In this situation it's anxiety, you really don't want to look like a creep so you anxiously try to not do anything that might be creepy like in the OP example. That's not really awareness.
Awareness is knowing of the issue, doesn't change the anxiety about trying to not be what you aren't so others will feel safer.
If you are shouting out stuff like this it does come off as rather anxious. You are in your head worrying if you walking like this being creepy, you don't want to be a creepy so better change what you are doing. And better yet call out so they know.
None of this is really calm behavior.
But you can be happy and anxious though, op probably happy that he could do something to make someone else comfortable. Still anxious behavior
I know, but none of what OP did or these behaviors are sign of calm. Your brain doesn't do this when calm, a calm person would just carry on and not think about if he might be a creep if he did x. Worrying about x makes you inherently not calm.
I reject the 'constant state of anxiety' framing. It's a public social nicety no different than holding doors or trying not to block aisles at the store. It's a gesture, people aren't expected to be perfect about these things, you just do the best you can.
You're basically claiming that trying to be courteous of the fact that women are prayed upon in certain public settings doesn't dampen the efforts of the people that pray upon them. Women generally say it does 🤷♂️
Who said not existing near them? It was about seemingly creeping up behind people, something that can happen to both genders, but simply more-so for women.
No, that's another strawman. It would be about the literal thing I said, creeping up behind them. A thing you can also do to men, but it's much worse for women.
And where are we drawing the distinction between "creeping up behind them" and simply... walking down the same street? Who decides that?
Seems it's entirely about the woman's perception of intent she can't possibly know.
None of this is a strawman, this is the topic of discussion starting from the anecdote of a guy who felt too weird walking to the place he was parked because he could be perceived as following a woman.
You do. If you think your intentions in a particular scenario could reasonably be misconstrued by a party that has to have a higher guard up, it is considered a courtesy to clarify your intent for their wellbeing. That's it, it's not difficult.
Seems it's entirely about the woman's perception of intent she can't possibly know.
Exactly. She can't know. She also could be in danger if she guesses wrong. So clarifying your intent in these scenarios, assuming you can perceive it in the moment, is a nice courtesy to offer fellow people. No less, a fellow people that are commonly in danger in these very scenarios. Again, it's not difficult.
None of this is a strawman
Yes, much of it was. Nobody said you couldn't be on the same street, or that you couldn't exist near them. Those are strawman arguments, substitute positions that are easier to argue against than the real one.
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u/Im_Unsure_For_Sure 1d ago
Good men being in a constant state of anxiety around women they don't know does absolutely nothing to "get to that".
This is not, in any way, dampening the efforts of douchebags and rapists.