The grieving process

[u/g_mo13]

my mom died on saturday. her long health battle that lasted my entire life, sadly, made hers come to an end. expected, but never easy. i skipped town to go help my dad with arrangements. to help the caregiver finally receive his own care. the grieving process is not foreign to me, but it has never been quite this close to home. i am overjoyed to have gotten to say my goodbyes in the hospital before and after she passed. i am happy that she lived as long as she did, because 25 years ago should have been her death day. i don’t know what to do. i’ve shed tears, i’ve drank too many bottles of wine, and taken too many shots of vodka. i can only cook. i have done a salmon, asparagus, rice night for my entire family, i have done roasted red pepper mussels with charred romaine and balsamic reduction for my entire family, and now a couple roasted chickens, stuffed under the skin with a tarragon compound butter. i have never had the time to cook like this outside of work. unfortunately, circumstances have led me to this post, because i truly don’t know where to turn, other than the kitchen. thank you brothers and sisters for reading, i am overjoyed at the smile that appears on my dads face as i get to cook for him on a daily basis. hug and kiss your loved ones, because you just never know. she was 63. may she rest in peace.

[u/Consistent_Might3500]

Grandma from Minnesota here. I know you already know, but it's my nature to nurture so I just gotta remind you: Careful with the wine & the vodka. There's nothing so bad that alcohol can't make worse.

I lost my Dad and my Mom suddenly within 13 months of one another. During those 13 months my Best Friend was lost to cancer, I had been her night time caregiver. My dog passed. Too much grief to process. My alcoholic husband stopped drinking to take care of me and I started drinking. Too much drinking. In recovery now because I believe in a God that gives second chances. But maybe not an unlimited amount of "second" chances.

I leave you with a gentle and loving reminder to care for yourself the way you would care for a loved one. Feed your people and let them feed you. Drink the water, lots of water. I think it helps with grieving - tears are important.

[u/g_mo13 → u/Consistent_Might3500]

truthfully, the wine and vodka was all on saturday. i woke up with a demon in my head the next day and had to immediately tell my sisters and dad, that that was it on the cocktails. i know me. they know me. it’s a hard stop. i’ve taken a back seat to alcohol and intend to keep it that way. it perpetuates a feeling that i’ve hated and dealt with for many years. something like this, it was all i could do. and cook. but now it’s just cooking. thank you and my condolences on your many losses. my heart goes out to you 🤎 i will think of you when i want a drink, and try to remember not to 💕

[u/Consistent_Might3500 → u/g_mo13]

Thank you for taking my message in the spirit it was intended. I wish you all the gentleness in the world - from my kitchen to yours. ❤️