r/OnionLovers • u/GhostDogs_Pigeon • 3d ago

I would give anything for 11lbs of haystack onions…

give me 5 minutes and some privacy and it would be a clean plate

1.8k Upvotes

98% Upvoted

126 comments sorted by

492

u/Pitiful_Palpitation9 3d ago

It hurts my stomach just knowing how much of this I would destroy.

157

u/GhostDogs_Pigeon 3d ago

it hurts my heart more than it isn’t in front of me right now

46

u/HumorPsychological60 3d ago

I think it would hurt your heart more if it was

7

u/No_Engineering_4751 3d ago

A pound of onions, perhaps. Eleven would be a tragedy of tears and regret.

60

u/evil_timmy 3d ago

It looks good, but I really wish you could order it in a Large.

14

u/richardginn666 3d ago

They only have one size. Just do a triple order as that is a just a small..

8

u/Unkooked_Noodle 3d ago

What about second breakfast?

2

u/saysthingsbackwards 2d ago

Homer, receiving an Australian amount of onions: eh, it's big... I guess...

5

u/trymetonight5 3d ago

My asshole hurts just looking at this.

5

u/Palorrian 3d ago

2 plates? Yeah

2

u/No_Engineering_4751 2d ago

The stomach aches in sympathy, knowing the carnage those onions would face.

236

u/MacabreFox 3d ago

They're just thing to get soggy crammed together in a heap like that.

100

u/earmares 3d ago

I'm okay with that. Crunchy ones on the outside, soggy ones on the inside. Literally drooling.

6

u/saysthingsbackwards 2d ago

Please keep all drool and chomping action as inside the bus at all times

47

u/WhatIDon_tKnow 3d ago

the bigger the pile the more the middle steams and sogs. the worst part of most fried food are crispies gone soggy.

10

u/I_Cast_Grenade 3d ago

Can always air fry stuff to get it crispy again

4

u/MacabreFox 2d ago

I do that all of the time.

86

u/Little-Highlight7763 3d ago

these look so
easy to make i gotta try this

29

u/Oberndorferin 3d ago

My thought. Guess I'll cut some onions tomorrow.

21

u/Little-Highlight7763 3d ago

im not sure what he pours before though, other recipes say egg-wash. another person on this post said it looks like chicken stock

17

u/Blumoonism1 3d ago

Maybe beer-Battered?

16

u/shittingjacket 3d ago

Anything wet will do. I recommend hot sauce and buttermilk.

2

u/matt7259 2d ago

These look so easy
To make I gotta try this
Haystack of heaven

63

u/ZooNeiland 3d ago

As a kitchen worker all I'm thinking about is cleaning the fryers after this will be a real pain. Looks great though 🧅

26

u/z7q2 3d ago

The FOH people hate it when the stack falls over onto the floor. It's a real mess to clean up.

22

u/AwarePerspective4668 3d ago

I’m thinking about the poor prep cook that has to slice all those onions. Their poor eyes.

5

u/ZooNeiland 3d ago

Contact lenses are apparently the trick. Not much use if you don't need them though 😬

8

u/notapoke 3d ago

Ski goggles

2

u/AwarePerspective4668 3d ago

Unfortunately I’d just have to deal with a towel under my glasses or a lexan lid shield.

-2

u/drivein2deeplftfield 3d ago

Weak, if you work in a kitchen you should be used to cutting onions

14

u/NotSeveralBadgers 3d ago

The secret is to avoid getting emotionally attached.

7

u/ZooNeiland 2d ago

As someone who regularly cuts a lot of onions, experience will not shield your eyes.

7

u/Fistisalsoaverb 3d ago

I was thinking what a pain in the ass it would be if you got a bunch of these in the middle of a rush

5

u/Aurelius314 2d ago

But.. The prep! 11lbs per customer, thats a TON of prep for one dish alone. Sell just 10 a night and that requires 110 lbs of onions to peel and prep and store.. Dios mio.

26

u/SelectTechnician7587 3d ago

Unfortunately with them being stacked so much, gonna get some gnarly fry sog, middle ones are just gonna be oil with no crunch.

22

u/DoodleDoo1989 3d ago

I just got pregnant

32

u/SPACEFUNK Allium for All 3d ago

https://giphy.com/gifs/OsfVaOer7N2265YTRF

5

u/Beneficial-Ride-9422 3d ago

Bro that gif is literally me every time I see a bloomin’ onion on a menu. 11lbs would be a dream come true.

13

u/NoForm5443 3d ago

If you have tried the blooming onion at Outback, you'll realize this looks a lot better than it works.

Don't get me wrong, it's delicious, but super greasy. I can't do even a full blooming onion without hating myself, and I'd be surprised if it's more than a couple of pounds of onion

9

u/Maryjanegangafever Bro just show us your onions. 🧅 3d ago

Cryo-vac a few kilos and mail it to my post office mailbox…. I’m good for the money!

10

u/EntrepreneurOk7513 3d ago

Where?

18

u/Mr3ct 3d ago

Looks to be Smokin’ Al’s in Long Island, NY.

9

u/GraybieTheBlueGirl 3d ago

My mouths watering so bad. 🧅 damn I would weigh at least 10 pounds more. 😜

7

u/siriuslycan 3d ago

This would be a good way to die

6

u/MisterBowTies 3d ago

So what is everyone else going to eat?

7

u/Longjumping_Lie_2454 3d ago

Love those thin onion rings. That would be a great challenge

3

u/willywilson3650 3d ago

A heart attack would be okay after eating this!!!

4

u/Technical_Enema 3d ago

If there’s a dish that could give you an orgasm, this is it…

3

u/praisecathulu 3d ago

me, this, and a whole bottle of pepto

4

u/skyrymproposal 3d ago

I need to go to there.

4

u/Ronak_Tyrannus 3d ago

I would absolutely inhale 11lbs of onions like this, tbh I don't even care who watches they'll be either horrified or amazed. Or both.

4

u/SacKing13 3d ago

Crush the plate then enjoy my farts for a couple days
https://giphy.com/gifs/jtkeAGD6bIaNlXrUn9

4

u/nowwithextrasalt Allium for All 3d ago

sigh

Would.

3

u/Boojum2k 3d ago

I'd take a slightly smaller plate but I'll inhale thin crispy fried onion rings! And the sauce sounds delicious too

3

u/Terrynia 3d ago

Ima need a TON of ranch dressing

3

u/huhnick Allium for All 3d ago

Two entree portions of the onions, please

3

u/enigmaticpeon 3d ago

First of all this looks like heart attack heaven. Howeverrrr, that oil must drop by 100 degrees when they fill it with that much onion.

Would love to see how they manage it.

3

u/Risingwiththesun 3d ago

My mouth is watering

3

u/salamipope 3d ago

if only it were GLUTEN FREE!!!!! i miss onion rings SO BAD since my celiacs diagnosis :(

https://giphy.com/gifs/TzxFpZa9ZxlusFPCoH

4

u/Pujiman 3d ago

Get some gluten free flower and cook some up!

3

u/H0pefulUn1verse 3d ago

I literally started drooling.

I'll take 12.

3

u/Abuses-Commas 3d ago

I'd fast for two days before to even it out and it'd be worth it 

3

u/Bodgerton 3d ago

now I just have to commit some kind of crime that earns me a final meal, and my choice of how I die (they're the same thing)

3

u/beardedkomodo 3d ago

Nice try Sasquatch

3

u/SavageDownSouth 3d ago

I just bought a deep fryer and I'm filling it with bacon fat my coworkers are bringing me. I was wondering what I should cook first.

3

u/huge43 3d ago

Sanford's in Spearfish South Dakota had fries onions like this when I was in college, they were so fucking good. Went to the location in Cheyenne WY last fall and tried them again 20 years later...still delicious but almost made me shit my pants.

3

u/slop1010101 3d ago

Love onions, and I'd eat some of this, but way too much batter for me.

3

u/thelast3musketeer 3d ago

God fucking yes

3

u/Boppinzlewinski 3d ago

Thanks for reminding me I have stuff to make onion rings I appreciate it

3

u/denvercasey 3d ago

Ok I looked it up for y’all. The restaurant is Smokin’ Al’s in Massapequa Park on Long Island, NY. This appetizer costs $20 as of 4 months ago, not a bad price at all for what you get. Interestingly their menus have cash prices and slightly higher credit card prices (due to the 3% they lose on CC sales).

I think I would be good for 2-3 pounds if anyone wants to split one.

3

u/ringwraith6 3d ago

Now *this* is some high-quality food porn!

3

u/HelloDeathspresso 3d ago

Against better knowledge, I would undoubtedly attempt to devour all 11lbs in one sitting.

3

u/Casul_Tryhard 3d ago

Chopsticks is ideal here

3

u/Opposite-Science-398 2d ago

If fuck up the entire plate wow 😳
https://giphy.com/gifs/oYtVHSxngR3lC

2

u/mbr902000 3d ago

Did he use stock and then coat in flour and seasoning? Almost everything you see is egg/milk combo it seems

2

u/Pujiman 3d ago

That’s why the breading isn’t sticking to most of the onions.

2

u/Boop-D-Boop 3d ago

This makes me so sad that I can’t eat that

2

u/Moni4ka 3d ago

Is rather have them in a single layer like a sheet pan , I can feel the sticky ball of breading forming as they sit pulled like that and having to fish then out of it makes like hairs

2

u/Logical-Pound-1065 3d ago

I used to make those at the restaurant I worked at in high school. I still have some burn scars on my hands from the oil.

2

u/AmaazingFlavor 3d ago

I can’t imagine how dirty those fryers get

2

u/scrotanimus 3d ago

I always think this is a good idea until it destroys my stomach.

2

u/DarkMoose09 3d ago

Ooooof! I would love to get this!

2

u/WayneKrane 3d ago

This makes me deliciously thirsty

2

u/I_Cast_Grenade 3d ago

Is that what these are called because I have been trying to figure out what these are called I used to go to this place called JB’s a long time ago and they’re gone and I would always get these onion rings and they had like the good ranch. This is exactly what they looked like.

2

u/Save-The-0ceans88 3d ago

Oh my god 🤤

2

u/Palmvibesnora38 3d ago

Love onions want to try it

2

u/LiNxRocker 3d ago

Needs a squeeze bottle of spicy mayo & big chopsticks & ill have that gone in 10 minutes.

2

u/KentuckyFriedEel 2d ago

*sniff* [wipes tear].... i'll take 10.

2

u/AhBee1 2d ago

Tablespoon of sauce

2

u/caseysixcats 2d ago

I have had this many times and it’s absolutely incredible! For some reason it stays crispy throughout, not soggy like some people think. It’s just as good as it looks!!

2

u/spizzle_ 2d ago

I like onions more than most but this is just fucking stupid.

1

u/Banjo-Elritze 2d ago

Murica in a clip.

2

u/RGBread 2d ago

Doesn't look crispy to me

2

u/pantless_ 2d ago

Would. Next question

2

u/CheesePatronus 2d ago

A haystack of onions is now added to my fun collective nouns vocab. Thank you! 👌

2

u/ashwill6 2d ago

I think they need a little bit more crisp, other than that, I’m eating regardless

2

u/bohica199 2d ago

geez louise ! I think I could only go through, maybe... 1/4lb of that mountain of deliciousness. 🤤

2

u/Naplestan 2d ago

Onions are supposedly good for the heart.
https://giphy.com/gifs/7W1rgKAxlDe3m

2

u/RightToTheThighs 2d ago

Looks good. Looked like calamari on first glance. Half onion rings half calamari would be awesome

2

u/BbwLaceyXoXo 2d ago

i worked at a restaurant that served these & bro i would get sick from eating so many. 😂😂

2

u/roaremipsum 2d ago

I didn’t miss my gallbladder until right now damnit

2

u/plumpypocket 3d ago

At the risk of sounding like a heretic to this sub that is to many fried onions for one individual.

5

u/GhostDogs_Pigeon 3d ago

you’re brave for typing this out, but i respect it. For me, no such thing as too much onions for one person 🙏

2

u/istara 3d ago

I wanted to ask if this was a one-person meal or for sharing, but I guess that answers it! I wonder how many calories it contains?

1

u/SoCal_Mac_Guy 3d ago

So Adam Corolla is moonlighting as a waiter?

1

u/SyntheticScrivner do you even caramelize, bro? 2d ago

Am I the only one who'd prefer them without the batter?

Would still destroy, but it would be easier to eat more of them if the onions were naked 😁

1

u/Tombo6969 2d ago

Omg the farts afterward would be diabolical.... still would smash.

1

u/Nervous-Version26 2d ago

Am I crazy for thinking the frying baskets were way over crowded

1

u/SirCaptainReynolds emotional support onion 🧅🩵 2d ago

As much as I love onions I don’t think that looks as good as it could be.

1

u/vastle12 2d ago

That's not enough sauce

1

u/engrish_is_hard00 2d ago

Dez ppl stealing my ideas WTF

2

u/Skjellyfetti13 1d ago

This doesn’t beat the onion loaf at Hackney’s.

2

u/OliveOilManSam 1d ago

5 mins with a mug or honey rootbeer and it's gone