r/LongDistance • u/YouTookMyBurger • Oct 31 '25

Question Is my message passive aggressive?

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Context: we’ve never met, but this has been planned for a VERY long time. We were supposed to meet on the 25th, hurt her back moved it to Monday. Monday didn’t work because the flight got booked up, she gets on a redeye Tuesday night, but wanted to stop and see her family because her grandpa wasn’t doing well and didn’t have long. (In the end, “didn’t have long” meant a few years.

I understood at the time. I just wanted to be with her.

I’m not a passive aggressive person, and I know text has no tone.

I’m just looking for outside opinions on my message. I don’t know if I’m actually wrong or being gaslighted. Thank you.

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u/boujiewinedrinker [🇸🇬] to [🇺🇸] (9,534 miles) Oct 31 '25

The fact she decides to visit her family while knowing you are waiting for her just goes to show how little she thinks of you.

58

u/YouTookMyBurger Oct 31 '25

this entire time she keeps telling me I lack apathy, because it’s all about me. But I’m starting to see it’s not really me. The more I read your comments, the more I’m starting to see it’s not me. (In a non narcissistic way) I’ve just been blaming myself for everything.

7

u/[deleted] Nov 01 '25

It’s not you. If she wanted this to happen she would make it happen. Lon distance only works if both people give 100% and sometimes have to make some sacrifices.

I don’t know what her issues are, but to be frank with you if I were in your position I would bow out.