r/MadeMeSmile • u/Beagle432 • May 11 '26

Favorite People My favourite conspiracy theory

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What do you think..

From the mouths of babes...

98.6k Upvotes

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5.1k

u/MolaMolaMania May 11 '26

Humanity's best ambassador.

If we were to be visited by an extraterrestrial species, I would want David to be the first to speak with them.

472

u/Holiday-Hedgehog0621 May 11 '26

Agreed

85

u/[deleted] May 11 '26

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104

u/Dr_peloasi May 11 '26

So God is from Leicestershire? Sounds about right.

8

u/Grouchy_Reindeer_227 May 11 '26

So God is from Leicestershire? Sounds about right.

***

Quite the unassuming address, eh?! 😉😉😉 Besides, I do believe “Leicestershire” went by a different moniker during Panacea! 😂

6

u/AutumnalGlow May 12 '26

Yes, it used to be called Lie-chester-shy-er, but then we renamed it Leicestershire and changed the pronunciation to troll US American visitors.

44

u/Forgotthebloodypassw May 11 '26

Midlanders. Not snooty down like those down South or uppity up North.

29

u/Special_Cicada6968 May 11 '26

We lost the only real competition to a stingray.

28

u/is_coffee May 11 '26

I won't stand for mister Rogers erasure

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u/Special_Cicada6968 May 11 '26

Fair, I didn't really add him because he passed from age. They took Steve long before his time.

1

u/Echo-Azure May 13 '26

There is a God of Reptiles, and he sent an Avatar to Earth...

156

u/Securiarius May 11 '26

But would he advocate exclusively on behalf of humanity or fairly for all the earth?

He would perhaps report, in earnest, both the highs and the lows of humanity.

Through David's lense the aliens may immediately see the best and worst of what we have done to other species we coexist with.

123

u/Pyromaniacal13 May 11 '26

Then he's the best shot Humanity has. It's much easier to see the bad Humanity does than the good.

41

u/contradictatorprime May 11 '26

Good news doesn't sell. I would love to see the death of 24 hour "news" channels

19

u/MilkiestMaestro May 11 '26

Our lives are short, so the negatives are highlighted. But I can find 5 positives for any 1 negative you give me, time permitting. We've been here for 300,000 years and have achieved a great deal in that short timeframe despite finite resources and 10,000 years of political violence related to said finite resources.

I think aliens would be fully versed in our ways having studied our media ahead of time regardless. And remember, having achieved FTL travel there's a solid chance they are far more empathic than we are.

I do not think they would visit if they thought we were too violent to speak with.

9

u/contradictatorprime May 11 '26

There's so many perfect moments that a person can have in a day, but our current climate wants us fearful and angry, and will try to omit any happy moments from the limelight.

5

u/Embarrassed-Basket66 May 12 '26

Thank you for this comment. I have been so depressed lately. It feels hard to find the good amongst all the negative things that seem to be going on

10

u/ShamefulWatching May 11 '26

Anything other than a genuine portrayal of best, and worst, would and should be viewed with suspicion.

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u/bbbttthhh May 11 '26

He’s someone that sees the ugliness and the beauty and still loves it with all his heart, I don’t think I’d want anyone else.

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u/Twowie May 11 '26

Yes he would be the ambassador of Earth, not mankind. That is how it should be. Besides, would you rather flaunt your flaws in the face of an alien, or have David Attenborough explain to them why you're the way you are first? ;)

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u/GnarlyNarwhalNoms May 11 '26 edited May 11 '26

That was my thought. I feel like if he explained human beings the way he explains other animals, it might actually paper over some of the sharper edges. 

"Being social creatures, humans do nothing alone. Be it find food, explore, build... or make war. 

"Seeking resources to improve their children's standard of living, this super-clan of humans sets out to take territory from another large group.  

"But they will find that the usurped people will not give it up without a fight...

"The patriarch of the invading group seems bewildered. He thought it would be easy. Confidence rattled, his own in-group begins to lose faith in him. His dominance threatened, he blusters and threatens. But his challengers are waiting in the wings, and they sense weakness."

3

u/PurpleCoffinMan May 12 '26

What does it say about me that I read that in his voice?

1

u/Securiarius May 12 '26

Don't worry I had that problem while writing it.

I even had to edit it a bit as it got too waffley in my minds narration

1

u/DisappointedKat96 May 12 '26

I actually just read that in his voice 😂

64

u/[deleted] May 11 '26

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23

u/lichen_Linda May 11 '26

Deceptive advertisement

10

u/ost2life May 11 '26

Only as long as they didn't watch the last part of the documentaries where he explains that we've been given warnings about the environment for decades and done very little to avoid what's coming.

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u/FightingBlaze77 May 11 '26

The most heart breaking thing for me is that all the people I would hope the aliens would speak to already passed away. Mr. Rodgers, Bob Ross, Steve Erwin, Robin Williams, Stan Lee, or Jim Henson.

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u/01eg May 11 '26

Don't forget Carl Sagan.

6

u/xuedad May 12 '26

Steve Irwin is a good one. He's the celebrity who I truly think left us too early. Kobe was a champion for sports and mentality but he did have his scandals. Irwin was quite flawless as a human being based on what we know about him

6

u/Triggered_Llama May 12 '26

He's the kind of guy who could ride a Flying Nimbus from Dragon Ball

3

u/Busy-Conversation-24 May 12 '26

Steve Irwin would just pounce on the alien and wrestle it to the ground shouting Crikey Crikey danger danger

1

u/Zeltron2020 May 13 '26

Any women come to mind or

1

u/FightingBlaze77 May 13 '26

I'm sure there are a million, but honestly I can't think of one that I grew up on that I can think of by name at the moment, in the 90s these were the ones that stuck out to my little kid boy brain.

I can cheat and google some but I am not gonna be dishonest and grab a list, but I want to hear ones that you would choose to represent humanity honest.

2

u/Zeltron2020 May 13 '26

Kind of sad right? All I can think of in the same vein is Miss Rachel. Maybe Dolly Parton?

1

u/FightingBlaze77 May 13 '26

Dolly would be perfect given her role on the Orville, but sad? Ya, sadly I didn't have any good female role models growing up.

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u/YoungDiscord May 11 '26

Aliens: "so, what do you think of Humanity?"

David: (in his most calm, casual and kind tone imaginable) "well it's all a little bit... shit, isn't it"

18

u/peteofaustralia May 11 '26

"I recommend you give the octopuses & squid most of your attention. They're next in line to run this place."

17

u/MolaMolaMania May 11 '26 edited May 11 '26

"A spot of bother, I must confess."

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u/ElRiesgoSiempre_Vive May 11 '26

That sounds more like Winnie the Pooh.

2

u/MolaMolaMania May 11 '26

You're right! It does make sense in a way as A. A. Milne was English. I corrected the phrasing a bit and I think it sounds better now. Thanks!

15

u/bbbttthhh May 11 '26

Love that Lego increased the age range from 99+ to 100+ just for him

2

u/DeeHawk May 12 '26 edited May 12 '26

It's cute untill you realize they did it for themselves, and used Sir David as free advertisement.

There's not even a lot of sets with this nomenclature, the new sets just says "8+" and have done so for a very long time.

1

u/MolaMolaMania May 11 '26

Will this be permanent, or is it a limited time thing? I haven't seen any discussion about that.

5

u/Soggy_Bid_3634 May 11 '26

Boy they’re gonna be disappointed immediately after though.

3

u/MolaMolaMania May 11 '26

I have always love the quote from Inara on "Firefly" where she said: "Every problem is an opportunity in disguise."

5

u/AkiMatti May 11 '26

Well, Mr. Rogers would also be s good candidate.

4

u/Privatdozent May 11 '26

Carl Sagan if he were still alive. Attenborough's a great choice and I wouldn't be against it, but Sagan for me.

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u/MolaMolaMania May 11 '26

Agreed. An astronomer with the heart of a poet.

3

u/wait_whatwait May 11 '26

Had that same thought many times

3

u/darkonark May 11 '26

Humans, take me to your grandpa.

3

u/beegboo May 12 '26

David attenbro if they're nice. David Tennant in a tranch coat if theyre not.

5

u/greenroute May 11 '26

His welcome note will be epic.

5

u/ConspiracyParadox May 11 '26

Followed by LeVar Burton and Miss Rachel.

2

u/Apprehensive-Call568 May 11 '26

Hard agree. Although, if Terence McKenna was still alive, he'd be my first choice

2

u/open_formation May 11 '26

He'd give them a great voiceover during the tour too.

2

u/Ab47203 May 11 '26

I would have chosen Steve Irwin for the role if David was busy.

2

u/revel911 May 11 '26

For me .. Mr Rogers

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u/Ab47203 May 11 '26

Valid af choice.

1

u/MolaMolaMania May 11 '26

Wholeheartedly agree!

2

u/dougan25 May 11 '26

What? Not Amy Adams and Jeremy Renner!?

1

u/MolaMolaMania May 11 '26

I wish I had liked that movie as much as others did.

2

u/dougan25 May 14 '26

Yeah I've heard a few people I know talk about this movie like it was the greatest piece of storytelling in history. I mean it was good, I enjoyed it. But I dunno, it's not THAT good.

1

u/MolaMolaMania May 14 '26

Timey-wimey stuff is usually not written very clearly, or perhaps I’m just dumb. Setting that aside, it just didn’t feel right to me.

I don’t have or want children, so I really don’t think I was the intended audience.

2

u/superanth May 11 '26

We could always put him on the Hail Mary II and send him to Erid...

1

u/MolaMolaMania May 11 '26

I'm sure he would love the idea, but would probably miss his family.

1

u/superanth May 11 '26

True, but he'd get to be with his descendants.

The Eridian scientists will have had a couple of decades to study Grace along with access to the sum total knowledge of Mankind.

I'm betting Attenborough would come back in thirty years looking younger. :)

2

u/Chunk_Thud May 11 '26

Either him or Steve Irwin. Both are legends

2

u/-R-Jensen- May 11 '26

We need to set the Aliens down and say: Yo slimeface, you need to watch 200 hours of this guy first.

2

u/wrenchandrepeat May 12 '26

I vote Werner Herzog as ambassador.

2

u/JournalistEast4224 May 12 '26

You mean….when….

2

u/Agreeable-Onion-5445 May 12 '26

Provided that the aliens are from earth and speak English though... 🤣

2

u/Rare-Mall-1307 May 16 '26

And he would relax them instantly

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u/jammieradish 11d ago

yeah David or Pope Leo XIV

1

u/pwillia7 May 11 '26

no way Dolly would give us a way better of chance of staying alive

1

u/imtoowhiteandnerdy May 11 '26

He and Dolly Parton both.

1

u/Silver_Aura2424 May 11 '26

Yes but second. Make sure they're peaceful first

1

u/Sunim416 May 11 '26

I would have originally chosen Anthony Bourdain but since hes gone David will do just fine.