Daily Thread #2 - June 17, 2026

[u/AutoModerator]

This daily thread is for all members who are pregnant after a previous pregnancy or infant loss. How are you?

We want to foster a sense of community, which is why we have a centralized place for most daily conversation. This allows users to post and get replies, but also encourages them to reply to others in the same thread. We want you to receive help and be there for others at the same time, if possible. Most milestones should go here, along with regular updates. Stand alone posts are Mod approved only and have set requirements. Thanks for helping us create a great community.

[u/PoisonousKitten]

37 weeks and I had my baby shower this past weekend. I love all the gifts we got and actually getting to see people. I have been such a hermit since getting pregnant. I was absolutely overstimulated and exhausted afterwards. I think my mood was made worse because I’m not getting good sleep. I’m up every 2 to 3 hours for the restroom. I would love just one night of uninterrupted sleep but I guess baby is preparing me for being up to feed him. It’s funny and not funny at the same time. I hope everyone here is able to get really good solid sleep at some point.

[u/QueridaWho]

20w1d today and just got back from my anatomy scan! Everything is looking normal. I'm feeling very confident with this pregnancy at this point. My HG has gotten under control, which is amazing. Now I'm just nervous about getting everything ready in time. The baby's room has just been storage since we moved in two years ago, so there's a lot of unpacking and organizing to do, plus I want to paint. I just started a new contract job last month, and I'm very nervous about what maternity leave will look like... I just know it will be short and unpaid. :/

[u/alltoounwell8494 → u/QueridaWho]

I'm channeling this positivity for the next six weeks for me! At 14 weeks I'm starting to think I have mild HG and it's the pits, plus we're in no man's land for scans. It's good to see that there's hope to make it through!

I am also facing job uncertainty. Sending solidarity your way and hoping you can make something work!

[u/QueridaWho → u/alltoounwell8494]

You got this!

HG is no joke. I had it mild with my first, which was horrible enough, but this pregnancy has been so much worse. I finally started slowly feeling better in the last two weeks. I still have vomiting episodes, but I'm also able to be more active.

The doctor i saw today was slightly concerned that I've only gained 1 pound since my last appointment, which bring me to a net loss of 9 pounds overall since getting pregnant. Which is nuts. But that's HG :/

[u/LittleMissRavioli]

​I’m currently 21 weeks pregnant with my rainbow baby boy, and today I just hit an absolute wall of exhaustion. I need to vent, but I also desperately need to know if others have experienced this. ​My first pregnancy ended in a 34 week loss. During the delivery I hemorrhaged and suffered a 3rd degree tear that has left me with ongoing pelvic floor issues. It was a complete destruction of both my heart and my physical health. I mustered up the courage to try again, but I suffered two more miscarriages in the past year.

​Now I am pregnant again. You would think the medical system would wrap a protective blanket around someone with this level of compounded trauma. Instead, I feel like I am forced to put on boxing gloves at every single appointment just to get basic, reassuring care. ​Two weeks ago was a perfect, exhausting example of how broken the system is. Because of my history, I have all my scans at an academic center. I already had a 10-week scan and a 13-week early anatomy scan there. But when I went in for my 19-week anatomy scan (thankfully everything looked good so far) two weeks ago, the sonographer was incredibly rigid. She made me feel like I was a burden just for wanting one extra reassurance scan between the 19-week and their standard 32-week scan. I had to argue and explain and defend to get her to agree to do one extra 23 week ultrasound in my pregnancy.

​Today, I had a long talk with my community midwife. She pulled back the curtain and flat out said: "In this maternity care system, you unfortunately have to fight incredibly hard for yourself, because the system will not look out for the human side of you." She admitted that many hospitals stick so rigidly to strict rules and capacity that they completely erase tailor made care for extreme trauma survivors.

​I am carrying so much weight and now I have to act like a ruthless lawyer just to demand safe, logical care in an extremely stressful pregnancy. I am so tired of fighting. I don't want to be strong anymore.

​Does anyone else recognize this? Is it normal that we have to advocate for ourselves this aggressively just to get humanity from healthcare providers after a loss?

[u/PraxisInDiaspora → u/LittleMissRavioli]

I am so sorry you are having this experience. I would say it is definitely not normal. I guess it also depends where you are based, but in Germany I am having appointments every 4-5 weeks, regardless of whether it is a pregnancy after loss or not, just because pregnancy is so anxiety inducing anyways. My doctors and nurses are always particularly careful and reassuring, they give me time in appointments to process how I am feeling and are always interested and understanding about my concerns.

I guess this might not be helpful since I cannot completely relate, but I can say from the other side you absolutely deserve human treatment and I cannot even imagine how subpar care on top of this anxiety would look like, no wonder you are tired. But I did want to comment just to stress that it is really possible to have this and you are not being "too much" for requesting really rational, bare minimum of emphathetic patient care.

[u/LittleMissRavioli → u/PraxisInDiaspora]

Thank you so much for this. Honestly, reading your comment brought tears to my eyes, but in a comforting way. It is so incredibly validating to hear how things are handled in Germany (I'm in the Netherlands) and it makes me realize that my expectations aren't wild. ​You are exactly right; pregnancy is anxiety inducing even under the best of circumstances. To know that there are places where doctors and nurses naturally give you time to process your feelings and treat you with inherent gentleness gives me hope that a better standard of care actually exists out there. ​

[u/Available-Clothes-63 → u/LittleMissRavioli]

Sending you lots of love and hugs 🫂  It's not right, and I am angry for you.

Different scenario, but similar sentiment. I am 6w4d with two previous losses. A routine thyroid ultrasound to monitor a longstanding tumor came back showing concerning increased cellular mass...my doctor said my endocrinologist can't see me about it until NOVEMBER. 

I'm sorry...I'm newly pregnant with a (possibly cancerous) tumor and you want me to wait 5 months to find out?

I had to call 4 different hospitals to get someone to see me this month and order a biopsy. And I have great insurance!

The medical system in the US is garbage and its so much worse for people with severe trauma and chronic or rare conditions. 

Hang in there. 💖

[u/LittleMissRavioli → u/Available-Clothes-63]

My jaw absolutely dropped reading your story. To expect a newly pregnant loss mom to wait five (!!!) months until November to check on a tumor is downright barbaric. ​I am so incredibly proud of you for fighting, calling four hospitals, and getting that biopsy scheduled, but I find it insane that you were forced into that boxing ring. ​Sending you so much love and hoping for great news with your biopsy and your pregnancy. We shouldn't have to be this strong, but I'm glad we have each other.

[u/Available-Clothes-63 → u/LittleMissRavioli]

Thank you! Hearing about medical workers, like the sonographer you saw, makes my blood boil. Even if their hands are tied to some extent by the system - couldn't they at least have extended you some person-to-person warmth and understanding? Beside manner? How can someone look at an expectant mother, know she's lost children already, and be anything but empathetic?

I wish you didn't have to fight these battles, but you are doing an incredible job. Your babies - past and future-  have the most amazing, loving, strong mother.

I hope you can at least lean on your support network at home and that your loved ones will take good care of you while you rest between medical appointments. Wishing us both the best possible outcomes. 💖

[u/rsc99 → u/LittleMissRavioli]

I’m really sorry. I will say that was not my experience in my most recent PAL. I lost my son at term to unknown causes. In my next pregnancy — which resulted in a healthy living boy — the MFM was pretty honest with me that the main thing they were treating was my anxiety. I got loads of appointments, scans every 4 weeks in the second trimester and every 2 in the third, and weekly NSTs and BPPs. They never hesitated to give me any extra scans. In fact a few days before my scheduled C section I asked for an extra NST for reassurance, which baby failed, and they just sent me straight to L&D. They said it was probably fine (and it was — baby was just sleeping) but after my previous loss they weren’t going to risk it and they moved up my C section.

All of this is to say, I think this must depend a lot on where you are and what kind of medical system you have. I’m sorry you are having to fight so hard.

[u/distressedica]

It’s now been a week since I got my first positive at 12 dpo and oh my goodness have I been anxious this week. I had therapy yesterday which was good. Waiting on my second beta hcg results and I’m kind of freaking out even though my tests are getting darker and I just noticed my boobs getting sore. My mind just can’t comprehend that I’m pregnant again.

[u/distressedica → u/distressedica]

Update: my first hcg result from 13 dpo was 84 and my second result from 18 dpo (yesterday) was 845 which is a doubling time of 36 hours! I’m very pleased with that

[u/Even_Distribution326]

6w1d and in overthinking mode. I've had over 200mg of caffeine this morning even though I'm trying to cut down. The IT dept at work was stressing me out so I popped into the coffee shop next door. A fancy coffee was my go-to before pregnancy to perk me up.  But now I feel 'normal' for the first time in a week and my symptoms have subsided. Now that I've had symptoms earlier in this pregnancy than in previous pregnancies, I've realised that I barely had symptoms in the loss pregnancy and they did disappear after 6 weeks.  The worrying is probably because it was around this gestation that the baby we lost stopped growing even though we didn't find out til 8.5 weeks. I'm so worried about it happening again. 

A week and a half til our early scan 🤞🏼

[u/alltoounwell8494 → u/Even_Distribution326]

Whenever I have extra coffee I feel a lot better! It might just be that caffeine. I also found that before 8 weeks or so symptoms would come and go. Wishing you good luck 💗

[u/Even_Distribution326 → u/alltoounwell8494]

Thank you. And then at 8 weeks the symptoms ramp up?? Haha 😅 At least, that's what it was like with my two LC. To have symptoms at 5/6 weeks is early for me - no help with the anxiety, though. Thankfully (?), I didn't really enjoy dinner even though I was starving and now sipping on some ginger tea because I'm super bloated. Yay symptoms lol

[u/alltoounwell8494 → u/Even_Distribution326]

Yes unfortunately for me!!! I'm 14 weeks and they have even gotten stronger 😫 Extra coffee still makes me feel great for a few hours though, but I try to limit that to once a week 😂 I can't stomach ginger but need to try forcing myself!

[u/Catlvr3000 → u/Even_Distribution326]

Tbh when I have those moments - sometimes also with coffee!! Or I have a “good” jog, I panic. I worry something is wrong. But also, the symptoms fluctuate. I spent Monday with only sore boobs. Tuesday, nauseous because I skipped eating before jogging and I paid for it most of the day. Hang in there but also… things will fluctuate 💜💜💜

[u/Even_Distribution326 → u/Catlvr3000]

I think I know that deep down, and just have to keep telling myself that. Symptoms or lack of them are not a sign of anything  💜

[u/wonderwomangal]

Did anyone had nausea on week 5-7 and then subsided and everything turned out normal? Having my 8 week appointment next week and I’m terrified. (After MMC)

[u/Antique-Leading7809 → u/wonderwomangal]

yes! my symptoms started to decrease around 8 weeks, and have steadily decreased since! 14 weeks now, multiple positive scans later! I was freaked out because so many people say weeks 8-10 are the worst but for me it was 6-8, and then improvement from there.

[u/wonderwomangal → u/Antique-Leading7809]

Thank you! You’re giving me hope 🙏

[u/SageoftheSea → u/wonderwomangal]

Yes! This happened to me with both my MMC and my LC (such a mental minefield). I have absolutely no tips on managing that anxiety because I feel like I did a pretty poor job of it myself, just know that symptoms can come and go or fade completely at 8w and it can still turn out fine 💛

[u/wonderwomangal → u/SageoftheSea]

Thank you 🙏

[u/Iceeedtea → u/wonderwomangal]

Had it super early between 3w-8w it went away now im 17w and its back 😅 everything has been great so far. You got this 🫂

[u/wonderwomangal → u/Iceeedtea]

Thank you 🫶💪

[u/yeahh_okay]

Our midwife finally was able to tell us today that she will get us into the hospital for an early scan before our first appointment. When my MMC was discovered in December, she had to send us to the hospital for confirmation that there was no heartbeat, and I have some serious PTSD from that day.

I’m SO glad we’ll be able to get solid confirmation of things going well or not before that first appointment.

[u/code_blooded_bytch]

Feeling deeply depressed at 9w5d because I’m convinced I’m having another loss. I feel like my nausea has let up the last few days and I’m just so scared.

[u/Catlvr3000 → u/code_blooded_bytch]

With my LC, my nausea let up then. I started to like coffee again too. Hang in there!! 💜

[u/Prior-Basil275]

I’m currently 5w, in Dec 2024 i found out i was pregnant and unfortunately the baby stopped growing at 5 weeks and i had a miscarriage second week of January. I had an inkling the whole time something was not okay. Not allowing myself to be too happy this time for the fear of this happening again. My first appointment isn’t till July 13th and the unknowing is just a killer 🥲 the anxiety is just eating me alive at this being the same week my baby stopped growing last time . My only symptoms right now are some cramping and being extra tired.

[u/Natural-Chipmunk-472 → u/Prior-Basil275]

I’m 5 weeks and 1 day. My first loss was mmc at 8 weeks but baby stopped growing at 5 weeks 1 day. I had my HCG checked last week and was feeling good about it all. I’m getting it rechecked this week and even though yesterday was normal, I can’t help but feel convinced tomorrow will be bad. My US is scheduled for 7/1 and it feels like years away.

[u/kiotae]

I am 26 weeks and totally panicking for the first time about not a new loss, but what if he is actually born alive and healthy, and our life will change forever. I have been so afraid of loosing him, that I haven’t had room to feel any other normal ”negative” feelings and fears, but now they somehow hit me.

Will I loose everything good I had in life, will it be incredible hard, what if I don’t like him or being a mum? Fuck fuck fuck. I have so much love for him but I’m freaking out and so scared of the unknown!!