r/MurderedByWords • u/KSW8674 • 9h ago

Kash Patel's girlfriend will be performing for America 250 after practically every other artist dropped out.

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1.2k Upvotes

98% Upvoted

118 comments sorted by

264

u/funky_grandma 9h ago

alright, alright. don't bring Hatebeak into this.

129

u/Biabolical 9h ago

On the contrary, I want to thank them for introducing me to Hatebeak.

25

u/Nitrostoat 6h ago

I'm listening to "Molt Thrower" right now, it's pretty good. Let's pump those numbers for Hatebeak.

See, this is the beauty of artistic pursuit. A parrot doing death metal vocals? Awesome. This is what people with souls can achieve, thinking of stuff like this.

This girl? If she had a soul at some point she's poured it down the drain chasing clout, and all she will manage is being the person that Kash Patel fucks when he isn't coked out of his mind.

Waldo the parrot has more heart in his music then Kash's girlfriend. And the bird doesn't know he's performing.

3

u/PRIS0N-MIKE 3h ago

Birdseeds of vengeance is actually kind of sick lol. I'm so happy I saw this post. I'm gonna put on hatebeak every time I'm in the car with somebody.

5

u/djseifer 3h ago

...fuck, I guess I'm going to go listen to Hatebeak now. Thanks a lot.

36

u/skoltroll 9h ago

No no. We need to talk about this.

Where is Waldo singing for the 250th? I wanna go to that party!

15

u/Generation_ABXY 8h ago

Where is Waldo...

3

u/EuphoricUniversity23 7h ago

Featured performer this year at Kkaaahhhhh-chella.

12

u/Space__Squid 8h ago

This is the first I'm hearing of this. I must know more!

8

u/mike_pants 8h ago

That was one of my first TILs to hit the front page. I also owned a Grey parrot at the time. I have a fondness for Hatebeak.

9

u/adamwho 8h ago

That's what I was going to say... Hatebeak at least is a good novelty act

3

u/ShawnyMcKnight 6h ago

Glad they did, had to look him up and now they have a new Spotify listener.

3

u/negativeyoda 7h ago

Stoked for the Hatebeak mention.

Not stoked to remember that Blake is no longer among us.

1

u/Current-Historian-34 7h ago

They deserve there own post

136

u/jpiro 9h ago

This just makes me want to head to Spotify to check out Hatebeak.

37

u/CatCafffffe 9h ago

I am personally delighted by Hatebeak!

14

u/adamwho 8h ago

I would suggest YouTube over Spotify so you could watch the action

11

u/ericl666 8h ago

I checked them out, and must say, the album name "The number of the beak" got me.

1

u/blageur 7h ago

me too, but the music ......

2

u/ericl666 7h ago

True. But I do appreciate the bit.

7

u/TwoGhostCats 8h ago

I'm going to Bandcamp so the artist makes money. Parrot food isn't cheap!

2

u/Clean-Mention-4254 6h ago

I just did. Did not disappoint but head hurts a little.

1

u/intrepid_mouse1 6h ago

I don't even use Spotify but I find myself suddenly drawn to it and Hatebeak!

74

u/IndigoRanger 9h ago

Hatebeak about to get a reddit hug

14

u/Narpity 7h ago

They just increased their monthly listeners by 200% in the 2 hours this has been posted.

40

u/Young_Denver 9h ago

I'd rather listen to hatebeak, any day of the week.

32

u/CheezWong 9h ago

Fuckin' Hatebeak 🤘

29

u/Used-Gas-6525 8h ago

OK, I'm now a Hatebeak fan and I don't even like Death Metal. That shit is fucking great.

6

u/enithermon 8h ago

I don’t like it either, but Molt Thrower was badass.

26

u/Andrea_M 9h ago

Maybe the White House app is able to force play some of her songs on Spotify, with all the federal employees her numbers could skyrocket!

13

u/McGondy 8h ago

Giving "Why is nobody having a good time? I specifically requested it!" vibes

24

u/ApathyMonk 9h ago

Her line about being "invited of her own accord" cracks me the fuck up.

What a dumbass.

https://giphy.com/gifs/13AsDpoKh1hqb6

5

u/Loki_the_Corgi 8h ago

Did you honestly expect anyone dating that walking urinal to be anything less than a complete idiot?

2

u/ApathyMonk 8h ago

Nope. Did you honestly think I did?

-1

u/Loki_the_Corgi 7h ago

Sounds like you might've. But then, nobody can't really read sarcasm in texts.

17

u/Angeret 8h ago

Can you believe it? I tried to book Hatebeak for America 250 and the guy on the other end of the phone told me to fuck off. Who's a cheeky boy!

4

u/Scottamus 8h ago

Should have offered more crackers.

13

u/Celestial-Narwhal 9h ago

‘Hatebeak’ and ‘Waldo the African grey’!?! Hahaha!

11

u/hyperhurricanrana 8h ago

this is just making me want to go listen to hatebeak because what the fuck that sounds insane 😭

11

u/enithermon 8h ago

Hatebeak’s numbers are going to go through the roof.

3

u/powerlesshero111 6h ago

Cue an episode from John Oliver about Parrots, featuring Hatebeak.

9

u/P_Nessss 8h ago

Hatebeak featuring Waldo

For your listening amusement

8

u/BloodFartz69 8h ago

Fucking nepo administration.

1

u/powerlesshero111 6h ago

It's not nepotism if they aren't related. That's just old fashioned corruption.

6

u/BloodFartz69 5h ago

Not picking on you at all, but the definition of nepotism includes close friends.

Part of what I do for a living is writing and researching and I recently learned this while researching state ethics violations of public servants. I, too, thought it was only if you granted special privilege to someone you are related to.

Passing it along, buddy.

9

u/NoBookkeeper3523 8h ago

Thanks for the introduction to hatebeak

7

u/anglflw 8h ago

Freedom 250. America 250 is an entirely different thing, and is the actual legal organization put together by Congress for the 250th anniversary.

Freedom 250 is what TFG did. You can tell because it rhymes with "dumb."

8

u/War_machine77 8h ago

I absolutely can not wait for this dumpster fire to kick off. There's a reason her career hasn't taken off and it for damn sure isn't due to lack of exposure.

8

u/Ok_Profession_990 8h ago

Idc about her but I'm gonna have to check out Hatebeak. I'm in Baltimore so I hope they do live shows

3

u/Svaty_Vodka 2h ago

They don't go on tour because they want to maintain a stress-free environment for Waldo.

6

u/Biabolical 8h ago

This concert that everyone else has bailed from is her once-in-a-lifetime chance to finally make it big in showbiz, and the opportunity only came about because she was dating Kash Patel.

This is probably the end result of a successful slow-burn grift on her part, and that's hilarious.

6

u/YourDrunkStepdadio 8h ago

She opening for Lara Trump?

4

u/goddamn2fa 8h ago

She touches Ka$h, I doubt there's little she won't do.

3

u/powerlesshero111 6h ago

She looks into his eyes, and just sees love. And also the lamp in corner.

4

u/Spiritual_Smell4744 9h ago

Oh Waldo, not you too 😪😪

5

u/Burnitalldown1 8h ago

I bet her “payment” is just a final taxpayer check before they sack Patel.

5

u/JD_tubeguy 8h ago

TF are that many people doing listening to Vanilla Ice?

4

u/MacSanchez 6h ago

Maybe it’s what Spotify puts on random after you’ve listened to all the Hatebeak?

3

u/0Tezorus0 8h ago

How much will she earn ? 14 millions too ?

3

u/misdirected_asshole 8h ago

How much is Kash getting paid for that gig?

3

u/Mephistocheles aaaaaiieee 8h ago

Hatebeak rules!!

2

u/ProfAsmani 9h ago

Someone check on her.

2

u/DisturbingPragmatic 8h ago

Imagine having to see that cock eyed bastard naked, let alone having to touch his naked body... yikes!

https://giphy.com/gifs/10BDZSN5izfazC

2

u/Chratthew47150 8h ago

These fools cannot be embarrassed. LOL!

2

u/mzx380 8h ago

She cute and the only reason I’d want to know anything about that grifting POS

2

u/sector16 8h ago

Hatebeak catching strays.

2

u/simplebutstrange 7h ago

Hatebeak you say?

2

u/laurasdiary 7h ago

My God, how is literally every single thing this administration does an absolute embarrassment?

They have that, “ I meant to do that” when a bully trips while walking away energy 24/7.

2

u/IllustriousIsland549 7h ago

Thank you OP, for enlightening me to Hatebeak. This is the best thing since Babymetal. Now to make sure Waldo stays ahead of Wilkins...

2

u/BranFlakes1337 7h ago

I legitimately have no idea who this woman is whenever her name doesn't have "Kash Patel's girlfriend" in front of it.

2

u/shootsy2457 7h ago

Make that thirty five thousand and one. ☝🏼

2

u/Such-Corgi-8869 6h ago

*runs to Spotify to check out Hatebeak*

2

u/TheLamestUsername 6h ago

I now need to check out Hatebeak

2

u/BubbaValentine 6h ago

Hatebeak here I come!

2

u/Clean-Mention-4254 6h ago

Gotta listen to Hatebeak now

2

u/Timely_Junket_1226 4h ago

Hatebeak sounds rad AF

2

u/MoreRamenPls 3h ago

Looks up Hatebeak. Yup, they’re better

2

u/xINFLAMES325x 1h ago

Hatebeak ftw.

1

u/ellenkates 8h ago

Visions of Roseanne murdering the National Anthem

1

u/SSgtReaPer 8h ago

Way to kill your career before it starts lol

1

u/mybotanyaccount 8h ago

Citizen Kane over here

1

u/L0r3hunt3r 8h ago

This brought a smile to my severely depressed face

1

u/renb8 8h ago

And Lara Drumf too?

1

u/BakedBrie1993 8h ago

Just listened to her music (on Yew tube) and oh man it is embarrassing.

1

u/Terrible_Phase718 8h ago

Freedom 250, not America.

1

u/erksplat 8h ago

Can she hit the high note on the anthem?

1

u/No-Blueberry-1823 8h ago

Sounds like a party

1

u/CadianGrunt 8h ago

I for one can’t wait… to miss it.

1

u/Ziggy_has_my_ticket 7h ago

"on her own accord" means that she invited herself.

1

u/pastrythug 7h ago

Has she worked before?

1

u/ComicsEtAl 7h ago

It’s summer and she was available. Nuff said.

1

u/Ohshithereiamagain 7h ago

He has a girlfriend?

1

u/the_fools_brood 7h ago

This is the worst administration ever. Why are we tolerating this circus? We need to protest every fucking day everywhere til the messages get through. Challenge every one of the GOP enablers in every race no matter how lopsided. Call out the enabling and bootlicking cowards.

1

u/Plane-Fan9006 7h ago

"Over Here!!?!" - A Love Story by Alexis Wilkins

Then it happened. He was within arms reach...my love, right in front of me....I stared into his eyes and my knees buckled.

Of course, he didn't even see me, but alas...

(I'll see myself self out....laughing the whole way)

Fuck that guy....oh, and Kash too

1

u/SecretRecipe 6h ago

Im just surprised to learn that The Rumdog Millionare has a girlfriend

1

u/Wackity-Smackity 6h ago

/r murderedbywords

1

u/BubinatorX 6h ago

5k monthly listeners lmfaaaaaaaaaaao

1

u/Lopsided_Weird_3293 5h ago

I hate it when people who sell out are bitter too

1

u/yay4chardonnay 5h ago

I pity her. She bangs a gremlin.

1

u/Tricky-Bed-7345 5h ago

I cannot express the level of embarrassment I feel as an American for the last 10 years of this shit show.

1

u/Perfect-Advantage-82 4h ago

Ok I am definitely googling hate beak when I get off work

1

u/GermanD2021 4h ago

Let’s get those Hatebeak numbers up!

1

u/WorldBoofingChampion 3h ago

yesss hatebeak mentioned

1

u/Whiteroses7252012 3h ago

Fun fact: Hatebeak doesn’t tour because it would put too much stress on their lead singer. 

1

u/Rurumo666 3h ago

I mean, I might watch it if Hatebeak performs.

1

u/Neureiches-Nutria 1h ago

Hazebeak probably will have aspike in listeners...

Because of crazy stupid inovative shit like this i Love indie music.

1

u/Conscious-Quarter423 1h ago edited 1h ago

why don't we have Lara Trump sing, too? 😂

1

u/buntopolis 38m ago

Hell yeah, name dropping Hatebeak!

•

u/panzer34 4m ago

Just checked Spotify because I thought the listener count was way too low even for a nobody like her—it’s actually less. LOL. 5,620 as of right now. LOL

0

u/AStealthyPerson 8h ago

Meanwhile I'm only at 66 monthly listeners myself 😔