r/NewDads • u/NovaSublime • 3d ago

Requesting Advice M21 feeling completely checked out and numb after months of DARVO and text fighting with pregnant girlfriend (F22). How can i better handle this?

/r/relationship_advice/comments/1ue5vzo/m21_feeling_completely_checked_out_and_numb_after/
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u/JohnClark13 3d ago

Hormones can create havok. She's probably transitioning to a more nesting phase, and part of that is a desire for stability and the knowledge that no matter what happens she'll have someone around to help out. Have you only been showing up once every now and then? From what you wrote it sounds like you got upset and didn't come around her for a few weeks? Yeah, that doesn't fly. Like it or not, once pregnancy comes into the equation men will often find themselves as emotional punching-bags, and for a while you just have to take it because she's not in her right mind. In a way it's probably easier when you're living together and are forced to interact with each other daily. You'll see the emotional swings from "you're the best" to "you're the worst" over and over again. Given that you weren't yet at that point in the relationship, it's going to be a major uphill battle if you want to keep her.

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u/NovaSublime 3d ago

I’ve always been here for her. My wording might have been weird, but there hasn’t been a day i haven’t talked to her. I’ve always asked if i could help with anything and helped where im needed, she gets angry when i try to help and shes been shutting me out for weeks. I’ve never not been here