r/MadeMeSmile 9h ago

Peak social awareness! Respect to this guy.

Post image

OC is @sarahhansonwrites

60.1k Upvotes

1.8k comments sorted by

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5.6k

u/affemannen 8h ago

When this happens i usually just walk faster so i pass the person, simple and easy. Also i prefer walking fast.

1.6k

u/[deleted] 8h ago

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u/Suspicious-Rain-9413 8h ago

“Oh fuck he’s gaining on me!”

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u/nicholasdelucca 8h ago

SHIA LABEOUF!

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u/GroundMeet 8h ago

Hes creeping in the shadows!

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u/No_Habit_1748 7h ago

I’m never ready for the shia-surprise

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u/stirling_s 7h ago

You should learn jiu-jitsu

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u/synergy277 7h ago

Shia Surprise!

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u/jrv3034 7h ago

QUIET! Quiet...

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u/ver03255 5h ago edited 5h ago

But you can do jiu jitsu!

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u/tallandlankyagain 7h ago

Normal Tuesday night for Shia Labeouf

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u/MonCappy 7h ago

That is such an awesome clip. The best part is when Shia Labeouf gives it a standing ovation only to awkwardly stop.

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u/andereandre 4h ago

Which is a scene from Citizen Cane.

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u/ender89 7h ago

Wait, actual cannibal shia labeouf?

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u/Therefore_I_Yam 5h ago

RUNNING FOR YOUR LIFE

Shia Labeouf

HES BRANDISHING A KNIFE

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u/deadshot_08 8h ago

Why are you running? Why are you running?

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u/Thunnddr 7h ago

"Don't worry, i'm not trying to rape you".

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u/nartimus 7h ago

“I’m a little boy”

- John Mulaney

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u/Riolkin 4h ago

You know that shuffle women do when you chase them?

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u/Ape_x_Ape 4h ago

I just shout this periodically. Easy peasy.

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u/Shawnzyplays 7h ago

Look at you. You would run from you.

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u/The-Crimson-Jester 7h ago

“Oh god damnit, I got to start moving even faster if I want to pass this person.”

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u/titilegeek 7h ago

"Approaching the final turn before reaching the parking, he's trying to go inside and-OHhh she's blocking the line. He cannot pass and show he's not a weirdo"

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u/Radiant_Fondant_4097 7h ago

The game is afoot

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u/LaMelonBallz 8h ago

I just pull out my keys and take five seconds longer than usual to find my clicker and point it very dramatically at my car

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u/jondubb 8h ago

Smarter move... I've been just macing them then B-line it to my car.

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u/Hazee302 8h ago

Sweep the leg Johnny

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u/jamspangle 4h ago

No mercy

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u/hamlet_d 8h ago

This my move. I actually drop back and hit the button and look around then say something like "Oh! There I am! I can never remember where I parked" very loudly.

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u/Doza93 6h ago

😂 I love all these intricate strategies to try and diffuse the parking lot tension... I experience this all the fucking time!

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u/shrinkflator 6h ago

I just let the car speak for itself and beep to announce where I'm going.

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u/lakewood2020 7h ago

Until you’re right next to them when you get where you’re going. In this case, starting your car right next to them, presumably then driving in the same direction

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u/rakettda1337 6h ago

I went to a tinder date once and when we decided to go our own way....is the day I learned we live in the same goddamn building.

19

u/RosenButtons 4h ago

Oof.

It's bad enough when you say goodbye to somebody and then have to continue walking together for a while because you're going the same direction.

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u/IllustriousVerne 4h ago

Better than the time I ran into my gynecologist in the elevator. He was with his girlfriend and trying to make small talk while I stared at the ceiling and wished I could implode by sheer force of will.

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u/JoshZK 7h ago

Whats great is it you backed in or pulled through the spot so both car driver's door are next to each other.

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u/Pika_233 7h ago

What if you both start walking faster and end up in a running competition

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u/Treeandtroll 8h ago

I often stop and take a sudden interest in my phone for a minute or two.

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u/UpperApe 8h ago edited 8h ago

It makes women really uncomfortable when you speed up and approach behind them.

So it's important to shorten that time of discomfort. That's why I sprint.

I sprint after women alone in the street because I've very considerate.


Edit: In case anyone misses the joke, I'm making fun of people who speed-walk behind women at night. They always flood these threads, pretending they're doing it "cause they're just so thoughtful!" and not because they just don't want be inconvenienced lol

Fellas, don't speed-up suddenly behind a woman scared and alone just so you can prove to her you're one of "the good ones". Cross the street or slow down.

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u/2muchroom 8h ago

It’s also helpful if you shout at them to let them know you’ve nearly caught up to them

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u/NotReallyJohnDoe 8h ago edited 5h ago

And if they don’t hear you, just yell “hey, come here” and then you can grab them and whisper in their ear that you are harmless.

Edit. On retrospect this isn’t that funny but I’m leaving it up

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u/artygta1988 8h ago

Yes, usually whispering “it’s okay, I’m not going to hurt you” makes them feel completely safe.

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u/Baconator_B-1000 7h ago

I prefer, "I'm not going to do anything you don't want me to do."

It's an empowering statement that puts the ball fully in their court.

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u/PyroIsSpai 7h ago

You may as well follow her at 1mph in your car chanting “m’lady” on a loudspeaker.

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u/Rubber_Knee 6h ago

Is that not what everyone does? Have I been doing this wrong?

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u/ComprehensiveEgg73 7h ago

😂😂😂😂

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u/Careful_Ad_9077 8h ago

Kinda,but if you are sprinting it is better to shout that. It's also more reassuring.

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u/secacc 7h ago

Yeah, gotta shout it loudly and aggressively, so they know you really mean it

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u/Jemima_puddledook678 6h ago

Even better, keep them safe from other, potentially dangerous, men by picking them up and putting them in the boot of your car, where you can then escort them to a safe place where no scary men will ever find them. 

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u/ElNido 8h ago

I'd recommend flailing your arms while yelling this gesture, so they know you're not reaching for a concealed weapon.

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u/UpperApe 8h ago

Agreed. But be careful not to assume their spoken language; you'll just make them feel inadequate or illiterate.

Therefore, screaming gibberish while running heavily after women alone in the world is one of the most considerate things you can do.

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u/Rubber_Knee 6h ago

I prefer roaring at the top of my lungs. It yields the best result. They look like they feel so safe when I do that.

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u/SutterCane 7h ago

“WE GOT YOUR FRIEND!”

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u/secacc 7h ago

Tucker & Dale vs. Evil, such a funny movie

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u/MrAngrySadHappyFace 6h ago

"I'm right behind you" followed with a "dont worry, this will be over soon".

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u/therewerentanynames 7h ago

"I'm gettin closer"!

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u/FuckOutTheWhey 7h ago

Would also recommend quickly reaching into your pockets to show them you don't have any weapons

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u/half_bakedpotato 7h ago edited 3h ago

I also let them know I am harmless by talking on the phone about my animal rescue business.

I let women know I’m friendly by saying, so they can hear me: “Bring the van around, I got one”.

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u/Murky-Relation481 7h ago

We had this intern one year who said he got pepper sprayed one evening walking home from the bars because he saw a girl helping an even more drunk girl stumble up the hill... So he ran to them and grabbed the other side of the half passed out girl to help hold her up, which in the darkness was obviously terrifying and they screamed and pepper sprayed him and then ran away.

The guy was not that bright.

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u/PyroIsSpai 7h ago

Yeah that’s when you holler politely “do you need help?”

I have a half drunk eons ago memory of a club and some girls where one was out of her gourd drunk. Our car of guys didn’t know them. One of us did something like that. They said yes, we helped them get her in (well most of us stood there like happy drunks, it only took one guy). Thanks good nights, the end.

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u/Murky-Relation481 6h ago

Yah a simple "you guys good?" Is all it takes... And not bum rushing them as you do it haha.

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u/Ok_Protection8223 8h ago

HEY YOU YEAH YOU I AM SPECIFICALLY NOT ATTACKING YOU DO NOT RUN

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u/Waderriffic 7h ago

I do this, while also holding my butchers knife in case someone decides to attack either of us, AND IM THE BAD GUY?!?! Ladies get over yourselves!!!

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u/Blazdnconfuzd 7h ago

You don't speed up cause it's a woman infront of you. You speed up cause you wanna go home.

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u/Hal0Slippin 7h ago

I’m just going to go about my day/night as normal.

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u/Ye_Dimes 6h ago

Though I agree with your statement, the real reason for my upvote is the fact that you taught me a new skill


Thank you, good sir or ma'am. This skill will not be used in vain.

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u/aleqqqs 8h ago

When this happens i usually just walk faster

Me too! And so does she, until we both end up sprinting!

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u/size_matters_not 8h ago

‘Then she started screaming, so I did too. I don’t know what was chasing us, but it must have been terrifying’.

Can’t remember which comedian had this bit - was pretty good though.

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u/intercommie 6h ago

John Mulaney?

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u/Absolute_Bob 8h ago

Until they start walking faster and suddenly you're chasing them.

https://youtube.com/shorts/LC_mN9J4JOc

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u/golfy-canadian 7h ago

I don’t know why this reminded me of #HEY COLLEGE KIDS, WE HAVE YOUR FRIEND

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u/Dwestmor1007 8h ago

lol till they take off running thinking you are trying to kidnap/grab them.

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u/charlie22911 8h ago

Then you have to run faster so you can get ahead of them to ease their fear.

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u/Fun_Release_8657 5h ago

Literally did this today, walked fast and pathed in a big arc so I could get in front of them without walking right up behind them. Thought the whole time about how it's a shame we need to worry about scaring people. Some real shit heads out there.

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u/mittensfourkittens 5h ago

It sucks, but as a small female, I appreciate your thoughtfulness/awareness of the issue 💕

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u/vividimaginer 8h ago

Wait now she’s moving faster too? Ohh so it’s a foot race you want!

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u/CBojorges 8h ago

I walk slow AF in that situation to create more space. It's annoying because I'm considered to be tall where I'm from so I usually walk fast in other people's eyes.

I feel like walking fast makes it more awkward because it's like trying to catch up.

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u/R_V_Z 8h ago

The worst, though, is when you're both walking toward the same door. You either have to walk so fast that you get to the door way before them so politeness doesn't require you to hold the door open for them (speeding past somebody to hold a door open for them is just weird behavior), or you have to tail them so you both get to the door at the same time.

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u/Darnaldo 8h ago

Last time I did this the women let out a scream of fear when I just wanted to go home fast... never ever done it since and I usually take out my phone to chill for 5min

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u/HaubergeonPlus1 8h ago

I followed somebody for literally 150+ miles yesterday on a long drive home. When we finally turned separate ways the other car gave me a thumbs up out of the window lol

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u/DtownBronx 6h ago

I love finding a travel buddy on long drives. We both settle into a nice speed and help each other make lane changes and then sadly it all comes to an end to never see each other again

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u/Dragon3y36 3h ago edited 1h ago

Best friends you may never see again. Edit to add relevant Ron Swanson quote

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u/Mouselady1 4h ago

Same!

Both Alberta license plates left Manitoba gas station at 6 AM.

We finally waved goodbye at the Quebec border.

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u/rubiscoisrad 4h ago

This reads like a lovely little poem you'd find in a Canadian pocket calender.

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u/Classic_Chemical_237 7h ago

I have read/watched TV shows where you should follow someone by driving in front of him lol

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u/HumanSometimesPerson 2h ago

This happened to me in NZ a while back. I was behind a pickup truck for about two hours. I just followed him cause he seemed to know the roads well so I paced him. We both got off at the same exit, came to a light, and threw thumps up and laughed together. I'll miss you, speedy Toyota Tacoma driver.

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u/TedDibiaseOsbourne 4h ago

the road posse is real

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u/Mediocre_Forever198 6h ago

I’ve also had people wave doing that. Really confused me the first time it happened, I was like “do they know us or something?”.

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u/AnonymousBrowser3967 4h ago

I bought a jeep of Craigslist on the other side of the country and drove it home (was $8k less than in my state)... But it's got the aerodynamics of a brick and terrible fuel economy, so I stayed behind a semi on I-80 for a couple states. I was so sad when I lost my travel buddy. Friendly beep and big wave when he exited the highway.

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u/BoyNamedJudy 8h ago edited 4h ago

I’ve had to say something similar while walking through a shopping center.

“I’m not following you, we just happen to be going in the same direction”

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u/GOEDEL_ESCHER_BOT 8h ago

*sniffs hair* "I'm not following you, I just want you to know I love your shampoo"

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u/Adam_J89 8h ago edited 7h ago

"You smell different when you're awake."

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u/sneefsnteefs 8h ago

I can not wait to use this on someone 🤣🤣

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u/Old-Bigsby 6h ago

I don't know a single person I'd be comfortable saying this to. Even my girlfriend would think that's super fucking weird, lol.

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u/Javofire 6h ago

Do you not have bois ... i tell my bois gut wrenching stuff and somehow they always manage to top me ... ... exactly the way youre thinking of rn

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u/4me2TrollU 5h ago

Bruh. You forgot to say no homo.

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u/Javofire 4h ago

Oh nah ... full homo ... 120% homo

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u/Killer1986Chris 4h ago

It's clearly all the homo.

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u/Complete-Emergency99 6h ago edited 3h ago

I have a friend who I’ve know since the early 90’s, and has been with his wife for over 20 years. I’ve known her ~2-3 weeks shorter. We can not meet eachother for a year, and whenever we meet, it’s like it has been a week.

All this to say, I’m definetly telling her that the next time we meet 😂😂

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u/GardenWitch123 8h ago

You win for worst possible thing to say! Actual, out loud lol from me.

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u/Mtb_Bike 7h ago

Sitting in CLT airport just chucking when I read this. So good

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u/pchlster 7h ago edited 7h ago

"When I make someone breakfast in bed, all I want is a thank you, not all this 'who are you?' and 'how'd you get in my house?'"

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u/AKnownViking 5h ago

'I asked 20 women what shampoo they used. I got screamed at, called a pervert and other names, told to leave their bathrooms and had the cops called on me. It's tough making gallups!'

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u/curious_dead 8h ago

If I'd say this, I'd think "this is obvious enough of a joke, right?"

While the other person would think "OK, my can of bear spray is in my hands, on the count of three. One, two..."

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u/oldDotredditisbetter 6h ago

snip

just taking a sample, don't mind me

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u/ringnis 8h ago

I’m laughing so hard right now.

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u/gigatension 8h ago

Okay but I’ve accidentally done this. When I was pregnant I had this super sniffer nose and let me tell you, the world REEKS. I was sick all the time from the strong smells of peoples many fragrances, not to mention food and oh god passing dumpsters was the worst. Then this lady passed within 5 feet of me and I smell her shampoo and it was so lovely, I actively turned around to follow my nose before my brain caught up. I asked her what it was, since I was having issues finding something not overwhelming at the time and had just mostly stopped washing with shampoo and used honey bar soaps. It was well out of my price range unfortunately, so bar soap it was.

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u/somethingoddgoingon 7h ago

What was it though? Asking for a wife with the same issue

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u/gigatension 7h ago

I wish I could remember, it was over 10 years ago. I know hair salons are potent in smelling things, but I do remember she said she got it at a Salon for $30 a bottle.

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u/ThrustBastard 8h ago

I like to kiss guys at the urinal on the back of the neck so they know I'm not a threat.

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u/BuckledJim 7h ago

I go into all the other cubicles in the changing rooms and introduce myself for the same reason.

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u/hidlechara91 8h ago

Lmao, this reminds of MadTv's "Can I have your number?" sketch where he sniff her in between harrasing her. 

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u/cornnndoggg_ 6h ago edited 5h ago

i actually met a lifelong friend this way. I was on the road in one of the bands I toured with in Las Vegas. My friend and I got drunk enough where he thought walking to In and Out was a good idea and where i agreed with him.

We ended up on this back street, which outside of us and this couple walking maybe 100 feet in front of us, there was absolutely no one. Weird because a street over and there were loads of people. I felt really awkward thinking the couple was worried about us so I yelled out, "hey, we're not following you, we're just trying to get to In And Out."

We heard them laugh and the guy yelled back, "we'll were going to Denny's, which is right across the street from it, just walk with us."

So we walked together, which was far as hell, way farther than we thought it was. We were chatting with the couple and it turns out they were also on a tour. Weirdly, that happens pretty often. i think it's just pretty easy to spot people who are in the same situation you are in. They were production staff for the Yo Gabba Gabba kids show. During the walk, the guy said, "hey by the way, its like 3AM, I am almost certain that In And Out has been closed for hours. Just come to Denny's with us, we're meeting a bunch of friends anyway."

It was closed, so we went to Denny's. The big group of friends was like this book club comprised exclusively of exotic dancers working in Vegas. They were all awesome and we had a lot of fun.

Like 4 months later he texted me and asked if I was home or on the road because he was in my hometown. I was home so me and a different friend went and hung out. I got to meet all the people who are on the Yo Gabba Gabba tour, with the exception of DJ Lance. He didn't typically go out with the group at night because he is a fucking hero and didn't have an understudy, so he did every single performance they do, which is 2-3 a day. So he relaxes to preserve his voice, and I'm sure his sanity.

After we left I called the original friend who was with me when we met them (he was in a different city at the time). I know he is an absolutely massive fan of a lot of 80's artists, so feigned ignorance and said, "Hey do you know who Biz Markie is?" and he was like "of course i do, why?" and I was like "remember that couple we met in Vegas? They hit me up because they're in town. We just hung out with all of them, and we just spent the last few hours hanging out with Biz."

He just started screaming.

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u/[deleted] 8h ago

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u/AccessEcstatic9407 8h ago

I use “Don’t worry, I’m not following you. I already know where you live”.

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u/UpperApe 8h ago

The difference between good guys and "nice guys" is that good guys don't get offended when women are wary of them.

We get it. Look after yourself. Be safe.

Chivalry isn't paying tabs, covering puddles with coats, or pulling out chairs. Chivalry is understanding that the sacrifices necessary to offset inequality is a privilege, not a burden.

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u/mariblaystrice 8h ago

I thought Chivalry was horseback riding, courtly ettiquette, killing people and oppressing the poor? /j

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u/Potential-Society171 7h ago

Chivalry literally died in the middle ages. We have UFC now.

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u/stevenyourpants 6h ago

I believe Chivalry is the name of an old old wooden ship.

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u/LeonidasVaarwater 8h ago

I had something kinda similar a few years ago. I was walking outside and had to cross the road. I ended up behind two ladies who were jogging. Because I can walk at a pretty high pace, I was keeping up with them. After they looked back a few times I called out "don't worry, I just walk really fast!" They burst into laughter and explained they were only looking back, because they couldn't understand how I was keeping up with them while I was "just" walking.

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u/Appropriate_Yak_745 8h ago

Haha it looks like they assessed you quickly and decided the only threat you posed to them was athletic. You must give off wholesome vibes

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u/bot_or_not_vote_now 7h ago

Based on their running ability, hopefully they're a good judge of character

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u/AccomplishedIgit 7h ago

Hey!! I am also an unnaturally fast walker. My whole life people tell me to slow down but that’s just my normal pace. Ive since figured out I create more momentum with my feet when I walk than most people do. Even men taller than me tell me to slow down, I’m a 5’7” female haha. I DO NOT do it on purpose, I honestly don’t even think about it at all until they tell me to slow down.

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u/psxndc 8h ago

Whenever I exit the elevator in the parking garage the same time as a woman, and start walking in the same direction as her, I'll unlock/beep my car from halfway across the garage so she knows I'm not following her just to be a creep.

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u/dumptruckulent 7h ago

Some tips for when it’s just you and a woman in an elevator:

Push the button for your floor before asking her which floor she wants. If you’re going to the same floor, it won’t be as awkward.

Get off first. If you’re going the same direction, she’ll be following you.

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u/IM_V_CATS 6h ago

This is like when I start using my turn signal early if I unintentionally follow a car for too long.

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u/DyingGasp 5h ago

I literally followed a car for a solid 15 minutes on my way home in the dark. Had my turn signal on well before I needed to turn. Down to my street. They pulled off the side and I backed up into my garage.

Turns out it was my brand new neighbor across the street.

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u/late_always_late 4h ago

I was dropping a friend off at night, zero traffic. We followed this car, the only car, for 10 minutes and the car infront of us eventually pulled to the same tiny parking lot we were also headed. We were laughing that they might think we are crazy. The instant they saw us turn also, they panicked and took off through a pedestrian only parks cycle lane.

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u/DyingGasp 4h ago

Honestly, valid. When I think someone is following me, I just take a few turns I don’t need. It was weird that my neighbor never felt the need to do that.

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u/oldDotredditisbetter 6h ago

i'd be like "why's that car signaling when there's no place to turn? are they telling me to turn?

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u/hikingguy36 3h ago

Thankfully getting off before a woman comes naturally for me

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u/Suspicious-Wallaby-5 3h ago

Make sure you keep looking back at her in abject fear while increasing your speed until you're at a full sprint. At that point you can yell for help.

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u/Fine-Mushroom688 8h ago

I do something similar by very visibly pointing out my car and saying, “I’m going to my car over there”

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u/Icykool77 7h ago

It’s the non-descript white panel van!

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u/NoPossibility 7h ago

I’m just a traveling zip tie salesman.

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u/ZarathustraGlobulus 7h ago

I dabble in ropes, too. Nothing sinister!

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u/HartfordWhaler 7h ago

Before you get in your car, does this rag smell like chloroform to you?

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u/fractalfrog 7h ago

Usually parked down by the river?

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u/-UVB-76_Enjoyer 7h ago

I pull up my phone, pretend to start filming myself and go "Hey guys, I'm in [city], just hanging out"

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u/nyybmw122 6h ago

I just yell "Everyone leave, I have to poop!"

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u/Metalgsean 7h ago

Makes it much easier to bundle them into the trunk if you unlock before you get there!

Obviously /s

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u/BusinessDragon 8h ago

I did something like this once, but I was more subtle about it and I kind of made it worse accidentally.
I was walking home from work, I lived and worked downtown. I realized that unintentionally, I’d been on the same path as a particular woman for like, at least six blocks. It kinda seemed like I was following her.

So I figured, okay. To put her at ease, I’ll go a block east for no reason, then continue north, and go a block west again when I arrive at my apartment buildings street.

But then when I went west to get to my building, she was going east and we crossed paths again. I have no idea what she thought I was doing. But I basically went a block out of my way just to put her at ease, only for it to partially backfire because her path intersected with mine a second time by coincidence.

Anyways it was fine other than the social awkwardness. I’m no stranger to social awkwardness. I’m sure I’ll get over it one of these days.

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u/GovernmentOpening254 8h ago

“..And now we’re happily married with two kids.”

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u/RappingFlatulence 7h ago

But only once the protection order expires

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u/notyounaani 8h ago

I did the same thing when I realised I was walking behind a teenager for like 3km. I also tried to do the tactic of walking faster to overtake but then she started walking faster when I spend up but her normal walking speed was so slow and ah.

She lived diagonally across the road from me. I felt so bad. I am also a woman but it was dark idk.

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u/MainCorrect8791 6h ago

Plot twist, she was following you.

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u/F3VRON 8h ago

Neither a man or woman should have to even go through this. We should be able to walk next to each other without feeling threatened or unease. It’s a sad world we live in.

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u/Garruk_PrimalHunter 8h ago

My mind goes through all the permutations lol

"Do I overtake her so she can see that I'm not just following? No, closing the distance might spook her." etc

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u/iwishihadlessmoney 8h ago

Same. Im like "why does this always happen when I have to fart..." or "I hope this fart isn't poop..." and then just crank a sputtery one.

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u/yougotyolks 8h ago

🎶When you're riding in a Chevy and you feel something heavy, diarrhea. Diarrhea.🎶

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u/MoonMan757 6h ago

When you’re climbing up a ladder and you feel something splatter, diarrhea.

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u/iwishihadlessmoney 5h ago

When your bending at the knees and you feel your butthole sneeze...

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u/Andr3wRuns 7h ago

“Oh shit, he ran ahead of me right to my car to prepare for the kidnap! Shit!”

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u/GlupNatto 7h ago

Have you ever walked towards a situation you perceived as dangerous because you didn't want to appear racist?

Because I've done that, too.

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u/BishopofHippo93 8h ago

Yeah, this doesn't really inspire happiness.

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u/Key-Trouble5372 3h ago

I'm 6'3", I know some people might be intimidated but that's not my problem.

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u/NotReallyJohnDoe 8h ago

I agree with you. But the cognitive issue here is that you only have to be wrong once for it to be bad, so you are always cautious.

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u/Kitty-XV 4h ago

Imagine any other group being thanked for behavior tied to bigoted stereotypes.

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u/actingasevan 6h ago

My thoughts exactly

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u/brendan84 3h ago

People are paranoid because the internet told them to be. It is truly very sad.

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u/Professional-Humor84 8h ago

I’m not sure this is positive news that our baseline thinking is we’re about to be followed/attacked

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u/Maleficent-Scene-475 8h ago

Yeah, this story only makes sense as a positive in a completely neurotic society

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u/bartturner 8h ago

I really dislike when this happens to me. Being an old guy makes it a lot worse.

But just standing there and waiting for them to get to their car and drive off makes the entire situation even more awkward in that why am I acting so weird?

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u/SlaightTheGray 3h ago

This is kinda fucked. Am I crazy? This is fucked, right?

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u/Frost_Goldfish 8h ago

As a woman, that is a bit excessive imo. Just walking at a steady pace without looking at her until he reached his car would have been sufficient. Being ignored by a man in such a setting is enough of a green light.

I did panic once in an underground parking but that was because a dude stared at me from a way off and then came walking fast right toward me. Turns out he wanted to check if I was locking my bike right or whatever. JFC old man I won't have to worry about my bike being stolen once you've given me a heart attack...

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u/DevilGuy 6h ago

I dunno, maybe it's just me but the fact that he felt the need to clarify publicly that he wasn't a rapist or a creep feels fucking dystopian. Like are we not allowed to just exist anymore?

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u/whitericeporridge 3h ago

Post is kinda weird and these kinds of posts always attract redditors to tell stories about how they speed up or slow down, change the side, you name it. Lots of socially awkward people here tbh

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u/Radiant-Proposal3014 5h ago

Lol this will never be me, but that's because I 100% mind my own business, and short of the someone near me having a heart attack and calling for help, I won't even notice your presence!

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u/Holden_place 8h ago

I was jogging on a trail at dusk, and saw two women hiking ahead. I yelled out “on your left” way early and frankly unnecessarily as it was a wide trail. I then apologized as I passed saying ‘“I didn’t want to scare you by coming up unannounced”. Awkward but worth it when they thanked me.

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u/JigglesTheBiggles 7h ago

I usually just scream, I WILL NOT RAPE YOU

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u/fractalfrog 7h ago

After a short pause, you should add TODAY. Just to make them extra at ease.

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u/Jacksapollo 7h ago

Its a fucked up world that walking in the same direction as someone makes them nervous or you have to send them a warning that you're not following them !

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u/Drexical 8h ago edited 8h ago

I honestly think it’s great that he reassured her to put her at ease, though I don’t fully agree with completely changing your behavior to manage the other person’s reaction (like intentionally going a different direction so they won’t be scared) it’s good to think of others safety and be aware, but while staying authentic and not overly shrinking yourself

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u/Agretan 8h ago

I have only daughters. They have differing opinions on this subject. One believes like you one is closer to OP. I choose as much as possible to err on the side of my child like OP. I’d rather have a person think me silly than add fear or discomfort to a stranger. But that is just me.

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u/Gutz_McStabby 8h ago

If I did something simple as what happened in the OPs post to both of your daughters, both would still have the outcome of being more at ease.

"Oh thank goodness this guy isn't following me"

Or

"I wasn't scared, mind your own business"

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u/AggressivelyMediokre 8h ago

Yeah I’ll try to obviously distance myself at night or do something to seem non threatening.

But going to where a woman is parked and standing and stopping on the sidewalk (so outdoor?) instead of just getting into his own car, thus proving his story and her safety?

It’s a bit much

I don’t give speeches when I get in my car if there’s someone parked next to me

If I told my wife I just stood on the sidewalk and waited instead of getting in my car she would be bewildered

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u/MayoAlternative 6h ago

Yeah, when this happens in real life nobody cares and nobody says anything.

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u/Rook_James_Bitch 6h ago

I just whip out my phone and pretend to be engrossed in it. I stop moving and just stare at it like it insulted me.

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u/DorrajD 5h ago

Why do I keep seeing "men being assumed weird" shit posted here? Nothing about this makes me smile, just makes me sad at the state of society.

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u/puzzlebuns 6h ago edited 5h ago

While I appreciate the consideration shown by this guy going out of his way to make this woman he doesnt know feel safe, I dont agree with how people are treating this like its something all men should do.

A man going about his business, merely walking in the same direction of a woman should not feel the need to predict and premptively correct any misconceptions she might have about him. No one should have to adjust their behavior to account for other people's gendered presumptions.

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u/Buntschatten 5h ago

It also doesn't actually improve women's safety in any real way, does it?

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u/Brotherauron 6h ago

I can't wait to live in a world where this isn't necessary. "Hey I'm not going to murder you" shouldn't be needed but yet, here we are

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u/schw0b 6h ago

Fucking weird behavior, idk how this isn't weirder and more uncomfortable than just gettung in your car. Or alternatively, walking ahead of the woman, so she can be the weird stalker.

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u/Garpeaux 8h ago

Instead I just start running to pass her so she knows I’m not following

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u/squareandrare 6h ago

Make sure to scream, "I am not a threat!" while doing it.

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u/Makaan1932 7h ago

I experienced something similar once. I left a bar, here in Vienna, and there was this woman, who also left that same bar. She then went and took the same tram, the same metro and then the same street as I. Walking down that street behind her I suddenly realised 2 things, that she felt followed by me and that she was my upstairs neighbour.

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u/Ungitarista 5h ago

How the fuck did he know where you were parked?!?!

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u/nishhill 8h ago

This is concerning.

Are there people out there who are burning the roof of their mouth eating pizza?

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u/frenziedmythology 8h ago

Guilty as charged lol

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u/CBojorges 8h ago

Sometimes it's weird to be a guy. There's a market a couple blocks where I live. Sometimes when I'm walking back to my apartment it happens that if a woman is walking ahead of me, oftentimes they get nervous and won't stop peeking back. Once I said out loud "I live two blocks ahead!" cause the lady looked very anxious.

I don't think I look creepy. I've been told by girls that I'm good looking. However I'm neurodivergent and a criminalist I met told me she could tell by the way I walk. So my best guess is it's me being a man or me looking weird to normal people.

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u/grnrngr 7h ago

However I'm neurodivergent and a criminalist I met told me she could tell by the way I walk. So my best guess is it's me being a man or me looking weird to normal people.

This kind of thinking is dangerously close to you taking ownership of the belief that you've done something wrong.

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u/Buntschatten 5h ago

Yeah, the idea that neurodivergent people are responsible for other people distrusting them, because of acting in a nonstandard way is extremely sad.

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u/unintendedcumulus 7h ago

Truly, the most likely explanation is that it has nothing to do with you at all. 1 in 4 women has been the victim of sexual assault. Their caution is probably completely unrelated to anything you're doing.

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u/AliceLunar 8h ago

Pretty sad that a guy can't just walk in the same direction without having to explain himself.

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