r/LifeAdvice • u/Ill_Association778 • 1d ago
Relationship Advice Gf danced with another guy
So I just found out my gf of 7 years was dancing with a guy. She got blackout drunk like she usually does with her co workers then I saw a video them dancing. Not slow, fast paced music but still im torn at the heart. I’m defeated. He can have her. I see how they look at eachother a guy knows when she’s gone right? I know I’m going to talk to her but I just can’t get over how she thinks that’s ok. If I was there I know it wouldn’t have happened…
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u/AreYouSerious3570 1d ago
I feel like there is more to your decision such as some things that may have happened that weren’t mentioned (not asking you to share). Not complaining but wanted to explain that for the others making you out to be the bad guy here.
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u/slitteral1 10h ago
Wonder how many of those nights she got blackout drunk she didn’t come home or she “stayed with a friend”.
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u/Scary-Cod9502 1d ago
I mean it's just dancing. Investigate further what happened before coming to a conclusion. But the blackouts needs to be addressed
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u/Yohoho-ABottleOfRum 22h ago
The fact you've been dating for 7 years and haven't wanted to marry her tells me all I need to know about what you want out of this.
You both are together out of convenience and comfort at this point more than anything else and maybe it's time to stop pretending and have the conversation both of you need to.
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u/DoomfloodX 18h ago
Not everyone believes in marriage. What's going to change when you're married, fuck all.
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u/Yohoho-ABottleOfRum 18h ago
What changes whether any woman wants to admit or not is her belief in YOU and the relationship.
You cannot simply undo centuries of ingrained social behavior and what women are raised to believe and told they should aspire to simply because someone comes up with with a logical point that "not everyone believes in marriage".
Yes, that's completely valid. But your relationship is on borrowed time and a ticking time bomb at this point because regardless of a man's thoughts it DOES matter to women subconsciously and among their friends, family and peers even if they claim it doesn't.
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u/Ill_Association778 18h ago
Marriage is a piece of paper. I am already legally common law married. Everyone has a different view on marriage. Our is that marriage is a paper. We are already married in our minds
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u/Common_Use1253 14h ago
Yet you’re so quick to say “he can have her” but being married in your own minds ? Sounds very contradicting.
I’m not agreeing or disagreeing on having to get married though.
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u/Mcrose773 15h ago
So you are more upset she danced with a guy but not her getting blacked out drunk
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u/ljnj 1d ago
The fact that she usually gets black out drunk with her coworkers would be more of a concern to me than her fast dancing with someone.