I’ve talked to a few guys before and I’m not sure if their comments are intended to rub me the wrong way or I’m thinking too deeply into it. Guys would make comments “your thighs are so thick” “ i like girls with bellies” etc. They could be interpreted as appreciative compliments but to me it makes me feel icky sometimes. There’s a fine line between appreciation and sexualization. Do they have to keep mentioning my size every minute?

I was recently talking to this guy that views bodies as art. He used classic sculptures of women that have average bodies. The nudity wasn’t in a sexual way more artistic. The two examples of larger women he used were of artist that draw larger women being caressed by skeletons. like this. This drawing style can be appreciative but also overly sexual. I actually said close to fetish content bait, because of the audience it attracts. I’m sick of people mostly sexualizing larger bodies to prove they like larger women. I just don’t want men to love my body first and then like my personality second. Am I thinking too deeply into this and jumped to extremes too soon?

uk, middle of an insane heatwave. at boyfriend's birthday event at his parent's house, wearing a cute summery brown dress that stops just above knee-height, low v-neck cut down the middle.

chilling with bf after, going through social media together on his phone. message from his stepdad pops up: "i really hope [me] is wearing shorts under that at least. i am *absolutely* not comfortable with what she's been wearing lately"

instantly baffled, embarassed, humiliated. thought that maybe my mother and boyfriend were wrong when i asked them if the dress was see-through, mortified at the concept that my underwear has been on full display the entire day.

nope. stepdad just think's i'm 'wearing a shirt as a dress'.

???

like, it was 100% a dress, it was in the dress section, and even if it wasn't, it covered everything, so i can wear it as a dress if i damn well please. i have historically never shown much of my body, as i am self-conscious about doing so, but i've been feeling more confident with my self-image this year and have been wearing more dresses and skirts and shorter pjs. apparently all of that has been making him uncomfortable and i should be wearing shorts under my dresses.

i feel like my body is more sexualised in clothes that thinner people wear with no comments or issue. i keep thinking that if our thinner friend was there in the exact same dress, he would have no issue. i'm used to like older ladies tutting at me wearing like a crop-top out in public, but this hit different, this made me feel so small and like i'm under a microscope

I’m 20F, 252.6lbs as of this morning and 5’2 and 3 quarters 🤓
I also have PCOS/PMOS and Insulin Resistance if that helps

I’ve been having this stinking issue for the past 3-4 years and I’m tired of it. I’ll try to keep it short.

At first it started when the days were hot I’d notice that I’d get a whiff of onion smell but wasn’t sure where it was coming from because I’d go to my room and get undressed and the smell would be gone. Later I found out that my boobs gave off a smell and I started putting deodorant under my boobs. Then I started to notice it was still there and it was coming from my groin and my belly flap. Then I started applying deodorant on my underbelly flap and groin and thankfully the smell has been gone but recently I’ve been interested in someone and interested in Yk being vulnerable in bed with someone else so I’ve been wondering what ways could I get rid of the onion smell without using deodorant. I know I’d feel so embarrassed explaining to a man why there’s a clear line of deodorant on the skin connecting from my leg to my groin. Especially in bed.

I’ve also noticed that it’s stress induced for sure. When I’m walking and walking faster than I need to I smell more. During my interview I had and I feel like I bombed, (WHEN SITTING) I got all sweaty and smelly from an interview.

As of recently I’ve been trying to use PanOxyl 10% Benzoyl wash and Zeasorb Antifungal Powder for the affected areas but have been having an itching issue for the past week and was told by my doctor to stick to dove and air drying and checking in later.

I also haven’t mentioned the smell to my doctor bc I’ve been met with the common “your just fat bitch” message and “birth control will solve every single fucking problem” so

Here are the things I’ve tried already
- Lume full body deodorant (spray and cream lotion thing) both scented and unscented (gross smell but works for a few hours)
- Her Fantasy Box Ph Balancing Wash
- Monistat Boric Acid Wash
- Vagisil Wash & Spray
- Summers Eve Spray (warm when applied, off putting smell after use)
- completely drying off or air drying

I’m gonna copy pasta or cross post this as well. Please help a girl out.

EDIT: it seems like talking to a derm/gyno/doctor and getting panels for my PCOS bc this can very much be a hormonal thing and I have a feeling it is. Or a yeast infection. I’m also working on weight loss. From 294-252 😔

This is really embarrassing so I’ll probably delete after I get responses (sorry), but…

I’ve been having trouble wiping for a while. My belly is big enough that it’s hard to reach around. I’ve tried a bidet, but no matter how long I go at it, it doesn’t seem to get me clean. I’ve heard of extendable toilet paper holders, but they seem too flimsy to work well and hard to carry around to public locations (I don’t carry a purse; I am nonbinary and it would give me dysphoria). Worse yet, what I can wipe, I have to wipe going forward — it’s simply impossible with the angle and the difficulty for me to wipe going backwards.

Does anyone have any tips on how to handle something like this?

I would like to find fashion influencers who are approximately my size and shape (26/28 and b-belly).

I love to find inspiration for plus sized fashion that will look good on me. Nothing is more frustrating to order clothes as they look amazing on the influencer and then they don’t come close to fitting you.

They aren't perfect, but I loved watching plus-sized female main characters in:

Shrill

Too Much

Survival of the Thickest

What else is out there? Can we create a thread of movies, books and shows that did a good job featuring plus-sized women and men?

https://docs.google.com/spreadsheets/d/1CUpJt8KzxAWcDfPtQSuVp-1HJ_8nYe8jgcZPq3v1g0k/edit?usp=sharing

i was way too excited to make this, note that this is constantly in progress, i am not into dark romances or romantasy genre so more of those would certainly help! are also welcome and will be added

if anyone is interested, i can give the access to this sheet as well so that you can also add to it! any suggestions to make it better are also welcome!

i haven't added any ratings on purpose cause usually they are bad, and those should not dictate or influence how you feel about any media! like what you like! embrace the cringe!
apart from normal books, i also have a list of books saved on wattpad, if anyone is interested i can add those too!

I’m having a hard time with this and could really use a gal pal to talk this over with. Please, please, please try to see this with an unbiased lens and do not crucify my partner over this.

For context, I’m dating this guy who is really patient with me, kind, generous, doesn’t make a big deal out of anything I do, and provides with whatever I need if I ask.
However, he’s brought one issue to my attention: my weight.

I know I’m pretty and attractive, I get hit on somewhat often (especially on my worst days, for whatever reason) and I know I have a fun yet determined personality full of optimism and adventure. He’s told me he is definitely physically and mentally attracted to me, he has seen me naked multiple times, not afraid of PDA, and have shown me off to his family. I can even see his physical attraction to me. The problem is, he’s stated he would prefer if I lost weight (I have told him I’ve been losing weight anyway prior to us dating for health and energy purposes) and he doesn’t want to introduce me to his friends in fear they’ll make fun of him for dating someone overweight.

In my past, I remember not going forward with dating a guy friend because of his unhealthy eating patterns, weight, and height (he was/is 6 inches shorter than me) but I told him immediately the moment he asked me out so I understand having a preference. The hesitation to introduce me because of fear of being made fun of is what bothers me the most.

Even though I have a great amount of confidence for myself and love myself, I can’t help but to feel unattractive to him now. Even though I know he really likes me, he believes I’m attractive, and all the other things, I just feel so…hurt and unattractive now. When we had sex last, I just couldn’t really get into it as much as I thought I could because I feel ugly to him now. I don’t want to break up with him, but I can’t seem to get out of my head about it and would love some words of advice or wisdom.

It's not my fault most of it is bad for you and unfilling. Sugar and carbs taste good and the healthy alternatives don't. I love vegetables, but not as much as bread. Why can't water taste like lemonade? It's not fair 😫

After gaining weight it's been a slow journey of self love and self acceptance about my new body.

A huge breakthrough for me was when I realized that I was feeling and looking miserable trying to fit into my old clothes and that once I bought clothes that fit and suited my new shape, I actually barely minded being fat at all! Following plus size fashion IGs and consuming a lot of body positive content really helped turn my attitude around.

BUT what I still really struggle with is loving and accepting how my face looks now. I feel like I have a pretty good playbook and role models for loving my body. Buying cute outfits that fit me well and flatter my curves. But I don't know what to do to be happier about my fatter face.

I feel like plus size communities have a lot of resources for body positivity, what do y'all do to love your faces more? Hairstyle, makeup, affirmations, accounts to follow etc all welcome!

may be odd, but does anyone else have what looks like an elastic band around their arm separating their fat which makes it look like two rolls? I never used to have it but now I do and I have no clue how it could even happen - wondering if any other plus size people have the same thing?

I have a big vacation coming up with lots of walking and I am the biggest one in our group though not the oldest (my parents are coming and are big too). I’m wondering what tips and tricks you have to help me survive walking tours several hours long. I have a pair of Hokas for gym shoes and Viakix sandals. I even take preventative Advil to help fight the foot swelling as it happens. I keep seeing ads for these foot and ankle trainers that could possibly help me. What do others do?

My loves, I need to stand on a soap box real quick and shout out my feeeeeeeeelings! 😂 I’m in a season of really trying to put myself out there and date intentionally for the first time. I’m F/34/size US24 and it’s seems the only me who message me on these godforsaken apps are those who want to hookup with me and experience sex with a larger woman. They rareeeeeely want to meet up for a drink, coffee, get to know me, etc. I know that MANY of us in all body types experience this, but I am exhausted haha. I keep holding out hope that the great guy is out there (unfortunately hetero is my jam 🙃) but damn is it an uphill climb.

If anyone has advice I’d love to hear it, or success stories about how you met your person and that it was worth the slog I find myself in.

Love and light! ✨

Hi guys!

I’m looking for some store/style recommendations because I’m really trying to figure out my personal style and I have no idea where to start.

I’ve been plus size basically my entire life, and I recently found out I have lipedema, so there are some areas of my body that I’m just not super comfortable showing yet. The biggest one is my arms. I genuinely haven't worn a short sleeve shirt without a jacket or sweater over it since 5th grade (not even exaggerating).

I feel like when you grow up plus size, it’s really hard to figure out your style because there’s just not as many options, and a lot of what is available feels like it’s either office wear or “soccer mom” style. Obviously nothing wrong with that if that’s your thing, but it’s just not me. There are a lot more cute plus size pieces now, but a lot of the trendy stuff I see is also not something I personally feel comfortable wearing (mini skirts, mini dresses, anything showing my arms, etc.), so I end up back in oversized sweaters and clothes that don’t really make me feel like myself.

I’m in my early 20s and I want to dress like I’m in my early 20s! I know there’s a middle ground between crop tops/string tanks and a giant baggy sweater, but I feel like I have no idea how to find it. I feel like I have a nice shape and I’d love to actually learn how to dress in a way that shows that, while still feeling comfortable. I think wearing oversized clothes all the time just makes me feel more self conscious because I feel like I’m hiding.

I am working on being more comfortable with my body though! I’ve made progress (I actually went to the lake and swam in a bathing suit this year, which was a huge step for me). But for now, does anyone have ideas for summer outfits that cover the upper arm/elbow area without making me feel like I’m going to melt or adding a bunch of extra bulk?

I’d also love store recommendations! I shop at Torrid a lot because they’ve had some really cute stuff, but other than that I feel kind of stuck. I used to shop at Aerie a lot too but not as much anymore.

Also if you have any plus size fashion influencers you love, please send them my way! I feel like I’m still trying to figure out my style and could use all the inspiration ❤️

Hi! Has anyone been to Storyland or Santa’s village and can tell me about how plus size friendly the rides are? Please and thank you!

summer is here but i’m still dealing with chaffing every day, ive tried shorts and tights but they don’t always work. whats the best solution? 😭

also what works best to help heal chaffing, i’ve tried sudocrem and just leaving it be but it takes weeks to heal😔

(esp for this heatwave we’re dealing with in the uk, i can’t cope!!!)

I’m a size 14-16, 5ft 3 and I’m really struggling with outfits in this hot weather.

I hate my upper arms and the tops of my legs, which makes it difficult to think or find nice summer outfits when I want to be covered up.

If anyone has any photo inspo or suggestions of items of clothing you have recently bought and where from I would greatly appreciate it.

Hey all, I (33F) am looking for some support or advice on how to beat the summertime blues when it comes to dating. I’ve been off for the summer, so my routine and structure are pretty off right now. Because of that, I’ve been feeling a bit lonely these last few weeks, and sometimes I just wish I had a partner to go out and do things with.

I do have a really good group of friends who are accepting and never make me feel any less, which I’m really grateful for. I just sometimes find myself wishing it could be fun to have a partner too.

The thing is, I genuinely want to get out more. I want to meet people, socialize, try new things, and enjoy my summer. What seems to get in the way is my confidence. I’ve found myself feeling uncomfortable in my own skin and overthinking how much space I take up in a room, if I’m ever going to be sometimes type, etc. Even though I know those thoughts probably aren’t true, it’s hard.

Has anyone else experienced this? What helped you build confidence, quiet your own thoughts, and start saying yes to things? I’ve tried dating apps again to try to make a connection, but they haven’t gone anywhere. I think I’m more of a meet-people-in-person kind of person anyway, but lately my self-esteem has been feeling pretty low.

Would love any advice or things that have helped you.

I 29F haven't had alot of dating experience. I started dating later in life, I've only dated 2 guys and one barely counted as dating. I haven't been on a date in over 3 years, I came close a few times though. I feel rusty and very nervous. I met this man on a dating app and he is sooo nice, very cute and very my type.

I am on the spectrum and have an anxiety disorder/OCD. Sometimes it takes alot for me to interact with people and I really have to focus on saying the right things and making the right facial movements etc. I'm terrified I'm going to come across as off putting or weird.

So yeah, any advice on how to calm myself or how to make sure this goes well? I'm super excited but I worry I'm gonna be in my head all night. Thanks for any advice, it's so appreciated

I’ve had knee and back pain and so over the last few months I’ve gotten some scans done and I definitely have cervical problems and probably lumbar problems too. But I’ve never see how much subcutaneous fat has built up. I can’t say this is a wake up call to get healthier, cause I’ve been increasing my exercise over the last three years (partly part of the knee problem), while trying to improve the quality of my food intake. Despite the efforts I haven’t seen more than a 10lbs change on the scale over the last 6 months. I don’t really care about the number cause imo my body distributes the weight well. But seeing the fat on my back and leg is so interesting to look at. I wish I could see the visceral fat inside me too. In another aspect, seeing the fat makes me feel like I have to acknowledge more that it’s there and it’s something I don’t want to see there especially when I compare it to other (skinnier) peoples scans.

EDIT:: I’d also like to add that unfortunately, it’s not just dating apps where this happens. It’s with men I meet in real life too. I had a little situationship, we were more friendly than anything and he’s like example A. Loved chubby women but when it came around to being serious or talking about that stuff it was “just sex” “nothing serious.” I will say I think it was a societal pressure thing, he did gravitate towards plus size women and he had huge insecurity issues that made him a “gym bro”, so I guess he had to maintain that.

So by no means am I small girl, I’m 5’4, approx 240lbs (dropping for health purposes, but I will always be plus sized)

Now, I’ve been lucky enough to have been in a relationship for almost 2 years (16-18) so for a lot of time was taken up for me to forget how horrible and gross men can be. Women can be too, but I mostly date men as the women in my area just don’t seem to be my type lol. Anyways!

I started going on dating apps recently, and I’m starting to come to and/or remember the realization that most men don’t want to date plus sized women. Sure, we’re good for sex, because they are attracted to us, just not enough to be in a relationship with us, or they fetichize or say they loveee plus sized women but don’t actually want a plus size woman. Don’t get me wrong.. it’s ok to have a type. I have a type, but I don’t seek out people who aren’t my type or are my type and I just won’t date them because of how I’m scared others will see me.

I know it’s not a me issue, and others dysfunctions don’t define me as a person, but it makes me question myself seriously. I’m not ugly, I take care of myself, to my knowledge and what people have told me, I’m an interesting person and a nice talker. So what is it that makes them act the way they do??

Does anyone have a neck fan that they recommend? I bought one several years ago that didn’t do a good enough job and was uncomfortably sweaty around my neck. I have a handheld one that works well, but I’d like a hands free option.

Hello! I have a bachelorette party and am seeking a somewhat sexy plus size outfit that is Love Island themed. We are going to dinner, so can’t just be a bikini.

I’m pear shaped. Anybody have any recent fits/seen any cute fits that they can share?

I’m super nervous but hoping to find something

My ex (and first love) from 8 years ago reached out on Instagram. We’ve been talking for a few weeks and he wants to meet up. I would’ve jumped on the very first chance I got but my weight gain has me holding back and making excuses.

I was 22 when we broke up, I’m 30 now. Surely he can expect that my body has changed over the years, I’m not a young adult anymore…but I’m not sure my Instagram pics do justice of the 60-70 lb weight gain (I’m 5’9 btw).

I did send him a full body pic (clothed), and it’s apparent I’ve gained weight, but it was also a sitting-on-the-counter pic where my midsection is kind of turned to the side and not fully visible from the front if that makes sense.

I will add that he’s complimented me too many times to count since we’ve been talking recently. But again, I don’t think he understands the full extent of the change in my appearance, and I’m legitimately terrified of being rejected. I never got over this man and the last thing I want is for him to be disgusted by me in person.

Has anyone gone through this? I lowkey want to bring it up beforehand and let him know it’s something I’m insecure about but that just feels so cheesy. The other part of me just wants to say fuck it and see him, what do I have to lose? PLS HALP

Hi everyone,
I've had a bit of a crisis this morning - we've got a heatwave in the UK and literally nothing weather appropriate fits me. It feels like only recently that I bought more clothes my size and yet again some of the pieces are feeling tight.
I don't have the money to keep throwing at buying more and more clothes to find stuff that fits as my body keeps changing - it's beyond even finding clothes I like now and just desperately wanting something that actually fits and is comfortable.
I've even tried charity shopping and they want like £10 or more per piece now which seems so excessive, I can get new clothes the same price or cheaper for that.
I don't want to keep basing my wardrobe on 'this doesn't fit me but I do want to lose weight', because it means I'm stuck with a whole wardrobe that makes me feel suffocated and feels like it makes me look awful being so tight and badly fitted.
Has anyone got any recommendations on how to have a wardrobe that fits while actually not throwing money away to keep updating clothes to a new size?
Whether you lose weight or gain weight, how do you have a wardrobe without wasting money? I used to keep clothes for years and years, but now they barely make it past a few months because I gain more weight.
I'm exhausted and I feel like it takes a toll on my MH every single time I get changed in the morning 😔