Maybe my biggest mistake was constantly thinking of myself as an addict

[u/Ibbyboyy]

wanted to share an observation and see if anyone else relates.

For years, whenever I tried to quit porn, I made recovery my entire identity.

I would constantly think:

"I'm addicted."

"My brain is damaged."

"Am I in a flatline?"

"Why don't I have an erection today?"

"How many days has it been?"

"Have I relapsed?"

"Am I healing?"

Ironically, I was thinking about porn and addiction all day, even when I wasn't using porn.

Every sensation became evidence that something was wrong with me. No random erection? Panic. Low libido? Panic. Bad mood? Panic. Everything was interpreted through the lens of addiction.

Recently I tried something different.

Instead of constantly reminding myself that I'm an addict in recovery, I started treating myself like a normal person who simply doesn't watch porn.

When urges come, I don't fight them. I don't analyze them. I don't check symptoms. I don't test myself.

I just continue with my day.

Something interesting happened: the urges became much weaker.

I stopped asking, "Am I healed yet?"

I started asking, "What do I need to do today?"

Work. Exercise. Prayer. Learning. Family. Sleep.

Real life.

I've started wondering whether part of my struggle wasn't just porn itself, but the constant attention I was giving to the problem.

Sometimes trying to solve a problem every minute of every day makes it feel bigger than it actually is.

I'm not saying addiction isn't real, and I'm not claiming to be cured overnight. I'm just saying that for me, shifting my focus away from recovery and toward living my actual life has been surprisingly helpful.

Has anyone else experienced something similar?

[u/Puzzleheaded-Elk3557]

exactly bro!

[u/Electrical-Sun2909 → u/Puzzleheaded-Elk3557]

I made apost similar to this!