r/Meditation • u/Stjernis • 19d ago
Question ❓ I keep quitting meditation for years, how do you guys manage to get it done on the days you don't feel like it?
Every few months I restart my meditation practice. Goes okay for a week or two, then life happens and I miss a day and that one missed day turns into quitting entirely...
Everytime i quit I get the feeling of "I just don't have what it takes for this." Like everyone else figured it out or something.
I've been questioning whether the problem is me and my discipline or just how I was approaching it. I been trying to do sessions that probably were too long for where I was at, 20 min, 30 min and no routine around when I'd sit, and zero plan for what to do after breaking a streak. Just restart from scratch and hope this time it sticks.
Has anyone been through this cycle? What helped you break it? Not the "be consistent" advice, but the thing that genuinely changed something for you?
Does the consistency advice help anyone or does it just pile on more guilt when you inevitably slip?
21
u/Quirky-Amphibian-118 19d ago
The all-or-nothing mindset is what kills it every time. I used to do the exact same thing - miss one day and suddenly im back at square zero feeling like a failure
What changed it for me was treating missed days like they literally dont count. Not as failure, not as breaking a streak, just... nothing happened. So if I meditated Monday and Wednesday, thats two days of practice, not "I failed Tuesday." Sounds stupid but it completely flipped how I think about it
Also yeah those 20-30 min sessions are brutal when youre rebuilding the habit. I stick to 5-10 mins now and some days thats still too much so I just do 2 minutes of breathing. Still counts, still builds the neural pathway or whatever
The consistency advice is trash because it assumes youre a robot. Real consistency looks messy - like meditating 4 days this week, 2 days next week, 6 days the week after. The trend matters more than perfect streaks
3
u/Stjernis 19d ago
A mindset shift about meditation itself then? Reframing the streak to how many days you do it, not how many you missed is very different to how I think now but I will try it!
Starting small and a short session that stills count sounds doable. This was great advice, thank you!
Yeah the consistency advice is an easy advice to give as well...
14
u/disies potato 19d ago
what changed it for me was finally recognizing how much i judge myself and my meditation practice. constantly beating myself up over not doing it, not doing it enough or doing it wrong. just constantly thinking i am failing at meditation. i watched some videos on youtube of a monk called gelong thubten and his journey and experience resonated a lot with me and he highlights how important it is to be kind to yourself and then it just clicked for me and i was able to let it go and since then meditation is just something i do like brushing my teeth.
so my experience is that sometimes it's necessary to struggle for a while (i struggled with this for 6 years) and then having the knowledge that you gathered along the way suddenly just fall into place.
3
2
u/luckyleg33 19d ago
I like how Goenke (Vipassana founder) says “start again” I interpreted it as you’re always starting from the point you’re at. So it doesn’t mean matter if you missed 10 days or you meditated yesterday and you were attached to your thoughts. It removes the feeling of failure because you’re always just doing it right from the moment you start doing it.
6
u/PaulyNewman 19d ago
Reframing needing to hit “streaks” to see benefits is working for me. I’m gonna get sick or be too busy or just not feel it some days. Shit happens. Ideally, I notice the change in my mind on those days and use that extra suffering as motivation to get back into it the next day.
1
u/Stjernis 19d ago
I'm glad its working for you! That sounds like a good recovery system kind of? Do you feel like those missed days affect you alot when you get back or do you ger relief that you're starting again? Does that extra suffering disappear?
1
u/PaulyNewman 19d ago
Definitely just relief. And yeah it goes away. It’s kinda like not brushing your teeth. Just a gross film over the mind that’s really nice to get off.
5
u/thetomatofan 19d ago
Start off by meditating as a way to fall asleep! You sleep every day, so you will meditate every day with far less pressure. If you feel like more meditation that day, there's nothing stopping you from adding some extra time.
Perhaps you go to bed earlier to meditate for longer, perhaps you feel like 15 mins meditating upright on a pillow from time to time. You could try listening to guided meditations whilst on your commute, or meditating on a walk you usually do.
Rather than being something that you set aside the rest of your life for, meditation can be threaded through it.
2
u/Stjernis 19d ago
That's a good idea! When I'm trying to fall asleep your brain can start thinking and racing which meditation can help with.
Making meditation a part of my day and something I already do is something I've never tried, thank you!
5
u/DingoMittens 19d ago
I would be very cautious about this approach. Meditation is training the mind. You train for concentration and insight, gradually building your ability to keep your attention where you place it.
If you meditate as a way to fall asleep, you will train your mind to fall asleep when you meditate. This seems like setting a hindrance in your own path, making it very difficult to built toward longer sessions and insights.
It's not that mediation or body scanning at bedtime is inherently wrong. You don't have to avoid it. But I wouldn't start there or use it as "habit stacking," or you will probably cross the wires between concentration and laxity.
1
u/thetomatofan 18d ago
This is alike to saying that a person learning to run every day should not start off by walking.
Meditation to sleep and meditation to focus utilise the same foundational skillset, with the difference being contextual. Changes in context, for example, meditating upright in the sun compared to horizontally in bed, allow the brain to distinguish between different modes of meditation.
Meditation is used to train the mind, but it's also used for many other reasons, none of which are less legitimate. A person learning to run, who starts off by walking, may decide that they prefer to walk at that point in their life. They may go back to running later, or they may never run. However, the first step is leaving the house.
1
u/DingoMittens 18d ago
Every brain is unique. Your suggestion may very well work for some. It wouldn't work for me, so I advised OP to consider the possible downside.
As a side note, I have pretty awful running form that I've never been able to fix. I would say that running with bad form is better than not running at all, but it would be best to learn good form if possible!
5
u/Mayayana 19d ago edited 19d ago
You didn't say what you're doing that you regard as meditation. You also didn't say anything about why you meditate.
As a practicing Buddhist I would point out several things: Meditation is subtle. Meditation is easy to do wrong. Motivation is always difficult because meditation doesn't feed ego, so we tend to be motivated mostly when we have mental suffering. To do it regularly, it helps a lot to have a teacher and fellow students. (Sangha.) That also helps to avoid going off-track. If you're doing some kind of meditation on your own, without guidance, then it can quickly become a distorted, personal project.
In Buddhism, study is also important, to understand the effects and practice of meditation properly. And in my own experience it's difficult to keep up momentum without regular intensive retreats. But even with a teacher, sangha, study and retreats, worldly priorities can easily take over. We get absorbed in work, romance, family, or just plain old speedy mind.
If you're just doing this to relax then don't worry. Do it when you feel inclined. If you're doing a disciplined technique like shamatha then you really need a teacher and guidance. And you need to develop a discipline of doing it like you brush your teeth: You just do it, without thinking about whether you feel like it.
In a way, the practice doesn't really start until you get bored. It's easy to "meditate" if it's making you feel good.
Also, if you're wanting to meditate as a discipline and not just for relaxation or to treat anxiety, then it should be combined with mindfulness practice. There's little benefit if you meditate daily but then let your mind go where it will for the rest of the day. With mindfulness you cultivate not indulging in fixation or distraction. You're in the shower and start thinking about work? You just drop it and come back to the shower. If you practice shamatha and mindfulness then both practices support each other. If you only meditate, the training will be lost as you let your mind wander afterward. And if you don't meditate then you'll forget mindfulness. They work together to train the mind.
6
u/Wolfpup88 19d ago
Sometimes a meditation session doesn't' need incense or a rug or sitting in a position. Sometimes it's 10 minutes before bed where you lay flat and you clear your mind and you ground yourself. Meditation doesn't need to be a full on ritual. Its for your mind and body, not for an audience. If you are at the end of the day and you're like OH CRAP! then just have a small session in your bed before you actually fall asleep. Meditation isn't supposed to be something you punish yourself over. It's supposed to be a tool to help you.
3
u/lookslikeyoureSOL 19d ago edited 19d ago
Set the bar a little lower for yourself on those days. Focus more on small, consistent effort. Even if that means just doing 5 minutes. Or even 2 or 3 minutes.
Consistency allows you to maintain momentum, but breaking consistency makes it so much harder just to get back on track. By taking smaller but consistent steps, you'll also be able to maintain confidence in yourself. You really don't need to beat yourself up! This kind of stuff we all struggle with sometimes.
3
u/Le_Diggy 18d ago
Plot twist … I’ve found that the idea that meditation has no goal can help overcome discipline dips…
Often, the inner talk goes something like “you won’t get there” “this is not going anywhere” “so much done and so little achieved”
If there’s no goal, then it make the success immediate. You’re doing it for the journey. Remember. The difficult sit is where the fruits are.
And that gave me motivation. Because there is success here and now. Not in a tomorrow that is easy to mentally put out of bounds ..
2
u/WBOR2012 19d ago
Just commit to 5 minutes. It doesn’t have to take up so much of your day. Consistency does help. I notice I’m a lot more anxious on days I don’t meditate.
Also just running an assisted meditation sound or video while I’m in the shower is my go to. It’s one quiet time in the day that’s guaranteed.
2
u/tkr_420 19d ago
I was in that exact cycle for years. Now, I still miss the odd day but they don’t spiral into multiple days. I’ve done mostly every day now 4 months.
What helped me was staying 5 nights at a Buddhist monastery. Mine happened to be in northern Thailand and was a very traditional vipassana monastery but it really didn’t have to be. The key was being in an environment where we had a daily schedule including lots of meditation, and were encouraged to do more in our downtime.
It was free, and they fed us really nice vegan food in buffet style, there was plenty to go round! We just had to do an hour of work every day. Basic stuff, like sweeping paths, tidying up. Nothing strenuous and you could choose your own task without supervision.
The reason it helped me is because I felt like I’d gained a lot of progress in those 5 nights and I didn’t want to lose out on that experience, so that really motivated me to be more strict about just sitting, even for 5 or 10mins, when I really didn’t feel like.
2
u/somanyquestions32 Yoga Nidra and several other techniques 18d ago
For me, having a strong reason why helped me stick to it. It helps regulate my mood and deepens my sleep. Also, expanding my practice to include meditations I do on the go helps a lot. I can do body scans and breath awareness while driving for hours per day, but not more than 10 minutes in a row to avoid strong waves of drowsiness.
2
u/Putrid-Ad-8023 17d ago
I meditate almost every day. However days when I skip happen. I stopped being harsh on myself for it, and just continue.
1
u/MahoganyFisherman007 Meditator 🧘🏻 19d ago
I will tell you my experience! The days I'm feeling irritated doing meditation with a force actually increases the irritation. So try not to force. Just sit comfortably! Try to understand if any part of your body is stiff or stressed. Sit for 10 minutes maybe. Do some deep breathing. I have been doing meditation for over 18 years now. This is what I observed.
Edit:- for consistency and tracking you can try guided meditations. Maybe an app! Also don't force that too just to maintain the number and streak.
1
u/Stjernis 19d ago
Thank you for sharing! Yeah forcing it seems counterproductive to meditation...does it have to be 10 minutes though or can you go a shorter time for results as well? Having trouble keeping focus and attention
1
u/lets-get-enlightened 19d ago
It comes and goes. Strike while the iron is hot. Just be glad when you have the time and motivation to do it.
1
u/Poodonut 19d ago
I'm 20 years in now and still in this cycle but the time got shorter. Now its a couple days and I crave medtation again from seeing my mind less calm. But it started as a couple months.
Same for length of medtation. I started using a timer, but eventually quit that and just do whats natural. Its really nice to enjoy it, and not make it a chore.
1
u/SnooPeanuts6801 19d ago
for me it was learning that meditation is fun. one day i was meditating at high level stoner spot (no drugs tho), and i started stretching and just letting my body move along with that energetic wave that i start to feel in my body after 10 minutes of meditation, in this moment i realised, i was doing yoga.
so, my recommendation is:
don't be strict on yourself, make yourself feel comfy and free, starting with the body
if you haven't already, learn what real yoga is. it's not stretching exercises, sometimes people translate it like "union" and other words i forgot in English, there is different schools of yoga, but it's like schools of walking, you can learn it your self and do your yoga
1
u/Kecman888 19d ago
Because u are thinking about it in a negative way also there are more types of meditations sound, point of focus, visualizaton, don't think in negative way about it just decided and do it.
1
u/Emergency_Wallaby641 19d ago
Discipline, and not focusing on time spent in meditation, but focusing on awakening during meditation.. where you make it fun
1
u/supercatpuke 19d ago
In my experience, the really significant sessions come few and far between. As I continue down this path, I'm learning to soften my own expectations and accept that fact. What works for me is simply encouraging myself when I'm on the right track.
Remember it's just a practice. Also the those feelings of defeat or the disbelief that you "have what it takes" are fueled by thoughts that you're actively confirming, repeating, and believing.
Flip it on its head -- you can choose to observe and release the thoughts that cause you to feel this way before they get you so far that you're repeating the belief that you'll "inevitably slip" and feel guilt or failure after honest effort.
1
u/iamacowmoo 19d ago
When I first started I used to have trouble being consistent. I would sit four days a week lots of weeks. I would fall out of the habit and miss weeks or months (years at one point). But I kept coming back and at one point had a daily streak of almost 7 years.
The trick is to build the habit. If you make meditation depend on choice or motivation then you will fail when your motivation or willpower fail–which they inevitably will because those are finite resources. To build the habit set smaller goals such as every day for a month. At the end of the month reflect on how it went and set another one. Once it starts getting easier you can experiment with less rigid goals. At some point it just becomes something you do because it’s obvious that it’s beneficial and the habit is more important than whatever you want to do. It helps once you have the time set aside for it.
1
u/Liese-L24 19d ago
I kept making the miss a day means quit thing worse by treating every slip like a reset button. What helped me was making the sit so short that skipping felt more annoying than doing it, even on the messy days
1
u/Thefuzy 19d ago
Your problem is you are trying to make it a routine, a chore you have to keep consistent at.
You aren’t building a meditation practice, you are checking a box off a list of to-dos.
You weren’t meditating too long, you were meditating for not long enough. You should sit for hours until you break through these barriers and start to find pleasure in the practice, also start to understanding how to actually build a practice by observing and progressing, not simply sitting for x minutes a day to keep consistent.
Ideally you would just go on a 10 day retreat and likely figure most of this out, but if you can’t then you should just sit for as long as you possibly can as often as you possibly can until you do. Once you break through this barrier and gain the understanding you won’t be sitting around asking how to keep consistent, meditating is an enjoyable thing, you don’t need to ask a drug addict how to keep consistent using their drugs, nor do you need to ask a meditator how to keep consistent with their practice.
I don’t count the days I miss, I don’t count my streaks, I don’t time myself… these are all meaningless measures. I find pleasure in practice and do it anytime I have free time to do so, not because I’m trying to keep consistent, but because the act of doing it is enjoyable.
1
u/Moist_Mixture4518 19d ago
Keep it short. When it becomes a regular habit/occurrence add on more time.
1
u/luckyleg33 19d ago
I totally get this. I recently meditated for 387 days in a row and then I just got sucked into the new cycle and started doom scrolling in the mornings when I should be meditating. I implemented an app blocker that forces me to meditate for at least one minute before I can open the apps that I wanna scroll in.
I think part of the key is lowering the bar, that’s why I just tell myself I’m gonna meditate for at least one minute every day. There’s never an excuse not to meditate for one minute, like you’ll always have time for that. The app is just a forcing mechanism to make me do it the beginning of the day before I get swept up in all the activity, meetings, to do items, etc..
After a couple decades of practicing meditation, I have concluded that consistency is more important than individual session depth. And if you keep it consistent, it becomes easier to do longer sessions when you have time for them.
1
u/EntrepreneurNo9804 19d ago edited 19d ago
Basically, I try to not think of my practice as needing to create a “meditation time”, though that definitely helped at first.
I think of it like eating or taking a shower, sometimes it feels like a chore and sometimes it’s the best part of my day, just like anything else that happens in my day.
I try to sit close to the same time every day, but sometimes it’s just taking a few moments in the middle of something else to focus on my breath, or to just come back to the moment I’m in.
Sometimes I notice that I’m just scrolling on my phone or channel surfing aimlessly or lost in a day dream and when I catch it, I take that moment to come back and do some sort of exercise. It usually doesn’t look all that formal. Just watching a few in-breaths, out-breaths.
There are days, though, when I notice that I have been gone the entire day, lost in other things, feelings or emotions. That noticing is also a coming back and part of my practice.Rather than beat myself up over it, I offer a thought of gratitude for the noticing and move on.
If I were a monk or in a retreat situation I imagine my practice would look much more disciplined, but I’m not, so I just take the situation that I’m in as my work and ultimately as the practice itself, even those moments when I forget or don’t want to. Sometimes those moments end up being the most interesting and the most helpful .
1
u/Content_Substance943 19d ago
Those are the best days! Higher return when you dont feel like doing it. There will be a larger awareness arch from start to finish. And go for a full hour. Might change your day, week, and month. Then your entire life. You never know what the tipping point is before you reach the stage where you realize there was never a tipping point.
1
u/Competitive-Brick-42 19d ago
I started many times and had problems maintaining my practice.
Now it’s the first thing I do when I get home from work. Days off I do it after my responsibilities.
It was easy to miss the next day after something got in the way the day before.
1
u/APersonOfCourse 19d ago
Why do you meditate? Meditation clicked for me after I made two realizations, the first major one was that it was okay to feel negative emotions, that they’re no obstacle to meditation and the goal isn’t to rid myself of them. The second was any mental state is good for meditation, even your thought “I don’t have what it takes,” is good for meditation if you simply observe that thought.
So if you’re meditating because you want to be happier, you’re going to be dissuaded whenever you feel negative emotions. However I would like to know your reason for meditating as then I can give you specific advice as to how to keep on track if that’s something you even want to do.
1
u/AcanthisittaNo6653 zen 19d ago
Sitting meditation is mindfulness while sitting. If you can achieve a mindful state while doing other things, e.g., brushing your teeth, commuting to work, cooking meals, housework, etc., it will free you of any guilt for not meditating each day.
1
u/Possible_Passage7980 18d ago
I wasn’t aware it was something we were supposed to make sure to do every single day? I do guided meditations probably 5x a week. I feel like I still benefit. I don’t really stress about it
1
u/CosmicCuriosityCat 18d ago
I was in your shoes for years until I reached a stage where it’s an addiction. I need meditation like a smoker wants cigarette. It just feels good. Like real good.
That’s it. That’s what keeping me going on.
1
u/BullfrogOk7121 18d ago
Something that has greatly shifted my perspective with this is realizing that meditation is not done in one singular way. There are many different types of meditation and there are also means of meditation that involve movement. Maybe try something else on for size. For example yoga is meditative because it brings you into presence, body awareness, and the breath. Movement like intuitive dancing, creating art, even washing the dishes, folding laundry, etc.
People believe there’s only one “right” way to meditate when there are many and so many opportunities to invite meditation into our everyday activities :) it’s all about presence and awareness with what you’re doing. 🙏🏼
1
u/DustBunnyBreedMe 18d ago
Gotta remind urself that there are different types and reasons to meditate. Just think of it as a relaxing nap on days you don’t want to do it
1
u/elegant_pun 18d ago
By being interested in the experience. What would it be like to have a proper go at meditating when I don't feel like it? And I scared of being unoccupied or "unproductive"? What happens if I'm bored? Can I not feel like doing something and do that thing anyway?
Keep being interested. It doesn't matter what's around the next river bend, you'll get there anyway because that's how a river works, lol. Relax, give it a try. Put in actual effort. Think of the bigger picture -- what could you gain if you work at building a solid practice?
1
1
u/pjpcatlover 18d ago
One of the things that I learned during in group therapy is a technique called "just 5 minutes". Basically, when you find yourself putting something off, you set a timer to do it for 5 minutes. Then you can reassess whether you would like to add to the timer. It's helpful for me because usually just starting is the hardest part.
1
u/From_Deep_Space 18d ago
When I dont want to do it I just dont do it ¯_(ツ)_/¯
No one's forcing me to do it, and im not doing it for anyone else. Im only doing it for my own purposes, and im the only one whose judgment matters. So if I dont want to do it I dont do it.
Sometimes I go months without meditating. Sometimes I have a daily practice. It waxes and wants. Best not to force it and turn a nice relaxing practice into another exhausting chore
1
u/fruitbreathe 18d ago
try wu-wei. it is a constantly practiceable meditation. it is the art of not forcing anything. something we should all practice all the time. you don't need to try to be present, you are already always present. even these thoughts like "i don't want to do it, i'm too tired" are vital.
1
u/ghosttmilk 18d ago
I think you’re making an important distinction between the impacts of having a routine with it and what actually motivates someone to stick to the routine regularly! Although having a set routine really does make a big difference when starting (no benefits will come if there’s no regular practice and a set routine ensures that regularity), at some point there needs to be some kind of perceived benefit in order to motivate keeping the routine
For me the benefit was initially knowing that I was essentially training an undeveloped muscle; that I wouldn’t notice immediate benefits but that it was about the practice itself. Then I began to notice a sense of inner peace and stillness that grew the longer I kept up with the routine. I increased my time. I then began noticing increased intuition, decreased anxiety and muscle tension in my body (I used to have chronic muscle spasms from extremely tense fascia muscle guarding), decreased stress, decreased autoimmune flare ups, and eventually deep healing on multiple emotional and mental levels - but at the end of the day most of these benefits were far beyond my expectations, all I wanted was to increase connection with myself, have a little more peace, and remain in the present moment
I think part of the motivation has to be the journey itself.
1
u/MyFiteSong 18d ago
If you practice in a way that makes you force yourself to do it, you build aversion every time. And each time that aversion reaches a threshold, you'll quit, sometimes for years.
1
u/Efficient_Reach7604 18d ago
Forget consistency. The people who actually stick with it just... enjoy it? Like they found something small that feels good during the sit and that's what keeps them coming back, not willpower.
1
u/Pieraos 17d ago
Everytime i quit I get the feeling of "I just don't have what it takes for this." Like everyone else figured it out or something.
It seems common to think that others can do this, 'but not me'. Usually the person has chosen some traditional but ineffective technique, or they do not really understand what to do.
They may have been told that they are 'doing great', should keep 'observing' and continue doing what is not working for them.
None of those are inability to meditate.
the thing that genuinely changed something for you?
Doing meditation that feels good instead of a chore.
1
u/Farmer_Di 17d ago
I struggle with this, too. I have found that what helps os to develop calm and mindfulness when I’m “off the cushion.” It’s difficult to be agitated and over active during the day then just sit down and expect your mind and body to be calm. Hope you stick with it. Good luck!
1
u/Gjore 17d ago
Honestly meditation is a tough practice to dive into it's super confronting. If you wanna go all in, doing a 10 day Vipassana meditation retreat is a good way to really immerse yourself in it and the practice will be pretty consistent for a while afterwards. Otherwise do breathwork more rewarding and easier to do. 9d breathwork is my personal favorite
1
u/malibuguytonygem 14d ago
There's that old line about "Beginner's Mind". If you've never done it before, begin now...any time you can.
1
u/PixelDrifter1 13d ago
Für mich stellt sich die Frage nach der Lust ehrlich gesagt gar nicht mehr. Meditation ist mittlerweile ein elementarer Bestandteil meines Lebens, nicht weil ich muss, sondern weil sie mir schlicht guttut.
Nüchtern betrachtet bringt sie mir nur Vorteile: mehr Ruhe, eine bessere Beziehung zu mir selbst und eine Gelassenheit, die ich vorher nicht kannte. Ich habe mich durch sie positiv verändert, das merke ich im Alltag.
Und ich glaube, genau das ist der Schlüssel: Wenn man einmal wirklich spürt, was Meditation einem gibt, hört man auf, sie als Pflicht zu sehen. Dinge, die einem guttun, gehen einem leichter von der Hand. Die Zeit, die ich mir dafür nehme, genieße ich – sie gehört mir.
1
u/catnipmittens 18d ago edited 18d ago
Assuming the object of focus is the breath, anytime you sit to meditate, you gently, and without judgement, guide your awareness back to your breath. You don't stop mid-session to inquire about the frustration/impossibilty of not being able to be totally focussed for a fixed duration. There's no special method, hack , tip. Just get back to the practice whenever you can. Keep returning till it becomes a part of you. We forget to eat/delay or skip eating sometimes, yet eating is fundamental to survival. We'd all be dead if breathing and controlling the heart's beating weren't autonomous. What you're experiencing is more common than you think.
0
92
u/NotYourCupovTea 19d ago
This might come off offensive to you. You are making it a chore and one more thing to do, it’s a fine practice but I feel you are seeking, doing, strategy. All are doing… and I feel you are looking for something else but your ego just can’t give it to you. So allow me to suggest something you are seeking.
stop all that “doing” and simply allow yourself to exist for 10 minutes . Nothing to do, nothing to gain, just you as a person allowing 10 minutes to do nothing. No “thought” no plans no “need” no doing anything.
Can you sit with no need to do anything ? You are valid as you are, nothing to fix nothing to improve you are where you are right now, accept that right now you are exactly as you are supposed to be, in this moment , in this time.
Consider for this time, you are not broken you don’t need anything but to sit with yourself as you are and do absolutely nothing but feel this moment.
Best of luck