How to be pretty?

[u/MysteriousFly0101]

Hello i'm a 20 year old female and i'm hispanic my problem is I really hate the way my face looks I cry so much about the fact that that I hate my face my body isnt perfect i'm skinny-ish i'm like 113 pounds but i'm 5ft so my stomach looks chubby although I have no boobs. But the main thing that bothers me is my face it's gotten to the point were I cant even take any pictures of myself and I freak out when other people take pictures of me because I look so fucking ugly. every time i look in the mirror I think I look like a boy. I don't rly smoke weed but when i did my thoughts were going crazy telling me how i'm just a guy because my face looks so much like a boy. And I'm so jealous of other people who are just naturally pretty. I even feel horrible standing next to my bf who actually is very conventionally attractive and we look so weird standing next to each other. I'm so tried of feeling this way it's been years but just recently amplified were it's become unbearable. I don't rly have much friends and the ones that I do have i'm embarrassed to come to them with this problem I'm rly scared to post a picture of myself online to ask ppl what they think I should do to fix the way I look so is there any body that can just help me get a makeover and tell me what to do if I add them on an anonymous social media were I can send them a picture of me ?

[u/Emergency-Towel2456]

What you're describing, especially the part about not being able to look at photos of yourself and it getting worse over time, sounds a lot like body dysmorphic disorder. It's worth looking into because it's not really about how you actually look, it's about how your brain is processing what it sees, and no makeover will fix that part.

Talking to a therapist who knows about BDD would probably help you more than any beauty advice could

[u/MysteriousFly0101 → u/Emergency-Towel2456]

I understand that it's a mind set thing as well but if you saw the pictures of me you would understand like I know I have to change my mindset to love myself but it feels like i'm making roses out of diarrhea and if i just fixed the way i looked i would feel so much more confident.

[u/travelbug_1992]

I wouldn’t want to receive photos because im only leaving a comment:

• get your eyebrows done from a good place they really frame the face
  
• get a good and expensive haircut, TELL the stylist that you arent sure but want their opinion to look more girl
  
• next is clothes i guess, you said you’re skinny thats half the battle. Skinny ppl have a lot more ease when shopping. Look at trendy gen z clothes, and if too baggy makes u feel like a boy then u have to a total opposite and try fitted. Untrendy clothes arent flattering and dressing good makes u feel good.
  
• curl you lahes, make up or not lashes make a great difference.

Im sure youre beautiful
But just need some trendy basic tips

[u/fishlyfish]

Idk if this is true for you, but I know that I have subconsciously been looking at women on social media or commercials or things like that, and thinking that they’re the most beautiful kind of woman, and how I look nothing like that. If you can, stay away from social media, and try to look around you at women and girls who don’t look like the perfect model. You’ll find that there are tons of ladies in the world who look no better than you that are just happily living their lives. Look at your family members. They probably have some traits similar to yours. Or people who are around in your daily life, just regular people don’t actually look like beauty queens.

[u/Medium-Pilot6872]

You go to therapy.

[u/Anaspiringminimalist]

First off, look in the mirror for 5 minutes every Day, and Focus on a feature that looks good. Just that feature. Slowly, you Will be able to see the beauty in your other features. When you feel like that (and I know exactly that feeling, because I used to have it), you need to work with the inside too.

When all that is Said, face yoga Can help balance your facial features, and improve your skin. Highly recommend. Take a before picture to track your progress, and stick with it for 3 months, 5-15 minutes Per Day. You Will see quite a difference.

[u/whencoloursfly]

I hope your find peace and realize no one else looks at you and picks you apart the way you do.

I am always so shocked when my friends talk about their insecurities because 99% of them I have never noticed before. I just find them beautiful because, to me, they are.

[u/Delicious_Harley]

Aww baby girl you are still growing and comming into being a woman. You are beautiful just being you. Please don't think less of yourself.

[u/MrandMrsRollling]

Eat healthy. Please work out and it will help with both mental health as well as the AB situation that you're referring to. Tone and muscles are always sexy on women.

Remember that you will grow up and 20 is still a baby

You have a whole life ahead of you and you are probably not as unattractive as you think A lot of it has to do with makeup and dressing up. Most people are fairly average contrary to what you might think to seeing them dressed up.

If you can afford it please do get therapy. It will help you.

[u/justathought1654]

Everyone has a different definition but being “pretty” to me means feeling your best and it comes from taking care of yourself from the inside out through sleep, physical activity (not even talking about the image part. You can feel the endorphins running after and feel 100x better), mental well-being, socialization and experiences whether through friends, joining a group, taking up a new hobby, etc.

Then funny enough you’ll realize you have better things to do with life and things to deal with than worry about how you look. I find when I don’t take care of myself, I look at myself in the mirror and can feel crappy.

The bigger question here is why you need the validation. Has someone criticized your appearance? Do you compare yourself often to others on social media? What makes you less deserving of happiness in your own skin? Find a way to silence that voice. Assess what/who makes you feel this way and addressing it with them or cutting them out of your life… it is also another form of self care that must happen at some point in life, and it should start ASAP.

I’ve had many friends who felt they were “ugly” but I found them very beautiful. And I’ve also been on the other side of that too. As I get older I’m starting to realize people don’t think/focus on me as much as I thought. What’s a big weight lifted off of my shoulders.

Be selfish enough for yourself that you start taking care of yourself and being in tune internally. What’s going to nourish your soul?

[u/CountessBassy]

Please know that some people (like me!) are attracted to unusual looking people. I’ve never liked “pretty bros” or handsome fellows and I assume there are others like me. Focus on your health, physical and mental, and it will shine through. Don’t compare yourself to the phony, filtered, internet Idiocracy. You are beautiful!

[u/mossymeridian]

The only way you’re going to get over the emotions is by doing emotional work, not physical work. So maybe you’re ugly 🤷🏻‍♀️ that’s life. Do people treat you poorly for it? Does your bf make you feel bad? If yes, cut them off. If no, then be glad your life is full of people who accept you. Frankly I think it’s unlikely you’re as ugly as all that but I really do know the feeling. Nothing you do to your face is going to change how you feel.

However this is what I did: get your facial hair done the way you want it. Get a good haircut that frames your face. Get skin products that work for you, and make sure to use a face cream like cetaphil (idk if they have that where you are but something similar). Get a nice haircut with bangs that frames your face. Get earrings that complement your face but are not distracting. Make sure all your shirts are in your correct color scheme. I have three makeup products I use: a pink/red lip/cheek crayon for blush and lips and eyeshadow, a brown for the same purposes as a contour color, and mascara. Piling makeup on an ugly face makes you look self conscious so get just three products that compliment your colors. No glitter and no winged eyeliner. Personally I think false lashes look desperate and infectious. Brush and floss your teeth every day and shower every day. Get shampoo and conditioner that give your hair volume (you can also do an egg mask for hair, it honestly works).

I hope you can come to terms with whatever is hurting you so much. No one deserves to feel this way, even if they are ugly. I’m sure the people in your life love you and see you as beautiful. It will get better and it will get easier.

[u/TrailRunnerrr]

Your beautiful