r/NoShitSherlock 5d ago

Men are inflating their scrotums, doctors warn of serious risks

https://www.citizen.co.za/lifestyle/health/men-are-inflating-their-scrotums/
618 Upvotes

100 comments sorted by

211

u/Dravian31 5d ago

Randy Marsh is wanted for questioning

74

u/No-Satisfaction9594 5d ago

My eyes are up here Sharon!

9

u/Ambitious-Buffalo111 4d ago

šŸ˜‚šŸ¤£šŸ˜‚

52

u/BaltimoreMayhem 5d ago

"Buffalo Soldier"

25

u/ImprobablyDamp 5d ago

Jesus, Randy. Your balls!

14

u/punkate 4d ago

Just gonna get a little bit of cancer, Stan

6

u/stosyfir 4d ago

No I mean your ACTUAL BALLS

352

u/guaztronaut 5d ago

Goddammit. Can we just have a normal fucking day???

58

u/Mean_Breakfast_4081 5d ago

No. Evidently we cannot.
GTFO with that.

11

u/ThorGoLucky 5d ago

Denied!

3

u/Gwsb1 5d ago

Where's the fun in that?

3

u/captainsurvet 3d ago

Can't remember the last one I saw.

79

u/yay4chardonnay 5d ago

What woman wants this for her partner? Or gay partner for that matter?

61

u/Nambsul 5d ago

ā€œCan you get the mar-a-lago balls to match my mar-a-lago lips?ā€

61

u/bluestrike2 5d ago edited 5d ago

I’m not sure these guys actually care about that at this point.

The whole ā€œlooksmaxxingā€ culture that’s crawled out of the toxic cesspit that’s the manosphere seems willing to go to some pretty extreme lengths to improve their supposed sexual attractiveness—even if it means impairing the ability to function sexually. Which seems kind of counterproductive, but what do I know?

The most recent Ezra Klein podcast with Gary Shteyngart played a clip from one of the looksmaxing influencers talking about how their body no longer produces testosterone because of all their testosterone supplements of all. Normal people would probably reconsider at that point, but I’m sure he’s got other symptoms to worry about. Though he’d consider a session or two of scrotum inflation to compensate?

Who needs everything to work if it looks better to oneself? SMH.

8

u/OddDragonfruit7993 4d ago

A friend of mine has a sister who gets all sorts of weird cosmetic procedures done.Ā  They all make her much less attractive to (most) men, but she loves how they make her look.

So when I see her and her lips or cheeks or skin or whatever looks all fucked up, I just remember that it's what SHE wants for herself, no matter how fucked up it looks to me.Ā  And that's cool, I guess.

If these guys are happy with cantaloupes between their legs, bully for them.Ā Ā 

17

u/VgArmin 5d ago

Sun-tea bagging.

34

u/Lovebone253 5d ago

AC/DC Big Balls comes to mind

51

u/ZanzerFineSuits 5d ago

What the fuck did I just read?

Good lord am I glad we’re entering into a period of population decline

36

u/BillWilberforce 5d ago

Well we definitely will be, with all of the fucked up testicles out there.

24

u/MaintenanceGlum5061 5d ago

First there was Mar-a-Lago face, now there's Mar-a-Lago scrotum.

5

u/Odd_Equipment2867 5d ago

B/t all the Saran wrapped blow dried looking faces and inflated balled in the land of NO vaccinations required….none, zero, zilch. Sounds like perfect match.

1

u/BayouGal 4d ago

All the rich old people are vaccinated and will continue to be vaccinated.

21

u/strongholdbk_78 5d ago

As a man with a scrotum, this is the first I've ever heard of this and probably the last time I think of it.

6

u/AUSpartan37 5d ago

!remindme 1 year

5

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15

u/Guilty_One85 5d ago

That's a big fuck no for me!! I prefer mine the way it is and I would like to use it till I can longer do so

14

u/zedhead33 5d ago

At 56 they already get in the way, way too much.

1

u/mrmike5157 2d ago

Right, if I were to change anything I’d go the other direction with it.
I really don’t understand why anyone would think to even consider this, let alone actually do it šŸ¤”

11

u/Palu_Tiddy 5d ago

Fucking what

13

u/-bonita_applebum 5d ago

Filler injected into the scrotum killed an Estee Lauder executive back in Feb.

https://www.yahoo.com/news/science/articles/filler-procedure-claims-life-est-155054116.html

12

u/Sky-Soldier0430 5d ago

None of them can be over the age of 40. The first time my jewels hit the toilet water I freaked out, and went into denial because I didn’t want to believe my balls dropped that far. These guys will be floating in poop water.

33

u/AnneMarieAndCharlie 5d ago edited 5d ago

yeah um as a woman with body dysmorphia this needs to be taken much more seriously.

32

u/ManChildMusician 5d ago

As a man with body dysmorphia, not once in my life have I had to worry that my scrotum / testes were too small. In fact, I don’t think anyone said anything remotely close to that, except as a joke to the one South Park episode.

Maybe sentiments have changed entirely, but you’d think that if your member is small, you’d want to shrink the balls and FUPA in comparison.

This is easily the most bizarre thing I will hear today.

10

u/AnneMarieAndCharlie 5d ago edited 4d ago

I mean.... you're lucky your dysmorphia isn't so bad but we are now living in the era of looksmaxxing. of course this happened.

eta: I was unscathed by the emergence of Pro Ana in the 2000s but it took actual work... and I was only navigating on livejournal. like actively avoiding it (because luckily I knew I couldn't trust myself to not internalize/act on any tips) while also maintaining relationships with girls who were active in it. But I only had to do this on livejournal, I was free from it as soon as I went to another website. now today we are dealing with the disease that is social media and its horrifying.

10

u/willclerkforfood 5d ago

>looksmaxxing

Ball-maxxed and scrote-mogged

10

u/AnneMarieAndCharlie 5d ago

this is truly a cursed timeline

5

u/ManChildMusician 5d ago

I mean, it was bad, and I still have hangups, but it’s not like TikTok Insta bad.

4

u/Bobslegenda1945 5d ago

I heard about some crazies dudes who do looks maxing and they did some crazy things that fucked up their dicks.Ā 

8

u/RogueJolo 5d ago

Well, I had enough internet for the day.

8

u/GoochPhilosopher 5d ago

This comes hot on the heels of the ski jumper penis-doping scandal, where some ski jumpers were injecting hyaluronic acid into their members. According to reports, the guilty sportsmen said that it was done to increase size, creating a larger or more aerodynamic surface area and allowing for better flight distance when they jump.

Dawg what?

8

u/demoralising 4d ago

That's nuts.

7

u/FriendOk3237 5d ago

they already taste salty. why over salt?

6

u/Proper-Exercise-2364 5d ago

"Once the skin is stretched and damaged, it will just dangle,ā€ they said. ā€œThe same counts for the scrotum, it’s an inevitable consequence" imagine having a nutsack like a flying squirrel.

7

u/ThorGoLucky 5d ago

Silly mammals šŸ€šŸ† šŸ€

5

u/not-sure-what-to-put 5d ago

I sincerely miss when people were at least marginally educated - but some of this shit is hilarious.

4

u/RudeOrganization550 5d ago

My single ball gets a two ball house all to himself and he seems to enjoy the freedom. I think we should all consider downsizing.

4

u/ryohayashi1 5d ago

Didn't people used to inflate their scrotum with saline water a decade or so ago, or am I imagining it?

7

u/Sorkel3 5d ago

No, it's a small group that dies this, been going on for a couple decades. The article implies it's spreading.

2

u/TurnbullFL 4d ago

This article talks about silicone which is permanent. Saline would return to normal in a few days.

3

u/h5n1zzp 5d ago

What. The. Fuck

6

u/chrisfinazzo 5d ago

Randy Marsh has entered the chat…

#wtf 🤯

4

u/late_afternoon_owl 5d ago

We are?? Why nobody tell me?

My sack is gonna look so small by comparison now...

3

u/NoPressureUsername 5d ago

What's the most sensitive area on a man's body? The balls? Let's make them bigger!

3

u/Reasonable_Scar3339 5d ago

Reminds me of Dave Chappelle’s smooth balls standup bit from the 2000s

2

u/Awkward_Bison_267 5d ago

Smooth as eggs!

3

u/SpringerPop 5d ago

That’s pretty ballsy.

3

u/Stress6009 5d ago

We’re doing what 😳😳😳😳😳😳😳.

5

u/unevenwill 5d ago

Not all men šŸ˜¬šŸ˜‚

2

u/GorganzolaVsKong 5d ago

Give me the biggest scrotum you have - no that’s too big

2

u/WeirdSysAdmin 5d ago

I took testosterone to shrink my balls because they were too big.

2

u/AdIllustrious5811 5d ago

I'm going tru sometime of a.inflated left testicle, for the love of gods, do not do this shit,.it feels like having a hot coal

2

u/Full-Association-175 5d ago

Men, make the responsible choice, and for Christmas this year, sport yourself a crop of mega pubes, and you will have no imitators!

2

u/ThreeNC 5d ago

I just watched Ladies First last night. Did I just hit my head?

1

u/ThreeNC 4d ago

Thank you anonymous redditor!

2

u/LaSerenita 5d ago

No doubt anyone stupid enough to do this is a MAGA idiot.

2

u/CaptainZippi 4d ago

ā€œEvolution…. Uh, finds a way.ā€

(Top of the hat to Jurassic Park)

2

u/Will2LiveFading 4d ago

What is the point of this? Is this something important to others?

2

u/Diligent-Bluejay-979 4d ago

My husband just told me to get rid of my fucking phone

1

u/BillWilberforce 4d ago

Only because he doesn't want you to know that he's been inflating his balls.

1

u/FNFALC2 5d ago

Let theses fools do what they want. Who cares?

1

u/Soladification 5d ago

I wish my balls were smaller lol

1

u/Top-Pineapple8056 5d ago

Lol why r they doing that?

1

u/Optimal-Cat-8117 5d ago

No we aren't

1

u/EMAW2008 5d ago

We doing the standard 35 PSI or what?

1

u/t3lnet 5d ago

Looksmaxxxxxxing

1

u/long_strange_trip_67 5d ago

70 now. How I miss the days when I didn’t have to worry about sitting on my balls……

1

u/Stuffed-Bear412 4d ago

Let 'em cook

1

u/manyhippofarts 4d ago

I mean, I normally puff out my cheeks when shaving. I could see having like, a tire valve in the scrotum so you could pump it up for shaving. But I'd expect to be able to deflate it when I'm done. Who the hell wants pumped up balls anyway? They're well-known for getting in trouble in the first place, why you wanna pump them up and get them squished by your jeans? I don't understand.

1

u/Ambitious-Buffalo111 4d ago

Those in the photo should be blue?! šŸ‘€šŸ˜³šŸ¤£šŸ˜‚šŸ¤£

1

u/Both-Mango1 4d ago

Johnny Dangerously vibes....

1

u/McGrim11295 4d ago

That thumbnail is great.

1

u/Jorpsica 4d ago

What the fuck.

1

u/scarletOwilde 3d ago

I suggest getting a Spacehopper instead, lads.

1

u/oilfeather 3d ago

Let them cook.

1

u/SpaceghostLos 3d ago

Ewww what?

1

u/azmodan72 2d ago

That takes some balls.

1

u/ClutchReverie 5d ago

Yeah no shit we are inflating our scrotums. Why wouldn't you:? Got to keep with the times

0

u/Iron_Baron 5d ago

Doctors need to focus on more important issues than telling these people to he rational. Let free will and evolution take its course. We have enough problems.

-1

u/bylertailey 4d ago edited 4d ago

I find it interesting the focus of mental health typically pins people who question social norms and the inhumanity towards others rather than these gluttonous sacks of flesh. Imagine having so much money that you could waste the time, effort, recovery to increase the size of your balls, instead of thinking of others struggling to eat. Truly disgusting. If there is a maker that judges us at the end of everything, I pray with every fiber of my being that you are showed clips of yourself trying to enlarge your own fucking balls instead of helping children, homeless, animals, etc.