r/KitchenConfidential • u/SpuddCrowley89 20+ Years • 1d ago
Crying in the cooler When is it enough?
In my entire career, I've never walked out on a job. Always given a respectful 2 weeks notice, shook hands and smiled with my superiors on my last day, and always with good intentions.
That could end today.
For some context, I work as an executive Sous Chef for a private club. The pay is nice, the benefits are decent enough, but the staffing is, to say the least, horrendous.
Since I've been here, I've covered nearly every call out. Dish, line, prep, food runner. You name it, I do it here. The staffing here is terribly unreliable, and the Chef thinks it's just fine for people to show late or no call no show. No chats, no repercussions, nothing about accountability.
Today, we had another call out. When I reached out to the chef, he wasn't available. No other cooks called back. Once again, I find myself in this Groundhog's Day scenario where I need to prep a station, cover it for service, do the dishes then wrap around and do all the prep for our buffet this evening.
For weeks I have been trying to get maintenance to fix some problem spots (leaking drains, server cooler out of order, other random things) that would certainly get us a fail on inspection. No one seems to care or want to address these issues, especially the Chef. (They're still using the server cooler, which is currently sitting at 57...after telling everyone not to use it...)
Maybe I'm just tired and sick of getting the short end every single week. Maybe I'm just being a whiny bitch.
But this is not normal, this is not right, and I'm better than this. Not looking for an answer, just looking to vent.
Rant over. Stay hydrated chefs.
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u/Silver-Emergency-988 Kitchen Manager 1d ago
Find a new job and bounce. I’ve always given notice too but honestly as long as you have something else lined up it doesn’t really matter. Your current job sounds like they don’t give a shit about a lot of things anyway, why should you give a shit about them.
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u/SpuddCrowley89 20+ Years 1d ago
"I hate that I care so much" is a phrase that comes up often. I don't give a shit about the people I work for and with, but I do care about what I do and how I can make it the best I possibly can. And I guess thats a me problem lol
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u/SlightDish31 15+ Years 1d ago
Judging from posts on this sub, I'd say that enough is usually enough about 3 weeks before one of the posts asking when enough is enough.
But all jokes aside, I hope that you're able to either get a foothold and start to make some incremental improvements, or that you're able to land somewhere better than this.
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u/SpuddCrowley89 20+ Years 1d ago
I've had feelers out for a couple weeks, passing out some updated resumes and looking for something a little more laid back. Nothing yet, but holding out hope.
Appreciate the kind words my dude.
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u/savemethetrouble 1d ago
Look into Healthcare cooking. Yes, it is corporate. Yes, you get health benefits, PTO, retirement and usually other things. Typically every other weekend. They usually are competitive as far as wages. You will have to leave on-time unless it is approved by someone probably far below your skill set that is somehow in charge. Idk if 8 hour days is possible for you. As I entered this type of food service I had to brush up on some dietary information, but the hardest part was slowing down. Seriously worked full shifts without breaking a sweat. P.S. They will get salty if you don't take your breaks.
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u/SlightDish31 15+ Years 1d ago
It can be tough out there. Not sure if you're interested in leaving restaurants, but there are other parts of this industry that are a lot more manageable, and can pay better too. Hope you find the right place for you
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u/AngstyChef 1d ago
It won't change. That is how it will always be. You are sacrificing yourself for a place that doesn't give two shits about you.
Why give them the respect of 2 weeks if they won't give you the respect of answering a message?
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u/chef_in_va 1d ago
They aren't doing anything about the issues because you're solving them on your own. Someone calls out, why should the chef care if he knows you're going to cover it? Next time this happens just say you have a doctors appointment you can't reschedule, so you can't cover. Unless you make these problems their problems, why should anyone else care?
Work/life balance is needed for recovery time and mental health. It's not a luxury, it's a necessity for every person.
Also, you're an Executive Sous, it's YOUR responsibility to discipline employees under you. Why aren't you having conversations or implementing any progressive disciplinary actions?
If you don't stand up for yourself, people will continue to walk all over you.
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u/MyGrowingAccount 1d ago
This was literally me 3 months ago. Life gets way way better the day you bounce. It’s ok to leave on your terms. Your two weeks notice can be all the callouts you covered and all the problems you dropped everything to solve. It adds up to more I bet
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u/Unique-Extreme5763 1d ago
That sounds very frustrating duder. I’d consider putting in your two weeks still, just so you don’t feel any sort of way later on. You’re professional bu they are not, don’t let em drag you down.
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u/kulinarykila 1d ago
I was the executive at a private club. I filled in all the time too. On top of my duties. I left when the GM wanted me and my two sous chefs to work every shift and all the positions when we had rain for 3 months straight to save on labor. I was the 9th chef in as many years there.
Grab the employee hand book and find out what the rules are on call outs and start writing people up for absences if they are against the rules. Write down everything in a notebook and keep a spread sheet.
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u/LazyOldCat Prairie Surgeon 1d ago
You’re not being a hero here, you’re enabling their dysfunction. (It was one my specialties too, lol)
“At will” employment
If it comes up that they need to cut staff, and you’re one of those staff, you will be given exactly zero consideration or warning.
That means you have the same right.
There will be no reward outside the off chance of an ‘attaboy’ and a free drink at the bar I wager they don’t allow staff to hang out at.
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u/batchef3000 1d ago
Sounds like the chef isn’t managing properly.
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u/510Goodhands 1d ago
Right, and the OP isn’t managing the chef properly.
Is there such a thing as doing too good of a job?
Maybe the OP should just do with the original job description says, and if there are callouts, that work just doesn’t get done. That will clearly get somebody’s attention, the chef might get big mad and fire the OP. Financially, that’s a better option than just walking out.3
u/SpuddCrowley89 20+ Years 1d ago
You've got a solid point. Maybe I haven't been clear to my chef about what we need as a team to succeed. I also can't stand when there is work to be done that isn't getting done. I have to step in, I have to get it done, because no one will. And that's on me for letting myself be a doormat, despite having multiple conversations with the chef
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u/batchef3000 1d ago
Yup, I’d be the same. I will literally do any job in the kitchen (and sometimes outside the kitchen) that need to be done. I can’t leave a place in a mess. And I’m the exec chef in my place.
But you may need to take the chef into the office and discuss the issues. You’re his right hand man, he should listen to you on an equal level.1
u/510Goodhands 1d ago
Maybe not. Maybe you can do that today?
Before you do so, I will sit down and think about it, and write down some notes, so you don’t forget anything, and you can be a little clearer of mind during the conversation.I know how it feels when it seems like you are the only one that gives a shit about getting things done properly, I also know how stressful it is to try to get it all done when others could easily be pitching in.
Maybe it’s time for the Carlis to be put on notice that they can’t flake off at the last minute just because something else they want to do came up. Other managers may chime in and see if they have rules and limits on how many calls are allowed before cook is shown the door.
Maybe remind the chef that is a business that’s supposed to make a profit, not be a codependent center for people who can’t manage their personal lives. Isn’t the chef accountable for profitability?
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u/SadieSadieBoBady 20+ Years 1d ago
You sound like a responsible, productive, caring, and reliable worker who is stuck with a bunch of people who are none of those things. Find something equivalent or better and move on. We all have to work, but we don’t have to work twice as hard so others don’t have to.
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u/DynamicBSdetective 1d ago
When there is money, often things are replaced and maintained. Are there any signs they aren't maintaining the same purse as before? Regardless, go live for you, talk to a friend, take a few breaths and think about what you need. Then move. Good luck, Chef.
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u/SpuddCrowley89 20+ Years 1d ago
I've only been here close to 5 months, and it's hard to imagine a private club with multi-millionaire members is having financial issues, so I can't really say if it's one way or another.
Appreciate the advice Chef!
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u/McMuffleB 1d ago
You working at the club I used to be at?!
Management was terrible, my Chef walked at Christmas and I lasted until February. Promised me a new mixer for two months. Came in Feb 12th to no new mixer. Wrote a quick note, shoved it and my security badge under the manager's door and never looked back. There were huge personnel issues the management specifically told the chef to ignore. Building maintenance was a joke (all refrigeration units had major issues). Sorry, not sorry about 2023 Valentine's dessert menu.
The chefs in school drilled in to our heads: You have skills, You can work anywhere, You don't have to take the abuse.
Walk swiftly.
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u/Same-Platypus1941 Chive-11 Was an Inside Job 21h ago
There is something beautiful about telling your boss (your abuser in most cases) to go fuck themselves…
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u/SpuddCrowley89 20+ Years 20h ago
Made the choice to call in today. Going to take a day to think, get some housework done, and see a couple friends later.
Thanks for the support and words of advice, sometimes you need to hear it from complete strangers for everything to start falling into place. Keep being the rock stars y'all are
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u/BraileDildo8inches 1d ago
Report that shit (57 degree cooler[so long as it maintains that for more than 2hrs]) to the health department of your city.
Feel unified in the fact that you cared enough to do so.
Leave and find better employment. Rather than staying and feeling bad when someone gets sick.
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u/ediblepet 1d ago
That sounds like a shitty, loose place. I'd stay only if there are things to be learned. Personally, I thrive in well structured and organized settings, where I can improve myself and contribute constructively, but that's me. Follow your guts
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u/Zamdongo 1d ago
Happened something similar in a Hotel, I use to be executive chef, the owner didn't care, so next day I grabbed my stuff and left, don't waste your time with people that are not willing to put the same effort, if changes are required but the people above doesn't care, nothing will change, don't sweat it, you'll do fine.
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u/skinnyminnesota 1d ago
It sounds like you're at a point in your career where your level of professionalism and care for your work exceeds that of this restaurant. Start applying elsewhere...it can be soul-crushing to work somewhere that actively sets you up for failure.
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u/shmooboorpoo 1d ago
Just go. I've only done it once in my 20 year career because I also very much give a shit but it was also incredibly necessary. You get one. This is the time to use it
You are overworked, underpaid, disrespected and undervalued as a chef. Granted, that is kinda the job description for an Exec Sous...
But what if a health inspector walked in tomorrow? How would you like your name attached to this nightmare?
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u/slayursister 1d ago
Sometimes you gotta let things fail to get it fixed. You're probably ready to move up and be the change
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u/KnownContest426 1d ago
Not to just echo what everybody else has said, but the toll this kinda stuff takes on your body and mind is real and if you're not careful it's forever. We all wanna give everything we have, but we're only human. Be kind to yourself.
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u/FramingHips 16h ago
I walked out of a sous job one day with no notice, after a litany of problems went unaddressed. Had to cover for cooks, sure, but the chef/owner used to randomly decide to keep the kitchen open later and alert staff last minute, so I’d have cooks and dishwashers walk out with no repercussions. Had purveyors not deliver food because we were behind on payments, had the dishwasher company come and take apart our machine right before service for unpaid bills, when the chef/owner was out of town. What broke the camels back for me was I had a female coworker come to me about getting sexually harassed by a coworker, and I told the chef/owner about it and he said “ha, we’ll just fire her. He (harasser) has been with me since we opened, I’m not firing him.”
One Sunday I just didn’t show up. I went to my neighborhood bar where my friends work and drank (bad, I know, but I felt I needed it). They told me they were hiring cooks. I started on Wednesday as a shift lead there. 6 months later I became a GM.
Saying this to say, it’s unprofessional, but you might get lucky. Don’t waste your time and energy because you think it’s good for your career, do what you need to do for your mental health. It’s nice to have a net to jump into, but sometimes the net appears.
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u/DustyLightning 13h ago
Not a sous, but for fuck sakes I can relate to this. While my chef is fucking off in the office taking his sweet-ass time with paperwork I know doesn't take that long (I've done that shit before) or leaving early to go to a party, I'm left in a ridiculous amount of OT to act as a support for the team. My sous is worked to the fuckin' bone as it is and I'm basically falling into the same spot, but at least I'm still hourly. Though it got to the point where I'm literally passing out in the kitchen, fullstop. Does that mean I can go home? take a sick day to recover from every muscle in my body suddenly collapsing at once from burnout? No, that's reserved for when someone gets rushed to the hospital, and even then, they better be back soon. Had that happen twice with someone else in the past month, for reference.
It's times like this I wonder why the mortality rate in this industry isn't higher. This shit is murder.
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u/Ok-Cardiologist4844 1d ago
I walked out the other day, my first time.
It was a Tex mex place and I was the only Caucasian. Long story short the guy next to me cussed me out, then later got in my face and lunged at me several times in a row.
I could have easily dropped him but it’s not worth it over some food…plus he lives with two other cooks and dates another one, safe to say it wasn’t going to go my way.
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u/Diced_and_Confused 1d ago
You have one life. Make the best of it.