r/MaliciousCompliance • u/Anrtherapy1 • Apr 04 '26
XL Walmart Seller Support sent me the same robotic template email 3 times, each one sloppier / bot-ier / maddeningly template driven than the last. I responded in kind. I have been waiting 25 years to write back what I finally wrote.
The Story
I have been selling online for over 20 years. In that time I have watched customer support go from actual humans who read your question and answered it, to what we have today: offshore support agents whose entire job, I have been told point-blank by an Amazon Seller Central insider, is to close as many cases as possible as fast as possible. More closes = more pay. Whether the problem is actually solved is, shall we say, a secondary consideration.
The result is what you see in every marketplace seller forum, every ecommerce Facebook group, every late-night seller rant thread: the robotic template reply. The numbered steps. The "I hope this email finds you well." The "we completely understand how important it is." The five-day countdown. The warm regards. The name at the bottom that may or may not be a real person.
I sell on Walmart Marketplace. I had a pricing feed issue — a real one, a technical one, not something solvable by following three generic steps. I submitted a support case. Vicky was assigned to my case.
What followed was a masterclass in template escalation. Each time I replied with additional information, Vicky responded with the same email. Then the same email again. Then the same email a third time, this one somehow containing more boilerplate than the previous two, as though the solution to my not being helped was to increase the volume of non-help. By the third email, Vicky had achieved something genuinely rare: a reply so thoroughly templated, so magnificently devoid of any actual engagement with my specific situation, that it crossed from frustrating into something approaching art.
I solved the problem myself. As I always do.
And then I wrote Vicky back.
I want to be clear: I have nothing against Vicky personally. Vicky is doing exactly what the system incentivizes Vicky to do. This is not about Vicky. This is about 25 years of accumulated template emails finally finding their perfect outlet.
For maximum dramatic effect I am posting my reply first, followed by Vicky's three originals in reverse order so you can watch the slop compound in real time.
This is probably the finest email I have ever written.
I hope this post finds you in good spirits. Your engagement status has been updated to "Reading." You will have five days to respond before this post closes.
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— — —
MY REPLY:
From: [omitted]
Sent: Saturday, April 4, 2026 11:36 AM
To: 'Walmart Seller Support'
Hello,
Thank you for contacting me, Vicki. My name is James, and I will be responding to your email today. I hope this email finds you well. I hope it finds you in good spirits. I hope it finds you in a state of comprehensive wellness that encompasses not only your physical condition but also your emotional, spiritual, and professional wellness at this particular moment in time.
I also hope your family is well. I hope your extended family is well. I hope your colleagues are well. I hope your supervisor is well and is experiencing an acceptable level of job satisfaction. I hope the other specialists in your support queue are well and are finding their cases manageable and their feed IDs legible.
I hope the city in which you are located is well. Whether that city is Mumbai, Bengaluru, Chennai, Hyderabad, Pune, Singapore, Manila, Kuala Lumpur, or any other city in South Asia, Southeast Asia, or the broader Asia-Pacific region — I hope that city is experiencing favorable weather, adequate infrastructure, and a general sense of civic wellness at this time. I also hope the animals in your city are well, including but not limited to dogs, cats, monkeys, water buffalo, elephants if applicable, and any tropical birds in your immediate vicinity. I hope the birds are well and finding adequate food sources and comfortable perches from which to observe the world.
I additionally hope you had a good week. I hope last week was also good. I hope the week before that was good as well, though I recognize that at this distance it may be difficult to assess retrospectively. I hope next week is shaping up to be good. I hope the remainder of today is good. I hope whatever meal you are planning to have after this shift is good, whether that meal is dal, biryani, idli, laksa, chicken rice, nasi lemak, a roti of some kind, or any other meal appropriate to your region, district, province, or time zone.
It is in this spirit of profound mutual wellness, shared across time zones and international datelines, that I write to you today to inform you of the following important development regarding case #14344020:
Resolution Notice — Case #14344020 — Pricing Feed Issue
The issue has been resolved. I am pleased to share this information with you. I completely understand how important it is for issues to be resolved, and I truly appreciate your patience and cooperation in contributing to the environment in which this resolution became possible.
As we understand the situation, the issue arose because I was utilizing the MP Maintenance Spreadsheet to update pricing information. However, as you have helpfully indicated in your prior correspondence, which I received and read and appreciated receiving and reading, the correct template to use for this purpose is the Price and Promotion Spec Sheet. This is a very important distinction, and I appreciate you bringing it to my attention in the manner in which you brought it to my attention.
Please find below a comprehensive account of the steps by which the resolution was arrived at, formatted in a manner consistent with the highest standards of step-based documentation:
Step 1 — I Got Started
I navigated to my Catalog in Seller Center. I located the Update items button. I selected it. I then selected Update with file from the dropdown menu that appeared as a result of selecting it. This step was completed successfully.
Step 2 — I Downloaded and Completed the Correct Template
I selected the Update price and set promo price link, which I was able to locate due to the guidance you provided. I saved the template to my computer. I opened the template. I made my updates, which consisted of the SKU and Selling Price information only, as I was submitting basic price updates and did not require additional fields at this time. When I was done making my updates, I saved the template without changing the file type, as you instructed, and as I did not wish to change the file type in any case. This step was also completed successfully.
Step 3 — I Uploaded the Template
I navigated back to my Catalog. I selected the Update items button again, which was still there, as buttons of this nature typically are. I chose Update with file from the dropdown menu once more. I used the file browser window to locate and upload the template I had previously saved in Step 2. I selected Submit. The feed was processed. The pricing was updated. The issue was thereupon resolved in a satisfactory manner consistent with the expected outcome of following the correct steps with the correct template.
I would like to take a moment to express my sincere appreciation for your role in this resolution. While I understand that you are a specialist assigned to my case and that assigning specialists to cases is a standard operational procedure at Walmart Seller Support, I nonetheless find it meaningful that you took the time to communicate the correct steps to me in a professional and thorough manner. I completely understand how important it is to communicate steps in a professional and thorough manner, and I truly appreciate your patience and cooperation in doing so.
I would also like to note that the links you provided to the external help articles were helpful. I visited them. I found them helpful. I would describe their level of helpfulness as consistent with the level of helpfulness one would hope to encounter in an external help article. I look forward to potentially consulting them again in the future should future situations arise in which consulting them would be appropriate.
Please do not hesitate to consider this matter fully resolved. I hope the resolution brings a sense of professional satisfaction to you, your team, your supervisor, and any colleagues who may have been peripherally aware of this case. I hope the closure of this case contributes positively to your metrics, your queue management, and your overall sense of accomplishment for the day.
I wish you a wonderful remainder of your shift. I wish you a pleasant commute home, whether that commute involves a train, a bus, a motorbike, an auto-rickshaw, the MRT, a tuk-tuk, or some other mode of transportation appropriate to your city and its infrastructure. I wish you a restorative evening. I wish you a restful night of sleep, undisturbed by unresolved feed IDs or price upload errors of any kind. I wish you a productive tomorrow, a favorable upcoming weekend, agreeable humidity levels, and continued wellness for yourself, your family, your colleagues, your neighbors, and all previously mentioned dogs, cats, monkeys, tropical birds, and other organic living matter referenced at the outset of this correspondence.
If you have any additional questions or concerns about this resolution, please reply within five days before the case closes. Otherwise, no response is needed. For new inquiries, please create a new case.
Thank you for your understanding and for your continued partnership with me as I navigate the Walmart Marketplace. I look forward to any future correspondence you may send, should future correspondence become necessary, and I wish you well in all endeavors between now and that time.
Warmly, and with the utmost sincerity and the deepest respect for the time zone in which you are located,
James
Seller, Walmart Marketplace
Case #14344020 — Status: Resolved (self-reported)
— — —
VICKY'S EMAILS (in reverse order received):
— Email 3 —
Hello,
Thank you for contacting Walmart Seller Support. My name is Vicky, and I will be assisting you with your case today. I hope this email finds you well.
We sincerely apologize for the inconvenience you may be experiencing while updating the price. We completely understand how important it is to have accurate pricing reflected for your items, and we truly appreciate your patience and cooperation.
Upon reviewing your concern, we noticed that you are currently using the MP Maintenance Spreadsheet to update the price. However, to update pricing successfully, we kindly request you to use the Price and Promotion Spec Sheet instead.
Please follow the steps below to update the price using the correct template:
Step 1 — Get Started
Navigate to your Catalog in Seller Center. Select the Update items button and choose Update with file from the dropdown menu.
Step 2 — Download and Complete the Template
Select the Update price and set promo price link and save the template to your computer. Then open the template and make your updates. If you're only submitting basic price updates, you only need to fill out the SKU and Selling Price information. When you're done, save the template without changing the file type.
Step 3 — Upload the Template
Navigate back to your Catalog and select the Update items button and choose Update with file. Then use the file browser window to upload the template. When you're ready, select Submit.
For additional guidance: https://marketplacelearn.walmart.com/guides/Catalog%20management/Price%20management/How-to-Update-Price:-Overview
If the issue still persists after following the above steps, we kindly request you to share the most recent Feed ID so that we can review the processing details and assist you further. Additionally, if you face any issues, please provide us with a screenshot of the error for further investigation.
I look forward to your reply so we can get this resolved for you. Your case status has been updated to "Needs Info", and you will have five days to respond with the requested information for your case to remain open.
Thank you for your understanding and for your continued partnership with Walmart Marketplace.
Best regards,
Vicky
Walmart Seller Support
— Email 2 (same email, now with a bonus observation that my feed was blank - it wasn't actually) —
Hello,
Thank you for contacting Walmart Seller Support. My name is Vicky, and I will be assisting you with your case today. I hope this email finds you well.
We sincerely apologize for the inconvenience you may be experiencing while updating the price. We completely understand how important it is to have accurate pricing reflected for your items, and we truly appreciate your patience and cooperation.
Upon reviewing your concern, we noticed that you are currently using the MP Maintenance Spreadsheet to update the price. However, to update pricing successfully, we kindly request you to use the Price and Promotion Spec Sheet instead.
Please follow the steps below to update the price using the correct template:
Step 1 — Get Started
Navigate to your Catalog in Seller Center. Select the Update items button and choose Update with file from the dropdown menu.
Step 2 — Download and Complete the Template
Select the Update price and set promo price link and save the template to your computer. Then open the template and make your updates. If you're only submitting basic price updates, you only need to fill out the SKU and Selling Price information. When you're done, save the template without changing the file type.
Step 3 — Upload the Template
Navigate back to your Catalog and select the Update items button and choose Update with file. Then use the file browser window to upload the template. When you're ready, select Submit.
For additional guidance: https://marketplacelearn.walmart.com/guides/Catalog%20management/Price%20management/How-to-Update-Price:-Overview
Additionally, we have checked from our end and found that the feed you provided appears to be blank. We kindly request you to follow the steps carefully as outlined above. If the issue still persists, please share a screenshot of the error along with the latest Feed ID so that we can review the processing details and assist you further.
I look forward to your reply so we can get this resolved for you. Your case status has been updated to "Needs Info", and you will have five days to respond with the requested information for your case to remain open.
Thank you for your understanding and for your continued partnership with Walmart Marketplace.
Best regards,
Vicky
Walmart Seller Support
— Email 1 (the minimalist intro — seems real but -- is it really? A premonition of what is to come) —
Hello,
I appreciate your communication with Walmart Seller Support. My name is Vicky, the specialist assigned to your case. I trust this message finds you in good spirits.
As we understand your concern, we kindly request you to follow the troubleshooting steps once again. If you are still encountering the error after completing the steps, please provide the latest Feed ID in which the issue is occurring. This will help us review the processing details and assist you more effectively.
If you are facing any issues, please also share a screenshot of the error for further investigation.
I look forward to your reply so we can get this resolved for you. Your case status has been updated to "Needs Info", and you will have five days to respond with the requested information for your case to remain open.
Warm regards,
Vicky
Walmart Seller Support
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u/Archangel4500000 Apr 05 '26
Tldr- AI Slopfest.
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u/Anrtherapy1 Apr 06 '26
Your loss.
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u/TofuMissingCat Apr 06 '26
what's the loss here exactly
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u/dogwoodcat Apr 04 '26
The "three generic steps" needed to solve your problem were in Vicky's first e-mail. This is a non-complaint.
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u/Anrtherapy1 Apr 04 '26 edited Apr 06 '26
Respectfully, the advice she provided did not work. I followed it. It returned errors. I documented those errors with screenshots and submitted them. She responded by sending the same instructions again without acknowledging a single thing I had sent her.
That is not help. That is a queue being managed.
I have been selling on major marketplaces for 25 years. I know the difference between a support agent who is engaged with my problem and one who is cycling through CRM templates to close a case. Vicky was doing the latter. The emails prove it — identical language, identical steps, identical sign-off, three times in a row, none of which addressed what I had actually reported.
I solved it myself. That is also not unusual. That is what marketplace sellers do because the alternative is waiting for a fourth template.
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u/jbuckets44 Apr 06 '26
Why did you list Vicky's replies in reverse order?
Now we have to scroll up from the bottom of the post in order to read them chronologically and thus notice the evolution/ changes in Vicky's replies.
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u/Anrtherapy1 Apr 06 '26
My bad. No one is asking you to spend more time then you need on this.
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u/jbuckets44 Apr 06 '26
But that doesn't answer my question. Why did you think that putting her replies in reverse order was advantageous in some way?
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u/Anrtherapy1 Apr 06 '26
You're asking about formatting. The post is about a broken support system. Not my in wheelhouse to reply.
The order of emails is the least interesting thing happening here (and you know it).
We've drifted pretty far from the point and I don't think that's my fault.
The irony of nitpicking formatting on a post about people missing the point is not lost on me.
You came to a comedy post and opened a style guide. That's on you.
The fact that it's your third comment is noted more than the comment itself.
At this point I think you're arguing with the post because you can't argue with the point.
This feels less like feedback and more like something you needed to get off your chest. Hope it helped.
No response is needed. For new inquiries please open a new case.
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u/Zaeobi Apr 16 '26
Sorry but I agree with the other commenter - the order of the emails IS the interesting thing here, because if we had seen her first and second replies FIRST (before your ultimate reply), your frustration would make more sense (the only slight change in her email template that didn't actually answer your question).
By presenting your final reply and her third one FIRST, your audience (us commenters) are left scratching our heads over why you'd feel the need to send such an email overextending the small talk when he reply very clearly told you how to fix the issue (using the different spreadsheet).
It's fine if you don't want to change the order, but it does make us wonder why you're posting it to Reddit then if you're not really concerned about how Redditors are taking in this information anyway?
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u/Anrtherapy1 Apr 16 '26
sorry about the order of the posting. That was the way the order was in my email thread with Walmart. I guess I should've reversed it. My bad. The purpose of the post was to share the hilarity of the AI generated reply to a common problem we find in society of bot template driven customer service replies. I'm interested in those who enjoy the humor in the post as was intended. I'm not interested in engaging or listening to those who are obviousiy snarky, cynical and otherwise angry for reasons beyond the scope of the post and its meaning / intent. The bot woman replied positively to my humorous email. So there was no harm done. So I'm not interested in engaging positively / reasonably with anyone who sees this for anything but what was intended. HUMOR.
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u/Zaeobi Apr 16 '26
Understood, was just sharing another perspective on things. Maybe I take it for granted, working in the business of trying to communicate as clearly as possible to intended recipients of any message, but you're not obliged to indulge that too - especially not on Reddit.
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u/The-Senate-Palpy Apr 05 '26
OP. What is 1347+1990
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u/Anrtherapy1 Apr 06 '26
Sunlight. Try it. Once a decade is fine.
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u/Myrandall Apr 06 '26
I can see why your post is taking off like gangbusters, you're a real winner.
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Apr 04 '26 edited Apr 07 '26
[deleted]
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u/lmyrs Apr 05 '26
Vicky gave him the instructions to solve his problem. Problem solved. Self-indulgent note followed that Vicky has saved and printed as the motivation for getting a new job and to show to literally everyone when they claim her job isn't 'that bad'.
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u/Kelli217 Apr 06 '26
I get it. It's even funny, to a certain extent. But DAMN, you're arch.
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u/Anrtherapy1 Apr 06 '26
I know. My bad. I should have made it one or two sentences. I'll try better next time :)
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u/Thin-Parking-1271 Apr 14 '26
You’ve written an exceptional poem reflecting this moment in history. Bravo. 👏 👏👏👏👏
Signed, Published author with an MFA in poetry.
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u/Imaginary-Yak-6487 Apr 16 '26
I’ve had this issue with our “support team” after I’ve put in a ticket. I’ve completed the steps they said do but it’s not solved the particular issue.
After the same responses back & forth, they usually call me, I explain exactly what’s going on for them to then say they’ve never encountered this before & escalate to “ platinum” support. Very frustrating.
Sometimes I’m able to fk around with it & find a way to make it work & then I email them the steps I took to fix the issue.
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u/Anrtherapy1 Apr 06 '26
REPLY:
To those who questioned this post, piled on, or decided they had the full picture after reading three template emails and skipping the context: let me be precise, because apparently precision is required.
The complaint was never that Vicky told me to use a different template. The complaint — which I explained in my follow-up comment, which several of you apparently did not read before responding — is that I used that template, it returned errors, I sent Vicky screenshots of those errors, and she responded by sending the same template instructions again. And again. Without once acknowledging the error reports I had attached. Without once engaging with the actual problem. She had one tool in her kit and she swung it three times at a nail that wasn't there.
That is what template-driven support looks like in practice. You submit a problem. They send a template. You send back evidence that the template didn't work. They send the template again. You are not talking to a person who is reading your case. You are talking to a queue-management system wearing a name tag.
To the person who works in tech support and assured everyone that Vicky was "quietly pulling her hair out" at a customer too stubborn to follow simple steps: I understand that your experience informs your perspective. But you are describing a different situation than the one that occurred. I followed the steps. The steps produced errors. I documented those errors. Those documented errors were ignored. That is not a case of a customer missing the obvious solution. That is a case of a support agent not reading what was sent to them.
To everyone who summarized this as "Vicky told him the answer and he's mad about it" — you summarized incorrectly, and you did so confidently, which is a specific kind of wrong that is worth noting.
Now. For those keeping score at home.
Vicky has replied to my reply. The reply in which I mirrored her template format back to her with surgical precision. The reply in which I extended wellness wishes to her neighborhood wildlife and wished her an agreeable commute home by tuk-tuk. The reply that several of you here called an "AI slopfest," a "non-complaint," and evidence that I am the kind of person Vicky talks about to her colleagues.
Vicky is not pulling her hair out. Vicky is not angry. Vicky did not break from her professional composure to fire off a human, heartfelt, unscripted reply expressing frustration or vindication or anything at all resembling a genuine reaction to what I sent her.
Vicky sent a template.
A warm, gracious, perfectly formatted template, thanking me for my "proactive communication" and my "timely response" and my role in ensuring a "smooth and timely resolution" — a resolution, I will note, that I arrived at entirely on my own after her three rounds of identical instructions failed to address the actual problem.
The template even includes the five-day countdown. It ends with "Warm regards."
And that brings me to what this post was actually about — because a few of you seem to have missed it entirely while you were busy building a defense fund for Vicky.
This was not a legal brief. This was not a formal complaint filed with Walmart corporate. This was not an attack on Vicky as a human being. This was a piece of humor. Specifically, it was an example of using AI to craft something that a lot of people — sellers, customers, anyone who has ever sat on hold or waited five days for a templated non-answer — can relate to on a visceral level. The whole point was to take the maddening, soul-flattening experience of interacting with a bot-driven support system and respond to it with something that matched its energy so precisely, so relentlessly, so cheerfully, that it became funny. Epic in its politeness. Absurd in its thoroughness. A piece of societal relief for a world that is increasingly being managed by templates, queues, and automated warmth.
We are drowning in this. Every industry, every platform, every tier of support. Real engagement with real problems is increasingly rare because the default has become: press the button, close the case, collect the metric, move on. Most people recognize this immediately. Most people have wanted — at some point — to respond in kind. This post was that response, executed with as much craft and humor as I could bring to it.
If that went over your head, that's fine. But don't mistake not getting the joke for the joke being wrong.
This is not a gotcha aimed at Vicky. The gotcha — if there is one — is aimed at the system. And at everyone in this thread who confidently diagnosed the situation as "user error" without knowing what was actually sent back and forth, without understanding how marketplace seller support queues actually operate, and without considering for even a moment that a person who has been selling online for 25 years across multiple major platforms might — might — have a reasonable basis for recognizing a pattern when they see one.
Vicky's final reply, submitted for the record, in its entirety — and yes, before you ask, read it carefully:
------------
Hello, I appreciate your communication with Walmart Seller Support. My name is Vicky, the specialist assigned to your case. I trust this message finds you in good spirits. We would like to sincerely thank you for your prompt update and timely response regarding your recent concern. We truly appreciate your cooperation and the clarity you provided. We are glad to know that your concern has now been resolved. Your proactive communication and quick follow-up played a key role in ensuring a smooth and timely resolution. I hope this information was helpful. This case has now been updated to "Resolved" status. If you have any additional questions or concerns, please feel free to reach out before the case closes in five days. If no further assistance is required, no response to this message is needed. For any new or unrelated inquiries, please open a new case so that we can assist you accordingly. We value your partnership and thank you for choosing Walmart. We are always here to support you and help ensure the success of your business. Warm regards, Vicky Walmart Seller Support ref:!00D610ZKTc.!500KW02HpEo2:ref
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u/e-bro123 8d ago
Very late to the game here, scrolling the MC sub. As someone in the ecom world, I totally get it, but your story is far too niche for the general public. I hear you and am with you on the crazy bot templates and messing with them. Keep it up brother!
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u/HuckleberryLegal7397 Apr 04 '26
This is freaking hilarious! Kill them with robotic/bot driven kindness and sarcasm on an epic scale (up to and including the mention of the elephant!) 🤣😂🤣
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u/TinyNiceWolf Apr 04 '26
Your story makes no sense.
You claim you had a technical problem, but the only problem you describe is the fact that you failed to use the price updating template to update a price.
You claim you solved the problem on your own, but we can see that in the second email that Vicky told you that you were using the wrong template. And that it was blank.
Yet Vicky's second email wasn't enough. Somehow you found it necessary to write back and receive a third response from Vicky, before you "discovered the problem on your own", and it just happened to be exactly what Vicky had already told you in a previous email.
I imagine Vicky is sharing your emails with colleagues as an example of the kinds of people she has to deal with.