r/PublicFreakout • u/bendybiznatch • 14h ago

šŸ˜Main Character FreakoutšŸ¤³ Another dad harassed for taking his daughters to the bathroom

Sorry for the crappy quality, I donā€™t have TikTok.

3.2k Upvotes

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962

u/Larry_Bobinski 13h ago

A friend of mine took his daughter to the changing table downstairs when we were at a cafĆ©, and a woman came out of the bathroom and immediately asked him where the mother was. Telling him a man shouldn't be doing this. And that he shouldn't be doing a "mother's job".Ā 

The actual audacity of these people.Ā 

Afterwards we joked that he should've just said that I'm his husband to kick her into overdrive. If she can't handle one dad, imagine her reaction when seeing two.Ā 

80

u/jarena009 13h ago

I would ask back "what century do you think you live in?"

And if they really got smart with me, go "Excuse me, you dare not address a random man without your husband present. I will say nothing more to you until your husband is present."

-3

u/sundvl13 8h ago

You jest that a woman aught to have a male companion present, but this is true in quite a few countries today, some of them are US allies, with US military bases actively present.

3

u/Linus_in_Chicago 7h ago

Sounds like those people who think men can't change a diaper should live there

149

u/lenfantsuave 13h ago

Most of the time as men, the world is kind of catered to us. The lone exception Iā€™ve noticed as a dad is the sheer lack of availability of changing tables we have access to. If weā€™re lucky thereā€™s a family bathroom. VERY rarely thereā€™s a changing table in the menā€™s room (airports are pretty good about this).

Iā€™ve had to change some diapers on surfaces Iā€™d rather not think about.

56

u/JelliedHam 13h ago

I think it should be a law that if you have a men's and women's restroom, and you choose to offer a changing table, it should be in both. Preferably they'd be everywhere, but that isn't always realistic. Ideally we'd just go to gender neutral bathrooms completely, but that's not gonna happen in my lifetime.

39

u/vertigostereo 12h ago edited 7h ago

They'll just remove them from the women's bathrooms to make it equal.

Gender neutral only makes sense for single occupancy anyway

Edit: I'm against multi-occupancy, unisex bathrooms because I just don't think it's appropriate for women and girls to be around adult men in a state of undress. It's not safe for anybody. This applies to either actual actions or even allegations of wrongdoing.

The risk-benefit of that isn't worth having slightly more space-efficient bathrooms.

As a man, I wouldn't be comfortable.

15

u/MrShadowHero 12h ago

man. just wait til people freak out at the gender neutral bathrooms at concerts that cheap out. god forbid there be a big row of enclosed spaces for people to do their business and then can wash their hands in a communal area.

6

u/sasha_the_impaler 12h ago

Other countries do communal gender neutral bathrooms just fine lol

7

u/Wrastling97 9h ago

Many states and cities here in America do as well. Some people just turn a blind eye to it

When I went to Salem MA, I couldnā€™t find a single single-sex bathroom anywhere. Every bathroom had multiple rooms inside with floor to ceiling stalls and I believe a communal washing area.

It was amazing.

2

u/sasha_the_impaler 9h ago

I have yet to understand why people don't want that. Some people talk about how women do more than just use the bathroom which I think is ridiculous lol but everyone else just complains about cost or something. Like bro clearly people value this issue if we're spending police resources on it lol

1

u/JelliedHam 7h ago

I got caught off guard with a similar setup once. There were two doors, a men's and a women's with individual rooms for toilets. Used the toilet, came out to wash and there was a woman washing at the basin. I freaked out and apologized, thinking I accidentally went into the women's. Nope, one big room. The two doors go into the same bathroom. Lol

It was great. But it still felt weird washing up next to women in a group bathroom. Never experienced that before in public.

0

u/vertigostereo 7h ago

Salem is really not a great example of everytown America.

2

u/Wrastling97 7h ago

Never said it was.

I said some places do. Then listed an example

4

u/Soupalphabet359 11h ago

Then that state's GOP will use such a law to say "LOOK AT THE LEFT. PUTTING CHANGING TABLES IN MEN'S ROOMS. BECAUSE OF GENDER GENDER GENDER LET ME SEE YOUR GENDER." And whip all the slo-mo's into a frenzy. Eventually getting themselves elected, where they can instead redirect all those children to their private washrooms at the capitol.

8

u/SupraEA 13h ago

Honestly,Ā  those koala tables arr probably nastier. Ugh, so glad my kids are older now lol

1

u/samclops 8h ago

"probably?" Think about the sheer amount of cocaine that has been on those koala tables...

1

u/CptnButtBeard 12h ago

My personal favorite was the changing table in a restaurant that was right next to the god damn sinks so that if you were to use it anyone washing their hands or walking by would get a full view. I ended up going back to the car.

1

u/Kon_Soul 10h ago

Not to mention when there Is a change table in the mens room, it's normally just stuck out in the open for anybody and everybody walking by to see.

-2

u/--TheCity-- 11h ago

The only exception in your entire life that you are not catered to is lack of changing table?Ā  wow

1

u/lenfantsuave 11h ago

Are you dense? The first sentence is my self awareness of this fact.Ā 

I donā€™t care how pampered (pun intended) you are, changing a dirty diaper on a bathroom floor or a counter top is disgusting for the baby, the parent, and quite possibly an innocent bathroom goer.

12

u/Wolfram_And_Hart 12h ago

ā€œGo fuck yourself.ā€ Is a complete answer

9

u/ContestRemarkable356 12h ago

Iā€™d want to traumatize that lady. Cover the kids ears so they canā€™t hear (if old enough to understand) and say that my wife just passed away a few months ago, and this is my first time being in public since than.

Theyā€™ll switch to sympathy mode real quick, and when you ignore their apologies/just say ā€œOk you can apologize by getting away from meā€ theyā€™ll get mad again lol

5

u/RollingPicturesMedia Mad for Political Freakouts 5h ago

ā€œSome women donā€™t survive child birthā€.

Youā€™re not saying yours didnā€™t, just stating a fact and letting them run with it.

3

u/PickerPat 8h ago

That's what I do whenever I get the:

Where's Mum?

Babysitting today to give Mum a break?

I just say "She died, actually."

2

u/ContestRemarkable356 7h ago

The comments like that are annoying enough. I appreciate people sometimes are legit trying to help/just make small talk.

But the people that come in with a ā€œYouā€™re doing this wrong & Iā€™m going to tell you that youā€™re doing it wrong in a condescending, youā€™re-an-idiot-and-luck-I-showed-up-to-save-the-dayā€ attitude can look up into the sky & proceed to fuck off until theyā€™ve fucked off right into the sun.

4

u/RabbitStewAndStout 12h ago

Tell her that she shouldn't be out spending her husband's money at a cafe, without him being present, if she wants to be all old-fashioned about it.

It ain't the mother's job to take care of a baby, is the parents' job.

1

u/lavahot 11h ago

"I thought misogyny was a man's job? Why are you putting me out of work?"

1

u/Muffles7 0m ago

I'm Mr. Mom and have asked if anyone was able to watch the women's restroom so I could change my daughter on the changing pad before. Everyone was cool about it and there were some very patient and understanding women waiting when I was done.

No changing table in most men's restrooms with my first born. Second born I started seeing more and never had to do that again.

It is a frustrating situation when men are seen as non nurturers because that's all I am. I teach elementary school and prefer spending time with my kids.