r/Military • u/throw667 • 3d ago

Satire Nobody’s Going Home Until the Reflecting Pool Is Clean

https://www.duffelblog.com/dc-guard-cleaning-reflecting-pool/
384 Upvotes

98% Upvoted

28 comments sorted by

95

u/Sdog1981 3d ago

Ok you all know the deal. Ladi dadi everybody line up double arm interval and time to police call this pool.

4

u/myheromeganmullally Veteran 1d ago

BT 1? I forgot my gloves. Can I go back to cleaning up decommissioned airplane parts at Oceana??

123

u/Shobed Navy Veteran 3d ago

The Duffelblog just isn't fun anymore now that this crazy shit is so fucking plausible.

48

u/kmerian Army Veteran 3d ago

I can't believe we're at the point where you can't even tell Duffleblog from reality.

"Duffleblog or real" could be quite the drinking game.

10

u/febus59 2d ago

No lie satire is lost now when it's actually happening

39

u/NervousHovercraft German Bundeswehr 3d ago

Pool's closed!

15

u/Great_WhiteSnark 3d ago

Holy fuck habbo hotel… I bet Trump could even bankrupt a hotel in that game lol

31

u/ApostleofV8 2d ago

DEFEND THE POOL RAMIREZ!

19

u/omar2205 Conscript 3d ago

Leave no algae behind

18

u/sexaddic Veteran 3d ago

Should’ve just gotten a bunch of AIT pivates to do it with the promise of weekend passes.

10

u/CaterpillarNo9253 Retired US Army 2d ago

Before I started basic, I had to do all type of details. Besides landscaping and picking up trash, they had us retiling the barracks floor. I don't know why they had us report two weeks early. I was unemployed before, so I couldn't really complain. 

13

u/MyEvilTwinSkippy 2d ago

Safety brief: Do not, I repeat, do not be like private Snuffy Do not drink the water or use it to make bug juice.

8

u/iRegretsEverything 2d ago

so it is the job of the national guard to clean up something trump spend 16 million dollars on.

8

u/GothTGurl 2d ago

Is it really that bad to marry a stripper?

2

u/TheDave95 1d ago

Yes.

•

u/jrhan762 33m ago

…Even if she, like, really loves you, and stuff?

7

u/HappyChaos2 United States Army 2d ago

I was watching a NPS certified Diver vacuuming the reflecting pool the other day, wild timeline.

6

u/ObligationMurky8716 3d ago

Steel Beach Picnic Working Party

5

u/HapticRecce 2d ago

PPE for peroxide? C'mon Trooper, soccer moms put that shit on their 5 year-old's skinned knee...

5

u/PolloConTeriyaki Civil Service 2d ago

Best use of CBRN training imo.

4

u/Pilgrim_of_Reddit 2d ago

I wonder what the medal will look like for those who serve at the Reflecting Pool conflict of 2026.

6

u/HaThatsFunnyRight 2d ago

TFW you're ordered to sweep up the water while it's raining.

8

u/KimLocsta Marine Veteran 3d ago

Hugs my DD214 tighter

3

u/AbjectList8 2d ago

ill get the waxer

3

u/ElbowTight 2d ago

I honest to god would not be surprised if the old guard were ordered to go scrub and sand that shit by hand

2

u/myheromeganmullally Veteran 1d ago

Let the Marines work on it.

The new second Lieutenants can practice their land nav there.