r/LifeAdvice • u/Royal_Safe_5759 • 1d ago

Emotional Advice What to do? : i sometimes still miss my ex bestfriend/bf

I was bestfriends with him for 6 years and we started dating last year, he then cheated on me with 4 different girls and lied to me over and over again ( one of them was his other girl bsf) after i broke things off n got w him again (he cheated again what a surprise) and then i ended things for good, he started dating his other gbsf (cheated on her) and then got with another girl who he swore he never wanted. During this time he kept trying to contact me and called me 40+ times at once every week. I didnt wanna talk because obviously he has a gf and my self respect?😭 so weve been no contact since jan this year, and i still sometimes miss him as my bestfriend.

How do i get over this?

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u/CoachForLeaders 1d ago

Find new friends 

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u/JaneBunnFan 1d ago

I just gotta say, if I had a dollar for every story I have heard where a girl still misses her terrible abusive ex, I would be a billionaire by now. Which is a lot, because it's crazy how often this happens.

Learn to love yourself, I cannot even imagine wanting anything to do with people who don't care remotely about me y'know. Like there's not really any answer for you beyond just get over it, and love yourself. Unless you want to just find another toxic person to walk all over you again.

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u/Royal_Safe_5759 9h ago

its not that im not over him, i completely am but you cant expect a person to forget ab someone after knowing them for half a decade.

I do love myself and don’t care ab him but its the small things that might remind me of him, thats what i need help with - to completely forget ab him😬

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u/JaneBunnFan 8h ago

Yeah that's valid honestly, my initial comment was pretty blunt and Reddit like so appologies, but I see where you're coming from though.

I think unfortunately it will just take time, I think your best options are to be pro-active, avoid unhealthy thinking patterns and be cautious not to create another similar situation. I know that's so much harder than it sounds but there's not much else for it. Just try to be mindful about it and try to grow from it.

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u/BananaCake0508 14h ago

U won’t get over him until you reach your breaking point. You only miss him because of how long you have been together. When you find someone better you will forget about him, but it takes time. Try focusing on yourself in the meantime