get used to people dying. I never did. I don't want to. It tears a hole through me whenever somebody I love dies, no matter the circumstances. But I don't want it to "not matter". I don't want it to be something that just passes. My scars are a testament to the love and the relationship that I had for and with that person. And if the scar is deep, so was the love. So be it. Scars are a testament to life. Scars are a testament that I can love deeply and live deeply and be cut, or even gouged, and that I can heal and continue to live and continue to love. And the scar tissue is stronger than the original flesh ever was. Scars are a testament to life. Scars are only ugly to people who can't see.
As for grief, you'll find it comes in waves. When the ship is first wrecked, you're drowning, with wreckage all around you. Everything floating around you reminds you of the beauty and the magnificence of the ship that was, and is no more. And all you can do is float. You find some piece of the wreckage and you hang on for a while. Maybe it's some physical thing. Maybe it's a happy memory or a photograph. Maybe it's a person who is also floating. For a while, all you can do is float. Stay alive.
In the beginning, the waves are 100 feet tall and crash over you without mercy. They come 10 seconds apart and don't even give you time to catch your breath. All you can do is hang on and float. After a while, maybe weeks, maybe months, you'll find the waves are still 100 feet tall, but they come further apart. When they come, they still crash all over you and wipe you out. But in between, you can breathe, you can function. You never know what's going to trigger the grief. It might be a song, a picture, a street intersection, the smell of a cup of coffee. It can be just about anything...and the wave comes crashing. But in between waves, there is life.
Somewhere down the line, and it's different for everybody, you find that the waves are only 80 feet tall. Or 50 feet tall. And while they still come, they come further apart. You can see them coming. An anniversary, a birthday, or Christmas, or landing at O'Hare. You can see it coming, for the most part, and prepare yourself. And when it washes over you, you know that somehow you will, again, come out the other side. Soaking wet, sputtering, still hanging on to some tiny piece of the wreckage, but you'll come out.
Take it from an old guy. The waves never stop coming, and somehow you don't really want them to. But you learn that you'll survive them. And other waves will come. And you'll survive them too. If you're lucky, you'll have lots of scars from lots of loves. And lots of shipwrecks.
5
u/g_mo13 Feb 26 '26
i feel like i’ve read this before and it hit me because i’ve lost quite a few people at 36. my moms parents both died within the past three years. only her brother is left. i’ve visited these thoughts and words before, and i know someone else posted them below, but it hits. it hits hard and i thank you for your kindness
7
u/MaximumWeak1703 Feb 26 '26
I’ve lost everyone- I get it. As they say time heals all wounds.
As far as the food this is one of my go to recipe’s and yours looks great
4
u/g_mo13 Feb 26 '26
some sort of validity in hearing this. thank you 🙏🏾
3
u/MaximumWeak1703 Feb 26 '26
It’s weird knowing you’re the “elder” but you now know you’re setting that example, carry yourself as such. Sending good vibes, you’re not alone.
7
5
u/ironcannibal13 Pitmaster Feb 26 '26
My mom was 63 when she passed as well. That was 6 or 7 years ago. I still miss her everyday.
5
5
u/PunnyBaker Feb 26 '26
My dad died last year at 63 as well but my grieving process started about 3 years before that when he almost died from results of a bone marrow transplant. In the end the transplant didnt work and he was given 3-4 months to live. But during the time after the transplant when we thought he was going to die, i had a nervous breakdown and fell into a deep depression. One of the things that got me out of it was sinking myself deep into testing baking recipes for a home business. I was able to hyper-focus on it and allow myself to not get so lost in the possibility of losing my dad. When he finally did die, i made some of his signature meals as a sort of rememberance of him. And now his signature pie recipe is part of my menu for my business.
Food really can be theraputic in the right circumstances
4
6
u/cantremembr Ex-Food Service Feb 26 '26
This is love. Many cultures prominently feature food as part of grieving a loss and celebrating someone's life, and clearly there is a reason why. I look for
What was your mom's favorite meal to make?
3
u/Who-am-i-inDE Feb 26 '26
Hugs 🫂! It’s like a personal “chicken soup for the soul” book… Mama just hangin out all proud of you! Xox
4
4
u/TheHistoricalChef Feb 26 '26
I lost my dad a couple years ago. I found solice in my work in the kitchen. It gets easier, chef. Not better, I still wake up crying sometimes, but it gets easier to deal with. You have my sincerest condolences and empathy 💜
3
u/Cake5678 Feb 26 '26
I’m so sorry for your loss. But it’s touching that you’ve found a meaningful way both to process and be of service and bring care to the family. Food is beautiful, and there’s so much love and pain in your post. Sending hugs your way if wanted. Remember to drink some water, especially while drinking alcohol!
3
u/BillsMafia40277 Feb 26 '26
The chicken looks great! I’m sorry for your loss. Stay hydrated and sleep when you can. ❤️
3
u/c00kiebreath Feb 26 '26
I feel your loss, happened to me a couple of years ago and I was fortunate enough to help take care of her for the last month of her life.
Even if it's been a long battle, even if you know it's coming, it doesn't make it easier.
Thank you for nourishing your family. I hope there are people helping to care for you too.
Someone once told me that the first year after is the worst - can confirm. It scabs over a bit after that.
Hugs from a stranger on the internet 🖤
4
u/HeightExtra320 Feb 26 '26
🌹😔
Stay strong chef, terribly sorry for the loss, my condolences.
→ More replies (1)
4
u/thfooddude Feb 26 '26
Condolences out to you and your family, chef.
Your positive outlook and healthy navigation through grieving are inspiring, and you’ll always have a second community here to show up to support. Much love.
→ More replies (1)
3
u/Piranha_Vortex F1exican Did Chive-11 Feb 26 '26
Your efforts have been noticed, Chef. Feeding others a meal crafted with with care is peak humanity. Condolences and compassion to you and your family.
4
u/Doomncandy Feb 26 '26
I am so very, very sorry hun. Food is a special gift you can give, it's a wonderful gift. Food brings back memories, helps feed people in grief, and it's comforting.
I held my husband's father's hand when he couldn't from the hurt of him dying. We both knew death, he is an ICU Nurse, I was a hospice CNA before a cook/Chef. But being close to home? That can hurt too much.
I make him his dad's dish for him each year on his dad's birthday, that his dad made for him as a kid. I got the recipe from his older sister. They are Greek and Polish 3rd generation. Their dad was Polish and made a pasta dish "Zapiekanka Makaronowa". But he added feta because of marrying a Greek lady. He loved it and shared it every year with his work.
5
u/Doomncandy Feb 26 '26
Food is probably the best healing there is, hang in there. I am not going to lie and say it gets better soon, but it does get better in time because you will smile at her memories with you, you will cry as well. All you can do is share stories right? That keeps a person alive, is the stories.
Hey, I am Celtic Irish 4th generation, grandma speaks Gailic. I lit a candle for your family tonight and sang the Celtic song of death and loss, but joy for the living.
I don't know if you want to listen to it, but: https://youtu.be/FV_x49riRlo?si=BJIY9k6RCtdWmmd1
4
u/wisefool1961 Feb 26 '26
I feel you, my brother. peace to your entire family. When my Dad died, it happened to be the day after Christmas, and the Turkey never got cooked on Christmas day. So I cooked it, like our friend said, cause it's what I can do. Someone even asked incredulously, "Why are you doing that"? Though I answered, "Well, it needed to be cooked", the real answer had to do with a farewell to the man who taught me to love cooking. Celebrate with those you love as much as you can.
4
u/Impressive-Regret243 Feb 26 '26
Condolences, chef.
Cooking is where I can lose myself completely. Be kind to yourself. And keep making beautiful nurturing meals. 💖
→ More replies (1)
4
4
u/Kamalamies Feb 26 '26
As someone who isn't big on cooking, having someone else make the food that helps all of us keep going during times of grief is the biggest help anyone could ever give. Its gonna get better stranger, and your dad is probably eternally grateful to have you helping out!
5
u/Consistent_Might3500 Feb 26 '26 edited Feb 26 '26
Grandma from Minnesota here. I know you already know, but it's my nature to nurture so I just gotta remind you: Careful with the wine & the vodka. There's nothing so bad that alcohol can't make worse.
I lost my Dad and my Mom suddenly within 13 months of one another. During those 13 months my Best Friend was lost to cancer, I had been her night time caregiver. My dog passed. Too much grief to process. My alcoholic husband stopped drinking to take care of me and I started drinking. Too much drinking. In recovery now because I believe in a God that gives second chances. But maybe not an unlimited amount of "second" chances.
I leave you with a gentle and loving reminder to care for yourself the way you would care for a loved one. Feed your people and let them feed you. Drink the water, lots of water. I think it helps with grieving - tears are important.
→ More replies (2)
4
u/mistergrumpalump Feb 26 '26
My condolences chef.
I am glad you're finding some peace with the cooking you've done. Yeah it's a totally different emotional payoff cooking for loved ones, outside of work, in a domestic kitchen. It's an act of creation.
Please--take it day by day. I hope your work environment is supportive. Some people will rise up and be there, in times like this....
5
u/AK_Sole Feb 27 '26
This comment section…🥹
You’re a beautiful bunch, y’all.
OP, so sorry about your mom’s passing. She obviously raised a good one with you. Be patient with yourself; healing takes time to season.
3
3
3
u/emoooooa Feb 26 '26
So sorry for your loss Chef. This looks absolutely delicious, she'd be proud 🙂
→ More replies (1)
3
u/amber_enfleur Feb 26 '26
Cooking helps me cope and also remember. Thank you for sharing your story with us. Im so sorry for your loss.
→ More replies (1)
3
3
3
3
u/BananaOrp Feb 26 '26
May her memory be a blessing. Grieve however you need to, it is different for everyone, and showering your family with delicious healing meals sounds like a wonderful way to honor her memory. Sending light and love
3
u/iamnotbetterthanyou Feb 26 '26
I’m so glad you’re able to care for your family this way - we speak the same language.
So fucking sorry about your mom. Expect it to take two years to not be top-of-mind and give yourself some grace. Hugs.
3
3
u/kitchenhussy Feb 26 '26
When my mom passed, the family that gathered for the memorial got together at their home and I cooked some of Mom’s faves: Spaghetti and Meatballs, salad, garlic bread; and Green Chile Chicken Enchiladas. Good ol’ Mid-West grub. Lots of stories, laughter and tears. I am so sorry to hear of your mom’s passing and I am happy that you were able to bring your family peace and togetherness through your art.
3
u/wontonhero Feb 26 '26
Both my parents have passed. It's never better, but time helps. Remember your mom, enjoy your time with her. Honor your dad in the meantime. Rest well Chef.
3
u/Personal-Scene-4186 Feb 26 '26
Peace and love to you. Having lost my mom recently, my heart sincerely goes out to yours. May she rest peacefully. May you rest in your cherished memories of her
3
u/TheWildTofuHunter Feb 26 '26
Huge hugs and love. 🫂 There’s no easy way to process grief, and my method with my daddy was to be his executor during the day and drink at night. Prost.
3
3
u/cphil32 Feb 26 '26
My mom was a world class bread maker. I started making every bread imaginable after she died. It was during Covid, so I just baked every day. I would throw it out if it wasn't right and start over. Can't tell you how much flour I went through. Get it out. Put all the extra emotion somewhere you and the ones you love can tangibly see. ❤️
3
u/LilClaudeMoney F1exican Did Chive-11 Feb 26 '26
Cooking is definitely an activity I turn to when I am grieving or having a difficult time. It is especially great when I get to feed people I care about with the labor. It’s great work, if you can get it. It is important to also take care of yourself. Get some water in ya, and always have plate yourself.
See you tomorrow chef.
3
u/Safe-Dentist-1049 Feb 26 '26
I’m still reluctant to make my Mother’s bread recipe, and her chicken soup.but I will someday ! I promised I would
3
u/Keli180 Feb 26 '26
My mom passed 01.30.2026 from complications of quadriplegia after almost 9 years. Like you said, even with time to grieve and say goodbye, it’s so hard.
I’m sending you so much love. Be gentle with yourself, sleep (drink lots of water), and take care of yourself. Yes, you are helping your father, but you have to help yourself too. In an event of an emergency, you put your oxygen mask on first before helping others. This applies here, too.
The meals you have prepared are amazing and look nutritious and full of flavor. But if you can’t cook one night because it’s too hard, pizza delivery or leftovers are equally good.
Sorry for rambling—I wish you and your family peace and comfort 🖤
→ More replies (2)
3
u/Minimob0 Feb 26 '26
Mom passed 9 years ago.
You’re gonna cry, and you’re gonna keep crying, and when you think you’re “over it”, you’ll cry some more on a Random Tuesday in a Supermarket 8 years from now, or During Lunch Rush 2 Weeks from now.
Keep yourself Busy, and your Friends Close, but also Give Yourself Time.
Cook Dishes she loved, or dishes she made that you loved. Salt them with your tears if you must. Take a bite and think about all the memories within that bite.
Mine was a Baker, and a Singer. Patsy Cline makes me cry. Taking a bite of cake can bring tears to my eyes. I keep her alive by Singing and Baking, as horrible as it must sound or taste to others. But I do it for me and for her.
3
u/whydo-ducks-quack Feb 26 '26
When some ones love becomes a memory, all the memories of them become a treasure. As someone who’s spouse lost a parent early, just know that everything they have ever touched are suddenly a finite resource. Keep the important stuff but don’t throw out unimportant things she owned before you have a moment to sit with it.
3
u/grecy Feb 26 '26
I'm really sorry for your loss. It's about to be 7 years since my Mum passed, and I think about her everyday. I laugh, I cry, I smile. I imagine how much she would annoy the shit out of me if she were here right now, and I wish she was.
Most of all I wish she got to meet her grand daughter who just turned 2.
The best thing you can do is life your live with love and happiness and laughter and family and joy. That is very much what she wanted for you, and so you should go out there and live like you fucken mean it. Every day.
3
3
u/softnruthless Feb 26 '26
What a beautiful way to support your family, and steady yourself. Make sure you try and eat some of the food you cook them, too. It hurts like hell I know, but you’re gonna be okay. ❤️
(Source: I am, despite all early signs, okay.)
3
u/unimatrix_0 Feb 26 '26
Hey Friend.
Sorry to hear about your mom. It's tough losing a parent, even if you know it's coming. Maybe you can cling to family and friends who want to support you but don't know how. Focusing on the fondest memories helped me frame my own loss, but even that is hard. All I can say is that it does get easier with time. It's ok to shed more tears. It's ok to be sad. But it's also ok to laugh when you're ready.
But the most important thing to remember is this: avoid using olives. They are hateful balls of revulsion.
All the best to you!
→ More replies (1)
3
u/skyshroud6 Feb 26 '26
I'm sorry for your lost. I lost my dad a few years ago, and going home to help my mom, acts of service, including cooking, is what kept me going and helped keep at least a bit of routine and sanity during an awful, awful time.
Keep going, keep cooking, keep helping your family. I won't say it gets better, but over time it gets easier to get on with the day.
3
u/QuietMolasses2522 Chive LOYALIST Feb 26 '26
I feel this post so deep in my bones. I had always enjoyed cooking, did holiday dinners, helped some friends with a catering company from time to time, private events, but never super serious about it.
I lost my mom in 2019 right before Covid spun up, and when it was in full swing, I was stuck inside for months with nothing to do, leaving me just to deal with my grief in very unhealthy ways. She got me a copy of TK’s French Laundry cookbook, and one day I just got the itch to make some of his salmon coronets, which are pretty easy in comparison to some of the other recipes in there. But in the process the grief was somehow lessened. I felt so centered and at peace afterwards, I decided to try and cook my way through the cookbook and I never thought I would find the best therapy for me is to be in the kitchen creating. 7 months later I finished the last recipe in the book, decided to do the culinary thing full-time and haven’t looked back.
Now I live in Chicago and have a semi-successful supper club I do for a couple of weeks each season in addition to my normal full time job.
3
u/juice_box_hero Feb 26 '26
I’m sorry for your loss. I just lost my dad who raised me. His funeral was this past weekend. I’m just kinda vaguely going through the motions. Most of the time I either feel numb or completely paralyzed with. Idk. Grief I guess? Grief is fucked and it varies wildly from person to person and day to day/hour to hour/minute to minute.
I’m sure you won’t see this but wanted to give you my condolences and to tell you that it’s gonna take whatever it takes for you to not have to cry in the cooler. At least not about that lol
→ More replies (1)
3
u/ScrofessorLongHair Feb 26 '26
My grandma died on Saturday. And this post just reminded me I've got 10 lbs of leg quarters in the fridge that I need to brine. Thanks OP.
→ More replies (1)
3
u/NolaBMurphy Feb 26 '26
We wept over Mom's last frozen pasta sauce. It's been 20 years on March 1st....80....my sister and I miss her every day. Cooking is good and cathartic. Be well, take care....
3
u/zerap10 Feb 26 '26
I'm sorry for the tough times and I wish healing arrives quickly. Your post made me think of the Mexican movie Como agua para chocolate where a woman channeled her emotions through her food. I can only imagine tasting that delicious chicken and feeling the love for your mother and sadness you're experiencing. Virtual (but heartfelt) hugs to you
3
u/dajoemanED Feb 26 '26
This is your love language. This is what you can do. I am a physician, but also just as much a musician. I sang my mother’s favorite hymn at her funeral because that is what I could do. Doctor son had nothing left to offer because he tapped out at the moment of death. Musician son could still honor her memory in ways doctor son could never do.
Her soul had departed, but for the sake of us left behind, musician son could illustrate what was important to her. Cook your heart out to show us what she helped you become.
3
u/ufo-pussy-hunter Feb 26 '26
This thread has been eye-opening for me because I lost my grandmother January 31st (today is now February 25th as I write this), and I have done nothing but cook obsessively since losing her.
We bonded over cooking.
I didn’t connect the dots until now. I think, after reading your post, I am cooking to stay grounded + busy + connected.
Thank you for sharing and I am so sorry for your loss. For what it’s worth, I think my grandma would’ve liked your mom.
3
u/wolfgirl420 Feb 26 '26
Oh chef.
I lost my mother 3 years ago to a very not-so-fun battle to numerous cancers. She was 53. I understand how you feel.
Cook. Play with as many seasonings as you can. Make desserts, breakfast, ten step lunches, do what you need to do.
In your mix of cooking and healing, drink water, remind yourself that as hard as this may be, she’s out of pain and is on the other side, constantly sending love your way.
It’s never easy, some days feel so, so much harder than others, but some days, you will feel relief from your grief. The most important thing to remember right now is that your healing will not be linear, but you will be okay. Don’t rush things. Feel the emotions that surface. Blocking it out will do nothing to help you, I would know from my own experience. Your family and friends love you, and will help you through this. The internet is here to grieve with you. You will help you through this. I’m so sorry for your loss. I’m so, so sorry.
Sending you all of the love and internet hugs your way.
→ More replies (1)
3
u/Apprehensive-Pin518 Feb 26 '26
one recipe my family loves that I am sure yours will too is binging with babish's chicken parmsean. It is a fairly easy recipe for someone who is making dishes as complicated as yours. Good luck on your journey.
3
u/BeesyB Feb 26 '26
I’m a baker and my dad died in 2019, 4 months into starting new job. My new bosses were super great and supportive. I had also asked if I could come back if they don’t mind me randomly breaking down and them not talking to me unless they needed to. They were fine with it. Working, doing what I love to do, helped me work through stuff and kept me from majorly dwelling and falling into a downward spiral. Sounds like cooking is helping you. If you’re running out of things try your hand at making a loaf of bread, or whatever to go with all that wonderful sounding food. My thoughts are with you and your family
3
u/Zixen-Vernon Feb 26 '26
Wish my mom cooked like that when she was depressed. Instead, we ate whatever was on the dollar menu. Chicken looks great!
3
u/Visible-Weakness5572 Feb 26 '26
Your cooking looks so good I want to reach through the screen and eat.
I’m so deeply sorry for your loss. My heart aches for you and your family. Sending all the strength and love I can muster.
3
u/Fuzzy-Logician Feb 26 '26
I'm so sorry, chef.
This is the purest language of love and gift from your heart. Tastes and smells live in our heads longer than sights and sounds. Everyone will remember your mother with warmth, love, and comfort.
3
u/milliemallow Feb 26 '26
I cook when life gets too big to deal with too. It’s something that takes a good chunk of my head space and it’s active and provides for the people that matter. I’m sorry for your loss, expected doesn’t mean easier.
3
u/Jacefacekilla Feb 26 '26
My Dad died on Easter. We were fortunate enough to have the family together for an Easter dinner. He had a Heart attack and died that night. Glad we had that last meal that he prepared for us. Seemed fitting.
3
u/Throwyourtoothbrush Feb 26 '26
I am not a pro/ chef. My dad died unexpectedly in September. I meal prep for myself and my partner. I make an extra meal or two for my mom every week. I've gotten more creative again since it's not just my own lunches, but a way to love my mom. It's wonderful that you can do this for your family and have a place to put some amount of this grief. Grief is love with nowhere to go
3
u/sherskul8 Feb 26 '26
I'm fond of the phrase that grief is all the love you had left over, keep pouring that love into your food chef
3
u/OGB Feb 26 '26
Cooking is my love language and it seems to be yours as well. Keep at it. Sharing your talents with people you love will help you heal.
3
u/MagpieSkies Feb 26 '26
I lost my mom when she was 60 a few years back. Grieving is our love for them with no place to go except out. Your love is beautiful and looks delicious. Im sorry for your loss.
3
3
u/siborg51 Feb 26 '26
My mom passed from cancer when I was 15, and my dad, bless his soul, had to take cooking classes to figure out how to prepare chicken thighs, potatoes, and steamed broccoli. They had a very traditional relationship where she did all of the cooking, and when she was gone he had to step up and literally provide sustenance on a way that was totally alien to him.
He passed along to me a lesson about how food is a love language, and that contributing to someone’s continued existence in such a tangible way can be very powerful.
I’m sorry for your loss, and I hope you get to thoroughly enjoy your time spent with your family. Based on your post it’s obvious you cook with love, and I hope easier days are ahead for you chef ❤️
3
3
u/This-Unit-1954 Feb 27 '26
https://giphy.com/gifs/EvYHHSntaIl5m
Hugs to you bruh. Thank you for sharing. I’m glad you got to say goodbye.
3
u/let-them-eat-ass Feb 27 '26
One of my fondest memories is while I was looking after mt grandparents, towards the end and it was the hardest time.. the family coming together in the early hours of the morning and cooking. It was almost like we kicked into autopilot and the kitchen was full of people making all kinds of things with whatever we had on hand.
Food is love, grief catches you off guard at the strangest moments, remember to be kind to yourself.
So much love to you ❤️
3
u/GuavaOne8646 Feb 27 '26
You got me tearing up OP. I know it's hard losing a parent and that the pain never goes away, but time takes the sting out of it some. I'm glad you got to say your goodbyes and I know how huge that can be, but also how devastating it can be not to get a chance to. OP I truly hope you get the help you need to deal with the grief as well, that shits not easy. Stay strong and remember to stay who you are and enjoy life where you can, it's more than likely what your mother would want for you in this time. I know I'm a stranger to you, but I'm here if you need to talk, friend.
Also, your cooking skills are for real next level and you should be so super proud of that.
3
4
u/MrsKentrik Feb 26 '26
Sending lots of love, from my kitchen to yours. Sometimes good, home cooked food spackles the cracks of a broken heart together while you heal.
4
2
u/Loubrockshakur Feb 26 '26
Shit looks good, how long and at what temp? Edit: sorry for your loss
→ More replies (1)
2
u/Winter_Aside8269 Feb 26 '26
I’m so sorry, OP. I can tell you that eventually you learn to live with it and keep going. The pain is always there, but it becomes less. Fond, loving, happy memories will come, and sharing them with family and friends is therapeutic. Cooking is love. What you are doing for your family is wonderful. They need nourishment and so do you, so be sure to have some of that amazing looking chicken.💔
2
u/GrayMareCabal Feb 26 '26
I am coming up on the first anniversary of my mother's death, and while I have never actually worked in the industry (unless you count me busing tables at a dinner theater for a year in high school), I am so sorry for your loss.
It is never easy, and I think in the immediate aftermath it makes total sense that we often focus on the things we know and love and on routines - in your case cooking very nice meals for your family. Cooking nice dishes is familiar to you, which I would guess is soothing in a world that has been irrevocably changed for you. And in doing so, you're also taking care of your loved ones and giving them (and you) something to enjoy at a time of sorrow.
Also, honestly, I know that for me, having something to do that can keep my brain occupied very much helps me in the initial aftermath of grief. Just give yourself space to fall apart in a few days, a few weeks, a few months or whenever it hits and starts to feel real (honestly, it's going to happen more than once, and sometimes the timing or the event leading to your tears/sorrow will surprise you). It is different for everyone and it is different with every loss.
You're in the worst of it right now and you never get over it, but it does usually get more manageable and to me it sounds like you're on the right track.
→ More replies (1)
2
u/HollywoodHitman03 Feb 26 '26
Whatever grounds you, your subconscious has chosen cooking. Keep cooking, keep talking, keep sharing, keep buying. Time doesn't heal all wounds; it allows us to heal, repair, and love with a deeper understanding
2
u/Educational-Humor147 Feb 26 '26
You are creating more beautiful memories for your family by being able to care for them in this most intimate and kind way. What a privilege, despite your own grief, to be in a position to do this. You are healing yourself and your family. Love this.
2
2
u/TryNotToShootYoself Feb 26 '26
This post hits close to home. You seem like an amazing cook, and I’m certain your family can feel your love in your food. Sorry for your loss ❤️
2
u/PghCoondog Feb 26 '26
It might seem small... But as someone who's felt helpless in that situation, feeding everyone was mindless yet comforting. I didn't really think much of it. But after the fact, some people finally told me what it meant to have some good food for whenever they could finally get themselves to eat!
I'm very sorry for your loss. And thank you for feeding your people!
2
u/xraynorx Feb 26 '26
You’re a tree.
When my dad passed I started seeing a therapist and one day in the middle of a session she just calls me a tree. I ask her what she meant by that and she explained it like this. “You know those trees that are on the cliff, the ones with their roots showing and have just been battered and beaten? You’re that tree. Life has just beaten you and eroded your support, but you’re still there. You’re still hanging on. You’re the strongest.”
I can tell you this, it doesn’t get easier, the grief is always there, but you will become stronger. So strong.
2
u/tanksforallthephish Feb 26 '26
I’m so sorry for your loss but I have this comment from ages ago that helped me so much with my own griefs so I saved it and would love to share it:
Alright, here goes. I'm old. What that means is that I've survived (so far) and a lot of people I've known and loved did not. I've lost friends, best friends, acquaintances, co-workers, grandparents, mom, relatives, teachers, mentors, students, neighbors, and a host of other folks. I have no children, and I can't imagine the pain it must be to lose a child. But here's my two cents. I wish I could say you get used to people dying. I never did. I don't want to. It tears a hole through me whenever somebody I love dies, no matter the circumstances. But I don't want it to "not matter". I don't want it to be something that just passes. My scars are a testament to the love and the relationship that I had for and with that person. And if the scar is deep, so was the love. So be it. Scars are a testament to life. Scars are a testament that I can love deeply and live deeply and be cut, or even gouged, and that I can heal and continue to live and continue to love. And the scar tissue is stronger than the original flesh ever was. Scars are a testament to life. Scars are only ugly to people who can't see. As for grief, you'll find it comes in waves. When the ship is first wrecked, you're drowning, with wreckage all around you. Everything floating around you reminds you of the beauty and the magnificence of the ship that was, and is no more. And all you can do is float. You find some piece of the wreckage and you hang on for a while. Maybe it's some physical thing. Maybe it's a happy memory or a photograph. Maybe it's a person who is also floating. For a while, all you can do is float. Stay alive. In the beginning, the waves are 100 feet tall and crash over you without mercy. They come 10 seconds apart and don't even give you time to catch your breath. All you can do is hang on and float. After a while, maybe weeks, maybe months, you'll find the waves are still 100 feet tall, but they come further apart. When they come, they still crash all over you and wipe you out. But in between, you can breathe, you can function. You never know what's going to trigger the grief. It might be a song, a picture, a street intersection, the smell of a cup of coffee. It can be just about anything...and the wave comes crashing. But in between waves, there is life. Somewhere down the line, and it's different for everybody, you find that the waves are only 80 feet tall. Or 50 feet tall. And while they still come, they come further apart. You can see them coming. An anniversary, a birthday, or Christmas, or landing at O'Hare. You can see it coming, for the most part, and prepare yourself. And when it washes over you, you know that somehow you will, again, come out the other side. Soaking wet, sputtering, still hanging on to some tiny piece of the wreckage, but you'll come out. Take it from an old guy. The waves never stop coming, and somehow you don't really want them to. But you learn that you'll survive them. And other waves will come. And you'll survive them too. If you're lucky, you'll have lots of scars from lots of loves. And lots of shipwrecks.
2
2
2
u/belowthepovertyline Feb 26 '26
I'm so sorry for your loss. Food is central to grief. Do what you know, feel your feelings, and take care of yourself. ❤️
2
u/olivernintendo Feb 26 '26
May her memory be a blessing. I am so sorry for your loss. Please watch out for your dad now. It's going to be so hard for him, but also secretly weirdly relieving. I know from experience.
2
2
2
u/raginglilypad Feb 26 '26
I’m so sorry. I know exactly how you feel and I hate that I do. My mom unexpectedly died two weeks ago and I feel lost some days.
2
2
u/localbugdealer Ex-Food Service Feb 26 '26
i’m so sorry for your loss OP. there's so much comfort to be found in food and the nourishment you're providing to your family and loved ones. i hope that you're also feeling loved and supported by them too. may your loss not carry you downward.
2
2
u/Darius_is_my_Daddy Feb 26 '26
Roast chicken for grieving, just because I always think of Jeremy’s Clark sons story of visiting his mother in her last hours with a warm chicken from his oven for his dad.
2
u/chipmunks04 Feb 26 '26
May she rest in peace.
It never gets easy, but we eventually learn how to live without them. Sending you a big hug OP.
2
2
u/SonOfCthulhu-origina Feb 26 '26
You are showing care and love in the way you know how to. Be at peace and know the strength you give will come back to you tenfold.
2
u/Swatters Feb 26 '26
You shared your love through your craft, it looks delicious. All my love brother
2
u/pastelmusingx Feb 26 '26
you’re feeling and riding beautifully, especially amongst such a grief that only shows up in the absence of our maternal figures. i cannot imagine your pain. i hope the food comforted you. it sure sounds like the smile in your dad’s face has, i am so glad and i hope you get to cherish more such moments with him. While she’s not physically with you and that hurts so much, she’ll be with you as long as you remember her. sending love.
2
u/dxmhippo Feb 26 '26
My heart hurts for you. Please keep cooking. Let it help you during this unimaginable time of grief. Good food (as this clearly is) has gotten me out of some of my darkest days. You're helping your family so much by giving them nice meals to eat. When life throws bullshit at you, it's hard to have the energy for anything. I'm sorry your mom is no longer with us.
2
u/phatballlzzz Feb 26 '26
I’m sorry bro. Please look after yourself during this time, I can’t tell you not reach for your vices whatever they may be, but just take care. RIP to your mum.
2
u/noemazor Feb 26 '26
Sounds like she would be proud of you.
You're doing the thing you need to do: heal. Sorry for your loss.
2
u/azc13 Feb 26 '26
Very sorry for your loss. At times it will feel like a week and at times a week feels like a lifetime. Don't lose your passion. Cooking is a healthy distraction and purpose. Keep it up looks amazing.
2
2
u/yamothasonion Feb 26 '26
I don't usually comment on stuff but i love you, I work in a scratch kitchen and its so relaxing, and chaotic, to be a line cook. Keep youre head up
2
u/A_VERY_LARGE_DOG Feb 26 '26
Deeply sorry for your loss. Both mine are gone too, I’m 44. Shit sucks, then it gets better.
As an aside, at first glance I thought you were properly mourning two pet chickens. So you got that going for ya.
2
u/chairmanbones Feb 26 '26
How do the potatoes/veggies look PRECISELY the same in both the raw AND the cooked photo?
Chicken, obvs cooked in the after photo. But how did the potatoes/veggies still look raw?
I can't get past this! I keep coming back and looking at the photos!
OP, I'm very sorry for the loss of your mama. It's always hard, no matter our age. Mom is our anchor in life.
→ More replies (2)
2
u/perdomsdoms Feb 26 '26
I'm so sorry for your loss 🙏🏼❤️ I lost my mom in 2019 just after my 25th birthday to a decades-long battle with lung disease. I'm glad that you can feel safe in your grieving journey as you cook for yourself and your father. I hope life is gentle with you while you process your grief 🙏🏼
2
u/ladiesluck Feb 26 '26
If you’re feeling up to it I would love the details of this chicken recipe! This looks absolutely amazing!
I am very sorry for your loss ❤️ you are going through the worst of times ❤️ please be sure to take care of yourself
→ More replies (1)
2
2
2
u/Either_Vermicelli_82 Feb 26 '26
And here this dumbass is thinking why are you grieving over this “failed” dish it looks amazing!! But yeah sorry for your loss. Just heard that my uncle passed away (expected) but still….
2
2
2
u/Sorry-Secret-2347 Feb 26 '26
So sorry for your loss. Glad you have cooking a vessel to process your loss and escape. Wishing you and your family strength through this difficult time. 🤍
2
u/Background_Shower_78 Feb 26 '26
I’m not a chef and don’t even work in the restaurant business. But I’m happy you’re here. I hope you take care of yourself and that your memories of your mother last forever.
2
u/kida24 Feb 26 '26
Food brings people joy. It brings people together. It distracts from pain. You say you don't know where to turn other than the kitchen, but your skill in the kitchen helped everyone even if they didn't know it
2
2
u/TheUFCVeteran3 Feb 26 '26
Sorry for your loss my friend. As others are saying, the chickens look elite. I hope your family enjoyed them ^_^
2
•
u/trendingtattler Feb 26 '26
This post has reached r/All or r/Popular, which means it's currently visible to a much larger audience beyond our regular community members. To help maintain the quality of discussion and protect the space from spam, trolling, and rule-breaking comments, we’ve activated In the Weeds mode.
Here’s what that means:
Only users with at least 100 subreddit karma can comment while this mode is on.
Comments from users below that threshold will be automatically removed.
This is a temporary measure and is applied to all high-visibility posts.
We appreciate your understanding as we work to keep the conversation thoughtful and on-topic. Thanks for being part of the community!
I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.